Agents of Piss 2: Fundamentals of Asset Capturing

0:03 Hey, Craig. Craig Absolute. Creep. I know, it's weird. This is got a robot voice. I'm recording robot. Hi, I have a strangely not quite right voice and I am listening. Now recording. Now recording. And after all, I'll put my foot through the wall. Oh yeah, I've become a proper dad where I now like instead of singing along to actual songs, I will make up my own words to them constantly. That's a dad. I'll do that anyway. Yeah, maybe it's a dad thing, I don't know. I've been doing it since I was like 12 so maybe pretty sad I wasn't a father of 12.

0:58 It used to be one of my favourite games to play with Maria when I first started working there. When I wasn't really like, focused on working, I'd just be like, I'd sing like Disney songs myself and I'd be like, how dirty, how fucked up can I make this? She used to, I used to do that in the car when we were kids and she used to get proper fucked off that I was singing over like boys own songs with my own lyrics. And don't let her deny that she listened to shitty fucking pop music because she. Fucking did she knows.

1:27 Yeah, it. Gives me so much shit about my music taste. Right. Like, yeah, it's all right. I picked up on like fucking Green Day and Alkaline Trio and even fucking Simple Plan. All that shit that she likes now, but she stole from me. I just owned most of it. The only one of those that I still listen to is Simple Man. Babbage. The same with me. Out of that like mini list of like good bands, you chose the worst one. Yeah, I know that was deliberate. I don't know. I really liked it when I was like 14.

2:00 I guess that's their fucking market, isn't it? It's 14 year olds. They were the ones that did. I'm just a kid and my life is a nightmare, right? Yeah, there's like 31 or whatever. Yeah, which I only knew. I only knew that song because I I love Cheaper by the Dozen.

2:22 What was that bro? That is shameful. When he wrote, when he wrote, I'm a I'm just a kid. He was like 1920. That's not a kid. A guy sing thing is a guy singing I'm just a kid to a bunch of children. When he's 20 years old, yeah, it's still questionable. I would argue about his. Yeah, well, well, half these bands are predators at this point, aren't they? It's weird, like I know that like all of the beetles and like all of the like, really super famous rock stars and stuff, we're all sleeping with underage girls.

3:01 But usually it was like, ah, this chick said that she was 18 and it turns out she's 13. How could I possibly have known? Whereas like now they're actively go like fucking Craigslist and go. Has anyone got a toddler? That I can molest. It's like, oh fuck it. Yeah. Who here wants to get famous? Give me your child.

3:24 Basically. Oh fuck it, what a dire fucking timeline we live in. But you know what's not a dire fucking timeline that we're living in?

3:38 Hello and welcome to a satisfactory. And die. That's the introduction we're doing. Oh my. God. I my name is. Yeah, maybe look, just not tell everyone that we thought that the main singer of Symbol Blind is a predator. Ungroven yeah, that's pure speculation based on the fact that I think their music now. To be clear as guilty until proven innocent. I wrote a song about them being abducted and molested by a hot alien lady. I'm super into that. Nice, my name.

4:16 Is back what? And I'm here with Carl Nicholson. I'm playing Berry Onyx and I'm still learning how he sounds like, so have fun with that process. And a trapped nerve. Yeah, bitch, I'm sorry. I'm playing Ren. Yes, this is Agent. Oh yes. Fuck fuck fuck sorry fuck fuck fucking the whole stupid annoying cultural thing. Pharyonics are really a sunscale. OK, wow, he's not really a dragonborn. He's posing. I will learn, I'm sorry. How are we all? We're good. Yeah. Vibes. Good. Yeah, good. Yes. I've just spent the last half an hour eating frosting off of rich tea biscuits.

5:00 Small thing, cocaine. I wish, I wish. And it going back and forth between the two pharmacies in my fucking town and neither of them had the prescription which is great. Which is when you just hold one of them up with a gun and say give me everything. Yeah, I mean, I'm very certain. Yeah, I know it's there. I can see three people through the little fucking window or pretending that they're not in there. I can see them. Someone give it to me because it feels like I'm sleeping literally when I when I roll over when I'm sleeping at the moment, this whole side of my face seems like it feels like I'm sleeping on sand.

5:39 Like coarse sand or a nice like beach. Like, you know when you got a really bad sunburn that feels blistery. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, it feels like that, but all down the right side of my body. Oh. God, there's a lifelong ginger. I sympathise. Yeah, it's not, it's not chill. It's not chill and all because all because I wanted some gains. All I wanted was to go to the gym and get some freaking muscles. And now I've got a teachers me, doesn't it? Ruth ran her fucking marathon 2 weeks ago and then last week she did a 10K.

6:20 Jesus. Which guy is fucking mental, isn't it? Fuck it. And now, now she's hurt her hip and she's like, I don't understand how it hurt. And I've just sat there eating fucking like the 10K she did. They had a fucking bake sale and it was all charity. Like it wasn't an actual price. So I was just like, here's 50P. And I mean, so I was just stuck in her face with a fucking cake all morning and she's like popping it on going I've really hurt my hip. It was like, well, I don't know how. How do you? You're stupid.

6:50 Come now, think about it. What have you been doing? Yeah, I wonder how that happened. Anyway, she would do a recap. Yeah. yo-yo, last time in Kazmaiden I introduced you to the city of Kazmaiden, the fortress city in the north of Panatheon. It's a cool sort of Victorian style. Yes. Very nice girl. His character sheet is printed on receipt papers, so it rolls back up again. Yes, as Maiden is kind of like Victorian. Yeah, Victorian Edinburgh that's been moved to ancient Greece, allegedly, But of criminals and scum and villainy, you guys.

7:34 Ren and Baryonics piss agents Ren the grizzled veteran and Baryonics the aim to impress amateur. So it was deliberately captured and kidnapped into a criminal den and then instantly broke out murder, laying everyone inside. You questioned a couple of people and it came across that they were actually a rival gang in another gang's property, which didn't make sense. You found a guy upstairs being tortured. He told you that he worked for the main gang that was supposed to own the property. The rival gang were there because they've been invited by Cassius, son of Magothanies, the guy in charge of the big gang in town.

8:21 He told you that Cassius, the son was concerned by some of his father's business dealings and some of the things he was doing, that he had been sent to a trade office on the edge of town and that he'd been attacked there by Red Hawk gangsters who had dragged him back to this place. He told you where to find it and said that as piss agents, you guys should go and investigate. You found a bunch of cool loot and that is where we are now. I swear to God if we get stuck with another preteen child I'm going to be pissed.

8:57 He isn't coming with you, he's just going to scurry off back to his some safe house. Somewhere, thank God. I have more questions. I have more questions for this guy. OK. This guy, this guy's he's he's an immortal, right? Yeah. Yeah. OK, yeah. OK. I yeah, yeah. No, I grab. I grab him by the scarf. OK, he he's, he's like walking and talking with you as he's leading you to your next destination so you could ask him a couple more questions, but as soon as you you start the mission, he's going to fuck off.

9:31 OK, if you you were captured by the Red Hawks, Yeah. Why did they take you back to your turf and not their own? Well, like I said, I think Cassius might be might be getting in a little bit over his head now. It seems like he's he's up to something. I don't know. I just answered him. I'm I'm trying to, I'm trying to play like several sides here. Dude got to be quite a, quite a precarious situation. If you don't mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the Red Hawks, if they believed that they had something of value, IE if they believed that they could get ransom from you, or even if they're just going to torture and kill you, wouldn't they not do that on their own turf?

10:19 Why did they take you to a warehouse that your gang is in control of? It seemed a lot like they were invited there, you know? I think maybe they were waiting for somebody. If they were going to rent to me, someone was going to come by, someone who owned the place. I don't know. I didn't think it through that much. Did you happen to know? Do you happen to know who owns this warehouse? Yeah, it's an Immortals warehouse. Yeah, who's in charge of it? I would assume the Gaffney's maybe, maybe I don't know, maybe was one of his kids, maybe another like low down gangster.

11:05 I don't fucking, I'm just some. Guy, come on, dude. You're some guy who worked his shoulders. You're some guy who's actually with the immortals. That is why we need you alive, because you're already. You know everything. I'm literally just a middle, middle guy. Like, come on. You should know the guy who's in charge of the warehouse. If it's the warehouse that you work at, who is your boss? He stops at the corner of the street and he jesses to a building. Well, we're at the next place, so you go and find that out.

11:36 I'll go back to the warehouse and let's see if I can figure out who. Owns it and we'll be in the middle, yeah. Idle on followed. He's he just runs away.

11:50 If you disappear on us again, we'll find you. I don't know. I don't know. We'll eat you. OK. Fine. Go. So you come to Iago's import office. On the surface of it, it seems to be a simple importer's office, organising and facilitating the import and export of goods to and from Casmaiden. It's near the Eastgate of Kazmaiden, Nestle within the high rising slums of the EUR district. The building itself. As you sort of come to the corner, there's a four Storey wooden construction attached to a large loading yard filled with waggons and crates and a stable with some horses in it.

12:37 And even at night, because it's starting to get a bit late now, it's in the evening, there is bustling activity. There's guys loading carts, there's people loading and unloading crates of stuff. And there isn't. The Imperial office is a sign over the front door saying Iago's importing office. Can I roll insight or no? Like a maybe like a investigation? What is the main import and export in and out of Casmaiden? Or do I need to interrogate someone for that information? I would say you probably like just surface level knowledge export wise.

13:22 Tasmidan is like the plains outside Tasmidan are surprisingly fertile. So they like make a lot of food, which a lot of that they trade out of Tasmidan and into Elfis, which is sort of slightly northwestern. That's like this dwarf city that's in like the mountains, which obviously doesn't grow a huge amount of food from within the mountains. So there's a lot of food there. As far as importing goes, Hannah Feon as a sort of empire requires A relatively strong military presence at Kasmayidan because it's supposed to be protecting like it's the the fortress watching the entrance for their enemies.

14:07 So they import a lot of like weapons and armour and stuff like that out there. Can I Can I do a detect magic? Yes. Just to see if like, because obviously they said that there's shit that was a bit dodgy being brought in. I just want to know if it's like magical in its essence. I think just while we're like wondering. Yeah. So you're getting like as you're standing sort of in the street near the office, as you go near the like loading yard, you can definitely there's like a very faint like hum of magic, but it's like really, really faint and slightly like pulsating, but there's something, something weird going on in the yard.

14:56 Buck. If it was created by a spell, you can learn the spells School of magic. Would I know it? Was it a spell? It just seems to be like a residual harm. OK, cool. And you say this is in a crate. Yeah, it's in a bunch of crates. We, there's a, there's a piece of information that we don't have that I really wish we had

15:26 like the, the Immortals and the the Red Hawks. If they are exporting, if they're importing, if they're exporting and importing contraband goods, they need to be doing it underneath like a shell, like a shell company, like they would have a surface. At the very least, they'll be like a surface code for people to know that the shit that they're they're ordering in is here.

15:53 Right. But we don't know what the surface, we don't know what the, we don't know what the shell company is called. Well, if we go to the office, there might be paperwork. We could be there for days. Is there a worker nearby? Not if we at. All there's people, there's people like working in the yards outside. There's a couple of guys like look like sort of like heavies on the door as well, kind of just like watching the main entrance, but you can see there's like lights on inside the building. Why don't we say?

16:27 Audit, audit, audit. We're auditing. We're doing an audit.

16:34 Or we just say we've come to see cashiers. Yeah, just random guys that are working there. Oh, Cassius, Nah. I don't know why I put hate in there. Probably. What about? What about the guy who has his name on the door Let's talk to? Iago Iago is the guy that worked. He's there. He owns. It. Oh sorry, I got really confused. Yeah, Cassius is, yeah. Cassius is the youngest son of the the immorals. The big boy for sure. Yeah, you can go and see if you can speak. To, I don't know, I don't think they'll react very well to saying we're here to do an audit.

17:14 Do we have a badge or like some sort of logo or symbol? Have it part of your like field kit in case you ever need it is like a a piss like shield badge thing. And you flip it open. Yeah, yeah. You've probably got like papers on you to identify you because you're like low level, sort of like street agents. So it's up to you whether you use that. Roll roll A. Perception check I guess. 14. What does the scroll say? What does this girl say? 23. As you look around, so you're like stand there, you can see there's a couple of these like Tufts on the door and they've got like they're just in like some shitty armour.

17:58 They have like a big sort of club or whatever on their belt, but they're not like special in any way. But you do see that like this building is like 4 storeys high in the yard. There are like crates all stacked up there is. You could, you think if you were stealthy enough, you could make it up to like a third story window and get up there if you wanted to like break in, But you can just walk into the front door and sort to see if they'll let you in. Now, Mr Onyx. Oh, really is? I have quite heavy armour on, therefore my stealth is not only at a -1 but at disadvantage.

18:41 So. I I have a plan. We could split the party, split the party. Always a good idea. Yes, actually we could if you if you distract the guards at the door. Try and find out who owns the crate that had the magical infusion. I'll take a peek through the 3rd Storey window. OK, I'm down. This is your. OK. This is your mission, Czar. Cool, so you're going to go talk to the guards? What? Ren's going to go talk to the guards? Barry, Alex is going to try and sneak, right? I Crouch down and I concentrate on myself and centre myself for a few seconds and then my you hear this series of clicks and cracks as the as my shoulder blades protrude outwards and the my dragon scales begin to peel and crackle off as necrotic energy forms spectacle spectral wings behind me and then I glide up 30.

19:58 Feet. I do all look terrified. I didn't know. I didn't know that he could do this. And I'm like, well, shit. And then I feel bad. So then I can't find Steed. I'm joking.

20:18 You know you're not the only one that can do crazy shit. The fuck? Yeah, yeah, OK. Make a stealth check then I guess. Is that a frontage because I'm necrotic wings? You're making a self check to like fly up, like to get up without anyone noticing because there's people like in the yard, there's not really anyone in the street other. Than these two guys who looks up on a quiet day. Yeah, but that's why you're rolling a stealth check. You are still complete life. It's not like you're flying in amongst like a cloud of birds or something, or a cloud in general.

20:55 Like if someone looks up they are going to see you. Oh, the Spurs. No pen. No. Oh. No, it's like fly up and you know when like a pigeon flies into your fucking living room window or whatever? Maybe. You'd like that. Happens a lot here. To give baryonics advantage, can I cast Feinstein? Yes, that's just approach. I. Around the corner of the horse. Yeah, I, I duck around the corner, do fine steed. It's like this gleaming white like stallion of a horse. And I, I gallop in just to like, make a scene, you know?

21:47 Hey, what? Hey, what's this? Hey, whoa, what the fuck? Hey, hey. I am the officer of the law. What God in here? God, in here, I'm trying to, I'm trying to goon here. What the fuck? Wait, No, not in the in the, not in the modern. Sense fuck how to hear fast words. He is a gooner. Oh. My God. Oh, I'm not living that down. Oh yes, OK, you just, you are. Roll, roll again on your stuff. Check to see if the distraction works.

22:26 Worked against the. That's slightly better. That is slightly better. That's that's a 16. OK, Yeah. To be fair, their passive perception is a 10. They're not. They're more distracted by the the horse. You're would you, would you do it? You're an officer of the law. You're going to you're going to be here or what? Yeah, I do. I have business with Igos, Iago, yeah, whatever. You try to be the side above the door. You see the apostrophe that that tells you? I have not got my spectacles on this morning.

23:08 Give me a break. Argos I Argos Iago I have business with Iago they. Look you up and down. What kind of business would that be? None of yours as it would be. Hey, I like that. That's funny. OK, roll a persuasion check or I don't know, intimidation or something. I'm going to do intimidation just because it's higher

23:42 fucking, I don't know, 18 + 6, OK. Yeah, they're very intimidated. Like they kind of like look at each other and they sort of shrug. They're like, OK, your business, I suppose. And it goes out from the door, baryonics, while you are fluttering against the window like a moth.

24:13 Yeah, make a perception check or investigation check as you look inside. I like these those. Those are tasty. If I make like why did you look inside the building? But if you want to like take a peek at the storage yard and get like a aerial view. I rolled a 14 for a peek inside. Cool.

24:40 And I rolled an 18 to peek to get like a scanning the view. Cool. But inside you see essentially just like an office space, like a bunch of desks with like oil lamps on them. There's only a couple of them that are actually occupied by dudes, like scribbling stuff down. They're just sort of working. They've got like abacuses on their desks. You can see them like flicking beads, writing stuff down. So there's a couple of guys just like working away in there. As you look over the crates in the yard, there is just sort of like a lot of random stuff, but there is a bunch of crates underneath like a little roof which have an Insignia on them, which is like a three-point like a Trident.

25:31 And they're sort of like slightly, they're sort of longer boxes. They're about sort of 6 or 7 foot long, couple of feet wide, couple of feet deep. And they're like stacked up and there's a bunch of them like on a flatbed cart that looks like they're being prepared to like load up and move. I I would like to change my steed from a horse to a dire wolf please. It says I can have a dire wolf. I'd like a dire. Wolf, you're riding that into the office, are you? Yes, correct, correct. OK.

26:11 This is my this is my dog. Cool. OK, one of one of these like Tufts leads you like into the office and like the the bottom floor is it's kind of it's like, you know, like holiday sales shops. I don't want that fucking go like a Tory tour agency or whatever. There's like a bunch of desks where you'll you'll go in and like they'll sit you down at a desk and they'll type away and show you what the best deal they can. Find travel agent. Travel agent there. You go? Yeah. Tell I've never been anywhere nice.

26:49 Yeah, it's kind of like a travel agency down there or like just desks of of like people's fold folders on and like loads of leaflets and stuff. But there's no one like actually working down there. It takes you up the next couple of stories. Did you see what Baryonics saw? Which is like basically like goblins or all these like goblins using Adam Abacus and writing stuff down with a quill and like working all this stuff out and onto clay tablets and scribbling that out and handing them to other goblins who run away and take them.

27:26 And then you go up to the final floor as you come out into a sort of like a waiting room, like a double door at the other end. So there's like a couple of couches and like a coffee table. There's another like goblin lady sitting at a desk sort of scribbling stuff down. She looks up. She's finding her nails. What do you want? I get off my die wolf and stand next to the die wolf who I've decided is named Herc. OK, cool. And I, I pat, pat it's head and I go, I have business with. OK. God, what is it, Ayogos?

28:05 Ayago, all you have to go on is what I have said, which is Iago. I've written it down and every time it's something different. Ayogos. No, wait. I'm going to spell it. Aladdin. I'm Aladdin Iago. I don't wish I could do it. You're but Godfried impersonation. I have business with the Argo. Yeah, it's the Fed is here to talk to the boss. Apparently. He just shrugs like the touches walks off. Yeah, OK, fine. Goes over, knocks on the door, goes inside, comes out, opens the door. He'll see you now. Yeah, fabulous.

28:54 There's like this this. I I gesture with my with my hand for her to follow me. Yeah. And then before you go into the office, Iago comes out and he's like a goblin in like a fedora and braces and like rolling up sleeves on his shirt. He's like. What can I do for you? We have some Intel. What I should mention when you looked inside and as you were going through is it looks like there's been like a bit of like disarray. It looks like it's been tidied now, but it does look like there's something has happened.

29:30 There's like papers on the floor and stuff. It doesn't look as as tidy as like a well run office should. But yes, Karen. I'm going, I'm going to go actually scratch that. I'm going to go with that information and go. We had some information that you had a disruption here and we are looking and following it up. OK, well, we're. He's kind of like looking around. We're going on though. We had a bit of a break in but I could beside got the heavies on the door. It's what they're for now. I didn't realise it was going to happen.

30:02 They're they're out there now, so it's fine. Everything's fine. Thank you, sorry I didn't get your name.

30:10 Baryonics. Gay. No, I'm joking. No, no, I, I go. I am Ren Olari and I work with the piss agency. He's. Like nods like cogs like. Piss, you say? OK, cool, let's let me see. So the local town guard don't normally come down here even for something like a break in. Cool. Well. We had some disruptions between the immortals and the red birds. Is that something? You the Red Hawks? Yeah, Well, yeah, it was the Hawks to come in here. They trying to, but I think they're, I don't know, straight. We don't keep a lot of money on the premises.

31:03 I think maybe they don't, maybe we did. They didn't really take much value though, because we don't really keep any take of value here. So it's just the stuff in the yard which is is much better protected, obviously. And do are you aware of everything that comes in and out of your yard? Yeah, I would. Give a pretty tight itinerary on that. That's I got a lot. Of that in my office. I am going to have to look through those. Oh, OK. Yeah, score right. You're crossing. I I I say we do have a search warrant and I quickly flash a piece of paper.

31:40 Yeah, he kind of like, flicks the brim of his hat. He's like. OK, hey Mavis, what's you you put fresh club part on for a a a friend there for from piss and I'll just go. I'll go get those files. I'll be right back. No, no, no, no. I will be following. No, no, no, no, I I can't, I can't. I. However, I am an officer of the law, therefore all information is information I am allowed to see. So. He's like, OK, look. Over my dead body Topper. He sort of steps towards you, because here's the thing, lady.

32:21 And as he steps forward, the door closes behind him, and he's. Like oh fuck, it's probably luck behind. Me, hang on, let me see if I can find the key. And he starts like, rummaging around in his pockets. It's like probably something. Yeah, he's like, bye. And throws a smoke bomb on the ground. Did. He disappear. Yeah, he throws a smoke pot on the ground and you hear the door open as he runs into his office. Incredible. I hear, like, rummaging. Yeah, cool. OK, I'm going straight in. Yeah, you go in and he's like, you see?

32:51 He's just like jumping out of his fucking window, like. I grab him by the scruff of the neck. Make make make AI guess grapple check. Yeah, 19. Nat 20. Oh fuck he.

33:10 Fucking leaps out of just like as you like, wide swig as you come around to grab if you like, hops out and jumps down out of the window onto like a rooftop of one of the warehouses. Is Barry watching? Barry Onyx, I'm not even going to make him like a perception check. You'd have fucking seen that. Well, here's the thing. I'm not there anymore. Yeah, you are. You're just like flying above ground, right? No, when I saw the when I saw the crates of the Insignia, I was like OK, cool, my partner has the building under control.

33:47 I don't want to know what they are. OK, then I'm going. Out here though. So either so we can do, we can either do this in two ways. One, we could do this live and then I could be over there and be like, oh shit, what? Or we can rewind time, do my piece and then catch up. OK. Yeah, May. OK. So you're investigating these crates? Yeah, OK. Make a double check. Make a double check, post the door and then I'm like oh OK cool. I see the crates. I'm like. Make a stealth check as you go and have a look like swoop down to investigate these crates.

34:24 Is that's 2020? OK, you swoop down. Yeah, make an investigation check or whatever check you want to do. I make I I make a quick like rubbing of the Insignia with some parts when I have 16 on investigation and I have become defined. Yeah, what the fuck? It's not even like there is no sun shining through our window. I don't know why that has happened. I'm I'm, I'm, I have ascended. It's fine. You've ascended, it's fine. It's your glowing skin by wings. So yeah, you feel like you swoop down into the yard and start looking at these boxes.

35:09 You take a quick rubbing so again it's just like 3 point Trident facing upwards. You crack open one of the boxes with your investigation check. Yep. Yep. You open one of these, like, longer boxes and inside there's like a load of like, straw and stuff for like a padding. But there is just like this long grey blue skin, like emaciated body, hands like over it, like folded over his chest. It's like its body. It doesn't seem like, yeah, just like weird withered skin. It's like blue and grey and it's got like it's eyes, like it doesn't have eyelids.

35:48 It's just got like 2 black eyes but they don't flicker, they don't move. It's not breathing. It's just like, whatever, this is dead. How many lung crates are there here? There are 6 loaded onto this waggon. As you look around, there's more, and then you hear the sound of like flattering and you look up and you see fucking Rend launching herself out of a window onto a nearby rooftop. Right, I dash. Yeah. So I think for anyone to worry about, it's all under control. I jump, I jump back and then I take off and then I dash over the.

36:25 Door as as you see me dive out, you then unbeknownst to you see a dire wolf jump. After me so. To get a wolf. 1st of. All 22. 15 he gets in it, he's mad like he's giving you the slips, he's jumped on the stick, he takes the Bose action and fucking runs for so you. Pesky little thing come back. Yeah, he's now 60 foot ahead of you along this, this fucking. So you're on like, basically like the terraced rooftops of all these, like, slum buildings that make up this part of the city. He sprints off ahead of you.

37:04 He is trying to escape. He is just fucking legging it. He has a series of actions that he can do. He'll roll on his turn and he may attack, He may, you may have to make a save or whatever. And he is fucking bolting. So he's he's just run. It's actually Barry Onyx's turn first. He he is 60 foot ahead. OK, I I spread my wings, I dive, I I shoot up, I go 30 feet toward him, and then I cast in tangle Cool just in front of him. Cool, so he has to make a save. Cast in the 20 foot square within range, the range is 90 feet.

37:56 Tradition. Those plants turn difficult terrain. They disappear in the spell lens. Each creature other than you in the other in in the area when you cast a spell must succeed on a Strength saving throw. Strength. OK, is there any problem? He rolls a 12. Spell safety CS16 you fail. God damn. OK, he gets entangled. Back he has the restrained condition. Cool. He starts his turn. He's no, he does not, because I still have another turn. So slow your roll there boy.

38:30 Then I command IDLE on to give chase. Cool idle on. Hunt is on. Gonna have to climb up the fire bruise or something. He's on his way, cool. Then it's his turn. So he's going to do his essentially layer action first 3. So he's going to throw a flash flare. Both of you make a wisdom save. He's going to make his stroke save. 22. Go, you're fine. 21 I don't know why that took me so long, sorry.

39:01 Go so you're both so he throws this like flash bomb on the ground, but both of you kind of like shield your eyes and it doesn't affect you. And then he rolled a 15 to get out, which doesn't, does it? 16 Spot save DC. Yep. So he's still stuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck. Right, Red. Nice, your turn. Wonderful. So my eye jump, I jump onto the back of my direwolf, which I have, just in case you're wondering a cannon, and it can move 60 feet. So I kind of get within 60 feet of this guy and I, my direwolf's just dribbling on its head.

39:50 Oh. Fuck. And I get down. Help. Help somebody help. Now. I don't know what to do with you. Are you going to be cooperative and help? Or I'm fucking not. You fucking crazy. They're going to fucking kill me if I help you. It doesn't matter. You guys are going to. I'll kill you anyway. Your fucking thumbs going to eat me like this. Like like God knows what the fuck is going to happen and fucking the Japanese or whatever thinks I'm fucking double crossed him.

40:23 Very dramatic. Yes, I am. OK. Who do you thinks double crossing? You're difficult. Who thinks you're double crossing there if you tell? If I tell you shit, then the Japanese is going to think I've double crossed him and he is going to get me much slower and much more painfully than your fucking dog here is going to do. I like that idea. Ever been eaten by a dragon? No. I yell. I yell. Down to Barry. I go. Yell, yell down. You're like here on a roof. I'm like here in the sky. I yell up, I yell up, and I go.

41:03 This is your mission, Barry. What would you like to do? Wait, hold on.

41:15 I move another 30 feet. Are we, are we, are we killing or are we? Or would you like more information, which I don't think we're going to get? Are we still in combat? Yeah, he's, he's, he's planning on fucking running. Don't, don't, don't kill him. Don't kill him. We need information. Just hurt him a little bit. Maybe. OK, I'd like to do non lethal damage if possible. Yep, fine, just. Blunt end of the axe. Yeah, I'm going to. Yeah, I'm going to go for two great axe attacks. That advantage, that advantage.

41:53 No come back. Doesn't count.

41:59 Fuck. Here you look that say 22. That oh here. Yep. Gorgeous. Oh dear, that's 14 for you. 14 damage. Fucking it. And again, we're not. I've done, I'm doing non lethal, Barry non. Lethal. I was really ready. You didn't do it, but fine. OK. Well, that's 2021 and that. Yeah, that will hit. Yeah. Good. Oh good, if you let them. Get away. That's 16. My fucking head. That really hurts. And now are you going to help? Stop hitting his head, hit his legs. But they're so tiny, there's such a small amount of space.

42:57 They can't run if they're broken. OK, it's right. I could I could maybe help you. Could you tighten the tighten loosen the vines if possible? I. Tell me why you're transporting corpses. Look, I am going to need a load of fucking protections and guarantees of protection from you guys if I'm going to do anything to help you, because I'm going to die, OK? We are agents of the realm. We will protect you. We can put you in witness. No witness protection. OK. It sounds great though, but you're going to have to Get Me Out of the city Pretty good there fast.

43:40 No, Mcgavin is. Arranged. You're going to like this. What if we, what if we put you, or what if we take you back to headquarters and then we'll go from there? OK, I could do that. Could you get the vines off me now please? I will grapple you first.

44:10 I don't think I can grapple you. Actually it's not. I've done my. You took your turn. Yeah, well, I'll get the dog to just take it in. It's. Can you let me go? Barry. We should probably grapple him before we. Do that, he uses disengage and he fucking jumps off the roof. Can we? Kill. Him now. He jumps off the roof. You see him like basically like jump off of it. Fortunately all of the like houses are really close together because it's like such a badly planned city. So he jumps off of this roof and he like goes through a window into like somebody's house basically.

44:55 This is this is one O 1 piss agent grateful before you let him go. You're in, you're in Malay range. I'm. This is not my fault. I took on my I tried to get my dog to eat it and it didn't. I mean, you're you're. You're you're, you know where he went. Yeah, I dash. Yeah. So yeah, he's like jumped off this building, off the roof into a building. I-60 feet and idle and dashes, but streams straight past because he moves at 40, so dashing is 80 feet. Yeah, technically you still probably have your wings as well.

45:49 So like. I I have my wings, I'm flying, do. You swoop down like, are you going, I'm going into the window that he like jumped through or are you going to just like hang outside the building? Oh no, shoot through. I'm fucking dying. OK, go. You you fly into this fucking building idle and comes with you roll a perception check as you come into this room. Shit, where are you hiding? I like hat hook on the head and I go rookies, am I right and there. 14. Yeah, You see him fucking. He's landed in someone's living room.

46:23 There's like, a family sat on a sofa in front of like, a shadow puppet box, and they've all got, like, food on their laps and they're just like, looking at you. Horrifying. They look to a door that's like slowly closing and they like a kid, like point to suggest he went that way.

46:43 If you're dashing, you can probably still like, you can get outside the room. Yeah, go. You go outside the room. He's going to roll. He's 6. Slam through the door. You go from the door, he turns around, he throws a fucking knife at you. Oh. My God. He's got a 15, it's a 15 hit. Oh shit, 15 hits. First damage. Finally, he does 4 damage. That is so you. Stick your head out and this fucking thing comes flying out, which is like of course your fucking shoulder and digs into the wall. My eyes. My eyes.

47:27 My eyes flash yellow as the knife heads into my shoulder, and this force slams him into a wall. Oh, why? That would be the telekinetic reprisal. What? Does. That do Oh my God roll a strength save. OK, 17. Oh shit, he but he he OK, he passes, so he does not. He does not get pushed. However, he does take he does take 16 points of psionic damage. What the fuck?

48:04 What the hell? This guy's a fucking. Guy is around fixing this winged dragon man who's using his bike to throw it around the corridor. What? The fuck is this stop. Running. Fuck you. Red.

48:20 I I'm going to go through the front door. I think much more you're. Still on the roof? Just yeah. I I could fly. Did you not know? How can you fly? I have a fly speed and a speed of 60. But you're an elf, so why do you have a fly speed? I don't my my dire wolf does. What? What's Yeah, look it up. It says requires level 4 plus spell does that. Why am I allowed it then I. Don't know, maybe maybe it's like, maybe it's like someone companion. There are like tears of creatures that. You can maybe. Well, yeah, that makes more sense.

49:00 I. Don't think yeah, I can still jump across the fucking corridor. Fine, when I get to a level 4 spell, my direwolf gets wings.

49:10 OK, I'm just going to very gracefully jump down off the building. This family is sitting on their sofa with their ready meals on their fucking laps, watching their little shadow puppet box thing, and the fun goblin comes smashing through their window, does the combat roll, picks himself up, runs straight out into the corridor. Then this fucking dragon man, wings, glowing eyes and a pet dragon dog comes smashing through, burning even more glass. Just fucking gets up, runs to the door. They see a knife come flying through his eyes glow the goblin.

49:42 Something happens to him that side, they know what's going on. He disappears out the door as well. They're like it's fucking weird. And then a fucking direwolf fucking woman with heavy armour on just smash through the fucking plaster frame of the. Window. There is no wall. There is no wall. Anymore, I go to the front door and I knock. I'm much nicer. I go. Right, so you crashed through to the living room? No, no, no crashing. No crashing. I jumped down off the building. I walk and then you. Go to the lobby.

50:16 Front door and. You jump down, you go through the front door of this fucking tenement building. It smells like cabbage. And you just like, you look up and you can hear Tesla. You're like fuck, run to the end of the corridor and there's just like a spiral staircase thing going. On I, I look at. The family. I look at the. Family when I get there and I go I am so sorry about this and I throw them 5 gold. Cool, It's more money than they've ever seen in their lives. I give them 5 gold because I'm like I'm so sorry, please let us pay for the windows.

50:59 And then my direwolf. Me and my direwolf walk through very very gently and I open the door into this room.

51:12 OK. And I look at the situation. Yep, they're all there. And I go, Are we killing him now? No, I don't think so.

51:27 Not yet, just catch the bastard. OK, and then I'm going to jump off my steed onto the goblin and grab with fucking. Legs. If they're broken, you can't run apparently. Oh no.

51:48 OK, I guess grapple check. Larry Onyx is like fucking nursing his shoulder little shit. 24. Yeah, it's double what he got. Right. Flatten him. I go wow, fuck, OK, Jesus Christ, right? All right, we're going to try that again. Nope. That's cool. OK, I give up. I give up. I I don't know it's going to get away. It didn't work. You guys are a lot faster than I am.

52:23 Start spinning it in my hand. We're going to try this. We're going to try this again. Why are you transporting corpses? It made the. World an intimidation check at Vonage. I don't fucking believe it. Not one. Both times. Oh. My God, no way. It just spits at you. Fuck you dude. It's because I fumble it. I'm like oh too fucked. He is. There I. Go.

52:58 Right I I take a non lethal swing with my wall pick and I aim at his kneecap. What the fuck that's much better. 16 to hit. Yeah, tell it very good. The door that's so hard. And fucking idol on is growling so I've rolled 4 piercing and four necrotic. Oh fuck. So you pick won't pick him in the fucking knee. It's just like, OK, fine, a dog, a dog he's. Like bubbles around in his coat, it was he pulls out his fires like this is the. Files to the shit that you're talking about. The bodies, I don't know what the fuck they're for.

53:46 Mcgaffanese is bringing them in, yeah. Speech them out. Mcgaffanese I didn't say anything. It was, do you know? Who's going to be? It's going to be really interesting because do you know who I'm going to tell? Who gave us these? I'm going to tell. You said you were going to protect me. No, not anymore. You ran away too many times and now I'm bored. OK, OK, well, as you have it, that's big. The Gavin is he's bringing he's bringing these freaking bodies in, OK. He's taking them to a warehouse in the the Apatiki district.

54:22 It's it's in the north of it. He's I don't know what he's doing. He's got some some weird factory good thing going on. I don't know what he's doing to him. OK, You wouldn't, you wouldn't find out. You go fucking investigate that shit. That's fine. Just please don't kill me. I will limp out of the city. You'll never see me again. What is the name of that district again? The Apatiki. Apatiki Apatiki District Warehouse.

54:56 And he he marks on your map RPG style where it is it's. Very kind of you. You see a big star in the distance hovering the 2D icon. What for some? Reason For some reason all the roads are highlighted. Why is there a golden path beneath my feet? Interesting. What is the significance of the of the symbols? What just tells you where they come from? These crates are coming from Satya down in the South. They're coming up from theatres. He's taking them in. They come in, They're being that name of those like, I don't know, weapons or armour or whatever shit, I don't fucking know.

55:42 They come in, we take them in and then we ship them off to the Gaffanese. He's got this warehouse in in the city that he's taking these things to. I don't know what he's doing with them. I know what's in there. These freaking bunnies. I don't want to, I don't want to know. It's nice. It's not none of my business, man. I just I deal with the bringing it in. You're a businessman. OK, I look at Idalon and I communicate in Draconic to pick up the goblin and then take him to the to the piss the local piss agency like headquarters.

56:21 OK. And then meet me at this place, OK? We're just going to drop him off there. Yeah, we'll, we'll get them to book him. Cool. And then he'll meet you back at the place that you're going to. Cool no I can I can just re summon idle on again but I'll have to burn a spell slot to do so. But I can I can command him and I can summon him. OK, cool. In that case, you've tortured this guy, right? Of his own fault. He tries to run away, idle on picks him up, cuts him off. You know where you're going. You're going to go to this warehouse in the Apatiki district.

57:03 So that is where you're going. Dad, we'll do next session. But now let's end the session. That is where we'll end the session is what I normally say. Christ, thank you. Everybody for listening. Like rate, subscribe, give us feedback on whoever or not you like this weird little mini series we're doing

57:22 69-d&[email protected], 609-D and D on Instagram, or any of the other things I normally say go find out.

57:36 Yes, Sir, I like it. Yes.

57:40 All right. Bye bye.

57:44 Fucking hell, I'm stupid. I. Was like boom boom boom boom boom.