Strahd 9: Zombiecide

0:01 In a. Land plucked from time and space, surrounded by a fog that lets not escape. Be wary every adventure for the dangers hidden in every corner. To the castle you must go to throw an ancient evil on your own. But cautiously, he knows you're coming. He smells the flesh blood you're carrying. Trust no one in this land of twilight and you might survive to see true sunlight against all odds. If you prevail heroes true, they will sing of you to end your tale. But if you fall have live. Your soul is now trapped high atop a mountain peak sits right above key.

0:45 It's grand old doors open. But you an invitation so tarry not. There should be no delay. The master awaits you this day. Welcome Lords, ladies, nobles and stars. Prepare your spirits to be marred as we enter the class of Stroud. Welcome everyone to Is that A6 or A9AD and D podcast by idiots.

1:13 I'm sorry, an idiot. What type of podcast? An idiot AD and D podcast, I'll have you know. OK, good. OK, let's make sure we covered that. I'd like, I'd like to think at this point in time that people wouldn't know. Episode 9 of Season 2? Who knows? It might be new. It might be new. This might be the episode that I upload to the Internet and tell everyone about the episode. God. We'll be a fast. We'll be a nice fast. I just feel like that episode should always be bees. Yeah, I need to upload that at some point.

1:43 Bees is everything anyway. Hello. Housekeeping, how has everyone been? It's been a week since we were last here. I'm good, I am doing a diploma and I have a job interview for a job that I really really want. Get up to anything, I'm pretty chill. OK, fair enough. Been a busy week. But hi stuff, I was actually looking at the analytics for some of our stuff last night, like some of our episodes and what the fuck is that? It's the siren. It's the air, the air, the air raid siren going off. Yes, this happened last week, yeah.

2:19 Anyway, I I was looking at the analytics on Spotify and like our listenership and stuff and it's mostly me, but we're like 87% or something is UK fair enough. All the people I bullied into watching it live here there's 9% is Ireland, but then there's there's a bit that's America or the United States, which I think is someone you guys know yes. So Canada comes up OK, so we know someone in Canada and then there's like 1.2% of our listenership is in Poland and .9% of our listenership is in Russia. So Gendarbra to anyone from Poland and previous to anyone from Russia, but.

3:08 Yeah, God damn. Wow. 6 or 9 if you are. Learning English from us? Then what the fuck is wrong with you? That's some reach right there that. Is impressive. I can only assume that is from where I put one on Reddit and some randomer from Poland or Russia has heard it from there, but yeah. Not mad about it. Interesting is all I was thinking. I was expecting that. I was fully expecting it to be entirely located around the Norfolk area because that's where all the people that I bullied into listen to at work live.

3:41 Yeah, anyway. How's your week been? My week has been absolutely fantastic. I passed my theory test yesterday. Well done.

3:55 Finally. 4th time as a child as. I say famous. It's a well known saying. Excuse me. Sorry. So I am your host. My name is Carl. Let's go around the table with me today. I have Maria, who is. I'm normally first. Sorry.

4:19 I won't cut you off this time. I'm. Sorry, Yeah, Dick. I'm gonna let you finish, bro. I'm sorry. You cut me off as well. I was about to say something when you went anyway so and I'm like, I had literally started saying something. I locked eyes of Alex. Yeah, stop. Talking over. It I'm playing I didn't see that coming you traitor. Oh my God. Anyway, per coin to the bits jar I'm playing will be shady.

4:56 Mad course. Such a massive Dick. Such an asshole. You know this one time when we were kids we went what? Go on, introduce yourself. I was wondering. Where to a camping store. And he stuck his head for the balusters and they had to call the fire brigade to come and get him. And if that doesn't sum up Matthew, I don't know what does. Yeah, I don't know if that's a marker for the ADHD or the autism, but I'm using it in. By just a Dick. OK, cool. I'm a von Daniel. He who? It's going to take a really long time to get through this podcast if people keep talking over each other.

5:33 It's very hard. It's coming from you. Enjoy. Editing this Dick. Alex Sherman. Who's that? I'd like everyone to mute themselves first please. OK, cool. Well. I think that that will cause Matthew editing nightmares because it'll stop recording. Don't mute the fucking DM Jesus Christ that's all I fucking need. I think the I thought it was the last episode of the episode before. Might be the one I just put out, can't remember. There's a bit where I somehow end up muting myself for like 5 minutes all.

6:06 That cool stuff, I said. I'm in. There, now I just think you remember looking down at my laptop and like seeing the flat line of my screen and be like fuck fuck fuck fuck anyway. Who you playing? Oh my God, are we still doing the introduction? Fuck. Yeah, you cut her off. Malice Enfield.

6:30 Who's still blind? Who is still blind? Yes, still. Cursed.

6:36 That's not going to change anytime soon. Just kill. The priest. It heightens my other senses, so it's fine. Yes, she's twice as bitchy. So do we remember what happened last week? Oh, because we're in the house. I could do some. I could do the background music for the recap from Halo. Did You Know?

7:05 The recap yet? No.

7:09 A bit of quick recap. I don't know what happened. I haven't headed there yet. All right, so last week, last time on DND, Will came back to life after making a deal with Strad, and he also got his childhood dog Matchstick. Matchstick poor. Oh, it's just remembered what happened, Yeah. And when he came back to life in his new vampiric thrall form, he took a bite out of the priest, who then kicked you guys out of the out of the church. So you were no longer able to help Irena and her brother Ismark Berry, their father.

7:52 So you failed that quest. To make matters worse, you then antagonised the priest even further, who then locked the door and in a fit of despair let out his son Doru. So who The Who then attacked the priest and then he died. I want to make one thing very clear. There was 1 catalyst. Yes, there was. We all know who is to blame, but we're no one's pointing Fingerhouse. Keep everything calm. But it didn't go to work. This is actually the previous episode. This is the episode I also I'm in the middle of editing.

8:31 After hearing the fight in the church, Irena and her brother Ismark came to investigate and they saw Will over the dead body of the priest and Doru. So that's another failed quest on for you guys. Not my future. Wife also you had like didn't you have like 1 XP? You think? You think as the DM might take bad notes? It's up. It's up here. It's up here. Yeah. So you left Borovia in disgrace with the the dead priest in your wake. Malice still blind because she wasn't able to receive holy curing for her curse.

9:17 Yeah, again though, if he was going to make me pray to the normal form, moreover, probably a good thing, no offence. You fled Borivia into the forests and Will was getting used to his new shadow form as well as having a little mini panic attack freak out about it. That's the fact that. Someone's always following me. Yeah, it's matchstick. It's fine.

9:51 And in the in the woods you stumbled across 6 Strad zombies. Oh shit, yeah, because we were going to just try and be quiet while they walk ahead of. Us, as far as I'm aware, as far as I'm aware, all of you as a based, as a party, you did pass the stealth check. Yeah. It just means we get advantage on our first attack that wasn't that we're there. I think we can pick 6 zombies. Oh, also, you levelled up to you. We are a little. Fat I it doesn't matter if I heal because they didn't attack on me where my Max hit points are 15 no matter what I do.

10:30 After a rest, after a long rest, it goes back. To yeah, but we haven't had a long rest, so my hit points are 15. I think we can take, I think. Why have you got the Irish? What the fuck? Why? I think we can take a couple of zombies. I. For sure, for sure. I'm sure I can't do a lot on attack because I can't get sneak attack because I can't get advantage because I'm already on a disadvantage because I can't. It really sucks to be malice, huh? Doesn't it? I feel like we can take a bunch of zombies. It would.

10:56 Have been fine if the priest was alive. Well, you've never been nice to me, so you didn't deserve the priest. And you? She's never been nice to me. You. Think that's going to change? Now I tried. I tried with you. I gave you a present. Nothing's ever good enough for you. And so you get out of life what you put into it. Anyway, we're hiding in a Bush. We're looking at some zombies. To stop fighting Maris. Maris, I think I can take zombies OK. I'm feeling pretty comfortable. I've levelled up, I get a second.

11:30 Attack. I've levelled up. I'm looking pretty competent. I've levelled up. I might just take a take a shot at one of them and see what happens. I don't. Think they would? Be there. Zombies aren't. There I think I can take zombies. You've got. I've fought zombies in the past. And they'll be undead, so radiant wall you have radiant. Wall, yes, I could do second Flame. Yeah, it's not very good. I'd rather just shoot them, but I can't do it. Oh wait, if we're level 5 it already does a 2D8I. Don't know.

11:59 Yeah, I wasn't looking for you. You're looking at me. I was like, I do not have the answers. I didn't realise when I killed the priest because nobody told me that that just meant she was cursed forever. That's not true. I'm in the middle of editing that episode and you come to life and he says, oh, you feel hungry. You're like, OK, well, I'm going to bite the priest. And we sit there and go, no, no, you can't do that. And while we're saying no, you can't do that over the top of our protestations, you go, I rolled a net 20.

12:27 The last like 4 sessions is you explain that the cast can't be done done unless it's undue curse or whatever it is. So I might have been in the toilet when you were having all those. My endo was flaring last time. I'm really sorry. We'll get you cured. Too fair. We'll get you to actually kill the priest. Dora, who killed the priest? But yeah, you. Wouldn't have done that had you not failed. We wouldn't have been in that situation. I was hungry. It was viral. I'm really sorry. Anyways, we killed these, Yeah.

13:01 Should we kill these zombies? Sure are. We going to do anything before we attack the zombies? Are we just going? To hide malice in the bushes really fucking well. Still here?

13:11 OK. Do you know what direction you're aiming in? Matchstick you summon. Oh, I summon Matchstick. He's already with us, but.

13:23 He is now. You know, yeah, you can summon matchstick with Summon Beast. Yeah, you. Have him in a fight. Yeah, we're not. We weren't engaged yet though, were we? No, no, but you do it beforehand, and then you don't have to use an entire action in the. Fight to see, that's what. I'm thinking. OK, cool. Then I've summoned matchstick. OK. Who says?

13:47 I'm going to hide first. Good idea. Is there anything else you want to do before I shoot one of these zombies? Malice. That is a 20. Go ahead on. OK, I'm just going to shoot a zombie. Is everyone cool with that? OK, good. It advances because we're hitting. It's a dirty 20 to hit a zombie. Heads. Yes, it does 7 damage. As you fire your shot the the bullet blows apart the thigh of one of the zombies. Nice. And the zombie falls down and then gets back up and its leg begins to hop beside it. What the fuck?

14:22 Oh my God. Oh my God. Malice is in the vicious, like what's happening, like you're never gonna believe this. Malice can smell the rotting skin. 7th average. My sense is that heightened. Oh God, what's that? Stinks, right? Can I roll to attack now? 1616 hits. Yeah. Second attack rolled 1911. I felt like I was doing maths at the the designing table would start again. So the first arrow sticks into the hip of one of the zombies, but the second arrow blasts through the the pelvic. Bone and then it does the same.

14:57 Thing because there's someone beast that means the matchstick gets to attack immediately after me gets. To jump out. So I rolled for him too. Yeah, there'll be advantages as well because he's attacking for himself. Fuck's sake. So I rolled A7. Just 10. OK, just ten hit, ten hits. And I assume he's attacking the same target that you shot. Yeah, both pretty fucked up zombie now, right? It's pretty fucked up. Zombie magic leaps out from the from from the bushes. I. Do 2 attacks as well, don't I? Yes, but.

15:27 It's too late. Because I have advantage on it now. And as magic leaps out the Bush, he collides with the the neck of the zombie that you shot, and the zombie's head just rolls off. Cool. The zombie begins to sell like eyes begin to like dart back and forth and it starts to like croak and the arms start flailing starts to. Croak, OK, Roll, roll initiative.

16:02 OK. We get to roll it about this because we're surprising in there. It's like 6 zombies 18. So shit 24. That's pretty good going for seven. You can't see any zombies. I can again. I can hear him. I'm gonna hide so God damn quick. I'm already hidden, you can't see me. Well, your turn. Might I suggest using like your favourite fur or something or Hunter's mark? Don't have to roll anything but Hunter's Mark, we'll just cast it. You just cast it. OK, cool, I'm casting Hunter's Mark on this zombie. Is that the beheaded 1?

16:34 Sure. Yeah, I'm playing one. Don't want it I. Would hope so. This one zombie is better. 10 damage, then I get a second attack, right? Yes, okay, learning, I'm learning. I'll be a pro buddy. That zombie is not dead. Great, so my hunter Smart moves on to the next one. You can't move it now. Use your bonus action to cast it the first. Time. Okay, move it on the next 10 you can move it 15-5 damage. Then I get to roll for matchstick 30 to hit, then matchstick rolls AD 811. Yeah, so. The first arrow, So the arrow that you shot, how you dealt with the five damage on the second attack decapitated these Shard zombie and matchstick ripped off a leg.

17:16 He's a good boy.

17:20 So matchstick is now like playing with this leg that's flailing back and forth. He's a good boy. We love matchstick. No stress, no stress, no stress at all. I am going to jump out. Of my hide. But, and I'm assuming they're like there's like there's like trees and then we're in a maybe like a little bit of a clearing. And. I want to like make sure I'm. I guess we're losing 5 feet in one. You would roll. I just want to like come out of hiding basically. Yeah, you can do that. Like you can just stand up and come out of hiding.

17:58 Sorry, that's. Fine, I know you don't have to do it. You could just attack from stuff. Steve. I know, Steve. OK, no, you're right. Yeah, I don't understand why you would go to. Because I wanted to be within 5 feet. Right. Or an allies. Fucking forget it. I'm going to stay hiding. OK, I read it wrong. I'm going to peek out. Which is pointless. Which is pointless. You you pick up.

18:27 And then I go back and then I, I get a psychic blade and I'm going to try and hit one. OK, roll 2 all.

18:44 The OH. That's not OK. It missed the dish. You can roll again. I still got 14. Hits. Cool our. Curiosity, what wouldn't hit?

18:59 Well, I've rolled pretty badly and they've all hit, so it's. A cameras I'm well versed in fighting creatures like zombies. They only have 18 points. It's fine. That's an eighth image. I'm gonna go for the one that Ivan hit and then I'm going to bonus action use another one. So when you throw your first knife, you kind of just listening for like the combat and you hear matchstick and you hear well, fighting a little bit to your right. So when you throw it, you get this like in your minds eye, almost like you get this like ping.

19:35 You see trees and then you see the back of a zombie as the blade buries itself into its back and then it falls down. And like the last bit of like failing vision is the back of the like the like the perception of horizontal going viral. Sick fun. Love that, love it. And then, yeah, so 15. 15 heads 7 Which one? Same one. That's dead. Oh. Matchstick. She can't see. It's not her fault. Oh. Yeah, Matchstick 1. As you throw your second blade, the ping from the tip of the blade is a little bit horrid.

20:24 It's more of a right direction. You see Will and Matchstick fighting the like flying in close combat to a zombie. As the blade flies over matchstick, it buries, it buries itself into the shoulder and the blade kind of rips through, but then it loses momentum and kind of like spins into like nothing as it fades away. The last piece of vision you get is seeing the arm of the zombie cascade away from the body and it begins to like crawl zombies spawning attack. The one at the front left turns around and load begins to scream.

21:01 It does like a wild charge and the first thing that it sees, which just helps people on a matchstick. She wants to fuck off away from my matchstick. Wow. Yeah, it takes Will 14. My armour class is 15. OK so it goes to bike will misses but looks down and sees matchstick 10. Missed. 19. Are they all rolling to attack matchstick? This is just one they have three hits. What? Fucking hell. OK. Yeah, well, that hits matchstick. It does 4 points of slashing damage and then the second one hit the second one.

21:38 The one on the top right turns around, sees Ivan, goes for him. What the fuck? 19 He. Just hits. It's very annoying. Just. Two points of piercing damage on a bike it's. Actually, it's cowardly. It basically gummed you. Oh no, not this again. 15. This is. And then with a second swipe then that also missed. Like you. The other one attacks Malice and misses Malice and. Hidden. You're not hidden. Yes you are. No, you're not. You peeked out and attacked, so you got you. Said from from hidden. Yeah, then you then break stealth when you.

22:23 Were talking fine then attack me, I don't give. A shit it missed. It missed his only way. To. Fucking right. It's like I'd be. Visible Alex. Isn't going to see it. Coming. You can't see me. Fine this action anyway so I couldn't hide. Again, exactly no one could see me it. Hits on the 1st claw though. Did it? Yeah, you. Don't know that 18/19/2021. I have 28. Yeah. Yeah. Bet. Bet. She. She's lying. It's like 5. 16 actually. You take 4 points of sloshing damage from a zombie claw and then it misses in a second.

23:07 Thank God. I'm assuming 9 and. This is not fucking. The the 4th the 4th zombie does its SAP attack. Does 14 hit will? No, no team. What about 18 does that hit will? Yep. Big time. Oh. We just. You take two points of claw damage. To be on his side. 2020, I know that fucking hits. Yeah, you take another two points of poor damage. Now it is Ivan's guy. This one's girl. I'm going to try something. The one that's attacking my face. Yes. I'm going to put one of my special silver bullets into my gun. And I'm going to offer a prayer to the dawn father and say Dawn Father, if this guy hit me, kill him.

23:50 I'm gonna get a car sacred. Get a car sacred flame. So they may. Hey, Dexterity, say. Yeah, it fell. OK, good.

24:01 That's 13 radiant damage. Mala sure go. Dope. I'm going to hit it with my psychic blade again. OK, I'm going to steady aim to cancel out the disadvantage. It's 11 plus. OK, seven. Who's looking the most? The one on the one on the back row that's being attacked by Will and Majestic. Yeah. That has the least amount of HP. OK. I'll go for that one. OK. I'm gonna cunning action hide. OK, that's dead. Right Bones Action Hide 626 back into. The Bush. She goes these and just collapses to the ground. Proto.

24:45 She just flops. I am the knight.

24:55 I will. Still, I still think I look absolutely impeccable. Right. Well, well, I'm going to attack the one that's not taking any damage yet, OK? Cool. 11/9 second attack 16 plus and then match tickets go yeah. 1818 hits. I know and 11. Fucking match tickets. Terrifying. He's basically maverick. Obviously. It's lost both of its legs and it's lost an arm. The arm that got ripped out by matchstick swipes that matchstick. Yeah, you can't do that. 5678. Oh, misses. The arm attached to the body goes for will anyone hits you take 5 pints of slashing as it as it slashes at you it grabs purchase on like a piece of your clothing, pulls it to body forward and then goes for a bite 12/13.

26:00 You don't get to judge. People biting you are. You talking will of the dog? Yeah, Will. Misses. Misses the one that got hit by Will's sacred flame. Lashes out at him 11 to a hit 11. No, no. 1111 How about 16? Week. Week 16 doesn't. No, George out of the way. I'm like Big Bird. It's actually tap from 1 foot to the next. Start doing like cartwheels right? Like it hasn't come up yet, but I actually have a shield. He's on the floor doing the worm. And then the the bite also misses to that's that's a turn.

26:44 That's right on the paladins. I'm actually fucking awesome. Get me in a fight and I will kill you. Everyone around you. Because Ivan's gone. That's right, I say. I pray to the door, Father, one Father, help me show these fucking zombies the way of the light, the cast. I use my channel devotion to do my imbue my weapon radiant power. It's like you were going to throw that dice like a Hadouken.

27:18 Yeah, My, my pistol now does radiant damage and I'm going to shoot the zombie that's attacking. Matchstick 28. No, yes, 28 to hit. Hit. Nice. Sure. Oh no, I'm positive.

27:38 Come on, 12 radiant damage. That. Nice. And then there's one attacking Lady Malice. Try to find me. Try to find him. Well, I'll shoot that one as well. 18 heads, 6 damage. OK, on the wall attacking Lady Malice again, radiant damage. After your prep and these shots are fired, you hear a bell kind of like a kind of like a servant's bell. And then you hear, you hear a distinct distinctly like echoey voice. Servant's rise. Servant's Full. What the fuck? OK, OK, fine, whatever. I just what the fuck Strad.

28:16 I know that's you and I'm trying to manipulate me. I know. That's that's that's that's. OK, can I incite? Can I? Can I incite or religion or something? That fucking voice. You can incite, you can incite. Oh, village on that's. Fucking shit this is 6. The tone, The tone is authoritative, and you swear that you've heard it before, but in the hair of combat can't quite like pin it down like your gut instinct is the is your master the leader of the the silver calibre? Yeah, it's going to be great. OK.

28:52 Yeah, sorry. Yeah, that's fine. Malice is your girl. I'm going to attack again with my psychic buddy, yeah. There are two left. 4 + 8 I mean I pretty much automatically hit on anything. Yeah. Other than that one. Yeah, in damage and. I I need to be very careful with my head points.

29:13 Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Will no fun. Will matchstick your turn. How many are left? 2 So who's left one fighting Malice? One fighting malice, and then the one that you sacred flamed. They still were in front of me. Yeah. Fucking hell. OK, I. Guess I'll tap that one. Unnatural 20. It's 13. I get 2 attacks though. Yep, 17 hits 4 There's so many. Sticks zombie does it. Quite possibly it's final set of attacks slashes that mass balls on that one. Shut up, I'll keep the game.

29:53 Have you noticed I want to kill you? He was like Sharp, these zombies here to kill you. It goes for Will 13 misses week and goes Ivan. Oh my God, that's funny. OK. I think it's. Going to do that. Enjoy your two damage. Regret that. It's going to gum you again. Seven points of slashing. That's cool. Scathing and then it finishes off with a bite 18 and you take two points of piercing. I think you're going to regret that nearly. Down them. Nearly down them. So close, so close, so close. Which is how it's your turn.

30:43 That's right, I'm going to shoot this fucking zombie in the face.

30:52 I I've already brought it advantage because matchstick is here. So that is a, it's in the high 20s. That's a hit. Was that not 20? Five, it's 13 + 9 and then that is 8 damage. But then I attack it again and I definitely get advantage this time because of the Vex from my pistol. Blow an arm off. It's a 25 to hit and I do 14 damage. OK. That goes. Yes, I shoved my gun inside its chest cavity and just fire up through its head. Fuck you. Cook Splat. At least you've got to taste something. The vine again.

31:36 What is the point of these one liners? If your creature is already dead, you can't hear them. Because everybody around me can hear me and they think, oh wow, he's really fucking cool. That is cool. Has anyone some malice? She was just behind a tree, her huge hoop skirt coming out. Of the side of it you've got. You've got a leaf in your hair, Malice. Malice like like brushes it down. She's got a little. Bonnet that she's got. That was pretty, pretty intense. As a straddling. As a stradling. Is there anything I can do to cure Malice?

32:13 Because then she'll finally like me. Nope. Oh so rude. Rude. All you actually want, it's for me to like you. I want to be friends. You dismissed me. You said I was gross and a thief. I didn't. Gross. I called you a criminal which? You are. You didn't like dating facts. You didn't like the clothes I gave you. I gave you a gift and you were so ungrateful. Ungrateful, ungrateful. You don't understand the point of it though. If you do not have a greater restoration spell or scroll, or a remove car spell or scroll, there is nothing you can do to help malice you.

32:53 Don't have that. Don't look at your sheet. You don't have that. Don't look at the sheet. I have lesser restoration. But I have it doesn't help gift to the gab. Can I grab it off of someone? I don't want your gab anywhere near. Me you may you may try your luck when you get to a. Summer. OK, I have 4 purple liquids. Do either any of those cure anything? No.

33:26 One of you has drunk one, I do believe. Is that what made you blind? It was me. I drank it. And so far you've not had any +1 I get, relax. Right, We need to get out of are we going to stay in the woods for are we going to camp here? We were trying to get through the woods. Can we set to the zombies? Is there is there anything on the zombies? Can we hollow out the chest and sleep in? Them these things smell worse on the inside I mean. I mean, why is it so? Stringy they. Are they are human size? That's.

34:04 Disgusting. You want to read that one? Well, can see the inside one. Will won't be sleeping aside. Investigation or perception? Yeah, OK. Yeah, role in that one. Does anybody want guidance? I've got 18. I'll give you guidance relative 4 as. Well, relative 4. Nice. 20. 2/23. Ivan is still kind of recovering from the weird. Yeah, like. Auditory hallucinations that you got malice and will through different means. You both encounter the same thing whilst malice whilst you're feeling over the corpses like you come up and you feel like the embossed symbol of a Raven on the armour and you like clearly see.

34:47 It see it? Yeah. This is the This is the sigil of the Castle Raven loft. These zombies are the long dead guards of this castle and they were house like house guards to Strad himself when they were alive. Do we think these zombies were sent by Strad? Or don't we assume that everything bad that comes our way is from Strad? Is controlled by the vampire Lord who has absolute power, Dominion. In this place. Yeah, Yes, we do. Like like rounds to check the grounds or something. Like a search party, Yeah.

35:25 Not. A patrol do. You think he's patrolling for us? Or do you think this is just a something that happens anyway? I don't know, you said long dead, but I guess he might just use zombie guards rather than vampire guards. It's cheaper, yeah, for sure. And I guess you can reuse. Sling, I should tell them. That's a good point. To kill them. You could probably recycle them. Don't. Yeah. Has anyone gone? Real really go there buddy. Just attempt. Don't let them know, just attempt it when you think that you can get away with it.

35:58 Is this is this you got? Is this will talking to fucking much? I wouldn't tell them. I will tell them if you won't, that's why you do what you think you have to do. Strad obviously wanted me to kill your two characters, didn't he? So I have to work out whether I tell you that or whether. I He wants you to He wants you to kill Will and he wants you to bring him. He wants me to kill Will. He wants you to bring kill I've. And he wants Malice to be his whore. Yeah. Which she's not opposed to, no. Because Strad's a bit of a thing in the.

36:34 Hour right? This is the problem he needs. He needs self-confidence, honestly. Honestly, I think if you make the first move. One of malice. 'S you might break down some of those rules. Best quality if she will break any man she sees. We'll fucking crack on then. What are we doing? We're doing break mentally. That'll do as well, although I feel like he's probably already there. He's on the actions of a sane man. Are there any paladin duties you wish to perform? I wonder if I could. Move on. Can we decide whether we're having all these conversations whilst moving on to our destination or we just stood amongst the zombies because as a group we never walk anywhere?

37:25 We're deciding. Whether we didn't want to do a long rest. I think Malice might even work. Maybe a quick prayer over the zombies, just sort of dawn a father to help guide these wandering souls to embrace. And then? Malice you need to cure wounds. It doesn't matter my I, I only have 15 at the moment. Yeah, but it gets dangerously low. Yeah, then we could do OK. We could. We could just do like. A yeah, I think we worked out we could get to, didn't we work out we could get to the place we were going to?

37:56 In a day because it would be like late afternoon or something. Yeah, well, it's late. It's late afternoon, early evening now. Yeah, because we just ran away from town in the middle of the day because. And you're. Someone caused this issues, yeah. Unless you have to go. Book it through the words to where we were going to. OK, Although we're going to fucking stealth it now. Yeah, it's just fucking run for it. Lady Malice, you are feel as though with your sight being as it is, perhaps it'd be better if you didn't walk.

38:25 It's like a knee. She's. Like prior to the dorm? She lifts up her skirt. Now chicken she's. Gonna at least have to bunch it because there's a lot of skirt, yeah. She's no idea that he's on one knee. Yeah. I don't think I take a knee and I tend to wear. I say watch this. It's gonna be pretty cool, OK? Don't fat please. Bless us with. Puts just stood there, picking his nose, rooting for gold. Means of travel and I cast Find Steed and a ray of light shines down from the heavens and takes the form of a noble white stallion.

39:04 Will nods. He's waiting. He's ready for this noble stallion. He's excited to see it. The fog from the outskirts of the village Borovia rushes in around the party. This is not what I meant to do. It creates, it starts to funnel like the base of a tornado and then it moulds and forms into a giant set of like fog, like doors. The doors open and what appears summons deed that you have summoned, which is undead. What? Not a celestial, not a fame or a fiend, and also happens to be immune to features that turn on this.

39:41 Andre, what happened to you? So what is it? Like a corpse. It's a corpse horse. What the fuck? Damn, you strike. It's. Nothing sacred. It's not what I was expecting. What the fuck's sake? Fine, whatever. Is there more zombies? Smell. Smell, yeah. You have to read too much into it. Will sort of goes to pat the horse's neck, but can't find a spot that's not rotting. I I just put Alice on the horse. There's a scrotching sound. The horse regards Ivan. It beige its head up and down like starts to like kick at the ground.

40:26 Yeah, it's not not exactly what I was planning to do, but it's close enough. Clearly the land of but over here has many secrets and tricky ways that I'm not quite used to yet. The skin is cold, rubbery, almost like leather, and it begins to peel at your legs as you adjust it as you were on top of this horse. Yeah. For sure got a flaky pastry horse. I'm definitely sidesaddle.

40:56 Yeah, the less of that between your legs and back.

41:00 Disgusting. The smell does go away rather quickly. OK, good does not. It doesn't. It doesn't like sail. It doesn't offend you for too long. OK, let's just go, shall we? Yeah, yeah. I thought we were. We were already going to walk, but then. You decided to. Stop and cast a call honestly. This is going to be a lot quicker for Malice. I'm very grateful. Where are we going? To the the lady. You are going to Adam Eve. You're going to Adam Eva's camp. Adam Eva's or Madam Eva's? Adam Eva's, Yeah, he said.

41:36 He did say Adam Eva's. Yeah, himself and. Said Adam again. Who is mad?

41:49 Don't piss off the DM. You are about you travel through to just to the clearing of the clearing of the woods. So we've made it to the edge of the. Woods, you've made it to the edge and you're now at the the clearing on the eastern side of the pool, however. So we can see the pool. You can just about see the pool through the through the early night, like it's not like a dark yet, but the sun has gone down and it's like evening tide. OK. Done. Everyone roll a perception check. Disadvantage. Fuck me.

42:31 You will be out. Yeah, 25. I rolled it in 20. OK, I rolled a foot. The reason I gave myself plus 9 in my fucking gun is because I don't roll above a fucking. 4. It spots you and you spot it at the exact same time. Shit. No. Do I know what it is yet? Shit. I don't know what that is, but I don't like it. Shit, it's looking at me. Why is it looking at me? Why is it looking at me? It's looking at me. Why is it looking at me? You pointed out to me. Well, it's over there. It's looking at me. What is it?

43:02 I don't know, but it's looking at me, you. Start see anything? I'm so startled. You startled a wild looking figure caked in grey mud and clutching A crude stone axe. Whether it's a man or a woman, you can't tell. So I think it matters. One of these were the faster Gators in. This. There are four of them. Oh. Fuck. So there's four of them and they're these like grey goopy ghoul things and they've got stone axes and they're looking at me and I don't know why they're looking at me and I don't want them to be looking at me.

43:32 Presumably I can see them now. Look over there. As now that we're now that we'll point them out in the in the light and in the light of the moon. The Mist. The mist kind of like fades away around the edge of the pool of the sub pool and you see 4 shapes. There are three kneeling down near the river and one standing up staring straight at Will, who is also staring straight back at him. And they are wild folk or esque. They're covered in Droid dirt and clay. They are unkempt and unclean. They haven't made, they haven't made any aggressive actions towards you guys, but at the same time they haven't bleed either.

44:28 Hello. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I've been in my garden. But have you gone? Have you gone ready? Maybe, Yeah. Well, is it worth maybe having a matchstick prepared? Yeah, I beast someone. Beasts with matchstick obviously always up my side. The three kneeling down near the river. They get up and they walk, or skulk I should say. They skunk northwestwards to the OR to the alcop of trees on the northwestern side of the pool. The one staring at Will takes a few steps back, holds out his stone axe as a as like a defensive stance.

45:14 I put my hands up. To say don't follow us. I put my hands up to be like I have no weapons and I'm not following you, but like hello, we mean you no harm. We come in peace.

45:31 Very loud, very very loud. Like Beastial grunt and it almost seems to echo through. I examine the tree lines and see if they're like circling us. Are they leaving or? They are taking tentative, evasive steps away from. Me. OK, cool guys. I think we should just let them go. Yeah, can I, can I, can I examine the woods perception to be 15? Yeah, with your like, you strain, you strain your eyes and you begin to focus and you see the band moving further and farther away from you. Oh good, I vote we either hang back a hot minute or go a different way.

46:18 Maybe if they're think this way, we go this way. Yeah, we move in the opposite direction. Yeah, good plan. We're at the lake now. We need to get across. They were looking at me though. Why do you think they were looking at me? As you move South. I look at your pallid complexion and the blood dripping from the corner of your mouth. I I, I say from the top of the horse they go. It's probably because you're you're straws but like. Shut up. Why? I get the distinct impression they probably aren't fans of straws.

46:56 Do you or do you think they're strads too? Isn't every weird creepy thing here strads as well? Are they good guys because they seem kind of arsy? Or maybe just neutral. They might just like not want anyone to be near them. Is there neutral in this world? Yes, that's. What I mean, I suspect these people are probably hiding from Strads out here in the woods. Potentially they could be allies, but I think if they want space we should just give them space. No, that's fine. I have absolutely no beef. I just wanted to know why they were staring at me.

47:29 These are. Because I'm paranoid. These are the wild mountain folk of Barovia. They are. They are a band of berserkers. They are covered head to toe in thick grey mud, which makes them hard to see in the fog and well hidden in the mountains that they call home. They hate and shun civilised folk and they try to remain hidden and withdrawn if they are spotted attacking malice. Upset them.

47:55 Malice was the problem, not me. So the pure fact that you both locked eyes, he's obviously, he was obviously like the commanding one, looking out for his brethren. Okay. Yeah, let's. Let's try and get across the. Let's go the other way, wide. Birth. Travel southwest along the clearing. So they went. Here they went. There. They went up here. Sorry. Yeah, like this. You're now in this clearing house. So we really want to like, go down. So you'll be going down and then up on the other side of the on the other side of the lake, yeah.

48:30 Is that is that a stream or something? That is a river across a river, yes, that is, that is. The mouldy horse. I do believe that is the Ivolus River. Should we just it's getting dark, do we think we can make it across this river and around this lake before before nightfall? Or should we just try and find somewhere to to make a cat? In all honesty, I'm a little concerned about what's going to happen during the night. Yeah, we'd probably be better off moving right and then get into somewhere, get into.

49:00 I think we should keep moving, Yeah. Worse comes to worse, we get a little bit exhausted. Yeah. And then we'll just have to have a longer rest when we get to this. Yeah. The river is roughly 50 feet wide with a depth ranging from 5 to 10 feet. OK, you are not at a crossing point so it will be at steepest. It is 10 feet deep. That's not that's not going. To anyone, there are two crossing points, one near the village of Borovia, which you would have to backtrack on. That's it's probably out of, yeah.

49:31 We yeah or risk pissing off the Berserkers as well as anything else ahead of you and going to the crossing at the Surf Falls to then backtrack down into. Jump across What's your horses jumping speed?

49:50 He literally says here it could jump across rivers. Amazing. It says right obviously. Hang. On Let me just write that in the book. Jumps across rivers roughly. Size doesn't matter, it can fly. Celestial good, anyway. I have +2 to acrobatics. Cartwheel to. Jump it, so is it. Acrobatics and not athletics. It's. Acrobatics. So you have you have a few options. You can push on and try to cross, or you can make camp here and then cross in the morning. No, we'll cross now. OK, not that much, Bravier aren't.

50:29 We we need to keep moving. I do not know what else is in here and I cannot take. So we're going to bumping into the. Berserkers. No, no, no bugs. Berserkers have gone this side. We're going this side and across and then round. A series of athletics cheques or survival if you wish to. If you have the utility and the time to craft some sort of bridge you have quit. Nearby there are trees. I actually might try to survive because I've got +6 OK. I'll give you the help I have and I'll give you guidance as well.

50:59 +4 survival by rod and eight so. I don't think you would really need it seeing as you're on the horse. No, I know, but it means I. Have a good advantage, OK. Perhaps we could just. I don't know how you're going to build anything when you can't fucking see. Oh my God, so 19 + 625 and then. Guidance is 84 if you need it. Why not? How can she build anything when she's blind 22? OK, so you succeed in surviving. How do you how do you with that, with that role? You either aid everyone to go, you either like set up a plan to aid everyone across, or you get across without any without any like difficulty.

51:39 What if we send you across on the horse, Malice? With that. You you can bark. Very easily get across the horse like the horse would be no trouble. Malice go across listen, bark and I'm. A gnome. I probably need some help. When the horse comes back, we'll we'll go. We'll take it in turns. Across get off the horse and then the horse is there for help. And. I'll, I don't know, you'll have to wait to fling a rope out.

52:02 As the. On the horse we're just taking turns across. The horse as you, as you cross over on the horse, yeah, to the northwest of you, you begin to see this like this, like orange glow in the distance. Mattis won't see anything. No, that's right. No, you won't. But everyone else will. What is that this? Because you're, because you're all there anyway, Like you're on the clan. Yeah, it's. A campfire It's. The Berserkers. Maybe. OK, Mattis, hurry up. Come across, hey, I'm the one for you guys. Sunray come back.

52:33 Hey, boy. The horse, the wholesale, begins to stomping the river next one up. Me, I'm assuming. It's up to you. Yeah, I go with matchstick. OK, OK.

52:46 Some of the Tims that he's here now. Survival or animal handling or acrobatics? Athletics make a role for how you best decide to get to get across it. Doesn't matter, it rolled in that 20. I'll do survival because that gives me 24. You cross, Yeah, you crossover on the other horse, Ivan. I've got such terrible stats on everything. I guess I'll do in acrobatics if that's an option, just to try and keep myself up on the horse guidance myself as well. Oh my God, you're all like absolute shit. That's 13.

53:30 OK, you stumble on top of horse, clearly, clearly disgusted by the the undead creature that you're riding on. Yeah, it doesn't really like you that well, you take. In fact, it takes you the longest to go to crossover. OK, I make it across. That's fine. That's the main thing. Yeah. No one else made over in a mile of seconds. You took fucking minutes, OK? I apologise for that, it's not places Lovely Alice again and we head to the village. As you, as you, as you make your way into the woods, after crossing the river, you stumble upon an old grave.

54:08 And then we will leave it. Why is there always? Weird shit in the virus, OK. No Graves looking at me. No one dig it up for gold. Why are you looking at? I don't like it. I look up shop in my head. What? Did you guys, did you guys prepare this grave for me? Because that's not funny. That's not funny. Why would you do that? That's not funny. Well, why would how would we have done that? Well, I don't know. I just I get the feeling that we set this. Up three weeks. Ago. Yeah, well, that's exactly my point.

54:40 Like, I don't know, I just, I feel weird about it. It took. Me. How long? 3 weeks ago it was. I don't know how we've been in Borovia at this point.

54:48 When is it day? When is it night? You are approaching the end of your second day. Holy shit, it's only been two days. It's only been two days. Fuck it girl, you're. Arrived. It's a lifetime. You're arrived. In the you. Arrived in the early evening, you slept at the Burger Masters mansion when is Mark gave you shelter and then you spent the whole of yesterday destroying their lives, killing the priest. Ruining Borivia, Yeah. For sure. Oh my. God. So this is the end, this is the end of this is coming towards the end of Day 2.

55:25 OK, fine. Sign off then. All right, thanks very much for listening. Everyone please like and follow us on Spotify. Also spoke the word about would be nice. We have e-mail 619 [email protected]. Did I get that?

55:47 And we have Instagram, which is also a 619 DND Instagram. Yeah, don't know how. It's gibbly Jibbly, yeah. Why wait? She's madness is doing a thing. Yeah, well, we, yeah, so loud. Hey, I want a dice. What? Oh, there's a dice. What? Oh my God, I'm never gonna get the opportunity to win a dice. Yeah. He he needs to kill us all. Yeah, buddy, that is a beautiful dice. That is a silver and black runic dice. It's AD 4. If you kill me, I'll take it back. Yeah. He needs to kill us and then we'll go back to paraphernalia.

56:35 And then you need to read yes for you're going to use yes. And then then you can. OK, OK. But until then, I've been your DM. Did we not get to say what we're going to plug? If we have things to plug. I was just going to plug the right edges. I have Bancroft because I've just finished The Hot King which is Part 3 of the books of Label and all of his books are fucking awesome. Fair. And one day I will I will use it as inspiration for a campaign. I'd like to plug myself. Somebody employ me please. Thank you and goodbye.

57:08 No, honey, I'd like a nap. Oh, that. Would. Be funny. So I would love a nap. I'm going. To go for a nap. You guys leave? Bye bye.

57:19 See you next time. We can't leave you said your kid gets shitty. That's. True. I made notes last session. Fuck off, I was not looking at you for. It I want to get sponsored by Beer 52, I want them to make a six or nine beer. I think that'd be really cool. Oh. My God, that would be cool. Yes. What? OK. Alex likes What am I doing here? Do you feel better now? Vindication.