Panatheon 20: Discount Bel

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Get it together. Hello and welcome to Is that a six or a nine? And I'm with the DND podcast made by idiots. Stop it. My name is Buckle. I'm. Adm I'm joined by my. Name is Marco and I'm an idiot. I'm joined by Carl Nicholson. I'm playing Balasophilus. Maria Nicholson, I'm. Playing IK Grassley. And Andre Ballard.

Andre Bauer, I think. It might be an actor or something. It was the first thing that came to my head that began with. Jack Bauer isn't he? Isn't that? Isn't that Reacher preacher? Alex will take a minute if you want to backhand him. I didn't even register that you were talking to me. That's how bad it was. It's actually Alex, but I'm playing with. He only gives. You shit because you're the best player. Yeah, true, Maybe you're annoying.

Anyway, how are we all doing so hot? It's. Fucking well hot. It's fun. Carl's in a vest. I'm literally in my boxes. I'm wearing shorts of Elvis Presley's face all over them. Oh, it's so comfortable. Alex is in a special hell of our own. Yeah, just. Want to keep back? Together, strip down to your underwear like the rest of us, weirdo. OK, I'm not in my underwear.

The only one here in their underwear is the DM. Yeah, well, I'm hot and uncomfortable. My balls hurt because I had them removed.

Disconnected rather than removed, I suppose. We're just so disconnected. But to be fair, though, I will say, I was saying to six people, it's like, it is wild to me that the amount of shit that you went through with your like. Oh, it's ongoing. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's still like you're having your thing cancelled and moved. By the time I have my next emergency. Surgery removed and so on. I would have been waiting over a year for my emergency surgery by the time I get it. Whereas mine I booked it in the clinic it was it took two weeks to go and do it unless you drove drove up to the place they sat me down like pretty much as soon as I walked into the building.

Kit off weirdly kit off weirdly kit off and then then sign all of the paperwork which. That seems. Weird. Now that we've got you by the short curly change. My mind, whatever but yeah, there's like 3 nurses stroking your hair and telling you what a good boy you're being while this guy's going at it on your nut sack and then you come out and they give you all this information you're. Going to put a trigger warning at the start of this episode. Yeah, I know it's gross to talk about. Really, it's all.

Great. I think it's I'm all for, I'm an advocate. And then we can actually start discussing the real issue, which is what is it, the medical gap, the medical gender gap. Yeah, somewhere, yeah. The pay the pain gap. Pain gap, that's what it's. Called. Well, it wasn't. Particularly painful or uncomfortable, but. We're not going to discuss it because, yeah, I mean. Is this a conversation for the car? I don't. Yeah. Probably, probably not. For now at least, regret it already. Medical treatment between Menga women weren't using clinical trials until the 90s I think it was.

Yeah, it's something insane about that, but to be fair. Also cares what they think. Pesticides and bleach and our tampons or whatever it was that they found arsenic and shit. Are you vape so you don't really get to complain about that I. Don't have periods though, so I think we might need. To scrap some of this.

Anyway. Off to flying start. Yeah. Hi, I'm Matt. Welcome to this at 6:09. Carry on. Should close that door. This ball's hurt. This is a podcast for idiots made by idiots. Everyone's. On this day. I'm I'm Alex, and I'm joined by Marcus Dumpweed.

Oh, no dice for you. Oh. You were so close. You got the first name wrong. Wrong. Name that was right, first left. It's the heat, I think this. Is oh God, it's so hot. And also we all sat down and went right, let's be professional. And it lasted. Less than a second. Yeah, 2 minutes. I was talking about my. 20 years.

But it's the only thing that's happened. To me, you make the mistake of asking what we were all doing and the answer is hot. Yeah, anyway. Anyway, it's funny and we'll be professional. Stop rolling. Don't roll the dice while I'm talking. Just Charlie. Go take Andre. Anyway.

It's a football player or something. Why? I'm sure I said Andre. What? Andre Bauer. You can Google it if you. Go that way. You're doing that. OK, recap. Last time you guys woke up at the priest Prince's sort of palace apartment thing after your heavy night out at Club Dionysius or whatever it was called, it's Captain Roy Holt. Yeah, he's a fucking legend. He is. I'll be honest, the my boy, it's I've no idea. What? They're talking about. Yeah, he's Captain Hulk from everything I know. Oh, I haven't watched.

It fantastic. Because like, this is uncanny, I will say.

Right. Anyway, you guys? Woke up after big coughing. The night before, Riv ferrets who noticed anything going on in her bed when she woke up, but did find Bell standing on the. Alchemy overlooking the city. That wasn't what I wanted to see you guys all realised. Examine compared your brand new tattoos that you all had done at the nightclub, all of which contained special magical powers, including one of the Prince had which was tiger face paint on his face. I literally between the two episodes, I wrote down a little like list of the tattoos that could be used and where they could be and numbered them so that you guys roll dice and he rolled on one because his face.

He is if, if. Oh my God. I forgot his name. The party king. Curly it was. Going to be Brad, but he's the Prince. The Prince. That's the one. Amos. Amos. Amos. Yeah. He. Is the. Epitome of a natural one. Yeah. That is the energy he. Gives. I mean, for now. It may not. It may he, may not always be that way. We'll see as it gets older. We hope not. You may die, you don't know. I hope so, sorry. Well anyway, then you guys decide to go and hit the books before you left town and basically you made me narrate a history podcast.

I made-up. My own head. Well done, well done. 45 minutes of me pulling lore out of my ass, which is quite quite. Just fun to be just an extended. TV for everyone else, hence the refresher episode in between most writing. Yeah. Yeah, you learn a bit about the war between Paedophile and Katie's. I can forgot the name though. You learn a bit about the war between Paedophile and Katie's. You learn a bit about gluteanus and pancreatitis, how they formed their resistance, how they knitted the country together, and a little bit about how other places around the country feel about that.

Some of the power players during the war, and people who might conceivably benefit afterwards. Then you gather up your stuff, headed to the edge of town. And that is where we are now. Tame. All right. What's the next one we're doing? We we are heading back to Annan's now that the Prince has his advisor, if we can call that thing. No, no, we're going to talk to you're talking about Brad, Chad or Chester. We're. Going to. Have to talk to.

Brad, we are. Yes. Pancreatitis. We'll fix this. Yes. Big boy panky.

I have been thinking. Anyway, we love Panky.

I've raised the Empire is in the safe hands of me Uncle Panky. Oh, actually no summary thing. I'll be like, you're a panky kill the. Traitorous. Prince. I've been thinking a lot about this. The last time I brought it up you laughed in my face. I would like an explanation as to why I once I once said that it could have been a doppelganger and onions. You both laughed it off and said that it was an impossible idea. I would like to just remind everyone that we are not trained assassins, nor were we spies.

You two were able to pull off a really good disguise in a matter of minutes and steal the Prince out of Allen's in the middle of the night, walking brazenly past. Guards. I think that says more about his security. It doesn't. Matter. Just saying that if you can, who's to say someone better has not done a better job? Absolutely. I think there are lots of things to look at. Yeah. But from the reaction of the DM when you said that. I do not think it's true. I think you're bluffing. Maybe I'm secretly really smart and just manipulate you all.

Don't leave me like that, the sharp and take a breath as you got ready to rebut anyway. Right. So you guys heading on your way, on your way to Anne's, your first pit stop is planned to be the city region of Fasse. That was where you were going. I don't have my notebook. Train. I did bring my notebook. Well, if you listen to the podcast, you'll figure it out. So you're basically continuing the Prince's media rehabilitation if you like. Completing deeds. Slaying. Monsters, saving children, etcetera, etcetera we have.

To go to all the different holes and I'll make the other people love him. If they weren't going to accept him as king, he's going to need a people behind him that says thus the first stop. Yeah, that says essentially on the. Way right. And do we don't have the advisor with us, right? No good, because I will. Kill him. Dad is staying at the college just to finish off well begin his learning. No, I'm going to have a long chat. His role? Now that I've cleared some of the air with the shift, maybe put in a good work.

I love Chad. I'm not going to do it. Now what? Are you doing here? You're always just popping up places. Following you in the bushes. Goddammit, shift. Yelling shit, Yeah. Kind of like it.

We've been astrayed for a. Year I was looking forward to hanging up. Yeah. No, no, no, I love. It you're more than welcome to come with shut. Up. You're being put in a timeout. Excellent, Yes. So you head to Fasse. So essentially the plan is head east to Fasse, a big city, on the way to Annan's, one of the main cities supporting the Empire, and once you've dealt in passe, you head South to get to Annan's again. Move ourselves. What do we know about passe? You spend a few days on the road without too much incident other than everyone, everything up, everyone levelled up.

We're level 4 now so. Thanks for levelling me up guys. You head along the road for a few days without any incident, and eventually you hit essentially the realm of Fasse. Fasse is sort of a plains land. It's all sort of wide grassy plains, Yeah. And rolling hills, little streams running between them, and rivers, huge herds of horses or bison. Rome Region. Oh, so it's like a step? Yeah, like a yeah, yeah. And Basse itself is kind of like sort of like Rohan. And it's famous like historically as a military power specifically for producing cavalry horses, riders and and during the war against Katies that we'll probably know during the war against Katie's, the horse Lords of Fasse were the sort of spearheads of gooty anuses operation.

You know, when he went into battle, he had his ranks and ranks of infantry, but he had two wings of cavalry that he would alternate how he worked. He would use them to attack flanks or try and flank around behind, etcetera, or the usual cavalry tactics, the kind of locals if you like. So you see a few of these people as you're crossing the fields, you'll see groups of riders that are accompanying herds of horses or cattle or whatever. And they wear sort of like long sort of leather coats, like sort of dusters.

They have quite wide brimmed metals or like domed helmets essentially, but with a wide brim on them. And they carry curved swords at their sides. They have sort of an array of single shot crossbows on like bandoliers and they're famous. Some of these sort of riders were used as sort of like shock scout cavalry. Essentially they just charge in, they loose off shit loads of boat like crossbow bolts into the lines and then retreat straight away. And you see quite a few of this style of a person and Bell probably is giddy going.

Oh, these? They look so cool. The armour's better than ours. Maybe you should become. A horse Lord. Can't ride? You can't ride. I've never been to a hell or ride. I've never been to a hard ride. Oh. My God, we should take you on like one of those kids. Ones where they put them around. You need a pony? Yeah, don't need a pony. A bell on a pony. Bell Pony. Just being pulled along by like a 17 year old who's doing a summer jump. This is me. I'm having fun. He's doing like. Really early Assyrian thing where he's sitting on the back of a horse and there's another guy on another horse.

He's holding the reins for him so he can swing his sword around and feel hard. Oh my. God. Brilliant. I'm having fun. This is me being a badass. We. Anyway, you see a lot of not a lot, but you see a few of these like huge herds, you just rolling grassland with huge blue sky overhead and you see these groups of you see dust getting kicked up and then swarm of horses, horses coming swarms being led by these cavalry guys. Whatever. Is it a? Herd. Yeah, it's pretty certain it's a herd is. It a. Herd of horses, I'm pretty certain.

Murder. Murder of horses. It's definitely a herd. That's that's what like one of those guys that like My Little Pony bronies. That's what I say, isn't it? Yeah. So how the bronies? Yeah, join them. I bet at least one person in your other campaign that you play with other people is. Bronie I. Haven't heard that term for ages, Bronie. I reckon at least one of them is. What joy are you saying? I. Think it more just comes under. The term probably don't you? Yeah. He loves Applejack. His. Name is Apple.

Crap, shut up. Does he drink cider?

That's not cider he's drinking. Drink. Apple crap. Something.

From Apple's crap. And it's not because we had horses when we were a kid. It's just. That's just how God made him. He just gives me for any rhymes.

Anyway. Anyway. So is my ex-husband to be fun? What? Let's not go into that. If you don't want to. Know after a few days on the road you eventually come to like a little town state, just simple wooden building. It's kind of like a Wild West town, just on the side of like either side of this road. There's a general store, there's a saloon over there, but the all of the people are sort of gathered in the middle of the street and there's like raised voices and they're shouting and arguing as you approach.

I think the further that I walk into this town, the more I start. I put my fingers through my belt. I start walking with a swagger. It always walks through the. Swagger. He's just like kicking out the dust. He's a happy. He's fashioned himself some spurs out of yeah. Cool. I guess we just. Can have all the perception to overhear what they're shouting about. It's been in the gift shop and found himself with like little phone steps and helmet. You know, like when you visit Wild West Town. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what the cavalry guys are wearing. It's not like, like phone what the cavalry guys are wearing. And he's like, yeah, Perception 22. Yeah, pretty good. OK. Yeah. So as you approach was. That meant to roll perception. If you do you want to know what's going on, you could help Bell if not. Around 20. You know.

I was like, you'll have to roll an actual 20. I did. You did. Well done. Thank you. Cool. So as you approach, the crowd essentially has it's like sort of back to you guys and this building that they're in front of has a big sundial on the front of it like a town hall. And the crowd are like yelling at someone on the steps of this building, just sort of irate. They're complaining about a threat out of town keeps coming in, stealing their livestock. Why aren't you doing anything? Why aren't they doing anything?

And I guess we have Nat 20. As you approach, you kind of move through the crowd. You can see this guy standing on the steps of this town hall essentially, and he's kind of flanked by these quite tough looking, like mercenary bandit types. People got swords and bows and things on them, but they kind of just stood, their arms folded, trying to look tough behind this guy who's he's a bit like Protagoras that you met in EOS. Oh, that sounds cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a bit like Pythagoras. He's wearing like a dusty, knackered looking toga, slightly older weathered looking guy, and he's kind of like try like pat in the air trying to calm this crowd.

Friends, friends, I, I, we, I they're here to deal with the problem. They're doing it. I appreciate you're scared. And yes, we will deal with the problem. They're here to deal with the problem. We need to collect. They've said that they've found what's going on. They, they they just, we need to collect more money to give them for the it's dangerous work for them. They we need to pay them more to do it. Is there like someone like next to us that I can just be like, what the Hell's going on like? Yeah, like, yeah, you pick a random guy.

Yeah, yeah. Just like you. Yeah, someone. Speak to. Me. What the Hell's going on? Who the hell are these people? These guys, these are a bunch of fucking free loaders. They're supposed to be helping us get our livestock back and but we there's only so many giant goats in the area and we're proud of them and they they keep stealing it. We need them back. Sounds like something a king could take care of. Oh yeah, I wish we had one of. Those around. Sounds like a job for both. Suffer us, man.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Why? Is he falling out of the sky to? Zombies. I I said that the the old dude just said that they've already found your livestock or they've already figured it out. What? Why? Are they? Yeah, isn't it? It's. Interesting. They came to town, they said they were going to do the job 1st and then we we gave them the money to go and do the job. And then they came back and they said they spent the money trying to hunt down the herd and then they need more money to get actually reclaim the herd.

So you're being fleeced. Yeah, it would sound like that, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah, OK, being. Scammed. Should we kill them now or just run them out of town do. You want to take the Prince off and make a meal out of him, saying that he. Would.

Fucking do it. What? Today is your lucky day, young sire. You get to play being a hero. Make your case your people are in need of you, OK? Can you come with me? Can I get the? Printer help action please. Yeah, OK. Bell, Bell. It's black armour. Yeah, it's just strange, Nice and talking. It's like standing on the station hero pose. Yeah, Riv, like, I don't know, start trying. Cast someone. 'S balls no like she's. I was not listening for half a second. Yeah, just whose balls always stumbling? No, I. Was I was.

Just like intimidating. I was gonna like start trying to like cast a spell but not cast it. Just like intimidating, just like. OK. I'm doing this. Disgusting. Stop it. You're gonna make Matthew cry. Probably really misses his. It's still there, it's just purely decorative. Cosmetic only, no more buffs.

Fun. Anyway. The stitches in, you know, when you buy a hand and it's got like, yeah, it's got like that string around it, They look like that genuine. Did you have to give yourself injections? Afterwards for blood to stop blood clots. No. OK, well I did. She had. Surgery. On her knee and I obviously had my surgery and we both had to do the injections. So I was just. Wondering if you had to Do they sting? Like a mother. It's I, I think it's if you're like having to stay, have anaesthesia, like lying down for a certain period of time.

Yeah, because they don't want if you're not getting up and walking inside both. For days. Yeah, it's like an injection that you have to put in your. Belly that has like fuck it stings like. Yeah, no, I did not do that anyway. Yeah, I. Was just. Curious you guys emerge from the crowd, Bell looking tough in his armour and Rib miming bundling a duties. Board. Yeah, she was sitting on the stage going. You should be, you know. What are? They doing the only way you can describe them because no one can see us is like if you were going to mind tickling someone's balls.

Jesus Christ, so we can hear outside. People off that side, they. Probably care.

Your Prince has arrived. Hi.

Everybody. And we are here to put an end to the charlatans. Just to let him talk. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, my name is Prince. Goodness, the 90s. And I'm here to help. The Authority. With your problem, I I gather there's a problem in town and my friends and I are here to we're we're doing a bit of a tour and problem solving.

You're on my side. You know, I was just being in. The crowd. OK, who's this? Jackass. He kind of turns around and the guys behind him, there is one dude who's like a sort of like gangly looking guy and he's got a hood pulled up over his face almost. He's got, he's holding a Longbow. He's kind of like he's taking the string off and he's just kind of like leaning on it, popping himself up. There is a shorter looking guy, he's quite stocky, he has a scimitar. And then there's like a really like a cheap belt like.

If you bought me from Teamu, this is what you. Get yeah, he's got like hedge armour basically. He's like, he's got like his armour is quite big and bulky. It doesn't fit. Right. Yeah, it looks like he's like acquired it from different bits and pieces rather than actually having a proper set. But they're all kind of like smirking at you guys, the Prince and the big bulky armoured guy is kind of like eyeing Bell up, but the Prince is like. What what it is to be the? Problem here see the old man in the middle was like, well, we we're quite we're our herd has been installed from town.

We have quite heard of giant goats have been stolen. We're quite fond of them, quite proud of the breeds and they keep getting stolen as a. Fiend. A cattle rustler living just out of town somewhere. We quite afraid of him, not my friends here. And he kind of like gestures to them and they just Blair him. He they went to track it down. They found the herd. They found the lair of the cattle rustler, but they say they need more money to deal with it. I draw my long sword and I point it at the discount bell.

Return this villagers sheep, goats, sheep, goats, giant giant goats. Return this villagers giant goats. Stop. Placing these people. I think I think you need to roll my persuasion because. You've lost all your fucking authority. Disadvantage Livestock. He'll give you advantage because of his he's he's the Prince. He's got presence authority. I'm going to don't keep. Rolling seven that one yeah I'm I'm I'm half, I'm high. I cannot. I know I fucked up. I half wanted to tend to descend into a fight, but.

Yeah, he got these guys. The other guy guys laughed. He's like, yeah, no, that's not going to happen, man. It has a genuine question. Why do we have to stop and help every single fucking person that crosses our heart? The idea is that he just didn't understand phrases. I have a question. Why are we here, honey? Yeah, that's. Literally what we're doing well. Waiter, that is literally the game, right? Give it. If not me. Like. IK IK has a. Genuine question. When we get back to Annan and

and the Prince begins his journey, his ascension to King Hood, the surrounding holds will not pledge allegiance to him. If they do not know who he is, we have to make a name for him on our way back. So he has holds behind him when he becomes king. If you want the Prince to succeed, by all means. If you want pancreatitis to remain in power, which I want, then we don't necessarily have to be here. I'm going to level with you. Ick doesn't give a shit who's ruling. I'm pretty sure. Obviously. Isn't that bothered either?

But also I was laughing because I know Matthew's going to have to edit the start of that out because like I said, I've got a really sweaty back at strip and I know the microphone picked it up.

I didn't pick it up. I picked it up. Excellent heads up. That's going to be in there. You've got to listen for it. Yeah, I'm proving my worth. I guess so, yeah, my first and I will help with your good problem, right? The problem sounding right. There and proving that worth, I guess. And I look directly at the biggest guy and I go, why didn't you just get the sheep? If you know where they are, why haven't you just got them? I'm not going to tell you exactly why because I think it none of your business.

OK, cool, I'm going to use flame. Cool. So cool. So my slither no. Set them on fire. Let's just say that the the term contract changed when we saw who was taking. Can I see your contract? It's more of a verbal thing. Well, then it's null. We were here, we were at the bar and yeah, so man here came in and asked us if we could help. I don't think they're our problem. I think it's this old guy. So no, no, no, no. It's a it's a really good point. It's a really good point. They steal. They steal the livestock in the night.

Make but make believe that there's a big threat. Go to the town, the townspeople pay them off. They fuck off for half a day. Spend the money in a neighbouring village. Come back. Oh, we couldn't get your sheep because of AB and C? Give me more money, please. Yeah, this is this is obviously a scam. Where's the where's the his neighbours think he's head of a really weird farm council. Where's the where's the dude? You're clearly. Scared of them? Where does he live? Over the hills and far away. Make make.

Good intimidation check or a persuasion check? I would love to help but I've got I've got 9 in charisma. So intimidation more. You could actually give her bardic or something. You could just give her the help action or give her bardic inspiration or. Something, yeah. Or you could actually roll if you want to help. You're going to be way better. Yeah 20 3 They kind of like huddle up for a minute talking to each other I. Think I can take the big guy, You guys take the other two, but I think I can take the big guy.

I think we're getting ready for a fight. OK, well, we think they're going to fight us here. No, Clear the townspeople up. We'll fight them here. What are you guys talking about? What you guys are up to? I heard that the DM lost his boss.

I'm just trying to get closer to the Prince of methods. Now you see them, now you don't. I. That's going to be my mood now. Shut up. Yeah, it's good to have a physical joke. As you catch phrase of them, they turn around. I feel like hang on, if you edit the intro stick or the waffle out, we're just talking about your. Balls around No. One knows why. We're going to do the deep cut, which is just OK. The balls. Yeah. They can turn back around. They're like, fine, you are, you guys think you can do better, you go for it.

No, you said. Better.

I'll have a crack. OK. Have some more faith in yourself. Hick, come on, I'm going to roll for persuasion.

Yeah, I. Can't help that. I can't rally that. Yeah, I tell you what. And he pulls out like a little bit of parchment, scribble something down, hands it to to Belga. It's a it's a map to where we found the the herd. You want to crack at it? Go for it. We'll just your corpses. So what I'm hearing is this is where you've hidden the herd. Is that like a cave nearby? Yeah. Sending us a wild. Goose chain, Can I do an insight? Yeah, 16. Feels like. Something's going on, yeah. For sure. Like they're trying to fleece these guys for all they're worth, apparently, but they're quite happy to tell you where where the herd is.

Why don't, why don't you come with us in more better numbers, right? We just got back from from scouting the location. Ah, Petty, looks like we're going again. Sure, you have enough money to keep going. Make a intimidation or prescription check I. Can be very persuasive. Would you like me to roll? I have proficiency in intimidation is.

That 6 or 9. Hey. Nine, you can roll again 7, so I'll take the 9:00 but plus 610. 12 at 15. Again, they kind of just check glances. Shrug. OK, yeah, fuck it. What can we What? Not fine. Well, I will see you in a bit. Guys, we're going to deal with the problem. We've got some friends here. Just to be clear, we're not splitting the the bounty or anything so. Be clear, you won't have a bounty because you'll be dead.

I'm under my breath. What the charlatans mean to say is you will have your money back and your livestock returned. Yeah, you're welcome. And the crowds are like, yeah, yeah, OK, good. Yeah, great. Really come at this whole situation real like aggressive, you know, it's. OK, you got in with with energy. Yeah, get a deal with the problem. They haul their Pats onto their kit. Well, they they shroud with like, right, fine, whatever. Come with us. It's quite a a journey, so I hope you're willing to sleep out under the stars.

Yeah. You can move in that armour really. Yes, you just. Kind of like some Wuzzle, some so bad Star Wars animatronic.

Like why is it so thick? So you guys head out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be a day's walk of the of the track. It wasn't easy to find what we were looking for, so hope you're willing to camp. I've just realised that I have 20 strength well. That's good. Good.

Sorry, sorry. That's very. Exciting for you? Yeah, You guys are wondering through the world in this. You March for a good long time and the sun starts to go down. And I think between your two groups, you kind of argue over whether we should set up camp. Now it's getting dark. Maybe we should stop. And they're like, oh, yeah, if you guys want to stop, then go for it. Oh. My God. He's fucking no. By all means, if you want to continue walking through the night, you can take point. OK, yeah, OK, fine.

Fair enough. Yeah, we'll they. Have packs. Yeah, yeah, they've got adventuring shit with them. Fine. Yeah, We'll tell you what. We'll set up camp. We'll make a nice, nice big campfire. You guys have a nice sleep. We'll keep guards. No, no. Fine. 2:00 and 2:00 yeah, 2 of ours, 2 of ours and then switch over at dawn yeah, although. Switch over at dawn. What's the fucking? Point then. We'll make sure. Oh yeah, right. Yeah, You see which over during the night and then do what you carry on. Yeah. OK, so cheeky bastard, yeah.

He just wants a lion. One or two of ours, at least one of each of the group. The Prince put the Prince on the Prince. The Prince is no.

I think it should be the Prince. The Prince will be with me. OK, cool. I can take first watch, it's fine. OK, good. Yeah, I think we're going to take. We'll split the group into. One of each of us will take a watch with one of them, and the Prince will stay up with you. I'll take first watch. Will you take first watch? I'll take first watch on the Prince. Can you take that 2? Cool. Who's so you're going to split your watches with? One of them, I'll take the I point to Scimitar boy. Cool. And I go.

You're with me. I've got discount bell. Yeah, discount Bell you've. Got big bow? You got the gangly man. You guys set up camp, you find a little sort of like dried out gully between some hills, like a little stream dead thing gives you a bit of cover and set up a campfire, set up your sleeping bags and whatnot, have a nice delicious adventuring ration, pack dinner. I feed night light. Hey, it's. Real and like and then I like I had a communication the person who wrote in to us. When we did our session.

Has bought River Gift and we'll be currying over from Ireland. I don't know what the gift is, but I know that Riff has a gift coming and it's just reminded me because they pointed out that you haven't fed Night Light in a really long time. Does anyone want to offer their address so that people can send us stuff? I think would need a PO Box for that, but this person, this person I've given them, they have my address so that they can send rib a gift. By means listeners, if you do want to send us anything, contact we'll.

Figure it out, Yeah. Contact contacts us via e-mail and then we'll go from there. Western Union, or. We live on a working farm so we can't give our address. Yeah. It's bad and forward. Fucking Greenpeace losers. Anyway, you settle down for your first watch, I was gonna say. It's not really inappropriate or something. Bell sits down. Or directly opposite the fire. Going to the other. Side is. I'm going to analyse my arcane sword, it's a new weapon and I've not really looked at it yet. I feel like the Prince just sat like near the the cheap bell and he's just like really studying him and the guy's like side eyeing the Prince and the Prince is like looking up at him like bell has to like tell the Prince that that's.

Not him What? Look hard at the cheap metal and the rivets. Oh. Cool. This armour is decorative, yeah. So nice to have some armour I guess I bet.

What am I in? Yeah, I know. But then he looks down at his own bare. Chest we didn't get my little. Shield in a fucking toga. What does what is he trained in? Is it light armour? Yeah. I didn't have any stats to be fair. He doesn't understand one.

When we next go to town, I will buy you some honour. What happened to your chainmail that you were wearing before I? Don't think you. It's my bag. No, it's, yeah, it's I I do actually have it in my bag. Yeah, it's it's in my inventory. I don't. Think it's going to fit? Him if we're going to stop while we read it. What? Yeah, foam. Hat I have ick has the foam. He bought in a gift shop the foam hat that looks like the, you know, the Dome hats, like the metal. Stations. Oh my God, yeah. Foam Dome and the Prince is moaning about having any armour so I put fuck it's foam hat off all these sweets and give it to the Prince.

Where this for now? Thanks. He's got like that classic sort of wide brimmed ancient Greek armour helmet like you see like purses wears in like the vase paintings and stuff. Oh, I, I hand and I hand off my chain mail for my back, for my, for my backpack. Thanks, Val. Thanks. I really appreciate that. I don't have anything else to give you weapon wise, No, I've got a, I've got. A. Dagger. I gave him a dagger, he's fine

thanks. I didn't give a mate though. That's one of my daggers names. That's the one. Picnic. Picnic. Guy just sat there. It's not early. Your pets really cute by the way.

The drunk? Yes, yes, yes. He's not. Talking about night like babe I was. Talking about him, I was talking to the see your name was Prince. Yeah. Yeah, you're Amos, formerly known as Prince. Yeah, you're a little pet, Dad. You're super cute. It's called sword shit. Very, very intimidating. The Prince is like, Oh yeah, we're asleep in the background there in fucking karate I feel like. Really good. Is this Harlan take a swing? At me it. Wakes up to take a swing at the Prince. Everyone wakes up just to hit the Prince.

We form a chain. Are we going to have problems on this joint venture while we discover that you've actually been fleecing this poor town? It's. Us so props. Dude, what to tell you when we get when we get to the location, you'll see the problem. I hope you feel big enough to I'm. Staring at the problem right now. Sure, sure. Make a perception check. OK. Also also what I'm making like what? What do you use to calm down? Is that constitution you?

Just take. I just want.

To party, I'll tell you I may. What inside check? Perception. Perception 10/10. I'll speaking back 11. Sorry, 11.

I slowed. The X you'll hear it when. You listen to it back, we're having a sleepover. Fuck off ribs. Mum said it was OK. Boasting and posturing aside, what experience, what combat experience have you actually got? What are we actually walking into? Well, we had to fight a few passive nose the first time while we were searching for for the for the HUD. It'll be quick now that we know where it is. Now we know where it is. It's easy to get to, but you still want to keep your voice down. Oh, OK, cool.

You've seen a no before, the no before. No, no, I haven't. No, I have not. Yeah, they're vicious. They're demonic. Essentially. They're like fucked up hyena people. Guess what we're fighting today? Some of. Us hit our demonic. Yeah, but you're having a chat with Vick in a sleeping bag. I relish the challenge. There are there are hyenas. You got into my sleeping bag. There are with a hyena with a hyena. I'm sorry, that's a hyena. Well, a hyena. Dies, but its soul was corrupted, didn't come in. Your ravenous creatures prowl the planes.

Genuine question, who is corrupting hyena souls and why? How does a hyena song get corrupted? Yeah. Nobody has the answers to that question. Cool, I just thought I'd check you might know so. But you can make a check if you want. Are you awake to roll? No, then should RIP. Turn me down. I think she's given mixed signals. They're corrupted by ancient God. The original Knowles fed on flesh of creatures from the abyss during the Titanomici. But what? Holy shit you guys know anything? Kind of teriyaki.

Flavour to it I do. You know what the Titanomicon was? Yes, I. Think it says the. Teriyaki though, but not in game. At least I don't believe I do make. A religion or history check or something, It's like. We're not, We're asleep. Sorry, Yeah, it's got nothing to do with you. Yeah, 11, so I know the basics. Yeah, so Tynomicy was essentially? God, it's the war of the Gods, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. It's how the gods current gods current pantheon kind of got their place. So you had primordial beings which were Gaia were on us, the earth in the sky essentially.

They didn't really get on for various very fucked up reasons. They had children, such as Chronos. Chronos married Rare, his sister. They gave birth to gods. Chronos met with the Fates, who told him that one of his children would be the source of his downfall. He decided the only way to get around that was to eat his children when they were born. It was a different time. Rare his wife. Bell leans into the Prince, but on the shoulder. It's just a story. It's OK. It's pretty scary.

Rare. Concealed Zeus hit him away. Fed Cronus in Boulder instead, he ate the bolder Zeus got older and eventually waged a war against his father. Control of the universe. It's where a lot of the monsters and. What you're saying is. Creatures came from. Along came Zeus and called Thunderbolt. Yeah. It's got chaos in its tracks. Yeah. Oh shit. Like I've. Seen this? It's not this play. You're quite vast in the in in the ancient beast theory. I like to know my enemy. Have you ever come across a creature known as the Qatar?

No, no. I do not know their histories or the the origins of them. I just know that they are a fish. They are a fish like humanoid people that worship that also worship an ancient God. They took out a They kidnapped a village fish. People that sound gross, they're nearly as scary as like giant hyena. People don't. Know they're quite gummy.

Gummy man. God. Sound effect. I know we're asleep. I just, yeah, let that one go. That's a kid sleeping bag with roots. Yeah. We're listening. Are we cuddling? Yeah. Like, are you definitely ick? Like, did his charisma went through? No, it's just really cold. Oh, it's got to be consensual. What do you know of? Suddenly. What do you? What do you know of the ancient the ancient God goddess Shiraz? Never heard of that. OK, conversation goes down. He has nothing to offer. I have nothing to share. Your watch ends, go to bed, you wake up, Riff and the short singer time in.

Riffen, you've got to wake Riff up from inside X sleeping bag. Yeah, you go over to Riff sleeping bag, she's not working. We would chat well. We're going to have a conversation about. This later? Oh shit, hey, that's. What your mom said to us. Friends are allowed to sleep in the same bed. OK, It's normal. Oh my God, really? I thought. You were hooking up with my uncle. What is? What is this? Uncle. Flashback to an earlier episode. When you dressed up with his uncle, Oh yeah. I mean, to be honest, it's pretty ballsy and he doesn't mind the competition.

Fair enough. Also ribs going over neither. And what's the dragon lady so? That's she's with there. It's not going. To stop trying. Slides aggression. I've had numerous requests actually from people who have listened to the show for artwork of characters and things in general, but specifically, and I've had a lot of requests for artwork of lager practise. We get it, we get it. Honestly, it's all up here. If anybody wants to send me some drawings of the Hot Dragon Lady, go for it. If you want to send some more sort of adult.

Cartoons of lager practise and we. Would have sent them directly to Alex. We'd like, we would love to. See some some. Some artwork would. Be cool of our character, yes, not some. Deviant fan art, yes. For the three of you listening, if any of you can draw, we'd love. Something, well, if you. Don't do Deviant Art, the Prince, because that would be messed up. He's a child. He's. Alone. I thought we. Decided he wasn't a child. He was 18. Yeah. No, he's not. He's like 1516. He's a way child. He's on the cusp of manhood.

I mean, perfectly legal for the time period, don't worry. Absolutely not having this discussion. Yeah, no. If, if anyone and if. 3 listeners want to send us a fan out that. Would be great. Yeah, do it anyway. You wake up, Yeah, you take your spot by the fire directly opposite. It wiggles around in the sleeping bag like a little worm. It whimpers and shivers. Yeah, yeah. Night light sits on your shoulder. You sit opposite the opposite. The short stack man scimitar. I just. She's there. So long, like I get a really, I get like really low, put my hands on my knees and I just glare.

And start. Imitating he's. A tickly ball. Start that bundle motion.

I you need to stop that, it's not OK. I, I, I'm like, so what's your, what's your deal? Then what's your I leave the. Party. You leave the party, you're the leader. It's. Hitting on you. What's that supposed to be? Whatever you say, shortstop.

How dare you? He stands up. You can't tell what's. My father. Perception. Perception 16. He stands up kind of like. What the fuck?

You're lucky to do shit out in the dark we need to look out for. I come from, I come from hell, my dude. You take a lot to scare me.

You say that a a spear sores into your little camp and lands in the fire. Spreads embers everywhere I was. Just in your. Bulgasaur, I know my little 3D printed Bulgasaur dice. I came with AI bought, you know, you know, you get those like adverts on Facebook which are like 5 million dice for free because we're going out of business. Yeah, I, you know, seek to prey of drunken state decided I was going to do that. And then when I woke up and got the e-mail saying you've done you've bought 1000 dice or whatever because I wanted to fill my suitcase.

I was like fuck that's obviously a scam, it's clearly a scam, obviously it's a scam what the fuck was I thinking? Anyway it came and I got 1000 random dice things and a little bobsle stack. I. Love that. Anyway a. Spin sores into your camp. Hits the fire. Flaming logs and sparks shoot across the camp, waking everybody up. Roll Initiative. OK. No, I'm still asleep. Do. You mean you're No, everyone's awake. No, no, not with that number. No, no, no. Just. Is it that one? This one. Three, I'm still asleep.

1521. 21. Sleep. That would. Oh mate, fucking discount belt really pissed me off with that fucking pet thing. Oh man, I can't wait to see his ass fall in combat. Oh no, I think I might accidentally fucking hit you with my fucking weapon ability. Bell had barely gone to sleep, but he wakes up. You stand up, make a perception. No, No 5, Cool. He's tired. He's got a little bit of sleep in my eye. Yeah, you're out in the wilderness, so you got a lovely star of sky above you, but you can hold your action so that when something comes you can attack it.

So you can throw a javelin or string sword or something if you want rather than because you've gone like you got really high in the initiative, but the thing attacking. Is hiding and I can't find it. OK then I yeah, yeah. I draw my arcane sword and I guard the Prince. Well, thanks, Bell. First off 3 Spears and flying into the camp one at Riv, one at the guy who is with Riv and then one of the hell because he reached it up. So Riv oh they just have bows. I take it back. It wasn't a spear, it was an arrow.

Another arrow gets 14 to hit Riv. That's. My Armour class. Yeah, 5 damage to Riv, it's only a nine to hit the other guy, so that's going to work. And then to hit Bell fucking 5 again. Jesus Christ. Nope. So Riv gets an arrow but the others miss. That's annoying. One comes running into the camp and it sees an arrow strike Riv and he goes to rend Riv. So it gives me like attack bite or something other way. This is rend. How close as he? Runs through to camp, yes. Yeah. So you can take a swing at. It yes I can.

This is yes, yes I do. And this is a type of opportunity. Yep, because it runs straight past you. 8910111213. 13 still doesn't it? Fucker, but I'm. Well it rolled like a six or something to attack anyway, so it misses. Can I use action search to try again? Yeah, go on in. Fuck it. Yeah, technically. How that? Works. There we go, 21. 21 definitely here. Cool. So yeah, as it runs past, it runs through the camp, aiming at rib, who's clearly been hit, struck by an arrow. You take a swing at it, it kind of ducks under your sword, but then you kind of like swing back and catch it in the backspin.

Do. You fuck. Up. Are you doing that two handed or one handed? 216 in total and because it hit and I it was a part of the Sentinel feet. Your speed is now 0. Nice, so actually it doesn't attack rib, it stops swing at you. Wait, so it didn't? Play what does SAP do? Like we just disavowed on this next attack world. Nice. So that it swings at Bell. The 17 hit bell. That does not happen. God God damn it.

That's the dolls as turns and as as you do that you see like from your side of the camp, this attack is coming. There is more novels coming from the other side of the camp. The other guys get up, raise their weapons and start fighting the knolls in tandem. OK, on the other side of where the fire would be. RIP, you're up. OK, so how many knolls are there? So 3 arrows came out of the bushes, but there's one in the camp directly ahead of you. OK. Cool, does he still look OK or does he look? Oh, it's quite hurt.

It's quite hurt. OK, then. All right, we'll go for Yeah. Would you like chromatic? Ball. And I'm going to use two sorcery points to make it a bonus action Nice. So I'm going to cast that first. So that's I'm going to do acid. That's 15. That's 89101112131415161718 I. Fucking know it comes. So this arrow strikes you in the shoulder. This slathering, howling, cackling hyena creature comes sprinting out of the bushes, waving it's fucking clawed hands around. Ducks in a swing from Bell, but it's Bell swings around, catches it on the backswing, it stops to look at him and then his ball of acid, just it just Borderlands style, just dissolves into the ground.

Loser. Oh. He's very dead. Oh well, I was gonna oh, shall I do my not there. Just. Fucking off to someone theory all. Around. Again. Yeah. Right, you roll AD 20 to see if it. Oh, Jake.

Right. When does she ever already 20? It's happened twice. Yeah, and I can't force it. So when you get, when you get bored. Of chaos and then just like, see what happens. How chaotic are you? That's not a bad idea. I don't have any reason to use my action, so can I hold the action for when one comes? Out. Yeah, the reaction, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can hold a reaction. Yeah, I'm going to hold my. Action Cool, cool. Until another one comes out of the I can see it. Coming out of the bushes now are two huge giant, like giant hyenas.

Yeah, so he's like wolf looking creatures again, like dropping from your fucking mouths, like hot, like high arched back. They come barrelling into the camp, yelping and snapping. I guess you guys are standing if he's still in his fucking sleeping bag. So that was going to go for Riff. Do I use my reaction? Then. You can cool as they come running into the camp. I'm going to pass. I cast Sorcerer's Burst. Cool, cool. At the first one that came out of the forest. The one on the net. And it's gonna be fire.

That is a 12/30/14 and that's.

Just just a cheeky DA that's 6. The one that you just hit goes for you, OK? Yeah. The other one goes for belt, the one going for rib gets a 14 to hit no. No. Oh yeah. Sorry, nice try. The one going above, definitely. Just it's when it's when like the DM goes that's 28 to hit and you're like sure, it doesn't hit obviously. Yeah, 14 is 1, 10 damage. 10 damage. 10 damage and it's going to rampage. So immediately after dealing damage to a creature that's already bloodied, the hyena can move up to heart speed and make one more.

Point. Wait, hold on. Oh, wait, wait, hold on. This is in the first attack was in melee Ranger. Yeah. Oh. A type of opportunity. You can only do one no. It doesn't say that oh because you because it's Sentinel. Any creature that disengages or attacks someone else. But then 5 feet of me I can take an attack of opportunity without AS. A reaction or anything. You get one reaction, but then your first attack wasn't a reaction, your first one was using your held action. Yeah, so you could still use baby.

Hold on guardian, immediately after a creature within 5 feet of you takes the Disengage action or hits a target other than you with an attack, you can make an opportunity attack action against that creature. Says nothing about taking a long rest or having or making it be a reaction. Yep. Fair enough. Whenever is OK. Yeah. So that one bites rib so you can take an attack at it. 15. That hits. On base without the fucking bonuses, that's D10 or 2D10 because it's two handed 10 points of dimensions on and suck, but there's.

Disadvantages. Next attack. And the speed is also NO0I. Was already standing next to anyway, but it's now attacking at a disadvantage with its rampage. Ability. 13. Thanks for. That.

Everyone. Go behind me. Right then you see standing sort of like at the top because you're in like river bed appearing at the top. Another novel he would he's bigger. He's holding a whip and some javelins and he's he's got a big scar over his eye. He looks really, really mean. I gave him. One to match. It looks at oh, we're. Just. Sleeping through all of. That you just you just haven't had your turn yet. You're up next.

It's going to use insight Rampage. Noel Tiger is another creature you can see within 60 feet itself as a rampage. But this action, which target can take a reaction, it's going to use that to attack you. You just hit. Yeah, he's going to what? A. Fucking. Fork. God damn it does nothing. He's annoyed. He sees a leader attack you. He feels like you're the threat, so he starts wandering down. He throws A javelin at you. It's a fucking fork. Hell, I suck at. This. Oh shit. Change your dose. OK. Professor But he walks into the cab and he starts whirling this thing around and he has a bone whip.

OK, so I guess the handle was made of a bone and then it's got a whip. Unless it's like a scullet, like a like a spine. Maybe. Oh yeah, it looks in the picture like a spine. Terrifying. OK, that's kind of cool. Yeah, he's going at you with that. Bring it, he's going to miss hey. Fights, You're up. You just woken up in the shower of sparks. Hyena monsters have come charging into the camp. Bell has been dominating. Bell has cut one down, one near your steers has exploded in a shower of acids pretty bad.

So there's two actual hyenas, but then there there is a big beastly motherfucker that just tried to lash Bell. You're gonna make him sleep. So what does he do? OK. He makes a wisdom say. He makes a wisdom say so. I've got you make a wisdom. Say I rolled a 20 though. I rolled 8/2. Because I can't roll. For shit. So he's asleep. Now he falls. Asleep, for fuck's sake. I'm gonna use Mantle of Inspiration. Cool. What does that do? It something of bardic. Yeah. So you roll a bardic dice, No? Yes. That's a bardic dice.

That's just that's your what you would use for bardic inspiration. So D6. 6. Hit points equal to two times the number rolled on the Bardic Inspiration Diet, and then can use its reaction to move up to its speed without provoking opportunity attacks. So we hit 12. So you get 12. Hit points and then plus 12 speed so I can now move up 42 feet. Just you can just use your reaction. So you can't move anyway because you use the reaction. I don't need to. But you can move up to your speed away. Dope. Yeah.

See, that's pretty good, isn't it? And also you're you wake up, you're like what the fuck I'm trying to sleep the Knoll pack Lord guy falls asleep on the ground. You then, like you cheer yourself for being really useful. Everyone gets 12 hit points because they're so inspired. That's a good time, I know. Everybody. Yeah, right. Now you're up, right? My impact Lord is asleep. He's. Attacked. He will probably wake up. The hyena that's more damaged? Yeah. That one's attacking Riv. Yeah, yeah. Where's the one that's got full health?

It was attacking you. It was attacking. Me, Yeah, OK, cool, cool, cool. I don't need. I don't need to play with. His teeth. It's just a high unit. I don't. Need to like, I don't need to like move or manoeuvre myself like at all because you're within like, yeah, as long. As you don't move, yeah, you're in a good position, yeah, all. Right. OK, cool. I'm going to attack the one that's attacking me, 1618. Yep, that would hit. 15. 15 damage. 15 damage. You fuck up that high. And then it has SAP or HIGH.

Units right? They do not know what there is, what they wanted to. The nose. Turns stay. Say nose are hyenas. The hyenas are in the camp. Nose are still high. There's nose hiding in the bushes. And then there's a big knob. They who's now in camp on the floor, asleep. Yeah, they launch an arrow at each of you, one each. So riff, say 17 to 16 to hit. I'm going to go down 15 to hit. You do have 12 temporary hit. Points. Oh, I do, yes. Thank you. Ick, it's an 11 to hit. My arm. Your armours defect something.

It went up one but we started the session. It was on 11, but yeah. Fixed it so I just about. Never have. The other arrow isn't fucking 11 to hit bell God damn it. So these arrows come flying over, one hits rib, 410 damage. So you've got plus you've got +2 left. Yeah, I'm going to replenish some of those bonus head points on my next time, guys. Riv is your turn. Do you have any curatives? It's fine, I know what I'm going to do. You each have one healing potion at the moment I think. I'm fine. You can probably do 20 and try to escape to a theory or realm.

What I'm going to do it's. Just how you look then. You can't do it. I am going to. Tonight, Adrian, I'm going to be. OK, I'm going to OK, OK, OK, I know I'm gonna do. I know what I'm gonna do. So I'm gonna bonus action Misty Step and I know that fucks up your Sentinel, but also they keep hitting me and I'm going to do it down. No, no, I'm gonna chromatic or them roll with Ties of Chaos and I'm just gonna do it at disadvantage. OK. I roll flat so I don't have disadvantage on it and.

Doesn't fucking hit is what that is. What was it? But it was 345678. OK, yeah, no, the hyena Dodge was it? Yeah, the form of whatever acid. Well, you can. They it can then because you use Tides of Chaos to negate the disadvantage you roll. 33. Yeah, you have resistance. To all damage for the next minute. Whoo. So you're bitches. Nice. That's exactly what I needed to. Thank you Chaos gods. Yeah, right. So yeah, you throw a Kuratic or a hyena but it misses. But then you feel like a glittering shield appear over you.

That is the hyenas turn. Deus Ex machina, you don't get to die today. First one is attacking Bell, it rolled A2 so that's shit. Fucking. That's going so shit and roll above 4 on it guys and then the other one's going to attack Riff. Yeah, she didn't. Misty, step away. I'm still sending a wage baby. Fuck me, there's a lot of shit that's a 19 and a fucking. 20. My God God damn it. Flat roll on 17. I know that hit that four 7 + 512. 12. That hyena is looking properly fucked up. It's questioning its life choices.

Look at the ones that's hitting me and I spit some blood and I go hit me again. Do it I'm. Not sure I want to. Do it. That's the pack Lord. He's. Beth Dutton. Of you pack, Lord makes the Wisdom save rolls a. Fucking. Too. So he's fully asleep now. He's. Out of it, he's only. I think he only wakes up if he gets attacked.

Straight up asleep. That's X turn. Fucking hell, so. You've got a couple of hyenas, One of them is properly fucked up. You could probably insult it to death.

It's not a spell. Your vicious mockery is a can trip, so you can do that just as your action. It didn't cost the spells a lot. It rolled A3 on its wisdom save. Let's go in the box as well. This nice. Aqua. Marine dice. It's very nice. Curse dice. Cursed things, right? So you make a you do AD 6 of damage. 1. It's still. Alive Jesus. It's getting deep. Up to you. Know. Parking. Anything. Else no bonus actions or anything. No, sorry. Cool. Let's background to Bell again. OK, superiority die using a manoeuvre.

I'm going to be using rally as my bonus action and I'm targeting Riv. Fair enough. Riv you get 10. You getting plus 10 temporary HP You're welcome. And then I and then I attack the hyena in front of me heads that kills 151515. Yeah, it's. Dead the. Nose, right? They're going to shoot arrows again on the riff. It's a 15 to hit. Right in the heart. 4 damage, so you've still got. Weak. That. I cannot be killed on this day. One on bell fucking seven and one on it crusty. I was like, I fucking love this armour.

A 16 to hit a Grassley. That hits. That hits one damage, so 2 damage. Scathing. Ow. Make a concentration check if they're all A10 is that? A6 or A9? Would it be a nine? Your constitution is +1. Is. That a six or a nine, that's six, that's six, that's. Seven. So the null pap Lord wakes up. Yeah. I'm not even worried.

That's the nose. Rib, you're up. Cool. You're resistant to damage for the next minute. Yeah, I am so. You've got another 9 rounds of that. Perfect. How you're attacking you has got one hit point or the pack Lord on the floor. OK, sick. I'm going right, right. Fuck you. I'm going to use. I'm going to use Quicken spell and I'm going to cast which bolt at the big guy. Fair enough. First. We'll just wait for the high. Need to attack you? It's final killer. I was. That's one. Give me a minute. I think that's.

The plan? Right, I'm going to fuck it. Let's do it. I get advantage. Or is that straight 6? That's 131415161718 hit. Beautiful. Hey, look at that. And you know what? Bounce it up to a I'm gonna cast it at level 2. Nice. Gorgeous. 2 nines and a 12. I don't even know what that is. 3030, thirty damage. Gorgeous. That hurt a lot. I'm gonna roll. Your magic thing. Magic thing that is an 8 the. Image in the new book of Witch Bolt being cast is pretty bloody, yeah. Is that witch? Bolt. That's witch Bolt.

Yeah, that is fucking sick. That's amazing. Eight. Yeah. A creature that is friendly toward you appears in a random, unoccupied space within 60 feet. Roll 1D4 to determine the creature. 4. But it's but it's friendly to you. So you cast you cast witch bolt at this fucking dude and it's it's like a Dragon Ball Z Kamehameha wave, whatever like this blue flash onto his chest fucking fries him. He's still standing, but he's really hurt. And there is a as the flash hits this thing, there is more of a sort of a radiant like spark that comes out and in your camp a Unicorn appears Rainbow Maine pearlescent sparkling horn.

I've. Never done that before. And it looks terrified it's going to roll on initiative. There was a 19 on initiative does. That fucking mean. This is what I ordered. This is what I got. Oh my God. OK, let me look up the steps. In Unicorn but. Yeah, that's that's your turn. Anything else? Does. Yeah, sure. Is the Unicorn friendly to you? Like is this? Controlled by me, which is why I'm looking it up. How do you spell Unicorn? I go, I go, guys, this guy's. Chill, this guy's chill. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, he fucking knows.

And then I'm also gonna. Ask it Sorcerer's Bus you got. It I was gonna do it to the guy in front of me and just get rid of him. 1720 something that is the guy in. Front of me, the hiatre in front of you, Yeah. He's. Dead. Don't worry about damage. He's dead. Fucking hell. OK, the Hiaters did. It's the pack Lord's turn. He's going to use his turn to stand up.

No, you can attack Connie's. It's next to you guys. He's going to see if he gets his rampage back. He doesn't. He's going to use his multi tech. He's going to use his bone whip to attack you. Fucker. No, Riv fucked him up. It put you to sleep and then riv like did most damage. It's. Good to attack Riv. Also, he's got which bolt attached to him, yeah. Fucking 10 on the first attack. So that's what it is. Oh yeah. 13 beautiful and it's, I think, hold on. 13 doesn't. Hold on, hold on, hold on. 13 plus something, yeah.

13 pluses. Unicorn do. Something 15. We're not 16/17/18. 1921. Where am I? Oh my God. I don't like this. 21. Yeah, Oh, here. Oh, it's so good as well. 16. Fucking kills him. 17/18/1921. Oh my God with. His bone sort with.

Rib. Cuts his fucking hand off. Just an upswing, just lots the fucking hand off as it as it swings out at you. No more, No more arrows come firing into the camp. I turn to I turn to a discount bell. This is what you're afraid of? This is your big demonic scary hyena trapped soul monster thing. Dude, is that a freaking Unicorn? Yeah, it is.

The session. All right, lesson learned today, kids. Sentinel is Opie. Fucking wild if we're doing that wrong. Then it makes sense. That's fucking. Insane because especially because you guys pretty much exclusively, we'll just stand next to each other as well. It's just my life, some of us. Some of us tried to missed yourself. But no please. My. God, we keep dealing damage.

Wow. OK, that was. Christ. Right in there. Jesus. Thank everybody for listening. Don't forget to like, subscribe, write, share with your friends. A few people have spoken to me at work saying that they've shared it with people they know and they've come to me and told me they've listened to it and they're enjoying it. They keep telling me the audio is a bit shit, which I think we're getting better at now. We're still waiting for someone to buy us a microphone. I lost my job. I thought you were getting.

Money for that that you were going to spend on microphones rather than. Like pay my bills. Rental fucking excuses anyway. Microphones are coming in a fashion. We'll get some microphones to. A theatre near you I am. If you could steal them from a theatre and give them to us that would be ideal. Worry about that at a late date. I've got 5 minutes to go and get Sam from school for now. Like rate, subscribe, tell everyone about us if you want. If you can draw, send us your fan art. Yes, send us fan art of lag fracs and rib canoodling at the nightclub Hell.

Yeah. It can rib canoodling in a point in a sleeping bag. E-mail them to 60 Live [email protected]. We're coming ever closer to my birthday and therefore my charity marathon thing. I'm not looking forward to it. Roof ran 1/2 marathon the other day. Yeah, she did. Very well, but it does, don't you worry, getting left for dead. However, I promise to take it very seriously once once I'm there. So yes, I've raised 350 odd quid so far and so I appreciate everyone who has helped to support that. It's for Alzheimer's Society, a charity that supports people with Alzheimer's and the people who support people with Alzheimer's because it's a shit life.

Rejected 10 of my job applications. Now.

Because they listen to the podcast and they know who you want. Yeah, that is. We don't want. Wi-Fi as much as I'm fucked,

yes. Until next time. Oh my God. I.

Just realised something. Yeah, I could see that.

Tapping, tapping the table, waving his arms in the air.

I think we're going to, yeah. You just cut it out.

You already said it, so it doesn't help. So if they listen, they'll hate me, although it's a compliment. Really. I'll probably cut it out. Good. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Get it together.

Panatheon 20: Discount Bel

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