Panatheon 28: Ambush

Hello and. Welcome to is that a six or nine? And now it's AD and D podcast made by idiots. My name is Marco and I'm D Emming and I'm joined by Maria Nicholson. I'm playing Ick Grassley. Carl Nicholson. I'm playing Bell. Sorry, he said in the car. Oh, I'm always too close to my press. The Bell's going to be really loud. And then he leaned in. Yes, I know, that's why I've moved back went. Really loud to say I'm. That's why I've moved back. And a bought system. Wait. It's a button that's on my device.

This says it on my laptop. I realised I hadn't come up with.

She's got no time for your nonsense today. She's left. Yeah, I realised I hadn't come up with an ASII, just read what was on my computer screen. I'm not sure why it says support system. That's concerning. Anyway, who are you party? Has joined the. Party. That's a great question, Riv. She is checked out. Nice. Oh, how is everyone? Yeah, we're good. Yeah. Still don't have a job? God, you're still complaining about that? Have you thought about getting a job? Run.

I don't know why that was wet, but the dog shook and I my face got wet. Gross. I hope that came from like his beard. Yeah, I did. OK, cool. Yes, it's coming from us, but put the dog down. Yeah, he's gross. You got it all over your notebook. So I wasted my time. I stayed up till 2:00 in the morning playing Minecraft and then got YEAH and went for a run when I took Sam to school. Carl. 3:00 AM on Fallout 4, yeah. Yeah, we stayed up till 3:00 AM the night before playing Oregon Trail and Alex went for a run this morning.

I did, but I also had an early night, so there's no excuse for my tiredness. You're just weak. It's just a constant in my life. I have a chronic inflammatory pain disease and that's my. Yes, we know. Yeah. I've got to raise Wen for. This is The thing is, so at work we have like a rule book and there's a bunch of rules, number one rule in a rule book, in the rule book, in the colleague handbook, right? The number one rule is you have to smile. You have to laugh, because if you don't, you're going to kill yourself.

Yeah. And rule #2 is there is a big difference between knowing and caring? OK, I see. Well, I'm not. Going with this. I'm letting you know that I'm hanging by a thread, but I'm acknowledging that you don't care. Excellent. There we go. And that's why we have the handbook. Yeah. Shall we do a recap? Yes. Please. OK, last time in Panda Theon you guys are freaking out after poisoning Hyman Toler, the host of your excellent night out. You tied him up after not really working out whether or not he was alive and decided to rummage through his shit it.

Grassley enjoyed himself in his museum. Freezing. While Bell and Riv went through his office, they found a note that Hyman Taylor had scrolled down while he was away getting you guys whiskey, which showed that he was reporting to someone, that you guys were here, that he was reporting on your doings, and that there was.

Something you wish to. Add. Alice of the hairball, I'm sorry. My, that's on me. Yes. Please continue. He had been reporting on your I can't remember where I was. He had been reporting on your comings and goings and that he had something in his cellar. You would go and explore the cellar and found 4 corpses wearing strange masks which he all decided to take turns wearing. Each time you wore a mask you heard the screams and tortured dead souls. Despite this, you all kept taking turns, I think. We all needed to experience it.

You also found some other notes and correspondence in the cellar. They were tracking us, there were like dates and times where the PC was. Yeah, he went to leave the house, was taking all of the masks. The last body with a mask on rose from the dead and revealed himself to be a butt naked Hyman Taylor. He was weirdly smug about the whole thing, being a #1A Grassley fan, he happily divulged all of his plans, although he did seem to be insinuating that it might be in on whatever was happening. Well, he did that.

He threatened the Prince multiple times and then told you all that he was about to die in a house fire so that he was out of the way to avoid a war so that the uncle could take power. You escaped from the house as it burned down around you, Bell using his lunge ability to spring down the hall, rib Misty stepping around and it getting trapped in the kitchen. But eventually. I have two of them. Too fair, it was the only one who had to fight anybody while escaping. And by fight I mean made him strip that.

You're sewing seeds of doubt into their minds by saying that it might have something to do with it. I'm just saying I already that was already well in my mind. Yeah, we already know. Always me, no matter what campaign we play, my character ends up being the shifty fucker. That, or a pervert. Sorry, that and a pervert. But eventually Bell managed to slash the door down, breaking it open so that it could escape, and you all ran into the garden and turned to see Hypertola's mansion burning. All of that priceless IT Grassley merchandise burning down with it.

It's fine. You still own a whiskey distillery. Oh. Yeah, where are the? Where are the royalties for that? And that's where we are now. None of. Your fucking. Business so yes, you stand in this palatial garden I'm. Still in the pond. Better stand to get a pond. This giant mansion is burning down. You can hear shouts from the street guards start coming into the garden. I feel like I burst out kind of heroically though, right, 'cause I had like quite a mission to get out of that house and I was left in the basement and everyone.

But I feel like they should be like starting to mourn me. And then I appear. The way the way you phrase that I was left in the basement when you continuously told us to leave you behind.

Because I want to look no, no. I needed to be left behind so that I can get the answers out of him. And it didn't make sense. All of us fucking burning to death. So I did the heroic thing, I guess, to try and convince you that I'm not going to double cross you. And then, you know, like you said, I entered like Aragon going into Helms Deep. Like the doors. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I'm doing the exact same thing, flinging the doors open to leave the burning building flames behind me and smoke in front.

And I'm like, it's just like being on stage. I did actually cut down the door. Yeah, that was the one that destroyed the door. Oh. Well, I just emerged Vic. Yeah, role of performance check. I saw all of these saying guards come running up throwing buckets of water. I'm natural 20. OK. Yeah, You see all of these like hop light guys like breastplates and armour come running up with buckets of water. They're all yelling. There's a guy standing there pointing at the giant burning house, like they didn't know where they were aiming their buckets of water.

And as a bunch of guys come over to refill their water from the pond, they see you emerge from this burning house and they're like. Wow, you know the end. Is that it? Grassley, you know. The end of that night and he leaves the hospital when everything blows up behind him and it's just him walking wave like destruction. No, but you know what? Are you dressed like a nurse? Yes, yeah, yeah, I'm suddenly dressed like a nurse, but you know that all the chaos is going on behind him and he's just striding for grinning.

I feel like, yeah, there's a massive explosion as the seller for the whiskey. Catches. I stopped for half a second to be like my profits. It's OK. You already paid for it. Yeah, that's true. You have a bunch of guards, like, most of them are like throwing buckets of water out of this pond and out of various fountains and stuff around the gardens, trying to throw it onto this house. Pointless effort. Wasn't it the guards that started the fire? You know that Hyde and Toler directed someone to start the fire?

Oh. OK, it seems counterproductive to set it on fire and then drive it out so. But a bunch of guards run up to you and these ones are still armed. They still have their Shields and their Spears. There is an older guy that comes up with them and like they point Spears at you and he walks up and he's like what the hell is going on here? It's on. Fire. Who are? You survivor. Who are you? My name is Solaridos and I'm the general of the. Saying Army. Nice to meet you, Sully. What are you doing here? This guy, he's like a grizzled old Army guy.

He's got like cropped grey hair and covered in scars. He's wearing like white ornate looking armour but it's got lots of dents and scrapes in it, so it looks like although ornate, he's seen a lot of action and he's got a sword at his side. Well, he bought it cheap. We we, we got invited here by the Lord of the. House. And suddenly it goes up in fucking flames. He kind of looks around you guys. He's like, where is I'm Dola. I don't fucking know. He ran out the door about that. The noble is dead. Oh my God, what we could have just.

I haven't we. He didn't seem to make it out behind me. I tried to get him to come with me but he didn't want to. For hold a deception chick. Oh fuck Deception 9. He narrates his eyes. General, your city is under siege. You and all of your people are in danger. You need to report to your leader, Damsel. He was like squinting it Grassley trying to work out why he's lying and then sort of taken aback by what you say. He's like, he's sort of like nods curtly motions to his men to like round you guys up.

So come with me. We're head to the palace. You guys March through the city back up to the Roundhouse Palace. Thing scams out of them. Do I have any way to get a hold of ship? No, Fuck. You get marched through the city, there's loads of people are like gathered around Hyman Taylor. They got obviously like people trying to put the fire out, but other random civilians are coming up and they're like gawking at it because that's what you do. Fortunately, because it's a nice big mansion in the middle of a palatial garden, there isn't lots of other buildings, so it's not going to like catch on to.

The rest of the whole city on. Fire, yeah, but you are frog marched up to the palace and despite it being late at night, there seems to be a lot of action here. There's a lot of people inside. Damsel was kind of sat on the throne as much as the horse can sit on a chair, but he's looking kind of like groggy and pissed off as you guys approach. There is an old guy in like a toga who's got sort of like an Aqua marine coloured sash over him and he's standing there holding like a sort of like tablet clipboard thing who's like whispering in damsel's ear.

And then there's like guards arranged around where the fur is as you guys approach. So there are those walks up, salutes the horse and then gestures to you guys and then turns back, says these visitors to our city say that I've been told has been killed. His home is on fire. The entire thing's got up in smoke. My men is my men are trying to put the fire out now, but these are the only survivors we've found. Oh, hey, guys. Are you guys OK? You. Know. OK, good. I'm worse for while. Oh shit, what happened, man?

The last I heard you guys were out. We hadn't told her what what happened at this house. Do any of us have the ability to talk to each other without physically not. Opening our mouth, you have message. I have just a case of message, so you can send a message to one of them and they can send it back, but it's got to be a 25 word thing. Do we tell them about the masks? So if I use message, I can just ask them. Do we tell them about the masks? Yeah, yes. Nod or shake your head. OK, they nodded. To be clear, they nodded.

I have quite a good relationship with the horseman, so shall I just tell him about the mask? Inform him about the death cult as. Well, yeah, so there was this like death cult thing and like all these corpses wearing masks and then like when you put the masks on, they like, scream at you and shit. Oh shit, that's crazy. And then? He burnt his house down. Why? I'm assuming it's something to do with the death cult, the masks. That scream and. I think he was trying to kill me too. The OH. And the Prince, That's right.

I mean the. Cult. The cult in question is a Thanatos it seemed death cult and they are attempting to kill the Prince. Oh shit. They appear to be in league with an unknown deity by the name of Sures for whenever they travel her name comes up. We have had dealings with this group in the past, but we are limited in our information. And if they are here, then your city has been invaded. Isn't quite the right word. Infiltrated. Infiltrated. Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Rick. And in. And in other news, I don't know how much you, how much stock you burn it, but people believe that Poseidon has abandoned you all.

Yeah. Have fun with that. Yeah, we've heard about the crazy going down. That's fine. I'm more worried about the death goat thing you said. I I fear that it might all have something to do with each other.

Renee doesn't sound like a conspiracy theorist. I get it from my mother. So there it does kind of like just stands there like handle here. She's like, I think it's very convenient that young Prince colonist denies here is turned up and unannounced in the city and he's he's cavorting with one of pancreatitis is a supporter of pancreatitis and now Hyman told her is dead. I've heard that the Prince is on a mission to try and improve his standing, and it sounds like the quickest way you can do that is to eliminate anyone who supports his uncle.

Oh, I see. I see what you're. Doing I'm going to stop you right there. That's clever. I'm going to. Stop you right there. Have you actually looked at the fucking Prince? OK, Take, take him. Take him in. OK, take a good minute to just look at the he's not planning shit, OK? We're just, we're just trying to get him home and then capable. We're just trying to get him home and we got waylaid because you've made us clean up your mountain of shit, you dirty fuckers. And the nothing to do with the Prince.

He barely even knows his own name. The old guy who was wearing the like, sash, he steps forward and he's sort of like patting the air to kind of calm people down. It's like so there it does calm come. Everyone's heard your conspiracy theories. This is a terrible tragedy. I don't believe our guests here, especially the noble Prince, has anything to do with this. Awful. Accident wasn't an accident. I'm trying to help you, yeah. You can help me because I mean, let's be honest here, Hyman Tola, he actually sent someone to burn his own house down.

And why would he do that? To make it look like an outside attack. Yeah, because he had so much weird shit in his fucking basement. I thought you were going to say in his house I was about to get really. Fucking offensive. Also, anyone who's not trying to burn down the Museum of Ick. I mean, anyone who is that big of a fan of Ick Grassley probably has some scallions in his.

Perry, Manda. Brings himself. Up the old man. Oh my goodness. Can I can I show them the letters we picked up? Yeah. I I lay them all down I'm I get a table. And then I. Yeah, roll an investigation check to find a end table or something. Bell.

Are you asking for the help action? No, I was going to ask. Are you asking me to get down on all fours? Do you want me to be your table? Surely it would be better placed for this seeing as he's. The Giant. Yeah, but you have a much broader is. This the health action are you being. Fine, Yeah, he's not being the help action OK 15. OK, yeah, you can find a table. There's a table. I mean there is like long tables and stuff all around the benches with DC on it you just go over. And take one fold them in half.

Right, yeah, table and then I get. The shape of coffee table. Mighty mighty God damn it on the table. I get the the letter that I found on the desk that he wrote when we first got back to the house, and then the ones that we picked up down in the basement. And I go, here's your fucking proof. Her Amanda goes over and starts like reading some of them and his eyes widen and then seller Aridos comes over and stands near him and he starts passing them to him as well. And you see sell Aridos like looking at these letters, brow fired, looking at you guys.

He's like, can you confirm these on a forgery of some kind? Yeah, very magic like. That's a calming hand on his, on his arm. Calms there. It does. Terrible tragedy has happened and it seems a conspiracy is at foot. Hyman Turner mentioned that he was quite well standing within the Royal Court. If you have any records, any signatures or reports that Hyman Turner has given to you, simply match up the handwriting between these reports, his own private reports that we've received from his house, and the ones that he has given to you.

Yeah, and we're all happy to give you all. I'm writing to show that it's not ours. Fairy man does sort of like scratches his chin and he's like, I have some papers in my office here. Would one of you be able to help me grab them? Maybe yourself, like a young man you can. Get off off of all fours. Thank. You dust yourself down. Come, come with me. Come. And he'd like. He goes off to like a side office and you follow him. You go into this office and there's like a rack full of like scroll rolls and stuff and letters everywhere.

And there's a couple of Ravens sitting on a perch with like those little cap things on. And he's like rummages around on on his desk and then he looks around once you've entered the room. Can you just get the door for a second please? Yeah. He turns and like what, what, what like a frail old looking man turns around. He seems a bit more energetic suddenly and he turns you and he says I have been communicating with Archimedes. What word? What's? What is the word from the capital? He says an owl for you, it arrived before you did.

I didn't know when you would be here, so I kept a note and I I didn't see you before you left for the day. But that Pancreatitis is reportedly furious that the Prince left the palace without word. Oh yeah. It's not without. Oh my God, we just. Sniffled him out, didn't we? I, I, I fucking warned. I warned them that this would actually happen. He couldn't really look at the floor and kick their shoes in the dirt. It's not entirely a clandestine event. The Prince wanted to make himself known to the public.

We went to the advisor, we have official Seals and a permission for him to return to schooling and to make himself known to the people that he's going to lead also. His uncle wanted to kill him. You're not in the room. Message also his own. He passed the air again. It seems to be like his signature gesture. He passed the air to like calm. He was like, it's OK, I am on your side. I I agree. I think something is is amiss here. And it seems if you have evidence that pancreatitis is is plotting against the young Prince, then it's we need to take it seriously.

Saleridos is a product of his generation. He's a soldier. He, he worshipped Gluteanus while he was alive, but he, he fought under Pancreatitis during the war. I think Pancreatitis has been in contact and he rummages around like his desk and like, picks up some papers. And it's like I have reason to believe that Pancreatitis has told Soleridos that if we flock to his banner and support his claim to his throne, that we would be given autonomy or even secede from the Empire. And I don't believe that's wise.

I think strategically, economically, it makes sense to stay part of the empire. I am on the prince's side. I am good friends of Archimedes. He seemed worried. The From what we have learned upon entering the city, there's a growing resentment about the forces being used on an Union war fronts. They don't like the idea of having to fight another city's battles. I can kind of see where they are coming from with this. And also, Panko Titus was my patron. He tasked me with keeping the Prince alive. I thoroughly believe that he has been.

He's being used as a scapegoat. There is a higher target above him and he is just being thrust into the limelight. I don't entirely believe that he is going to form any type of aggressive action to to try and take over the city because if he did, he probably would have. He probably would have attempted to kill the Prince when he killed the king and like Sarah, which he didn't. I. Can't hear this I'm so. Angry roll a conception. Sorry. Is up against the door.

If he killed the king, that is. That was pretty loud. I feel like we, yeah. 18 He looks you up and down like cocks an eyebrow and seems to sort of like just be taking you in for a minute as he works out. House and sea you are. And he says, all I'm trying to say is Solera Dos is a good man, but I don't think he's a traitor. He's he supports pancreatitis because he thinks he would be a good leader. But I think if we can convince him of these accusations of treason, he may come, He may come to our side.

Side being. Keeping the Prince alive. But you're you're basing this entirely on the whole the whole premise that accuratized once the Prince dead. I have not seen him personally make any action towards this. I have seen people pretending and I have seen an outside cult that has nothing to do with him attempting to kill the Prince. He, you see his like with you're 18, you see his hand like slide under his desk and like hit a button and like a little hidden compartment shoots out and he takes out a scroll and he says this scroll was meant to be delivered to Saleridos.

I took it. I think it's one of many that Saleridos and Pancreatitis have exchanged, and it implicates both of them in a plan to take over the empire or at least break it up. This this is my evidence that I have that Soleridos is bartering for. Maybe not the throne of Fasse, but certainly some form of control.

I don't know the Pancreatitis necessarily means harm to the Prince or to anyone else, but it seems suspicious. But I need your word that you will protect me because Soleridos probably won't react well to this being revealed. You have my word. Thank you. And he goes to the door and sort of like leans past you to open the door. Me and it fallen.

He go, he enters back into like the main hall and crosses and he has this like scroll in one hand and turns to damsel. My Lord, this is somewhat awkward for me, do you have to admit. But as the as the general postmaster of the city, I have been going through some of the correspondence that we have been sent here. And I believe I have evidence to support the theory that Pancreatitis might be plotting against young Prince here. And the horse shrugs. Spit it out there, man. And he turns to Solaridos.

He says Solaridos. Cell places his hand on the on his arcane blade. I know that you've been exchanging letters with pancreatitis, much as I'm sure you're aware that I have been in communication with Archimedes. We're spying on each other because we suspect each other of the same thing, although I believe we have the same goal, and that is the safety. The success of that's a my Lord Saleridos here appears to have been plotting to perhaps overthrow that's A and Saleridos like much like strides towards him that is liveless lies and conjecture.

How dare you And he has the scroll to the horse who kind of looks at it, raises its hooves, shrugs again. Hey here unfolds it and he reads this note. It seems like fairly innocuous. It's mostly just reportings of kind of like the status of the military. So you get a lot of figures about how many horse there are, how many Spears or how many men where they're stationed, which as Pancreatitis is kind of in charge of the military for the Empire, it kind of makes sense that these they'd be sharing this kind of information.

But then at the bottom it starts getting a bit more personal. And it says, of course, if your plan goes ahead, I require my own personal control of the army. I will not serve under the auspice of Anans. As Perry Manda finishes reading that, he looks quite glum as he looks over at Solarados. He was kind of like hanging his head a little bit. Solarados, you have turned your back on your Kingdom. Why? To be clear that I was under the impression that the Prince was dead when I sent that offer. Why? Because we were told.

By he. My pancreatitis. Pancreatitis sent information. He sent, he sent, he sent correspondence to tell us that the Prince had been lost at sea a mere day after Glutianus had been assassinated in his bed, he at his villa. Well, we were on that ship and it was purposefully. Attacked by pirates. It was attacked by pirates. It was a sacking. That we know. It was a sacking that. We know had a relation to pancreatitis. Maybe tangentially. Your fucking bitch of a patron is a bitch and a traitor and a loser.

Seems to be waiting for a loser. Look at all this chaos. You sorry. When I see him, I'm going to kill him, OK? Make make a persuasion there it is advantage As you tell him this and they argue about it in front of him, he's like, oh, they seem really fired up. 15. He took nods he looks he was like portraying this image of like a really like tough grizzled soldier, but his soldiers have shoulders have slumped a bit. He seems to have shrunk as he realised he's been caught out in this and he takes the knee in front of damsel.

My Lord, I swear I was not plotting against you Pancreatitis. When he informed us that the king was dead, the boy was dead, that was that was all the information we had. There was a we had to go on. He was demanding to know where I stood in terms of loyalty and I told him my loyalty is did that say yes, I was bartering for autonomy for that say for. You did pancreatitis even mention in these notes with yours he came across this information. That everyone was dead. Yeah, we all. Know and then Perry Perry Manda and damsel both kind of like shrug and damsel was like no the lazy Sanchez said that he was he knew that they were dead.

He just said, you know, Gritty Anus is dead, and that was pretty shocking. And then we got this thing saying that the Prince was dead and it was like, oh God. And then like a couple of days later, it was when, yeah, man, it must have been like 3 or 4 days after the Prince was supposed to be dead. Did we got a letter rescinding that? Those letters saying the Prince was dead was sent out prematurely because that's what he thought they would do, because that's what we thought. Premanda, please show me these reports.

Yeah. And like he goes through like the stack of scrolls that he's brought out with him and he hands one to you. And again, it's like, it's fairly like short, but it's just a scroll that says like, this has been sent by pancreatitis. King Bootianus has been assassinated in his hunting lodge. The killer has not been apprehended. Everyone needs to be on high alert. And then you have another one that says the Prince has been lost at sea. The reports that their ship was attacked by pirates. There were no survivors from that ship that Lords are being called to attend and ends as soon as possible.

And then you see another one a few days later that says that oh wait, the Prince is alive, don't worry about that. But then looking at the dates, you can see that the one that Saleridos received where he was saying that he was going to, he was asking for control of the army, was sent between the Prince being declared dead and then possibly surviving. I'm going to roll an insight check to see to try and gauge whether or not it was sent from the office of or if it actually was. Him, yeah. Like his own words.

Yeah, yeah. Make AI guess. Investigation probably. Flat 18. Yeah. So you've received orders from Pancreatitis in the past. You know what his handwriting looks like, and you know what his seal looks like. And you've seen his seal a few times. This looks like his writing. It's definitely his seal. It certainly seems like it's handwriting. Can anyone can steal or see? Your. However, what you don't see is the Thanatos symbol on any of his letters.

You have to give it eventually. You have to. He's still trying to convince. Himself. That the uncle's a good guy. Yeah, I just, I just think it's no, it doesn't. I just think it's really interesting that you would you would. That letter saying the Prince was dead was sent out way too soon. Nobody checked. Nobody looked for him. It was. How do you just assume that that's what happened? Nobody. Nobody. Bothers worried that he was in a flaming building. Also, it is really quiet during all of this because he's in the corner sulking about all his memorabilia.

I just I just. We are in a period of mourning as our Glorious Leader has fallen in battle. Rest assured, the Crown will be passed on to his son. This was an impromptu shorthand message written a year before Gluttianus died. Does it make the person who wrote that letter a criminal or a seditionist or a constraint theorist? No. Yes, yes, yes, it has a thought. My thought would be kill him off so that the Prince is in charge, because a change in power is always a great time to usurp the throne. And if there's anyone you're going to be able to usurp, let's be honest.

Sorry mate if the fuck some prints. Yeah. Right, Riff. Yeah. However, she. Didn't even listen to her. I did. I did I. Was staring at her window. Huh. Yeah, sure. My point being, it's just pragmatic for the officers of the throne to have a letter ready to send in such an event. It doesn't mean that they're trying to usurp the throne, they're just trying to keep control. Except for. That's exactly what happened. I think you were so far off his ass. Yeah, but you can't see the truth. You wish you were his son.

His son. Oh, OK. His son, Oh. Lordrock. Amanda clears his throat. We're just squabbling in a corner. I'm being really professional. All right, fine. Per Amanda Saleridos, you are both considered high up on the Thesaian Royal Court, are you not? Do you not have correspondence ready to go in the event of such, in the event of the of the Lord's death, to maintain control over your empire? Your leader is dead. Don't worry, We have things under control and you've and you've dated these months, years before the actual death actually happens.

Barry Meadow looks terrified. He's like who will I do for like like tax receipts and things. We have like pre filled out forms and not filled out forms, pre written forms.

Edit that out. Onto the offshore account, yes. We have, we have. We do have some prefilled letters. A letter declaring the death of the king. Is it dated? Yes, they are dated. You wouldn't. You wouldn't, so just go from the number the date written on the letter. From what I remember from the episode where we just got here and we were talking about the letter, it was dated before they knew he was dead and also. I mean that pirate thing was such a fucking setup and then every time we went anywhere people trying to kill the Prince.

So it's so obvious. Like you are just the most and stubborn horrible do. You know, let's, let's all, let's all just remember how we know that why we kept getting like people trying to murder us. It's because you've had a fucking tracker on your sword that your patron gave you. And also we did a. Lot it makes sense. We also did a lot of snooping around in the in the palace when we were like, yeah. And I think our conclusion again then was that the Prince isn't safe and that's why we smuggled him out, because he was already supposed to be dead.

Yeah. Perryman it's sort of like a little bit flabbergasted, but Saleridos still kneeling, kind of like rises up angry. Tidies was offering power, yes, but he was offering. That's a autonomy. He was offering to break up the empire. However, I serve Damsel, and for now I serve Anons. The Prince appears to be in danger already. You have been attacked this night. I propose we load you up onto some carts and we send you anywhere and it's probably travel by night is dangerous, but it's probably harder to track you that way.

I, I am, I apologise greatly to my Lord Damsel. I am not trying to usurp you. He turns to the Prince. He's like, I'm not necessarily trying to see usurp you. My loyalty lies with pancreatitis. My loyalty lies with pancreatitis. I served under him during the war against Katie's, but my loyalty is to Damsel, to his family. And also I started to twitch at the mention of Katie's. Give me some time to load up a card. I will send men with you as God if you prefer, or you can go, it's more discreet. It's up to you, but.

I think probably the more discreet the better, right? I don't think that was discreet. Perry Manda Actually we are probably do some Thai Jannens as it were. Archimedes has said it probably wise for the Prince to get back before pancreatitis sends men out looking. For him ought to kill him. Well, as it is pancreatitis and he Roberts is through some more of a stuff and he brought out a letter, Archimedes tells me the pancreatitis has been raging for days, angry that the Prince has abandoned his post so soon after arriving.

So far it seems Archimedes has convinced him not to send a pen out looking for him, but it's only so long he can do that for. This is what annoys me though is the but he has absolutely no fucking right. He's not the advisor, he's not in charge. The Princess of age now. Yeah, of age not sworn in. Yeah, but. And so pancreatitis, no, but pancreatitis is worried because the air has not where he is supposed. To pancreatitis is usurping. If it was usurping, why would he care? Why would he? Why would he be so?

I'm just. Going to cite Richard about other. Princess in the tower, I'm sorry that straight away he jumps off. Fair, Riv. Riv wraps her cloak around her, I mean, and crosses her arms. I think we just go. I mean, yeah, but if. Do not use that choke with me. Yes, yes, of course we are going to leave, obviously. But don't make it look obvious. Don't make it look like you, you and your party are hiding anything. More valuable than what? Is we agreed on discreet OK. So a local mercenary Guild will do.

Yes, we'll just a trade waggon is fine and so there it just jumps off to go and find a cart is. It a covered waggon like cowboy style like Chuck waggon. No. Well, yeah, I guess. But without the cover, like you're, you're like a Skyrim cart. Yeah. So about half an hour goes by and again, it's it's night time. It's dark. He comes back with a couple of men. You can see both of them have short sorts at their sides and bows on their back, but they're wearing otherwise like sorts, just like plain clothes.

And he walked over. And so everyone says, I trust these men and I appreciate you probably don't necessarily trust me right now. Belsapurus pauses his arcane played out, and then points it at the the two strangers strip. What? Just do a pat down my dude.

Keeping keeping an eye on him, Belsapurus pulls out the the tightroot skin. If they have this, they die strip you. Know you could have just got me to use command. I'm really good at getting people to strip. I know. I'm sorry I stole your Thunder. You. Stole my line, my method. They rolled their eyes to me. When I was. Naked before. Yeah, Sarah dos make a persuasion check. Can I roll an insight to see if anyone reacted to the? Yeah, like if anyone was. Like an overall persuasion. Yeah, real persuasion to get them.

To fuck 17. 14. OK. He he look, he looks at you and then looks at the skin that you always come. He's like, oh, my God, I flap it around a bit. Yeah. He's like, I hate this piece of skin.

He's like, is there any word particular you think this tattoo would be? And he says, like, men show them and they kind of like, they like, pull their shirt like across and then you can see like a little like one arm and then the other. You can see they show you their chest, their back, they like. I'm not sorry. I don't think, I don't think I was hurt. Eric, would you please? Guys. Strip. But for what it's worth, he doesn't have any reaction necessarily to the tattoo. It's more of the same reaction you've seen from everyone when you've produced a piece of skin and they go, what the fuck is that?

It's. Like leather? It genuinely seems perplexed you're going to make them strip. Strip. One strip or two strip. Two strip OK. One strip. 2 strip. They both make wisdom safe. So I roll. No, I roll. OK, one's a three and the other's a 15. One of them just stares at you like what fuck are you doing? And the other one is like. And he?

Literally like pulls his full care off and he's he's fine being a bit chilly probably. Maybe leave him alone. I can. Charm him into taking his clothes off I. Saw. It from from the the way the DM is talking about this, I fear that neither of them haven't not to met again. Can you imagine if I just start rolling at random every NBC that you see to decide? Fuck, that's genius. Anyway. It's just a requirement. If you're working with us, you need to get naked at some point, All right? You may as well get it out of the way now.

Are we taking? He takes he takes his shirt off out of fear. You can see him shaking like OK. He pulls his shirt off over his head. OK, thank you. OK, fine. Put your shirt back on. Are. We taking the Prince back to Annan's? Yes. Yes. To the scary uncle, yes. Well, the uncle is trying to make moves it seems, so it might help to be there and. Yeah, and I'm gonna kill him. Annan. Sick. Sweet, you're loading up onto your car. That's a. Good one here. That's definitely an episode where we missed. Yeah.

PPPPP and PPVC pound love it. What did you just say to? Me, I don't know. I think it was a threat. You get hurried down to stables at the edge of town and hoisted up onto this car and it is like the like 4 wheeled Skyrim cart. So it like benches along the sides and there's a couple of like. Awake. Crates and sacks and stuff and you've got the two guards that sit at the front and one's got the reins and one is sitting now with like a boat. I'm. Going to drive. The car persuasion check. 18. OK, yeah, I see.

You find. It crossly, they said. Oh my God, You just have the guy in the shoulder. You really drive the guy inside. All right, fine, whatever. And then he like, climbs over the bench and then he takes your place. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What path are we? Do we have a map? Just just just real quick, do we have a map? Yeah, but the guy in the passenger seat pulls out a map. He's like, yeah, we're just going to take the main Rd. Yeah, straight S OK, hire a second cart. Why is nothing easy, Bell?

Bell takes off his great sword. Why? Do we need a second cart? Place this in the second cart. That's a good idea. On a different route, place it. Yes, place that on a second cart and make it go a different route to the same location. They kind of like look at each other, so they heard us. It's like, OK, fine, Yeah, fine. And then he like takes the sword off of you. That's. The sword that tracks people, Yeah, so. Maybe, and if and if by any chance that can't get sacked, then OK, fine, maybe you know, whatever, it's not true.

But if it's not the both of you, shut up about pancreatitis being an evil guy, OK? Crows. But question, what if your sword gets there before we do? It's going different. It's going a different route. Yeah, but it might still beat us there. That cart's going to weigh us. Guarantee you it won't. Well then if it then then it does. Because we're obviously going to get waylaid because it's us. Yeah, but our the tracking sword that maybe caused some of those problems is no longer with us. OK, yeah, Solaris takes the sword, salutes you guys, and then it rains.

The horses start moving. I don't hate you. Drive a car. That's it. You see the second cart like comes out just behind you and you go about a mile on just on this one road and you know the Annan's is more or less like straight South and you come to like a fork in the road. You carry on going the way that the guy with the map is telling you to go. This cart peels off the other way. We hit a massive. Explosion.

You see a drone. Oh, OK, fine. Yeah. All right. Then I guess so. I'm going to miss that sword. You know you owe me a new sword. You know the bird side, you're a arcade sword. There's like 2D type damage. I know I. Know. But I have a lot of sentimental value to serve us. Right. Happiest shit driving the car. It's just like humming Yankee Doodle to himself. Ribs getting under the bench sheets and having a nap. So ick. What song that isn't racially insensitive are you singing? Even Yankee Doodle's not that great.

I am singing. No national anthem. Home on the Range. I guess it's OK, it's not explicitly. Racist, not racist. It's old enough that it won't be covered by copyright. It's so we're safe with Home on the Range. OK, I'm singing Home on the Range. The range was stolen though, wasn't it? OK, so maybe just hum. Hum hum. A nice tune. Anonymous tune. Ick. Yeah. Hum your fucking tune.

Make a perception check as you hum along. Unnatural 20. Nice. So as you're humming along. I'm very perceptive for a humming racist. One of the the guy sat next to you kind of like slaps you on the shoulders is what's that over there? And you see cresting a hill coming up above you and then coming down the hill to like on an intercept path to the road, you see what looks like a bunch of dog men. Shit. Riding wolves. Dog men riding wolves. That's a crazy thing to say. Yeah, so they're not dogs. It's.

A crazy thing to see. They're hyenas and you hear like whooping hollering of Knowles, like the ones you fought. Before hide the Prince. Riding. I'm in a bench seat. He's just better out of the way. Riding walks. He actually fights well. Maybe we can just like not. I mean, they're going for you. They're mindless, slathering animals. Oh, oh, oh, wait. OK, vicious mockery. You can roll A bunch of knolls are coming out of the hills to attack your cart. Roll initiative seven of these knolls riding giant hyenas and they come to attack.

Two of them attack 1 is going to shoot now. Fuck it. Both of them are going to shoot at the front of the car. They're going to shoot at the guy next to Ick. The guy next to it dies. He gets shot by a couple of arrows from these howling knolls. How many feet away from us are they? They have closed it on you, so you're now driving the car. This guy sat next to you, He's got a couple of arrows. Riff, you're up first. I would like to get to a place where I can hit the most in a 15 foot client. Yeah, if you just fire off the back, I reckon you get like three of them.

Yeah, they're like surrounding. You so that's plus their their hyenas, the nose plus the hyenas. Yep. I tap my shoulder, I go and I cast Dragon's breath on myself and I am going to use. It no way. Pick fire. Yeah, you can hit three of these things. So they all fail miserably. So they all take how much they're. Gonna be taking 11 damage each. Pick you're up I'm. Gonna use. Okay. You just came out of left field. That's yeah, yeah. It's unusual for him to do something useful. A loud noise erupts from a point of your choice within range.

Each creature in a 10 foot radius sphere centred there makes a constitutional saving throw, taking 3D eight Thunder damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. Who are you aiming for? So you've got the three at the back of the cart, which would be hard for you to do because you're driving the cart. You've hit the two that are on the front corner by you. Because they're more than 10 feet. Yeah, but the other ones not. Yeah, OK. So let's do that. So, OK, cool, right, cool.

And they both fail. 12 Cool. Nice. Anything else? Right, I'm going to do Mantle of Inspiration. Everyone gets eight hit. Points, Prince. Are they temp or are they? Yeah. Cool, So Air crassly puts the reins in his teeth. I don't know. Can you play a bagpipe? I can sit on the reins, like shove them under my ass. Yeah, car shatter these knolls and the knolls eardrums shattering inspires everyone and you get some temporary points. I think you all by surprise. Now you're up. All right, number out of the back of the waggon.

Well, you know, I stand up on the edge and I lunge at one of the knolls. You go off the back you can hit one of the ones that rib fire breath. OK. Yeah. OK. So you're lunging OK off of the moving cart. Off of the moving cart, OK onto the back of the wag so I can take out the Knoll and then have my hand mount. OK so roll to attack the Knoll first. Are you sorting or are you doing a grapple to move? I won't like. A body check. So it would be, yeah, it would be. It would be a strength check because I'm just going to.

Go just not going to do it opposed to strength check. Unnatural 20. OK, Yeah, 10 feet is 12. Yeah, you launch yourself off the back of the car and drop kick this fucking goal roll. I guess with a 20 I'll let you like land on the hyena's back but roll an animal handling to try and control it. 16. Yeah, OK, guys. Yes, that nose dead. Excellent, right? Does my does my walk not have an action? Probably don't. Know how? Mounted combat works. Try and convince. Well, you go try and convince it to attack another Knoll.

Yeah, OK, Liberals 16 walk hyena, giant hyenas. Giant hyenas. The bell jumps off the back of the cart, drop kicks the Knoll. He goes flying away into the dust and then grabs the reins of this giant hyena and steers it into another one. And as they come close to each other, it kind of like bites. It's sort of neighbour. Riff. I'm a badass.

Now. Ick and riff, you're on the car, so make a dexterity safe Fell nice. So as Bell is doing this, the road fears right. Ick, you weren't really paying full attention. And as the road turns right, you suddenly have to like yank the reins, you both ick and roof kind of like flop over with the G force and you crack your head on the side of the sea or on the just fall into the cart where God take damage. This is no weirdly enough, cart does take damage. Ick. Pay attention. Well, I was thrown off by Bell riding a fucking hyena.

That's pretty badass. That's not my fault. Gonna have to go through that. Here's that a bad idea. I wouldn't recommend it. That is the nose's turns, the ones that Ick attacked are going to attack Ick. Fucking hell, that rolling today. So one hit, the other one rolled free, he does 10 damage and then since there's one at the back that's going to take a swipe at Bell, it's terrible. That's. A 14? Nope. Damn it. The Prince starts to stand up and goes. Should I get a bow? OK. The two at the front one's going to attack the cart with his bow.

He hits the cart with his bow, the other one's going to attack it and that hits. How much HP does the cart have? You don't know and it takes 4 damage. You don't fucking know.

Sorry, that was fun. Rev, you're up. Your target has been split in half like that now. Yeah, thanks. I'm going to cast chromatic. Orb. Cool, I'm gonna use Tides of Chaos to roll with this with advantage to hit. Cool. And one of the ones off the back of the car. Yeah, cool. That's a 1516. Let's just hit 1718 18 so. 15 was just. Have much longer to go 1920. Stop it. He's dead, OK. And then I will roll my world magic. Yes, 99. Roll 1D6. There's a one. You regain 2D, ten hit points, 13 nice you hit 13 hit points, right Ick, you're up.

You got 2 off one side that are shooting arrows at you and then there's one on the other side so you can hit 2 again. OK. Two that you hit before, let's do that. OK, so that's a 10 and 11. So that's two fails plus. 5 is 11. +4. It's 15. Yes, thank you. One of them dies, this thunderous sound, and he gets flung from his hyena, and the hyena kind of like tails off. He runs off into the woods. How rope he is the other one the. Other one's looking pretty fucked up. OK, as that happens, cart hits a rough patch probably caused by all of the explosions from shatter.

So everyone on the cart make a strength or dexterity save. 14. OK, you're right. 17. OK you're fine. So the cart takes another 10 damage from the wheels cracking into all of those like rough terrain but you guys managed to keep it round. As this happens you see a pair of giant hyenas come off of like a side Rd coming up just behind you and they are towing a cart and on the back of that cart there is one of these knolls and he has mounted on his cart a huge like ballista crossbow. Guys, whatever we do, do not damage the cart, damage the people.

I'm on it. The hell you're up. How far away is the second car? Not far away. It's just behind you guys. Like it's, it's literally it's come behind and it's like pulled into range to just fire at you. I pull back on the reins, slow my hyena down, circle back around, and I jump the second lunging attack to the the car. Only this time it will be with an attack. It won't be. It will actually be an. Attack cool rolls a hit. 20. Yeah, that would hit. 15. He yelps and jump onto the thing and slash him.

Second one to kill. No, I won't. Never mind. The nose as turns. There's one at the front of Victoria, rolls A10 to hit Ick, which misses. Another one's going to attack you. God damn, it's a knife. And then other one's going to attack Riff. I really wish these guys had better attacks. That's a 10. And then the one on the big ballista, I really want to shoot the car. He's going to fight Bell. OK, He's makes 2 attacks with his bone whip, A-15 and A191 hit. Just six damage. OK, Riff. My go. So there's still one behind.

There's still one US and the ballista. Yeah. OK. I want 2 bonus action dragon breath. An 11 and a 14. 14 saves the. 11 The Knoll. Saves not very much 5 S 2 for the Knoll. Does he look hurt? Yeah, the Knoll, Yeah, he's been like fire breathed quite a few times. Yeah, for sure. How's the guy on the ballista looking? He's been hit, but he's still looking fine. Fantastic. So I'm going to cast which bow on him, OK? No, no, I reckon Bell can do him in one. Try to chaos again. Cool advantage in. 18 plus something Yeah, so it's 2D12.

Fucking hey, how? Good, they made this spell. That's an 8 and 11, so 19 damage and then I will roll for wild magic. Spectral Shield hovers knee for the next minute, granting you a plus cheek bonus to AC and immunity to Magic Missile. Fucking hell. So my armour clock is what now? You're up. Fuck you. There's one on each corner ahead of you and then there's one right at the back which you can't really see, and then there's the ballistic thing which is right behind you and you definitely can't see that.

Which is fine because I'm taking care of that. Touches in a while. And it will be quite effective as well. There's one on each corner, so the. One on the left, the. One on the left, OK. Knock, knock.

You're. You're poo. I'm not. Poo how do?

You OK? It makes a Wisdom save. Crazy. It rolled at 2:00. He's clearly a moron. So on a fair say it has the pruning it falls off of. Its like, you know, laughing as you do that there is a corner and you're so busy yelling a joke at this hyena guy that you don't notice that the road turns sharply and you hit. You go like off the curb and for a hedge row the crowd is bumpy. The car takes 10 more damage. It's starting to get a bit bad up now though. You're up. Yeah, I'm going to kill the guy on the bus.

You can try. Fucking watch me. Let's go. I'm natural. 20. Yeah. No Hit 17. Cool. Yeah, you killed this fucking guy. Oh. No fucking told you ow bitch. You brought him through. Grave I have cannon. There's the one at the back of the car is gonna shoot at Riv. I roll a 16, take Riv. My IC is currently. So that hits, yeah, yes. He finds a weakness in it and he does 10 damage and then the other one at the front is going to attack Dick. He rolled A5. Riv, you're up. I'm gonna pass Magic Missiles 7, but you still not dead.

My God. It's just about alive. Fuck you. You're up. Yeah, boy, 2 guys. They've got one right to the front of you and one right at the back of you. Yeah, I'll do touches. Again. Yeah, you know, make him laugh touches. Have you got a joke for this slathering monster? Knock, knock. Who's there? Control freak? Control freak who? Why? Hey. Rolls of Wisdom, safe rolls of 14. I got it, but it's not very funny. Ah oh. I can't do anything. Else, no, that is Bell's turn. Right, I take aim at the the hyena that Rev is having difficulty trying to kill.

The ballista has +6 to hit. +6 to hit. Yeah, and it does require another action to load and then another action to fire, so you can get one shot. OK, I suppose the 12 misses. It is hyena. Yes, perfect. Fantastic. I'll say it's big enough, it fires a big enough bolt that. You do both of them well. I was specifically aiming for the hyena. Of course you will. Yes, you hit the hyena. It's 3D ten to hit that hyena. 14.

Yeah, you fire this bolt, you miss the guy riding it, but it hits the ground directly in front of this fucking hyena and just like straight through, it just impales on this fucking thing. The Knoll on the back goes flying off of the front face first into the dirt. He is down. God, thank you Belle. Welcome. I don't know if I said this before, it is a really cool blister. That's the one at the front. He's the only one left. Oh. The car finds the road again, jumping off the verge back onto the track.

No one rolls. Everything's fine. You're back on the road. The second car with the blister is that being does that being controlled. That was just being towed by a couple of hyenas. You didn't look at who was controlling it. The one at the front. He's gonna shoot at Ick. He rolled at 12 to hit Ick. It does 11 damage. Rib, you're up. Make a perception check though. 17. OK, you turn around to face the front because that's where the last novel is. And you see, like ahead, the road is coming up to like a bridge over like a ravine.

Incredible. And then fuck it, I'm going to use Ties of Chaos for my advantage to Beautiful. That's 18 plus yeah, 7 damage to that. Seven damage kills. It that's dead. You have two rounds left to save Bell, to save Bell on the back of his car. OK, it is now, but well, it's X turn. He's on the car. He just has to drive. He's OK. Bell, you're on the back of this car. You haven't looked to see how it's steering. Yeah, yeah, make a quick perception check. Yeah, just look 16. Yeah, 1718. The rains coming off of these two giant hyenas go up and they're like wrapped around the bases that stand the ballistas on.

It's easy enough to grab them and steer. You take control of the carts. All that fucks. Oh, you're gonna leave me to door? You're gonna leave me to door? Dramatic. You would of, yeah, you bitch. You're right.

I have no law of things to you. I'm joking. I wouldn't have like you died. It would have been too. Quiet would have left it right to the last fucking minute, but she wouldn't have let you die. Yeah, I've got to make it. Dramatic. You go across the bridge, you race across still at full Pell. As you get across this brick the ass bridge, you slowly bring your cars to a hot devastation. Broken nobodies. That is where we're in the episode. I got a molester. Thank you everybody for listening to that. I'll probably be able to stitch it together to make something listen to able.

Yeah, something possible in there? Yeah. Anyway, next session, yeah, I'll let you level up. No fucking way. Level 5, she was absolutely. Fucking miserable. Do you know what you were doing when I looked up you? You literally look like this. Yeah. We levelled up and you're like, yeah, fucking yay. Well fucking you just be like 15 episodes of shit. Fucking. Ridiculous. Yeah, like, great. Subscribe if you feel like it. Yeah, try to be nice. Share, comment all all of the stuff that we're supposed to say, all that good shit.

Do the work for us. Thank. You make number go. Up. No. Thanks for listening. Hi. Bye. See ya.

This is what happens when Sam like he has a collection of naughty books at moms. I'm not a fan of Noddy, I find him kind of creepy. When we have Williams boys over, we watched quite a lot of Paw Patrol and at Carl's Brothers we watched an exorbitant amount of Peppa Pig. Paw Patrol was OK initially. They followed them the same trap that all kids TV shows have where they have they have different, no, they run out of cringe episodes. So then there's like a dinosaur spin off and then there's like AI think they're like Knights or something spin off.

And then there's one where they all have planes and like Sky, don't get me wrong, she is a twat, but her only superpower was being able to fly plane. Yeah it's like suddenly deciding they're all builders. But then Rubble gets his own spin off show where he's with a different paw patrol and again, they are actually all builders. Except instead of doing all of the construction work like he used to, he now does a specific thing and everyone has their own niches, which, don't get me wrong, is more realistic to an actual building.

Site Television was Bob the Builder. It was brilliant. It had wit. It was funny. It had sarcasm.

Yeah. Well, all I really learned from our time in Wales is that Peppa Pig is a massive bitch. I believe that. She's a Dick. I can see that.

Panatheon 28: Ambush

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