Panatheon 34: The King

Hey everybody, Matt here to tell you all that this March is Endometriosis Awareness Month, and obviously as a CIS white man, I'm the most qualified person to tell you all about it. Endometriosis, or endo, is a horrible disease that affects roughly one in 10 women, causing fatigue and crippling chronic pain, otherwise known as life altering agony. In some cases it can get so bad it can even lead to surgery, such as hysterectomies. I actually know multiple women myself who suffer with this condition, including our very own Maria Nicholson.

And yet, despite affecting so many women worldwide, the condition is hopelessly under researched. The average wait time for a diagnosis in the UK is 9 years and four months, which is insane. So this much. We urge you to look it up, learn about it, discuss it with people you know, and then maybe if you feel like it, donate to a charity that funds awareness or research, such as endometriosis. Hyphen uk.org. Thanks everybody. You said the six were annoyed. Hello. Louder. Hello, Louder. Yeah, louder.

Fuck, it's.

Too loud. That's too loud. OK, the. Little. Hell scream hi. Welcome everybody. Yes. You got thrown off. I will try to do it normally. Back to another episode. What was that A6 or A9 hosted by me, Alex one day? I'm so excited to. I don't know what you're going to DM, but I look forward. To no both of them. I'm D Ming, My Little Pony. Oh yeah, shit. But. Are you? I don't know. Yes, I wouldn't be in My Little Pony. It's a lady. Listen, Apple crack. Apple Crack. I've got that. Go fucking bronies. Yeah, I want to be a pony.

I want to be a pony. Yeah, that's fair. Unspelled jammer. We'll go from My Little Pony to space. Ponies. Yes. I don't know. Space doesn't like capture me. I fucking love. It I want to I want to. Space, says the girl with planets on her socks. I wanted to be an astronaut. Anyway, but space doesn't capture her. No. Anyway, hello and welcome to is that a six or nine? And now it's D&D podcast made by fucking idiots. My name is Matt Gore, I'm D Emming. I'm joined by Maria Nicholson. I'm playing it crassly 'cause tickling my phone.

Carl Nicholson guys, keep it in the bedroom, not in here. No hygienic. Yes, Daddy. Sorry Daddy, don't. Call me Daddy. That is the end of. The podcast Forever. Thank you. That's really cool. Oh well, he's Daddy panky, no? That's right, no. Daddy. He's also a daddy. Yeah, anyway, who is who is who is Scott as a big I'm. Playing Belcephalus. OK, not as an adult, no. And Asmodeus Sinclair. Beautiful. This session I'm going to be. Daddy Rivi. I'm going to be the DM, So what? Thanks, OK I'll use your cool ass like that stick that we've just looked up the stats for.

I've got to stop doing random loot. It's either completely shit or absolutely. Fucking broken. I think it's broken. Oh no, you wouldn't. Sorry, Mr Helm of Brilliance. All I have is a cloak, so go fuck yourselves. You got a spider man cloak you initially. Run off the walls. And shit it's ridiculous, like you can only cast web once but you guys just hide on the ceiling. Oh spide it also. Changed my mind. I don't want. To play the DMI. Want to be Archimedes this session please. You've had to talk about this like this.

OK, OK, Can I be a cowboy? I'm going to be a cowboy in our next campaign. I'm going to do a cowboy accent. I'm going to talk my names. I'll have to cut it out. Actually, I bet you don't do that. Anyway, I know I'm going. To be a cowboy and I'm. Like, yeah, you got to use my voice. I use. You're going. To be a cowboy pony, yes. Yes, Dallas. You're going to be a pony that rides a pony I'm. Going to be Dallas the Cowboy Pony Incredible. It's going to have a Dallas Cowboy star and it's romp and wear a cowboy hat.

Nice. Yeah, fuck this. Let's do that. I know who are you playing? Boring you have to do it could be alchemy. You have to use my 2 flower. Voice No, no, no. Do you know what? Actually, I changed my mind again. I want to be the Prince this session. OK, let's you have to talk like the guy from Krusty Burger. I think I could be the Prince. No, no. You are if. You're welcome to cross the broker. Have you sick? You're older This. Is just a very specific. So do you have? To I'm going to be ripped rise.

Up and we. Have Blazers? Ten years in the future, why? Are they so like I'm not difficult and edgy right now? Oh my God, I was going to give you a thing. Today, that's fine. What? Do what? Well, should we get into it and find out? Yeah. Before that, should we do a recap? Sure. Do I remember what we're doing? Yeah, I hope so. Last time in. Panatheon, you guys were in the aftermath of the battle of the Palace in Ammons Where Ammons Can you not make any noise? What about? You I was like, I saw the phone going on I. Thought it was like a chain story thing outside.

Why? Why break tradition? No one's using any power tools in the background at the moment to pretend my neighbour screaming profanities is 6 year old niece. Whoever.

Whoever it was, anyway. After. The we're doing the recap last time in you guys were in the aftermath of the Battle of the Palace of Adams Riv and it Grassley went to go and investigate Pancreas tighties office and found some seriously sweet blue as well as a bunch of notes about things that he's been doing in the country. Lots of shipment details from Anna's to Taz Maiden as well as some Intel on other places around the Kingdom. Bell headed into town with bronze masks at the head of Pancreatitis.

He visited an old blacksmithing buddy of his where they tried to work out what was going on with these masks. Although they didn't find out much, they did find out that they were infernal of some kind based on the markets and the fact that when you put them in a fire they not only did they not burn, they seemed to gain more power and scream. He then went to a workers house shop brother and freaked the guy out by asking him to tan panchitis severed and slowly rotting head. That guy was into bondage.

So fucking it's my fucking trophy. I don't want it to rot. There's. No shame, I'm just. Saying You then all gathered in the Prince's War room to have a council meeting with the various elders and people that have fought alongside you. Archimedes, naturally, Freamas, Cilla, even Soleridos, as well as Chad. You discussed all of the various things in various orders like it was very much a instead of here's .1, let's discuss that. It was here's one thing, then another, then another, then back to the first thing, then to a different thing.

Then let's do this. And then Riv left to go and interrogate, I guess her sister Shiv, whilst those that remained in the meeting witnessed. I can beat Jesus strip tease at the behest of Ick and Bell. However, you did prove that he doesn't have a Thanatos mark on his body, so that's something in. The most demeaning way you can find. Rather than ask him to take him to a side room or whatever. Let's just do it. In the Council in front of all of these. People. Jesus, but you also laid down plans for a sick coronation ceremony and plans to kind of reform, piss or at least root out any about traitors making communications with neighbouring cities and possibly whatever the hell is going on with Cherise.

Riv headed down to the dungeon to go and meet her sister Shiv, where they had a bit of a heart to heart. Shiv revealed her frankly fear that she'd fucked everything up in her attempts to just try and become anything in her mother's eyes, before revealing that if as much as she knows a little bit about pancreatitis and Cherise, she doesn't know as much as a fellow captain in the prison, SATA. In a cell and press. The corridor, his name. So you, you all got very excited thinking you knew who it was.

It's not who you think it was, it's her mum. But we do a little bit of a time skip. Here is she hot? God, yes, yeah. I mean, she's a Satan. She has goat legs. So I mean, to a point. Especially what you're into, I guess. Like I said, no shaming. Maybe I'll understand Shora better. So yeah, we'll do a little bit of a time skip because Alex's. Leg with my foot. We'll do a little bit, no judgement. We'll do a bit of a time skip because everything that goes on like now, it's going to be basically administrative and that's going to be boring.

So a week has passed since the Battle of the Palace. A type of normality is beginning to settle across Annan's as people grow increasingly excited about the coronation that is happening tomorrow. Nobles from all across Panatheon flow to the city, bringing gold and opportunity with the marked absence of Sitia, Elphis and Kasmaydin, who either declined to send representatives or simply didn't answer the call at all. Meanwhile, inside the palace, Zilla has spearheaded the investigation into PISS, rooting out any sharesens, of which there are a surprising number.

They've been arrested and they are being interrogated. However, the main core of officers and so on are all still there, so there isn't a huge threat at the moment. They think it's good. Mostly there were low levels, so that's something. Primos and Archimedes study the death masks as well as what's left of pancreatitis body. Clerics have been brought in to cast spare the dying spells on his body to stop it from decomposing, and they're hoping that if anything was going to happen to it, this will stop that from happening.

The masks are clearly infernal, although there seems to be something tying them to this plane of existence. Shiv has actually joined them, trying to share what she knows and help in any of the spells and rituals that they're doing to try and figure out what the fuck's going on here. The captive SATA that was in the gaol, Fellatia Cleotora, an escaped Cherissen priest, fills in what she knows mainly if there is a temple in the West, a home to Sata's who once worshipped a nature God or a nymph, in fact, not even a true God.

Charest, a wife of Dionysius, someone who was regarded as being important for things like harvest thing, mostly grapes, wine, that sort of thing. It's part of Dionysius's kind of realm of control, if you like, and Charest was kind of the administrator of making sure things grow properly. However, the temple has become a hive of necromancers and cultists. She had actually escaped the cult and come to Adams to ask for help to prevent a ritual designed to empower shares on this plane. However, Pancreatitis was already there so he just threw her in a gaol.

But she has spent the week imploring the Prince to help save her community and her daughters to a part of the ritual that she fears. Meanwhile, Chad and Ick are busy organising the party under the stern observation.

However, we join the party on the streets of Anne's being led. By the Prince. He's excited, he's skipping, leading you to a mystery location, and that's where we are now. So while we're all together guys, just a recap of what you'll be doing in the concert tomorrow. Riff you'll be on Tambourine Bell, you'll be on Cowbell. Not enough songs have cowbell. The simple All you got to do. Yeah, there's a lot of crushing going on. It's. Pretty cool. All you got to do is keep rhythm. The reason you're there is not to embarrass you.

It's as you went in the room. Riff is to explain to you that when we do the military parade before the concert, it means his army is going to be in front of him, which means that he's open from the sides in the back. So by having you to one side of the Prince also on stage of us performing Prince, you can play whatever instrument you like. Bell the other side of him. You're basic. You're you've got an instrument that you just need to keep a basic rhythm with because you're going to be looking at the crowd and keeping an eye on the Prince, OK?

The same could be achieved with us just being given official titles. No, that's like really awkward. You can't just ask for official titles. Just just. Boy, as the man who kept you alive. Bell, Bell. I'm willing to put in a good word for you for a. Minimal fee, Brad, you. Both know you're going to end up coming around to my way of thinking, so let's just save the 20 minutes of rambling and say you're going to do it, yeah? I'm not saying that I won't be up there, I'm just saying I will not be playing a musical instrument.

It's a tambourine, you just have to. I reckon you could handle. It so you know what what sounds bad to. You and we won't be if you don't shut up. What sounds, what sounds fair to you, It's really exciting or holding the office of like Arcane in. I like that. Don't let them. Do this. Why won't you just play in my concert? Because you can play your concert and we can be there applauding. And you know to. Be on stage with the Prince. We will be as members of his entourage. But the Prince is performing too.

Oh. And Chad? The Prince and Chad. Don't care. OK, well, we'll put a pin in it. There's a royal. Decree. You have to. Yeah, I'm, I'm seriously considering making it a royal decree. Royal to 26 on persuasion. Yeah, which is why I'm considering it. Look guys, guys, there's a full out dog because I've been working on this all week. I've been working on it actually since we we got back to to Anne's really excited, but it's. Come with me. And like he's you're going downhill and you're heading towards the river and you go into this like district that's all like big warehouses and stuff.

But you keep going firm and eventually you come out to this like Jetty, and there's all these massive ships everywhere. He's like, right, you guys, like we got some serious security issues. There's a lot of stuff we got to do. I need representation around around Patheon. And like you guys, I need you to help me. You guys are going to be the best for it. And I have this great idea. OK well what's the easiest way to get around get around Patheon other than like teleporting and shit boat? Exactly. Oh, what did you say He.

Does have a dog? You should be loving this captain of the 9 Hells. That's right, I don't. Come on, I told you not to. He turns around and he gestures to this huge like quadrary main boat, huge, huge warship. It's got like. Regrets not performing at the concert. Huge bronze like ramming thing on the front. It's got like this like bit of looking creature painted down the side. It's all like black lacquered wood with like gold details on the side. It's got a huge sail towering up above you. You see red all the way down the side of it.

The nine helps.

I know, I know that I thought your previous ship got destroyed in the storm and I felt really bad about it. And you've been really helpful when I thought, you know. It's so, it's so sweet of him. It has a big shit eating grin. Welcome. You know I'm lying. I know. I'm very excited for a maiden voyage on your boat, captain. Yeah. You've always been dubious, I believe. Oh, I use the tech Thoughts. Like you don't know what she's thinking. I don't use the tech Thoughts. I don't need to. She's gone white.

She looks nervous. I feel like I throw a glance at you. There's there's two sides. There's one side of me that is like, Oh my God, I fucked up. And then there's another side that goes that's a really nice boat. It is. You look at it, you can see there's on on the front, there's a couple of massive ballisters, they're like aimed either side and then there's another two like on each side. It's just bigger than your last one. Same scale, same. Scale, of course. You'll be able to captain it no problem.

Let's go on a joyride. That's right, I'm I'm busy sorting out a crew. There's only there's one thing we need to discuss, so we need to figure out the layout. Yeah. And so this is going to be a bastion. Oh, sick. So these are the rules. New rules in 5.5. At level 5 they recommend you get a bastion. What's a bastion? Essentially. Like your little club hangout? Yes. They're my, those are my favourite fucking things. If I play a game, all I want is to build a house. Yeah, yeah, but building a house in one place is kind of boring for especially this, so I decided to make it seems.

Like no. I love this so this. Is everything I've ever wanted. Basic facilities. It has a bedroom and it has storage. So essentially you've got like a deck that's all hammed and stuff that will sort out crew for you. You have essentially a row of slaves that deal over the oars, and then you have people that man sails. We're ancient Greece, it's OK to sell. Slaves. I want to make it really clear that Riv in her head right now while she's staring terrifyingly at this boat she's going. I can learn to drive a boat and.

Captain a crew and captain a crew. I I can do this. I can do this. I am the daughter of Pono. You're fucked. But you, you've got this. You're fine. Yeah, yeah, this, this is nothing new. It's just, you know, I've got a bit of trauma from my last crew. Because of the crash. Because of the crash. Right. Yeah. And you lost all your crew. Lost all my. Crew, right? So you'll be desperate to be captaining of captaining. A. Ship. Again captaining. Yes. So you have like a row of like hammocks where your seamen live.

Yeah. And then you've got like a storage hold. My crew. Yeah, your crew. Thank you.

A boat for the seaman. You can have two other rooms essentially that do different things. So there is an arcane study, there's an armoury, there's a barrack so that you can take on more warriors. So the moment you've just got a crew of people to actually sail the ship and you can decide to take on actual marines or whatever, and to do that there's a garden. Oh my God, I love. That where you the. Biggest this fucking thing. You know we have to pick 2. Big 2 so. We don't just get all of this. But there's a garden what picks the boat.

Well, yeah, so the garden lets you, I mean, one of them, there's like a menagerie or something.

So yeah, basically you can harvest plants. There's a library level 13. You can buy a pub. The problem? Sick. Now that is very much like the old Night House. There's a sanctuary, a Smithy so that you can improve weapons and armour that you have there apparently, or a storehouse which you can just fill with trade goods and then you can go to somewhere else and sell those trade goods. Tycoon style A or a workshop. If you spend a short rest in your workshop, you gain heroic inspiration. I'm. Thinking either the library or the arcade study.

I was thinking both. You don't want armoury, you don't want like. When you level up, you can buy bigger, you can buy more rooms, but it costs quite a lot of money to do that. It's. Up to you, I I mean, or we could go with. I mean, it's not my boat. No, no. But we could go with. We could go with. One you're the captain, you know what boats need to sail efficiently. I will just start believing it. I either one of those and then a storehouse so that we're making money to then get other rooms.

Yeah. What's the current position for the Treasury? At the moment you just have like a a. Whole Oh no, I'm out for Annan's. Both. For Annan's, they have a reason to pour that money. It's the capital city of the country. They're doing all right. So what do you want to do? A library and an arcane study then. We're going to buy more when we need more. Yeah, Tell. Me. OK, we'll do. Yeah, the arcane study in the library. OK, cool. Yeah. So yeah, he's like. All right, great. Awesome. Yeah. You want to check it out.

Yeah. Great. You go up the gang blank and it's like the HMS Victory where it is now, where it's all like Immaculate. It never looked like that when it was in use, but this does. Little bit of PTSD comes to mind. Last time I was on the boat didn't end well. Brand new, it's all like state-of-the-art. This is I mean, it costs quite a bit of money, but I. I because I. Believe in you. I go over to the Prince and I put my hand on the shoulder and I go. This was a really, really lovely gesture. Thank you.

Yeah, I mean it. And he goes over the bow. He's like. I don't know if you recognise this. In the middle of like right at the front of the deck is the ballister that you stole from the nose. So you've got all of these like, like gleaming, beautifully oiled ballisters like around the ship. And then you've got this one giant thing that's made that like bone and sinew. That's really that, that, that, that. Come on. I don't have words. Yes, yes. Beautiful. They've also set you up a room where you can hang all your tan skin.

I have one tattoo that has been invaluable to us. Come. Ahead, come ahead. Can I? And where is the captain? 'S come with me and I because I don't know anything about boats. This quad rain is more or less laid out like. A regular pirate ship. So you go towards the back of the boat towards the poop deck and underneath the poop I guess is like the big door, like where the where the stairs go up the sides and it's up where the wheel is. Go under underneath the poop roof. On the southern end of the ship is where the helm is.

Behind the helm is the captain's quarter. Do. You have the bow, bow and the stand. What about Southern?

We don't know anything about boats, people. Well, I remember because I know you got you got port and star, but I could never remember what up and down is. I only know because I watched a new documentary on the Titanic yesterday where they've 3D mapped all the debris around it and you can see like the boilers and everything I've seen that it was. Really good. Fascinating. Because I'm a historian and I find it interesting. I just boat hit a rock or whatever. Now it's dead. Like no. It's about. All the people involved are long dead.

It's about the engineering history of the boat, not about the teacups. I don't what are we learning from that other than that they didn't know what they were. Doing Don't trust the Irish. They didn't know what they were doing. Northern Irish. We did. We didn't know what they were doing. Barely not they did. Their unsinkable boat fucked it. Yeah, no, this is what you should watch anyway. Like you can't argue with an idiot on my boat. You do notice just in front of the wheel, like on the top there is like a weird platform and it's got like glass circles in the ground around it and the press is like.

Go stand on that. OK, yeah. And you stand on it, so you just stand on it. Lights shine up from the spot and they start like twirling around spotlight style. Sorry, and this isn't going to blind me when I'm trying to drive the ship. Yeah, well, we were running. Into Night Fever. How much did you spend? Well, we don't have to worry about that.

Yeah, so you go to the captain's quarters. I well, I first I, I go up to the wheel and I very performatively put my hand on it. Immediately times. I go home, then I can't walk. Away, away or shuffle. Yeah, I'm shaking like a leash.

Yeah. So yeah, you go to the the captain's office and you've got like a big round table in the middle with kind of like maps. And like, at the moment it's all nice and tidy. There's cabinets all lining the walls that are all sort of like filled with books and like decampers of wine and stuff. There's a couple of like armchairs around. There's clearly room for like all of you to be in there. And then there's a desk right at the back with like a big window at the back of it.

So your desk is like in front of the window your. Desk has a little like placard that says like captain.

Yeah, it's got them weird little like ink pots with like pens sticking out of them. Yeah, yeah, really fancy looking. And then there is actually there's a there's 2 doors off to the side and one has Josephalis's name on and one has a Presley's name on. Cute. So you guys could all basically sleep in the fancy quarters? Sit down behind the desk. That looks so. Right, right.

River you are you are you sweating? Well, it's quite warm in here. Who's? Cutting onions. That'll be your personalised Michelin start chef that we have in the galley. That does actually make me cry. We have spent no expense, we've even bought billions of dollars worth of world famous art so we could just pin it to the ceiling, not look after it properly. Oh, say. Again, how much did you spend? Hey, I don't think we need to ask questions, I'm rather enjoying myself. Anyway, that wasn't what I really wanted to show you.

It's nearly ready to go. We're assembling a crew. Yeah. You should probably have a Co captain on board. Like a fast. You see, Chad? Puffs his chest out, hands and hips. What? Absolutely. Not a first mate, you don't even know the lingo. She's a captain. You can say what she wants. I'm pretty sure she knows what the rules are. Don't. Help her. I mean, she is, she is a captain. Come on in, take her out for a spin. I. Don't have a crew? I don't have anything ready experience. I mean, I've been on many ships in my time.

That's not the same.

I've eaten a lot of chickens. I'm not a chicken. I have taken, I, I've, I have cut off a lot of heads, but I have taken only one. It's never too late to Start learning. Exactly. And it's like, Rev That bullshit, bullshit.

But you don't need. You don't need learning because you already know. Yeah, you're a captain. I'm a captain. You're literally the captain of the 9 Hells. And you know what? We're going straight to the actual 9. Hells, let's go. I don't. Know. Oh yeah, sorry, we have. To get. Them crowned before you fuck off. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, you have your boat. You head back to the palace, the Prince and Chad gaily skipping. We're going to be judged. Oh. My. God, that's the King. Just just just man, just be judged.

We are a judge.

Please tell me you didn't take that turn with me.

The 9D, whatever it is. OK. Well, going to kill him. Chad, yes, yeah. First one downs him, second one kills him. You get back to the palace, Dignitaries have been coming from all over the palace down, and although you haven't had an actual representative sent from Satya Kasmayidan, you have had some people from Elphis turn up and they haven't seen an actual representative because they've got their own shit going on. It's basically what they've said. Their government is kind of collapsing in the city because shit is going down.

They've lost track of their patron God, who is her Festus. So the occupants of Elphis are mostly dwarven. The city itself is Moria style, built into the side of a city, into the side of a sea, built into the side of a mountain. I was just. Trying to imagine a city built into the side of a city. Inception shit going on. They're basically saying that they're siding with the Prince, but they desperately need help. Meanwhile, so as well as obviously Chad from Amnest and Solaridos from Fasse, you now have Asta from Lycira.

I don't necessarily expect you to remember all this. This is just so we know what's going on. So Astor from Lycera is she's a regal old woman. Seems quite wise, if a little sort of like pompish, like very up herself from damn near there is Idas who is this huge like orc warrior woman like Amazonian. She's got like cool like dread. She's wearing like loads of bangles in her arms. She in the past probably would have been looked down on by the council of people running Panatheon, but in this crowd she looks just like a badass.

She has a massive sword on her back. She's missing an eye. She's she's cool. From Helios you have Thales who is a bold younger man. He came wearing armour, but it doesn't look like he really knows how to use it. And from paddock years you have Deodorus, who is a middle-aged kind of like clerical looking guy wearing like simple toga, a white hood over it. But yeah, he seems like just like a sort of like level headed, almost bland kind of guy. But they they have been produced as like the representatives of their city, which is not unusual.

Obviously there's normally a representative, but what the Prince has essentially said is that they're all going to be risen up to more or less the same level as Chad in theory is. So instead of having one guy who's telling them what to do, they have an actual council. The Prince has essentially declared that he doesn't want to be just this like overarching fist that's mashing everything. He wants people helping him. He wants to help. Do it alone. Do it alone. Too many fingers in the park. It's not good.

It's not safe. Yeah, they're they have every day, essentially everyone has been gathering in the council room, war room, whatever you want to call it, and discussing all of the issues that they have at the moment. The main ones are as follows. Satya not only Satya responding to any hails from Annan's, they seem to be actively preparing defence. They're blockading the river. Could in theory you can sail right downriver from Annan's to Satya and back, but they're blockading the river so that people can't get in and out.

They're withholding the taxation that they're supposed to be owing to Annan's. No one can get can get a good read on what's going on. Casmaiden at the other end of the country is for all intents and purposes a rogue state at this point. Again, it's not responding. They basically sent a letter back to the request for a representative say that we don't care, like, no, go away. We're our own deal. And then obviously there's Cheras. So MPs is a city out to the West, kind of near the coast between Lycera and Palakis.

If you see the map, which obviously you can't because it's a podcast, but in my head I know where it is. Which Fellatia? This SATA has basically been begging you guys to go there and help. For what it's worth, Fellatia seems, although a little aloof, like a little strange. She's clearly quite wise. Her daughter's all, she thinks, at risk from this ceremony or whatever it is they're doing. Yeah, that's kind of like the points of order. Is there anything anyone wants to do while we wait for the coronation ceremony?

I'd like to go and find the library. Yeah. And I would like to sit in a dark corner and read as much as I can about boats. Boating for Dummies. Yeah, you find a pamphlet, A moral investigation. Oh. No, OK. 17 OK yeah, you find a pamphlet that's titled So You've Lied About Being a City Captain. Now you're in charge of a. Warship with a picture of Captain Crunch shrugging on the front. Oh my God, I'm. Like I change into one of my costumes, put my cloak on, I'm practising some dance moves like getting the tambourine and the cowbells.

Laying out. For these. Guys. It is feverishly like yelling, like you've never seen this side of him before. He's like, you're looking at like this guy stagehands like hoisting up the stage lights or whatever he's like. No, we don't. No, no, it needs to be you. No, no, over there. Over there. Can I, can I go to Ick? And I'd like to just ask Ick if I can talk to him in the war room for a minute. Yeah, do what you want. I'd like to propose a compromise. You're welcome. A Comedies go away. I'm premised but whatever, fine.

Little Wizards, Little Wizards, Little Women would be a very different book if it was Little. Wizards. Rather than the tambourine, can I do pyrotechnics? Will you come out and like spin some flames or something on a stick like I want you on stage with me? I'll be on the stage. It means a lot that you're. I'm I'm asking if I can be on stage. But just do pyrotechnics. What pyrotechnics? Like fire fireworks. Works or fire there's there's. The definition of pyrotechnic like. Will you? Will you wear a costume?

No. Then no, because where's the compromise? I'm still on stage, I'm still doing. Yeah, but you're just gonna be Moody. I'm not. Being Moody, I will. You're gonna have fun creating beautiful things. But if you're well, will you like, dance around a bit, then fine. Yeah, yes, deal. We shook hands for the listeners. Can you give Bell the tambourine as well? I don't know that he can cowbell and tambourine, no that you. Can get the tambourine with the cowbell. Just get both on the head. Belle happy with the cowbell.

Is there a different instrument you would like to play?

Now I've been thinking this. Is his compromise. This is a war parade. Yes, I wish to lead my battle bothers in vocal chants. You could do it on your way to the stage, but when you're on the stage, I need you to be playing an instrument. What instrument would you like to play? We'll play the drum it. Could be an old war drum. Yeah. OK, but you keep rhythm with the other drummer. The other drummer will be will be keeping in time with me. No, but you're performing my songs fine. OK. OK. If we've got a ceremony booked, Bow, is there anything you wanted to do?

Yes. Thank you Compromises. I'm going off to, I'm, I'm going off to Pancati's office now. I'm going to, I'm going to spend my time in that reading. Or something, but he definitely just fucked off. Shit on his desk I'm. Going. To spend my time reading anything and everything that like all of us, like personal journals. Rooting for anything and everything. Looking for information on Cosmidon, specifically the past. Role Investigation.

No. So I can never fucking find it on the sheet. Not one. No, I find nothing. Yeah. No his. Office is like that. You go to his office and his agents have already removed everything. Does that mean it's coronation time? I think we must be good there. I hadn't planned anything for it so. So as I said. OK, right. So there's nothing in Pegra Taiti's office. We go to the next day. It's time for the coronation. There is like a full feverish festival atmosphere across all of Annan's people like piling into the city from all over the place and start frozen.

Probably play that on piano, but I'm not going to. In the palace. All of the council members are getting all of their like, fancy it crassly label costumes. Ready. There's a guy outside selling merch with my face on. What are they? What are they all wearing? OK, I am in. What are they wearing? Come on IGH, come on, what? What are the councillors wearing first of all? But the councillors aren't performing, are they? So they're going to be dressed as. OK, so councillors fancy. Yeah, they're best. I I was worried IGH was going to make them wear something.

No, no, no, that's a serious bit OK. I need people to take the Prince seriously. I'm just giving them a good time first. OK.

OK. So they're fine. Well, current instinct situation. Yeah, apparently. Lure them in with a big party and then destroy them with tariffs and taxes after. That's what. Trump did. Yeah, I want the Prince to be somewhat heroic. The. Prince is giving off Democratic so we. Love Yeah, yeah, he's definitely going for restricted monarchy. He hasn't voted to remove any of his rights yet, but we're getting there. Anyway. So give me time as everyone is starting to gather on the main like Ave leading up to the palace from the barracks outside of the city, all of the military parade units are gathering together.

You'll gather all of the like military parade units are all gathering outside the city gates. And there's loads of people around like watching the muster. But there's like this big space in front of the city. The bell goes down there with his with his wardrobe and gets ready to lead. He has brought the gladiators that fought alongside you at the palace. You're all wearing like gleaming breastplates. You're all in like 4 like bronze breastplates with like little cloaks behind you. You've all got your weapons like on you.

You look like beautiful ceremonial shit. You've all got laurels in your hair, like around your heads. This last like 2 weeks, Bells growing out of hair and is now wearing a top knot. Yeah, he is. I can't believe my husband has a hair band. I. Mean that's a rat tail. They can make a top hold. On no no rat tails, no no ponytails, no top knots, no buns. Immediately behind you are the mounted Dassein units that for as well you get pride of place and then coming in behind you are units from Lycia damn near Helios Paliques.

The drum beat picks up the crowd. Cheers. Ickrashly themed fireworks start firing in front of the gate as yeah RIB runs through the crowd firing spells up into the sky. Ships on the other side. They're doing it in tandem, so. Cute. Yeah, right. She's trying to like pull it around. I'm. Glad she's trying to have an eye I. Feel like over the week we've had like sister time where we've discussed that we really should stop trying to impress our mum. Yeah, she's not healthy for anyone. Toxic as shit.

Yeah, you March through the city, Fireworks going off, crowd cheering. Ribs even just to make it happy. Does a little turn as she goes. Yeah. So yeah, you guys are like Genie style setting off fireworks and spells and stuff as you March in front of this like like party March essentially it's like. Carnival, yeah. Yeah, it is, yes. It's like that carnival. There's like massive war cards with like either pilots of weapons or like gold or whatever stuff that's being offered to the Prince. I've figured out a way to summon the Unicorn that came to our help with the nose.

It just ice. Knife the same spot on the pavement until it comes. We invited the, the guy that we helped, you know, he, we made him like leader of the village. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Huey. Huey the giant has arrived. Huey has arrived from his town. He, he's in a toga. He's like up at the palace already. He's like. We love the AQE. Stoops down by by. I'm so proud. Of him, yeah. Oh. Thanks guys. It was really nice to invite me. Yeah. We love. The Huey. And yeah, you make your way up to the palace and as you enter through the gates, you see this huge stage has been erected in the courtyard in front of the palace.

Most of the like, fancy dignitaries and chair already seated, but there's loads of like, benches and bleachers and stuff all around it, creating this huge, like, stadium effect. The councillors that are all like on the stage already making sure he's kind of like just crouched there, sitting on the floor.

Chad is standing in the middle, just like, clapping his hands, like nodding his head. Don't. Get the This is fucking odd. He's got to get the chant going for me to come out on stage. Yeah. And the the Army kind of like comes in, people are filing in behind them and everyone kind of takes their seats and like the music kind of stops. And then you you hear the the snare though. You see Chad runs out and he holds up this like stone and holds it to his face and he goes. Ladies and gentlemen. And it comes out loud across the whole stadium.

It's like. I am to choose you all to the king of music. I. Come out on stage. I grab the microphone. I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight for the. Preview Coronation. Love you.

As you know, the main reason we're here tonight and we're able to do this is because we recently lost pancreatitis. Our daddy Panky. What a loser this song is for. Him and then we launch into another one. Bites the dust. Yeah, I'm, I'm doing fireworks in time with the like. Yeah, you do a full rendition of that. I've been rolling. For I feel like we should do it performance. Team performance all. Right, worried I got +7. Not one. 27. At 20, yeah, everyone. Knew Nat 20s. Today it it carries the group.

9. Bells nervous. I mean, yeah, no. I get 21 but I did have to use Ties of chaos. OK. Don't worry about that, it's going to be fire on spelling skyly. Around a Nat 20 and I have +7. Yeah, yeah, it absolutely carries the group, which makes sense because he's the one performing. But yeah, you play through some of your biggest hits. Yeah, I'll. Never give you up. Yep, then we're going to eat you up. Then we're. Going to eat you up, then we're going to eat you down. Rumour going to turn around and eat quick through the performance and desperately needs to loop so she's going to run.

So yeah, yeah, you performed some of your best hits. Everyone comes up onto the stage. Prince finally emerges, hands waving. He's just in a simple toga. He's not wearing anything fancy, He's wearing armour or anything. He's just fancy. It's like just a he's looking rich but not like forming it. Lean into roof. That fucking boat review is actually bankrupt to this. Fucking look at him, he doesn't have anything fancy. Yeah, the music slowly dies down as he approaches the the standard of throne has been set in the middle of the stage.

And so all of the councillors and stuff, you guys are all kind of like flanking this throne. When he comes and he stands in front of the throne and he takes the stone thing off of Chad. Chad's like, yeah, don't worry, bro. Holds his hand up back to the stage and see Brad Chester. Like it's like lightly clapping, you know, like finger going. You're like narrowly bro for his stance on the stage. He's. Like, hi, everybody. Everyone's like, yeah, I know everything seems to have come about pretty quickly and it's just much of a surprise for me.

Isn't this for all of you? Probably. I just want to thank everybody for coming out to celebrate this with me. I can't promise a lot. I don't know why. I think this is some tough times ahead. But I got I got a good. Group of people around me. Kind of like all of you guys. Yeah, I, I think compared to what was going to happen if we hadn't killed my uncle, my uncle, we, we're in a much better place. And I think panatheism is on a sound footing to, you know, get get richer and stronger and we will have better lives.

See ya, thanks. Who's got the crown that I'm supposed to wear? I think our comedian should crown him, yeah. Yeah, you see, our community steps forward. He's holding. Who's crowning? It's just a simple gold band.

Yeah, Archimedes goes over the Prince sees himself on the front, and Archimedes kind of awkwardly leans over the back of it. I I crown. The king cooling up the native. And slips the crown over his head. Everyone. Cheers The King. The King. Love live the cake. Love live the cake, dog, live the cake. Your neighbours are gonna think we're insane like. Fireworks shoot into the sky, music blaring, crowd cheering, everyone's super excited. A massive pie goes off into the night. It Grassley does all of the stage performance for it.

It's the longest game he's ever done. We have a new king in Panatheon now. Now begins the hard work of securing. Hopefully you've you've you've started at the top and now you need to work out the foundations is how you're supposed to build anything. But I don't have anything else. Planned. So that's where we're ending the episode. A little arc there well. You don't know where you're going yet, so on my.

Boat that's that's just where that's where the after party. Is RIP doesn't know what she's doing, we end up on the 9 Hells and we end up getting attacked by pirates and our ship ends up sinking and then we just end up doing this whole fucking thing again and there's just a never ending. Site. Oh my. Daughter hell. As as a as a tea fling, a daughter of Hecatter who dwells in the 9 Hells and also a renowned sea captain. I'm sure if knows that it's not that simple to just sail into hell. You have to find an opening I'd.

Love to worry about that next week. Yeah, for now, I don't know what that's going to be like. I didn't really plan anything other than the introduction straw, so hopefully I'll be able to edit that into some kind of episode. Yeah. Thanks everyone for playing. Well done for making the Prince of King come back next time. Like rate. Subscribe visit us at 609 D and d.podview.com. Look us up on Amazon Music, Apple podcast, Spotify, wherever. Look us up on Pod radar. Give us an up vote on there if you can just to help get some visibility.

The best thing you can do is to share with your friends and family and other people. Paint our name on stones and throw them at people. Or if you live in the cold place, urinate our name in the snow so that people pass and see that. If you know how to do sky writing, that's a good one. People always see that. Failing that, just share the podcast with people, throw bricks at ICE agents and come back next time. Bye bye all of the I. Totally. Threw you off.

Panatheon 34: The King

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