Strahd 5: Grand. Theft. Horso.

0:03 In a land plucked from tiny space, surrounded by a fog that lets not escape. Be wary every adventurer for the dangers hidden in every corner. To the castle you must go to throw an ancient evil on your own. But cautiously, he knows you're coming. He smells the flesh blood you're carrying. Trust no one in this land of twilight. And you might survive to see true sunlight against all odds. If you prevail heroes true, they will sing of you to end your tale. But if you fall heavenly, your soul is now trapped.

0:41 High atop a mountain peak sits Ravenloft Key. It's grand old doors open. But you an invitation so tarry not. There should be no delay. The master awaits you this day. Welcome Lords, Ladies, nobles and Sersts, prepare your spirits to be marred as we enter the curse of Stroud. Hello everyone and welcome to Is that A60 9AD and D podcast made by idiots for lack of a better term. It's me. I'm your host Carl Nicholson, and today playing we have Matt Court. If all that kill. Maria Nicholson, I'm. Paying will be shady.

1:25 Alec Sherman. Who? I know, right? Playing Malice Enfield. Are you in character? I feel like you're. I feel like you're in character. I can hear a voice in the back of my head saying fuck you. You know who I am in real life. So comment so. What if the Democrats did it? Prince Andrew, when did you visit the island? No comment.

1:53 Anyway, so yeah, before we, before we, before we go head into the recap, how was everyone's week? I just I on that I saw a really funny Christmas jumper today that had Father Christmas on it and it says it's beginning to look a lot like Epstein did it. Oh, it's begin to look a lot like Epstein didn't kill himself is.

2:14 So one thing he didn't do. I put it in my basket. Oh, let's. See what we're talking? Are we allowed to like the Lost Prophets again yet? What? We literally had this conversation the other day. It's. Too soon, it's. Too soon, but I'm. I'm so desperate. You know what? I'm very much. An advocate of prison doesn't fix anything, but I think they nailed it on this. One, yeah. I'm going to Comic Con next weekend 0. Yeah, she's just going to Comic Con. Which is why you can't record this Christmas present.

2:39 Well, make sure you we need to make a bunch of stickers. I said that. Those post it notes. Find us on Spotify. Just stick it. I'm like. I've made a hashtag on Instagram. Just stick them around. They're gonna be so funny. Go to Comic Con and then the day after I'm going to see a live orchestra play the soundtrack to Spirit Farer, which is a game I love. You should get them to play the soundtrack to this. I could do that now. Is that a six or a nine down? Yeah, I'd go to hospital to. Was it your ball checkup?

3:18 Yeah. Yeah, it was. How was that? Yeah, Snipped. You know what like to A to an extent, like I kind of resented having to wake up early to go to hospital to. Have a stranger fondle your balls, I. Know it wasn't even that, it was just the wank of the cup thing. Oh no, that's more. Or less. I was going to spend my weekend. To see if you have any sperm. Yeah, yeah. Nice. Amazing. It was, yeah. Because I was like, oh, is everything OK? And you didn't reply. And I was like, it's probably to do with his balls.

3:45 You don't need to know. I said, this is the sound this morning when we're getting ready for school because Ruth and I were both there. He was like looking. He was like, is Mummy coming to school with us? He was like, yeah, we have to get you to get you dressed and like you need to go straight into school because sometimes he fucks around before he goes in his door or whatever. It's like you need to go straight in because we've got to go to hospital. What do you mean? Why? Was like, well, mommy's got to find out if that thing on her arm is bad and I've got to jizz into a cup to see if my balls work.

4:08 I. Know he's going to tell the whole. School like.

4:18 Was roofs thing on her arm OK? All right. Amazing. Yeah, yeah. OK, good. I bought a little something for this session just because I could, OK? Proceeds to pull out like a life-size statue of a vampire. There you go. I bought everyone back.

4:41 I bought everyone a mystery set of dice. OK, so pick, pick. We were talking about mystery packs. I think it was last time we recorded. Oh. The pink, the pink, the pink, the pink. So am I. Got the same. I got some like blood red ones. These are nice. They are really cool. Maria and Carl have got the same set it seems. They're like it's. Like average horror E but it's like a nice like pink strawberry. And yeah, they're like, it's plastic, but it's like all of the sides are sort of embossed. Not embossed, obviously, because it's made of plastic as moulded, but they're very.

5:23 They're very well detailed. They're really nice. So yeah, last time on Casa Strata you survived your encounter with the vampire Strad, who really, really has it in for Will for some reason, maybe the fact that he stole from Vastani the only I don't remember that the only people that are like truly aligned and loyal to him so. Find me a witness. I mean he literally pulled out. I've I've just edited that conversation. He literally pulled it out of your fucking pocket. You're a bitch.

6:01 Ivan got bitch slapped by Frost Ray and from my recollections he nearly died. That fucked me right up.

6:11 You were left alone. Not malice. Malice was. Malice was. Don't worry about it strangely. Malice was bravely hiding. Strangely enough, Malice was left unscathed. Why she's? Been trying for the conflict.

6:29 Desperate strangers. You went to the Tavern to lick your wounds and to bring Will back from the brink. You met an NPC called Ismark who then took you to his home, which just have so just so happened to be the home of the burger master, which is kind of like the leader of the town who has been dead for the last three days just lying on the floor. And then you met his sister Irena. Step adopted sister Irena. Oh yeah, we were. In the house, the corpse, right? Yeah.

7:04 Who has been? Disposed of your father's rotting corpse, I. Think it was in the. Corpse on. The floor he's. Lying in state. So you learned that the villages are the villages fear Irena so much that they won't even help is Mark carry the body to the church for official like for all last last like last whites rituals and burial. And you also learned that Irena is the is a target of Strad's obsession. As of late, she has suffered multiple attacks and has been bitten twice, which is why the villagers are so afraid of her.

7:43 Oh yeah, the house is all fucked up, wasn't it? Because she bears a resemblance to Tatiana, you are currently at the South end of the town, or the South end of the village rather. No, we're at the Burger King at the South of the village. We're. We're at pop walking. And you are carrying, you're carrying the coffin through the town to the northern end. I'm not good at math like off the top of my head. So if you guys want to count those squares, oh. My God, what squares? Oh my. God. Are we just trying to say how long it's going to take?

8:17 Yes. 12 squares. I'd say half hour. And every square is 40 feet and you're carrying a well if. You have any of Carl's characters with us, so we won't get distracted by anything shiny. So we should make it, I would say, in about half an hour. Are there any? I'm giving. I'm giving you, I'm giving you an hour. There is in fact a shot by I. Fucking ask.

8:39 We can come back to the shop. I think. You're muted. I'm back. We don't know how long you've been muted. I do because I yeah, all I was saying was that you shouldn't have given us the option to choose how long it was going. To take no. It's my estimate with that, with how you guys travel, it's my estimate that will take you a couple of hours. I feel like you've. Made on Incarnate. It's an official map. If it was it made or Incarnate, I have no. Idea Anyway, if we just go straight, I feel like shopping with a dead body is probably not the way to go.

9:15 Yeah, you're probably right. We should probably. Maybe we drop the body. Off think the burgmasters bought it to the Chapel and then and. Then come back and do what we need to do before we. As as Mark opens the door, we laugh. It's one of our. Favourite Disney movies? I forgot I was wearing it. He was laughing jumper off and he was laughing at me and I forgot that it's my King John one from Robin Hood sucking his stomach. Anyway. I've got a sword in the stone one as well that says he could

9:51 and the sugar pop anyway and the cup overfiring with sugar and it just says when when sorry sorry. Oh well.

10:02 So is Mark holds the door open for you? So we've got the shoulder. As you shoulder carry as we've. Got a cart or something we can use? Is there a cart anywhere? If purposes of awesome cart we could load. This one, here's my regard. He's look he looks around in the mid morning light. Did you happen to see one on your way in reception?

10:28 Can I give you the operation? Yeah, look over there. It's a mess 20. I think I see something OK. I mean, does that look like a horse too? We don't we don't own a horse and cart. So 124 and. D is the one I had just seen on.

10:50 That with when I'm 20, by all means, guys go over to the horse and cart. You go over to the horse and cart the whole the the horse is a black mane with a black Yeah, it's a black mane. It's like a oil oil slick Black Horse and the carriage is also black and it has red velvet like seats on the inside. This feels like something we maybe shouldn't take. Inside this is. This is. Not like Will's rubbing his hands together. Yeah, I'm. Still in town somewhere, waiting for him to go away from. Strad poofed off like a.

11:32 Bitch Will can't help himself. He's like I'm a deadly highwayman. All of you, all of you, Rob said from Jack. Oh, A5, I'm going to stick to my fucking my really pretty stained glass window dice. They're perfect for this campaign, aren't they? Super gossip, gossip. Super gossip. Super gothic. You will. I thought the horse was standing motionless and stock still until you mentioned Strad's name. And the horse ran its head and looked up to the castle. Well, where the castle would be on top of the on top of them the the mountain.

12:08 And it starts to kick. Yeah, kick the duck with its front hoof, I think. This was either belongs to Stroud or it's terrified. Possibly. And the door begins to slowly open in the garage. Oh. No. Strouds maybe the. I'm a gnome, so I'm assuming it's got like standard carriage wheels that are quite tall, and so I've just sort of gone underneath the carriage and I'm hiding behind the wheel waiting for the opportunity to rub the shit out of the carriage. Malice, Can I borrow a dagger for a second? Please of.

12:40 Course. All right, scratch a little cock and balls into the back. This. Must be able to help us track the cars. Possibly at some point it might become that this belongs to. This. Really. Symbol. I endow this part of the holy symbol of the Don Father. I take my. I take my bagger, my dagger back, wipe the Prince. Off it and put it back in my pocket. I should use a soul knife, God damn it. No Prince of a Soul knife I would assume. No, it disappears after you've used it. Perfect. Yeah. Can we say we use a soul knife?

13:20 I mean, yeah, but I'm of the impression that only you can use so. Knife. It just disappears. I'm fine. That's your, that's your use. You're handing it to someone. My printer on her dagger. So it's like, Oh yes, sing, oh I'll. Just yeah, I'll just wipe it down with my sleeve. OK, this seems likely. Well, I mean, we did just you did just. Are we waiting for the person that's inside the carriage to come out? Yeah. There is no one in the carriage. That's right, it's a clear like there are two sets of windows, so.

13:53 You said it. You said it was. Opening the door is slowly opening. There are leather seats on. There are like red leather seats on the inside or red linen seats on the inside. There's no one inside. There's nothing inside. There are there is literally space for up to six people to. I tell you what, we'll be shadiest straight in there. Look at the start on the neck. Are you in? Wait, hold on. Are you actually in? Are you actually inside the carriage? I just got inside the carriage I'm going. To try something shut, the horse rears like a high pitched scream as it shoots out of town.

14:27 Well, we needed that for the will. Where are you going? Can. I suggest we get everything we need done in these town before we go and get will. Oh, bye. Now.

14:45 I feel like as the door slams he throws on the February shoulder. Like what? The.

14:51 Fuck is the face pushed against the windows like out? Is there anything? Good in the garage. There was nothing in the carriage I. Didn't even get to roll to see if I found something there. Was nothing in the carriage is empty Jesus. Someone could have dropped a coin.

15:10 But has it gone? Yeah, it's gone. It's gone. Well, you do a crock of balls on it. Follow it. Fucking hell shall. We sort the body out first. So it was parked, it was parked near the mansion and it bolted east and it and it sprinted east and then it turned up north and has gone into the fog outside the village eastwards. Can I move? I want to. Oh, Cunning Action. I don't. We're not in the initiative. I want to dash, get 60 feet and then I think if I cast ferry fire on the. Ferry fire gives you advantage on the attacking something, right?

15:56 Yeah, but it also makes the target glow. As it can. Follow. It's not a bad shot. I mean I have not the. Only thing I can. Think I don't think I can do anything in this scenario. I mean I could try and hit a wheel. I could try and shoot it as it's running away, yeah. Oh. Shit, so Dash is veritably 20. Right. So I've dashed to 60, so that's another 60 feet ahead of me. Yes. Right, I can reach it with my dagger and verifier. So I could cast verifier on it and then we get both get advantage on it. Try and get a wheel.

16:32 Yeah, OK, cool. So I suppose my question is whilst you're dashing the. Cart has to do a Dexterity saving throw. Can you please, can you please target the horse? I don't know what the fucking Dexter. I don't know what the save is for a car. I think the cart probably doesn't have a dex, probably I. Mean you'd be surprised. Like fucking doors and walls have like like strength saved. I think, I guess maybe. I guess do it as the horses, Dexter. 18 you. Can fuck off. Yeah. It's not going to work. I gotta shoot it anyway.

17:05 Yeah, I'm gonna throw some psychic blades. In it, it's 25.

17:13 Specifically speaking, you hit the horse. The horse Oh no, I didn't mean to. It's a six damage are. We fighting losing battle right now. Maybe we could try and jump out of the cart? You hear this, so you hit. So inside the inside the car, inside the carriage, you hear the you hear like this gunfire. It's like the shop and you see the bullet like Pierce into the back of the carriage and the bullet. We'll look out. The bullet is held in place by Strad. No. I don't like this game. Your friends, they are very taxing.

18:05 Oh, can I cut? I mean, I'm going to throw some daggers as well. Does that. Matter. He's angry. You can throw some daggers. I did get an 18 plus. 16 OK and that? Would be a very different game if you just threw some shapes instead.

18:19 That's a challenge you would do. 8. 9/10.

18:25 The the daggers, yeah, you should just like flail of daggers and they all like search forward and they like start piercing. Like the roof stride looks up just nonchalantly, just casually looks up as the the points the daggers start piercing. This card is 500 years old. It was my ancestors. I didn't card the Dick and balls into it. They watch. They. Didn't. Know about that? Yeah, I'm trying to get out of being murdered, so. Insolence. Say what I want. Do we? We. Don't know he's in there. No, you know we know that, do we?

19:08 You just know that I'm in there. I'm having a really horrible moment. Good luck will good luck. I think we just both just stand there and watch it. Go but. See ya, I just sure I got on it. I'm out of my dears. Well, fuck. Normally that works. I look down at my dress and I brush the dust off and I go. I think we have a body, don't we? Yeah, should we go do the burger master? We'll find it. We'll be shady. Going to be around somewhere. I suppose now is a good enough time as any for you to start praying to something.

19:47 Don't know. You don't respond. I'm not religious, I just stabbed blankly at him. He lanes in like nose to nose. Half of his face is like evaporating into like the mist. I. I kiss him on the tip of his nose. Roll with a disadvantage whatever you do. Yeah, whatever it is. Yes. 3/3. For what? Intimidation. Persuasion. Performance Persuasion. I mean. Stealth like hands. Survival. Survival, yeah. That makes it 6. You hit survivor. When you you like when you go to park and like pack them on the nose. He opens his mouth and they find these large like fangs protrude and his eyes turn blood red as he lunges in for.

20:46 A unless he rolls worse than me, which was a six. I get the kiss. What did you roll? What did you roll? So that's.

21:04 So that's 28. Oh. I was really over. He was going to say it's a nine I. Know he. Goes don't bite you, you just plant one on him.

21:15 I wrote a six. I needed it to be less than six. Well, it is, in fact. It was not it. Was it was more. Yes it was. I bet his thing is a plus. Fucking 6 anyway. That's a + 9 to hit I. Have a + 8 to hit on my pistol and I think that's because I've caught the artery feet as a paladin. And. He began. That's just surprisingly good Dexterity. I want to be a Dexterity. What does he need to hit me? Also with Paladin it's not coming up. Your AC. 01515. Yeah, 20. 828 was going to fucking hit me. I really wanted to kiss him.

21:55 I love these guys. You're welcome. There is, there is. You take. We can do. You take 9 points of. You take 9 points of piercing damage plus. Basically we just sit on the street corner watching this thing rolling away and then his dead body just going. Feel like my. I'm just you might as well wait and do with two dead bodies at the same time, no? Yeah. I'm just staring. Oh, stop it. It's too many. No, it's not. It's too many. You can't do that. It's illegal. I can, but it's against. Nearly rules wait.

22:30 And you take 9 points of necrotic damage. I have turn. Off again. The target. The target it's. Just wait. Just wait for it. Just wait. The target's hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and straw regains hit points equal to that amount. Right. The reduction lasts until. This reduction will last until the target you finishes a long rest. So your Max is, Your Max is 28. Yes, I'm down to 10. It's now 18. Your maximum is now 18. OK, but that's that's all that's irrelevant, right?

23:07 I need to do something in this. Situation I would fight back baby. What a strength. Say it's. Gauge. Try the door. 17 plus Is it the +3 or the plus one plus? 3. 1820. 20 OK, you are able after he sings his teeth into you. Kick him in the balls. You begin to feel like faint and weak but you regain some like sense of will and self lol. Some will and self preservation and you break free from his grasp. Can I do that by kicking him in the balls? You can indeed. I toe punt.

23:51 Other than that one. It's quite difficult to do that when you're sitting down. So you like what you like. Tense up all your leg muscles. And. You go in for this almighty like toe punt of a nut shot and his lower his lower for half dissipates into fog and you just end up kicking the chat. Shit roll up 1. Roll up 1D4 for blunt damage, again on your leg.

24:17 It's nice knowing you guys really hurt. Three. OK, so I've taken another three damage, take another three. I have seven health left do. You think we'll ever see him again? Yeah, we'll come back in town. I guess we go back to the Burger Bastard's house. Yeah, I, I don't know, I think we stand there for like a decent amount of time, just like, I don't know how. It's Mark like already watching it going into the distance just like.

24:45 This mark is speechless. I and I mean. It's like still struggling to drag the fucking COVID into the. Door I feel like God. Does not know what just. Happened. I lean forward and put my hands on my knees. I feel like there's a lesson to be learned from this, but I'm not entirely sure what it is. Don't be will be shady. Don't be into fucking carriages that open on their own. Yes. Ah, crime doesn't pay if your Grand Theft cards. Great deft wars. Something. If you're, if you're, if you're wondering where, where that that where it's going, I can, I can tell you.

25:24 I think we know space. Is like pale white. I think we know where it's going. Yeah. Should we perhaps bury your father and then we deal with the consequences afterwards? On the bright side, Strad is not going to be around around for this, so at least he's not going to get in the way probably. Say for you you to come and say your goodbyes.

25:52 Probably for, probably for the best. Your father was was your popular leader. He. Was a well loved man. I just I'm is it worth because? Like well enough. Is it worth trying to have a proper a proper send off for him? Get some of the townsfolk involved perhaps? And as he, as he looks into town, as he looks into town, he weighs up the current stigma surrounding the family visibly. Irena.

26:24 They won't, they won't. They, they, they, they, they won't come. They will honour him, honour his passing their own way. They don't they, they fear us. They, they fear. They fear Irena, you see. Fair enough? Well, let's get moving. Your father. I have a zero to strength. I hope you're feeling strong. Yeah, I've got -1. Neat why I was looking for a card. Oh yes. Retroactively speaking, this might affect this might affect like the speed and stuff, but I don't care because we're already in like in mid scene but the the horse and cart is actually 2 black draft horses under strata control that.

27:13 Would have been so funny if I tried to imagine if we had actually LED him away and put the burger Buster in the fucking cart. What would have you done? I can't be any worse than what's happening now I suppose. Anyway. Anyway. We will leave the two of you struggling under the weight of a dead man. It's got to be something we can do to make this easier for us. Towards the tower, towards the church. Oh, a barrel, right, a barrel. Can I look for a barrel? Can I do a perception check for a? Barrel perception check on a barrel.

27:48 Alternatively you can go to the. You can go back to the inn. I've got a 15, I've got a 15 for Let's Go to the Inn. Yeah, we. Go I'm sorry I I bounced it as Mark and Arena. I do apologise. We are really making a balls up with this but. You see Irena carrying the back with just her two hands. There's sweat. No, no, really, this is fine. I do this on the daily. You could probably put him down for just a little bit longer. It's fine. Let's go, shall we? In the. Street. We'll go to the inn, maybe. Now we go to the shop.

28:24 Oh. Yeah, you can technically go to the shop which is just across the road. It's right there. And the end is that. We're going to go into town and see if we can find some way of transporting your father. Because. As. 1. Minute flat flat A is run away. It's. Wonderful look, I haven't used these muscles in a while.

28:51 I just need to find the relevant page. Give me a SEC until. We go to the shop, Yeah.

29:01 Accepted Wilby's fate. I don't really know what else we can do. Literally nothing else I can. Do and I I am, so you didn't. Try that hard guys. That's. Such a legend, the legend that I am, I have marked out the. Things. It was moving way too fast for us to do anything really. If I had a gun at it, I don't know what more I can do.

29:26 The sparse light coming from this building spills out from behind heavy drawn curtains, a sign over the door creaking on its hinges, reads Bill Draft's Mark and Tile. Bill Draft. Fancy. Doesn't sound that fancy, but I always. Do you want to look in the shop and I'll maybe see if there's anyone that can help us in the Tavern? OK, yes, it's not a bad idea. I think we'll, we'll split. Yeah. I think I'm going to head to the top and you're going to head to the. Shop. I'm going to go to the shop. I've got to go to the bill draft, Bill draft.

29:57 Bill Draft's mercantile the establishment is 70 feet long by 40 feet wide. The owner, Bill Draft Cantamir. He sells items from the adventuring table, but only items are the post lower than 25 GP in the table. It's. Not going to be anything I'll go over to admire his words. Tip my hat I'm not wearing. Cannon. I don't have a hat. The cannon, The cannon hat that he is not wearing. You just nod your head. Good. Good morning, Sir. I don't. Know that stranger I? Don't know. Not that voice again. It's the shame wizard.

30:41 How town are we? Yes, I'm a visitor from from Neverwinter. We it's going to sound a bit a little bit out there. Possibly I'm in the process of trying to bury the blog master. I heard about this passing. Yeah, real shame. Nice man. Yes, shame his son seems to be such a cunt. This is a little bitch, but in. The nicest. Way it's curious turn of events that a group of outsiders would have been hired to bury him rather than anyone in a village. Talking to that Irene, a girl on our view, she's lost as she is.

31:26 She's annoying on that one. She's she's on discharged little old fingernails there. You want to watch yourself be around. Now and eat on the counter. It's like what the what's that room is around the arena. I've heard. I've heard a few people say this about her. She seems OK. A kind hearted and level headed girl. Well, the Vastani, they tell me that she bears a strike on resemblance to Tatiana, which is neither here nor there. Souls aren't allowed to leave this place, you know. So. Souls. Oh yeah.

32:01 Souls. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just just a few years ago, one of the one of the only women down the road, she died. And we're funny enough when you know, but no a few years later their child was running out of the street. Looked like a spare an image of her. Call them call them they call them fog born mound. Here you see the the the shades, the the solace and those with old souls so that can't that aren't allowed to pass on. Yeah, it's a weird little thing that strides got going on. Don't even know how he accomplished it.

32:33 Be fair. So Stride will reincarnate people who die in Berel here? More like he inhabited the tan with shades, with people who are not ready people. You'll punch one in the face and if they don't cry, you got yourself a soulless, you got yourself a shade. Yeah, yeah, he's a he's a good little kid, that one. Scrappy. No sense of humour about him, but. No, dude. But the the other, the other kind, the the other kind, they're the ones that have been essentially kidnapped or bore head by the Rastani for one reason or another.

33:16 Yeah, no. When they die, they just kind of get put back into different bodies. But it's really difficult sometimes It doesn't look like them, but they'll have similar traits, like same eyes or same hair. Could be similar, similar things that they like, similar, similar colours or favourite foods. Strange. Real strange. I wonder what slut gets out of bed it.

33:46 Gets to keep everyone happy and dance in his little merry tune. Nothing bothers me, mind you. Oh no, I'm living life mine right now. That Vistani recently come back and I've just made myself a tidy little prophet. I haven't. You do seem rather world wise for a man who lives in a village that appears to be cut off from the rest of the world, but. You make friends with Vistani, you play nice with them and you learn a few things. Most things you can't trust cause the I can't E folk, but you can trust some some things, especially things that they think they they wouldn't want you to trust.

34:24 Stuff about strad, stuff about the outside world and the fog and you just kind of like drift soft with it. So, you know, like merriment for like I'm doing. Not thoughtfully as I sort of take all that in and then just

34:43 do you have any way to move a corpse?

34:47 Got a shovel in the back? I need to move the burgmaster from his mansion to the to the Chapel. I'm not sure if this I mean my my friend has gone to the in to see if he can find a barrel so perhaps. Well, let's let's have a look see. And he he like goes into back probably when Paul bring out the boxes. We've got ourselves a live 1 here. This lumbering giant of a of a boy lumbers out from the back and he's holding like 3 like crates. He's in a very like he's in like a tight like white shirt that is almost tearing at the seams from this this manchild like girth.

35:35 Got the boxes, uncle. Thank you very much. Pair wimples palm down, palm down. Right. That's nice. And fuck off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, mind your head.

35:53 Charming boy. And he he opens up the crates and he starts like throwing things out. Perhaps you've got something in a in a wheelbarrow perhaps? No, I ain't going into that. That was my funny bone. That was now we got we got rope, we got rations, got a shovel. Perhaps I will return to my friend and let them know what ways you have and we'll come back and buy something perhaps. All right now. See you soon. See you soon. Thank you, as I say you seem like a very world wise man. Are there any other services in town other than over yourself in the inn?

36:41 There's only me. Hey lad, I'm the only horse in town that will be doing any business with a Vastani. No one else trusts them. You're saying no one else likes them? The two free spirited people say too nice, too open, too kind. This is curious to me. Tell me I We've had a few people now tell us that the Vastani are not to be trusted in this town. However, it was the Bastani that sent us here. They told us how to get to Borovia. They actually asked for our help. Is is there any chance that the some Bastani may have escaped Strauss bonds and sent people here to deal with him?

37:23 From what I hear, from what I hear a little birdie told me once a few years back, the last time something like this happened, the last time adventurous came through and they got lost in in the fog and went mad. Like the Vastani all worship the idea of Strad or what he wants was they don't not not all of them essentially like what he is now. All of them fear him and all of them are loyal. If the question they're forced to, they will stab you in the back for less than a penny if Strad gets the upper hand.

38:04 But there are some who wish to see the curse ended, and there are a few that are trying to to put an end to the Dread Lord's rule. Where they are, I have no idea. Then he thinks. Then he thinks it be could be, could be the Vastani camp that recently came through. Days 2 days. Past Thank you. I produced a gold coin which I appreciate is a lot of money, but I have nothing else and put it on the counter. It's like I will not come. I will not buy anything just yet, but this is for the information you've given me.

38:41 Information is as valuable as any goods you can purchase in some places. It's much appreciated. I will go and find my friend. Thank you. Picks up the coin, examines it and points into it. This is actual world goal. We don't have that around here. Flex, catch, push in the black pocket. You have to wait until after I paid him for information before saying that, didn't I? Shrug. Head out to the end. Fucking wait for it back again.

39:14 Yes, we need. Do you have any helpers or barrels we need to transport the burger Burger master? Yeah, yeah, to the cemetery. We heard about his death. Yeah. Tragic. Tragic. And we're seen as the village people are choosing not to help. We need to figure out a way we're going to. Stay at the.

39:58 Yeah, we're not touching that. That whole family is cast. You're on your own. She seems absolutely fine to me. Yeah, you're on Outsider. What do you know? What do you know? That she is constantly targeted by Strad. Isn't that her fault? Yes. Men. Yeah, am I right? Jesus. I mean, have you seen her not even finish that joke with a fucking straight face? Jesus.

40:31 Christ, but always got a real toxic issue here. There is no It's not her fault, obviously, but anyone who interferes with her family meets an end. No one wants to interfere, so no one will. Even just carrying a coffin. I'm not asking you to speak at the funeral. I just we just need to get the coffin up to the church. There is not enough of us and it's heavy. I have a wheelbarrow in the back. I use it for collecting firewood. Borrow it, burn it after. Scott for them to say thank you and it's it's like a very like.

41:17 Can I have a glass of wine while I wait for my friend to come and push the wheel better for me? I I get I guess I get a gold coin out and place on the. Table. Yeah, like nonchalantly, as he's polishing, as he's polishing a glass, in between putting that glass down and picking another one up, he catches it put tennis pocket, pulls you and pulls you a flagon of wine. A flagon. Wow. They drink it, pulls you a flagon of wine and then puts it on the side and then picks up what what looks like, what looks to me more or less the exact same glass and starts blushing it.

41:53 I I look around. The three Bastani that were in the Aria are still in talking amongst themselves. They seemed OK when we spoke to them, right? Yeah, I take my wine over. Is there a chair free? Yeah, yeah, please, by that means Go, go, go back you. I I sit with my legs to the side. Really, lady? It's really uncomfortable. So you, you've been in, you've been in Borovia for a, for a day or two now, are you, are you enjoying a beautiful little town? Great. Good. We've spent the majority of our time in the burger master's old house with his kids.

42:49 Something lesser. He's Mark, he's, he's interesting. He's an interesting young man. He. He seems. He's got a bit to learn about how to rule a town, but then again. I fear his grief is getting in the way. Not just that, but also with the Lord watching over what, what, what do we need to berken Mr for? You know, it's a, it's a, it's a useless title. Is it just this place that he he watches over or is there other? Can I? Speak English? What are you saying? It doesn't sound like I can't spell.

43:36 It sounds exactly like a spell. Fucking tourist. Anyway. Should be hanging flags up next. And he overseas, he overseas that town. And then of course that is the the Township of Valaki to the north, Valaki. And then the two other Bastani shoot like daggers into him. But. When he mentions that when? He mentions Valaki, yeah. I've got I've got Valaki written down as a safe place question mark. That's where we're supposed to be taking. That's why you're supposed to be taking Irena, but she will not go with you until you've buried a father.

44:11 Yeah.

44:14 I'm not going to mention that to them. Good place. Question mark. But that's that's that's weird. It's a place of mania. It is, it is, it is not. It is not a safe by by any means. It is not a safe place to be is we do not, we certainly do not travel up. Is it? Is it induced mania? Like is something happening to the people there that is causing that? We only hear hearsay and rumour, so it is hard to be there's. Not much movement between the different places. People tend not to leave the towns then which they are born in them.

45:04 You're most welcome to the gates right there. You can. You can leave whenever you wish, but people don't. It's safer. Because of the fog. But because of the beasts. In the fog. So not only are there beasts that we can't see them. It's because of the diet world that will eat you if you leave town, and it's because of the bats you will eat you if you leave town at night. And then there's the zombies, and then there's the revenants. And then sorry. Zombies. Sorry, wind it back, zombies. Yeah, there are zombies all over the place.

45:41 Just what I needed it. Wasn't the fact that we're starting?

45:46 How do you travel around? Do you travel around? I used to be a part of a caravan that would go into the go beyond the fog but since I since I settled down with my with my brother and my cousin and we bought this place I have not had need to leave town. It's a lovely establishment. She's drinking a wine. I guess I could come into the inn. Yeah, I'm, I'm just drinking with them at this point. Yeah, I walk in and I sort of look around confused, try to figure out where Malice is. Let's see her in the corner.

46:23 The Pastani. Good enough, Wanderever. I've still got half a flag and a wine that I push. Towards, I mean, did you have any luck, Lydia Enfield? They refused to help because of the curse. Yes, I had a similar problem with the shop. But they have offered us a wheelbarrow. What are some luck? I mean, if we just balance. Probably more dignified than Dragons. Been dragged through, yeah. You. You've. Been dead for three days. I imagine bits are going to start falling off even before. You forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive 1 of overhearing, but you say that you are having trouble shifting something and you the body is dead for three days.

47:06 Yes, we have got to move the stare madness as I realised I realised I'm being way too open the Burger King King to the We feel shepherd. We we feel that the burger master deserves a proper burial, so we're taking it upon ourselves to. Help. He was a good man. He was a great man. You should, you should have asked. Yes, of course we will help. But by all means, it is not a problem for us. Yes. Matters. I don't know about you, but everybody. Everybody in town finish. Your drinks? Finish. Your drinks.

47:55 Come on, there's a body that that needs to be buried. Everybody in town is incredibly distrustful of Deveshtani. Yeah, incredibly distrustful of the Burgomas's family. However, I don't see much better way of moving him below. He's restarting. Also, I don't understand, if they're so distrustful, why would this Matt and I point to the guy behind the bar be working for them? Maybe he's one of them. Maybe they just. He was refusing to help us. Maybe they just pay well. Maybe. You, you are. You are more than you're more than welcome to ask either either the Vestani or the the Barman.

48:38 I, I, I lean back in my chair and I go. You don't seem all that well received round here.

48:49 They are jealous of us. It is that is. That is all that it is. We are free to leave the fog to travel to the world, great world's beyond. But. They're not they. No, they're basically. Yeah. Something else. I fragment. OK, I'll fill you in later. Get some weird shit going on. The more I hear about the strut, the more I believe that the Norm Father has sent me to eradicate him, which is certainly a daunting task. And then I remember the thing they said about talking too close to the fire before and I look over at the fire and shark.

49:24 I fear he. As you look over, just by random random coincidence, the fire does in fact actually spit out a little piece of like wood. I'm not going to read too much into that. No. Does anybody know what happened to Will? Honestly I'm just hoping he shows up again soon. Right when you mentioned that you were sent to to eradicate him.

49:56 Fucking bollocks, we were whispering. Forget that they're all around the same table. No, no, no, no. I telepathically communicate. I roll my dice. Cool you telepathically communicate the one who's all who said yes I was sent here to kill. Yeah, yeah. No, I think they can speak back. Oh, they don't. No, no, I I forget. We're making it known why I'm here. One of the one of the Bastani and Mirabel locks eyes with you Her her irises turn like a lavender for like half a second and it's like this. You just feel like this psychic like like ringing in your ears.

50:43 Roll a Wisdom saving through 30. 20. Oh my head. It sort of hides for a little bit, yeah. Did I see? Can I do an insight check? You can see if I noticed the eyes. Yeah, sure. Yes you can. 16. The one on the left, so you have one in the middle. Mirabel and fucking hell,

51:23 Mirabel park Sovia. So Alanka's in the middle, Mirabel's on the left and Sovia's on the right. Sovia leans over. You seem there's a problem. Fascinating your your eyes changed colour. We we do that, it's a, it's a Vistani, it's a, it's a gift. It is a war against evil. 19. The Yeah, it passes. OK, before I do that, I do actually, I get to do it once for free, every long rest. And we've had a long rest since I've used it before. So for four hours I'm going to create a telepathic communication with you.

52:05 And I'm going to say in your head, I'm going to go don't freak out. But we can now talk in our heads. Something fucking weird's going on. Her eyes changed colour and it felt weird and I did a deception check. Yeah, and you succeeded. Yeah, It's not in. She's being guarded about it. She's trying to play it off, but it's not what she says it is. Yeah, I feel like she tried to do something to you just then. And you feel Sylvia like trying to crush you, like trying to calm you down. Like she's like, she's like, she's like stroking like, she's like stroking like your arm.

52:47 And I I. Move my arm away and I'm gonna go. I'm fine, thank you. My my. Don't you, don't you see everything is going to be OK when she says see, roll, roll yourself a wisdom saving for. What if I? Don't like, but I think it's considered an automatic fail. Oh fuck me. Like that? That's an that one we. Have one of those as well. When she says see, colours begin to fade, your depth perception dies, your eyes become clouded over with a thick fog. You are now blind until the Vastani curse is lifted. What?

53:36 She's blind? What? Sucks to be here. Could you not do that to my friend please? I am screaming in your head. I'm trying to have really cool, but I'm like, I can't say. I can't say going. Back, going back so. Well. No, we were doing so well.

53:59 Yeah, you are. You are inside the carriage with Straad that your blood is like dribbling out his mouth. You are able to break free, but you missed the token. What do you do? Now what smart ass have you ever considered a gnomish? Butler. No, You must. You must forgive me. It has been a very long time since I have fed on something with a soul. I do so miss that taste. I'm going to offer you a deal and a horse stops. Like. I don't like the honeyman that you are travelling with. Kill him. OK. What the fuck?

54:45 You bring me his head, and you bring me the noble one that you travel. She'll make a good concubine.

54:59 OK, finally, keep it happy, it's fine, whatever.

55:05 My castle is laden with other edges that I do not need. If I this is a question, I'm not asking strata, I'm asking you if I agree. But then I actually had no intention of going through with it and run and tell them exactly what he said. Will he know that I'm lying? I think you. Can make a deception check on performance or something right? Yeah, can I see a picture of Strawn? Sorry, I stopped that Rathod Dyson the hope that no one sees. I don't know what, only a small.

55:44 What's the second one in a row? Is that not one? No one was. Fucking so I should be allowed to roll again? I didn't roll. I didn't roll properly. You washed the. Roll. If it dice, roll. If it dice. Roll in my. Woods and no one is allowed to see it if it's doing that. One dice tell the story. The tree falling on it suggested is. It's not much better. I rolled in that one but but but I have, I have, I have. I have a two to add to it, so 3. You see this image and being printed into your mind. You see an old man sitting at a table writing out lengths of like of like like receipts and like taxes.

56:31 As as your vision shifts to the left you see a prisma like crystalline like edifice like this weird like tower with inside this room. You then your vision shrinks down through the keyhole and inside you see mountains of bullion gold.

56:57 I'll do it. Hey, you've got time to change my mind. Or you.

57:07 I'm getting the worst end of the deal with it that makes you be dead that. Changed my mind. And I and when your vision returns to the carriage, he's he's. Called me pimp shady. Shard is like sharpening his talents. So he's not going to just let me go the. Door opens. Right. And then he picks you up and then he drops you. Right. And you fall down a mountain. Ow. This whole time the horse has been continuing to travel. You are halfway up the mountain to Raven Loft. Really fast. We really took our time.

57:48 You guys kind of deserve to die and be hauled out. What? Do you mean? The horses are. So much quicker than us. We have nothing. At long range, that's going to do Fuck. Off I did the barest minimum. I don't know what more you want from me. You as you as you're falling, don't you don't need to fall. No one needs to fall down to this. As you're falling, the like as you're falling, you fall through the the fog layer and you see straws just watch you and as right before and as you make contact with the floor, like there's like this like because like humans bounce, they like they can't.

58:26 There's like the secondary thud on the secondary. High. It's a mountain. It's far from no bones left when well after you after you make contact with the floor. My body is a bag of mesh. Your body, broken and broken and like in fucking pieces but like the flesh is still there, is spirited through the fog and placed in the centre of the village of Barobia.

58:57 Am I dead? You are dead. OK, just checking. So you guys are going to come out of the pub with your fucking wheelbarrow? She's not going to be able to fucking see it. You're going to describe it to her. Enjoy. Session. And say Jesus, what the fuck? So yeah, the difficulty spike gets gets ranked up now. We haven't even levelled. Up. There's no levelling up. How are we supposed to level up when everything's getting? Worse. I'm dead. I can't level up. You said that.

59:34 She can't see. So he was scarier. Oh my. God, OK, well, I don't want to play anymore anyway, so fine. Oh. Yeah. Are you going to sign us off? Yeah, yeah. Thank you very much everyone for the listen. Fuck off. I don't know why. I'm fine. I'm fine I think. This is potentially the Halloween episode. Having your timing, yeah, up in your, sorry, you might want to do that again. Up in your host Carl. These guys are my players. Bye I'm. Tired. Bye. Bye. Bye, guys. Oh my God, will you OK? No. Will will you're at the.

1:00:20 Corner of my mouth. Oh no, Lily Enfield, I think Will's become a vampire. Go. Suck your blood. I don't think Will's going to be sucking anything anytime soon, Chris. I think it's jaws and Pieces. Goodbye, goodbye. Goodbye, Oh my. God recording sound me. Recording sound me. Anybody. Recording sound me. Can you hear from this far away? Yeah, but not as well as everyone else. Hello, I mean. I I think that's because we were all speaking like really close. It was your tone. Yeah. Hello. It's. Probably easier to turn.

1:01:09 Hi, my name's Dave. To be fair, if we lean forward and talk at a normal volume. Like this then it's fine. It's fine if you need to scrap scream you yell from further back like this because good. These are all between some of that today. Fucking excellent. My brain's going screaming the mic.

1:01:27 Right that I think Matt has someone locked in his garage. Probably right. I'll stop that because I remember when I miss. Sabatini was a Peng teacher though. She was great. First time I had a hole in my knee. Yeah, I had to. I couldn't go swimming on the Friday afternoon, so I had to sit and do my Sats or the Sats exam. Yeah. With the year Sixers, yeah, because I've been year 3 or 4, probably. Yeah. And I did better than did I did when I was in Year 6, just to emphasise the standard of schooling.

1:01:56 Doctor something, he was offended by the Barbie movie. I think that tells us everything we need to know about him. I've not seen the. Bar it's really good. But you know what? I started watching Oppenheimer and I got as far as Florence Pugh naked in an armchair and thought, well, I'm done now. I've lived my life.

1:02:13 That's where I would at least finish until she was clothed again. No, no, no, no. Just I thought this is find whatever, This is why we came to this movie, but I'd have put this at the end of a three and a half hour. Fucking bullshit, rather. Yeah, at least you know someone to look. Yeah, exactly 45 minutes in, you've seen the highlight of the movie. Now just fucking killing and feeling sorry for himself. Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I feel like I don't need to now. Yeah, I didn't go to see the movie.

1:02:39 Actually I want to. I start yet now. But then again, yeah, he had a lot of. My tick tock I'm turning it off. All right, so sent. Me 50. Yeah, welcome to. Is that a six or nine? I'm. Not ready. Just to help me with that and give it a bit of a break.

1:03:04 I legit haven't eaten. I woke up to exam school, drove to Ipswich to have a wank, then came back and bought a car. Like I haven't eaten today. Well, I. Have been productive.