Panatheon 17: All Hail the Chadvisor!

0:03 Hello and welcome to as that as 6 or 9 and now it's DND podcast make bike idiots. My name's Matt. I'm here where? Carl Dickerson. I'm playing Belcephalus. Fred Nicholson. I got round. Of applause. Sorry. I'm playing as it craftily. And someone else. Sorry I got cocky.

0:33 No dice for you. Albert Sherwood. Who? No, neither. Shit. Well, it's a good thing because I'm running out of dice I want to give away. I like this. Cool. Blue D4 thing going on. It's nice, isn't it? I've never had it anyway. No, I was introducing you because he's. Oh. Alex someone. Close enough. Thank you. Alex Brentwood. Alex Brentwood, that's not even close. That's all. Not her name. That's not my name. See, she doesn't even know. How am I supposed to expect you to remember these things which she doesn't know?

1:13 What are we levelling? Up. Come on, charming that. Was so close. Yeah, OK. How is everybody? Good, yeah. Good. Very well, yeah. Good good, I'm waiting on a bed so if we disappear for 5 minutes it's because some very Moody men on the phone are bringing my new bed. Probably just pause the microphone for that. We'll see. Just leave it. For 5 minutes. 5 minutes. Oh yeah. Hi guys. Just over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. So last time. Yeah, yeah, let's just launch right in. The last time you guys finally got back to the city of Amnesty with the Prince and the Oracle Orb, you decided that the best course of action was to hit McDonald's and got a guy to drive it to my house in a moped.

2:06 On a moped it was. Great, I got no regrets. They got a lot of things wrong with. That they did get a lot of things wrong with that one. Yeah, sort it out, Uber. Anyway, where were we could? Say something really disgusting. Chad became the advisor. Yeah, you met. Him spoilers. You met. He didn't become the advisor though, did he? He came up with a better name. Chad advisor, yes. You made your way with Chad, Brad, Chad and Chester in tow to the college where he met even more Brad, Chad and Chester's and Neptomas the all knowing he took you inside to the college.

2:50 He started his ritual with the Oracle's Orb, which turned out to be a blind date style theme show thing where you guys got to ask questions and generally interrogate 3 lucky nominees. I awarded Bulius a absolutely psychopathic high elf guy. That's what they were doing. 1 was a law, one wanted to be a doctor, and one was the king of pomegranates. Yes, I awarded Bulius an absolutely psychopathic High Elf Chad, everyone's favourite of the trio? Baby and Shiv Ravari's hot older sister. Damn it. You guys spent more time trying to chat Shiv up and finding out who should actually advise the Prince, but eventually through coin flipping decided on the chat advisor.

3:54 He was absolutely walking around introducing himself as that now and. Terrible. Living for it. Worst choice we've ever made. And that's where we are now. Good talk to you. You could stay in the game room at the top of the tower, or we can say that you've skipped ahead to wherever you want to be. Probably should have discussed that first. Where are we going? Well, you were making plans to go clubbing with Chad to celebrate his victory. I wish to return to Anna's. I do not wish to go clubbing. Are we not in Anna's?

4:26 No, you're in Anna's, but it sounds exactly the same. I appreciate that, especially in my mumbly bumbly voices. It's. Fine. Why do you want to go to Alan's? Pango Tigers is that I have I have questions I want answered. Where's the club with the dragon we need to go?

4:46 To Alan's to be. In Paris, pretty. Late in the day we could, you know. Club today. Yeah guy, I've only got like 8 hours of drinking time. Left God Yeah, because we threatened to end his life if he fucked us. Up. Oh yeah, that's right. He has to be sober. A life of sobriety for you. Let's go clubbing and see if he. Fucks up he's going fair but. Ix's challenge accepted. Yeah. All right. I love him doing. Where's? Shiv. And right here. She's linking arms a bit. She's to go clubbing. Yeah, she's just kind of stick.

5:23 Well, it hasn't puts his hand out for Shiv to take her to the club. I, I. What do I need to roll to make that happen? Persuasion. Performance. You're being swamped. Well, it's going well.

5:39 I mean I have plastics on persuasion and performance so it's like a 24. She's up for it. She's a smitten kitten with Ick. A party, you say? Excellent. Excellent. I I look forward. A great chance for us to catch up, isn't it Ravari? But first you wear me a dance. Let's go. Yes, she takes your hand and flees. High School Musical. That's Captain. That's Captain Ravari. I'm sorry, what? She has a captain. Oh yes, Captain of the What was it? The the 9 Hells? The 9 Hells yeah. Yes, I'll be captain of your heart ship isn't.

6:19 It strange that you ran away from home then named your ship after it. It was more of an ode to I was in control of the thing that once tore me apart. Yeah, but are we going to the club? Yeah, because I've pulled shit. First guy just. Puts a hand on your shoulder. Wow man. Look, Ick is on to a winner and he wants to take ship to the club. Let's go. Yeah, OK. As then walking down the street, it slides her hand down her back. Wow. Why is she gonna bat him off or is she gonna like? Why do you all all your characters become slightly creepy?

6:59 She's doing ex celebrity it's. Just being. Like it just means he's used to abusing everyone's just. That's my point. Hey, Presley Weinstein. No, it's gonna bring ship into the fold. Oh. My God, I say, we dropped. Hey, look, it was fine for our royal family. It's fine for this. God.

7:25 When you say fold, is this going like does this involve like a bug seat like audition type? Thing no. So you're not going for him on the Wi-Fi? Yeah, I already had. I already had the audition. You picked him right down the street, popping his arm. Yeah, go. Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack I. Didn't pick you? Yeah, so you've been you. You made your way through the town. You have this huge event up in the college and it's now, it's now getting towards sort of like late afternoon. It's about 5-6 in the evening.

8:05 The sun is starting to go down. It's a warm sunny afternoon. People are out and yeah, you guys parade down the street, Chad chanting his name. There are a lot of Brad Chads and Chesters also following along, all clapping and good. Yeah, man, yeah, Dark Chad boys are yeah man. Yeah. Woo, I see them drinking out of shoes. Flower pots.

8:31 How do we check what Chad's drinking? You said I got to like 4:00 in the morning or something. It's OK. I'd like to pull Bell aside. What's it for in the? Morning or midnight? I think it was midnight and then decided on 3:00, OK. Because. You felt bad for? Him, yes. We'd have to fix this. We I would do anything to fix this. I cannot have this man as a the. Advisor. It runs up to them, flashes his kilt, then runs away. God. God A. Punch of chest into the slide chair.

9:08 The little they were having a serious conversation and and I just wanted to ruin it. So I just run up and go, hey, gotta run up again, you know, I have. No qualms about killing him, but what do I get? We can't kill we. Can't. Kill them, we can kill who? Yeah, kill who? Brad, Chad and Chester. Brad, Chad, Chester, Brad, Chad, Chester. Are we killing? Do I like a zone of? Kind of guys. Stay out. I get like diplomatic immunity or something now, right? Because they're. In charge? No What? Oh shit, don't.

9:40 Drink. OK, you know, new child. Do you even understand what advisor means? Chat Chat advisor. Yeah, chat Chisor. What if we talk to? Team of course. Team chat time. Surely we say that he's not an appropriate choice. Pankratis is a stickler for the old ways. If this is how it's done, this is how it's done. He has to die if you want a new one. Can't. We just have another game show. But he has to die first if you want a new one. He. Doesn't he just has to? Step down. Who are they talking about? Are they talking about you?

10:14 I I think they're talking about me, yeah. Guys, quiet isn't. He really dark. Yeah, my Lord. This is supposed to be a party I. Already said. This guy is really my study. He's like, I, I promise I would take this more seriously than anything I've ever done in my life. I'm going to build a wall. I give him a week. Fucks up, she's out. I guess I go and stay and finish my studies. You wouldn't even give him till the 3:00 AM to see if he fucked up from drinking. Now I'm going to give him a week. I'm being kind.

10:47 Being miserable. Yeah, come on. Yeah, it takes a while for the role to like transition over, so. OK, so if any when? He actually does become something of importance. That's when we start paying more attention. If in a year he's still inept, we kill him. If he's still a potato, yes. Perfect. Why isn't it involved in that? Because it likes him. You want him. And I want ship. I've asked. And you have shit. Yeah, I do. Send it back to that. And that's that's left me salt. Dick tries the luck of shit, he positions it so that he can make sure that Bell can see and then he goes in for the kiss.

11:33 Can I roll to? See if you haven't even got to the coffee yet. Oh, in this street, taking this. Moment I rolled A7 but plus 6 is like 15, 1313 it was like 13 so so yeah. Yeah, you gotta go. Maybe gives him the cheek. Yeah, she gotta turns her head to the sides, but like flirtatiously sort of Pats at the air like oh stop it, my sister isn't. Watching. That goes purple with rage. Make a perception check both of you.

12:09 Oh, that's work. You definitely know if she looks away from you and the lady directly at Bell, but Bell's just too angrily staring into space. My arm around the way Titans. Yeah, it seems like she's trying to play you guys off against each other. It doesn't mind if he wins. I have my own Forte didn't. See any of that? Because how's Rick feeling about it? Yeah. Did you see? Yeah. Riv is just not. Here right now. Yeah, dissociated in every sense of the word. The whole situation with Chad. What the fuck is going on?

12:52 I don't want to talk to my mum. Shiv needs to leave. So you kind. Of agree what it's worth, I love Chad. He's a principle here. Yeah, I can't be partying with you guys, you know. What do you think? I'm just going to. Stay who invited you? Chad's a good guy, but. Well, I don't. I mean, you guys have bought me a big deal about how I'm not ready to lead and stuff. You Sir, are a moron. Well, yeah, it was unusual for me to have like a moment of like self-awareness or whatever. But I I'm not ready to leave.

13:20 I don't think he's ready to help me. Right, right. So why did you agree to let him? This is what I was told to do. Why the fuck were you listening? Make your own fucking mind up. You well you realise that this is a 1 and done deal. He has to die if you want a new one. Put a coin in the bitch, John. Now leave the Prince alone. Oh my God, he just doesn't have a fucking mind of his own. Well, I. Mean Princess rarely do. You make a point that like you guys guiding my life so far than anyone else and I think.

13:59 Who? Who would you pick if you could? An advisor advises you he does not guide your life. They are not in control of you.

14:10 Sorry, it's doing a little dance. I think he wants to be picked. Do you know if you cast a mirror image you can create 3 of you to do the little dance? I'm not going to waste the spell though, damn it. Remember, no way he's going to launch a fucking attack on us. Oh yeah, a knife lights out. It's flying. Not again. No, I mean. Who would you choose? I. Don't know, I feel like Archimedes has so much. Experience. It's insane to think he should just be moved to the side straight away. I completely agree.

14:46 Guys, you guys have. I also agree he is a he is a good, he is a good advisor. Yeah, I don't want to like. Work about too much straight away. I don't even. I'm not technically king yet, but. I. Maybe. A committee or. Thank you. Yes, a committee, a forum, something official. Not this namby pamby talent show. Don't. Get me wrong, I love the talent show. That was fun. What about talking to your uncle? Yeah, I mean, if we could do that without me getting killed, this is not a bad idea, but we all seem pretty worried about that.

15:22 Your uncle is not going to kill you. See, this is what me and me and Bill don't quite see. I die.

15:32 Me. Think of it. Me and Ruth know what's up. It's just my hands are full of shit right now. Think of it like this, like that. If he wanted you to say. That let's. Let's dispel this notion right now. If he wanted you dead, he would have killed you along with your father in Nicaea. He wouldn't have bothered to waste so much energy trying to ensure your safe return. That would also mean that I'm dead, and that sucks, but that's just what. He would do. We're just ignoring the fact that he's already tried.

16:05 There is no proof whether or not that that signature is actually his. It's quite a. Lot of proof, I wrote it down. It's a doppelganger. It's. Not that's that's, that's a fucking read.

16:17 What the fuck? It has officially abandoned Shift to wade into this. Oh God, it has to be. There is no other. The uncle is a psycho. You know what? I've. Changed my mind. I think I will have a drink. Yes, I love that idea. And incidentally, here we are. And he he gestures to a supermarket. Perfect. Morikos supermarket. A super Wait, what? I thought we went to a club. That's what we were promised. I was promised a club, yeah. Well. Is it bring your own booze? Like what's going on? No, come on, follow me.

16:53 It's fine. And he beats in ground and there's quite a lot of people now. And you can see people sort of going around the corner of this supermarket. And then as you follow them around, there's like an alleyway and there's just a door at the end of the alleyway. Do we have to do a secret knock? No, you know, you just go in. Have you guys been here before? No, I might be a little bit interesting then. What a club is this? Well are. You old enough to be in here? Yeah. We're weirdly liberal. Yeah. OK, you guys are going to want to hold your hands.

17:27 And go free together. But I see, I see you on the other side. And he goes over, opens the door and goes through right. The door slams. Everyone hold my hand. Actually hold your hand. No one can see us. So much for. Do I want? To hold hands, hold hands. Put Carl. Give Alex your hand. OK, 1/2. Three run on the. Door Someone opening. The Prince stands and opens the door. Look at this guy. He was just barrel in like a cartoon. Yes, and you walk Into Darkness and there's nothing there. It's just a. Long dark corridor that you can't really see anything and then small shaft of light coming from above as you walk towards it.

18:13 And then you realise that the shaft of light is going down but you can't see it hit the surface. It keeps going down and there is a huge like crevasse between you and the rest of the corridor. You've come to a huge like Canyon in the dark. That's dope. OK, I've lost all. I've lost all folks. Let's go. We've lost a Chad and now we've lost a nightclub. I'm jumping in the crevasse. I mean, yeah. What? Jumping. Are we supposed to jump across it or in it? Oh yeah, you can see the corridor, continues the other.

18:45 Side. Oh OK, I thought it was like in the hole. Fucking. I just die by taking the wrong way to the club, OK? Yeah, make a perception check. Not 2021. Nice. Cool. We're quite perceptive. Ship is fully backing up, getting ready to jump in this hole I trip. Her up. You guys, you guys notice there are like a series of pillars sort of lining this thing. So although this appears to be like a natural cavern, someone's been down and carved a bunch of pillars. We were napped 20 You know, you notice that there is a pillar to the right which is sort of cracked at the base.

19:27 I'm going to build us a bridge. Cool. What? How? Yeah, with what? It's going to knock the pillar over but I'm interested to see how because I'm the one that's like a 7 foot something forest giant. You wouldn't have no strength. Bell gets out his grey sword. My strength is 00.

19:49 Bell gets out his grey sword and he takes a swing at the crack on the pillow. Cool 12/13/14. You give it a good swing, but it's a big stone pillar. You saw just kind of like class off the side of it. Is it jumpable? It's quite a long way it's. Well then, how's the Prince getting over that? Was going to build a bridge. Baron. But how would he have gotten over if he's been here before? How has he gotten over before? Prince hasn't been here before. Who's been here before, Chad? How do you get over?

20:21 Chad's not. There, Chad's already gone in. Chad, can I jump? Is there like 2 walls following it? Does the monetary Ross the Montessori Rosso? Yes it does. I down the can of the monetary Rosso which gives me plus one strength. Oh cool. Plus. 10 + 10 speed advantage on initiative go that 20 fine thank God after like. 4 rolls. He kept bouncing out of the tray. You see bounced up and spent absolutely ages just swearing his ass off just like pushing this pillar with his hands shoulder bars again just.

20:59 Swinging his sword at it. And eventually it cracks and this, this huge rock pillar goes down. I did it and lands on the other side of the Canyon. And yeah, you have a bridge. You are desperate. You go first, no? I just need to know how other people are getting over. I will go. You'll find out when you get in. Can I flex as I walk past ship?

21:29 Performance, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, she. Was not impressed. Yeah. I'm too tired. Yeah, you've got to be fair. It puffs out his chest a little bit more. Yes, you have a bridge going across the Canyon now. You're welcome. Bye. Thank you Elsa for this. She's sort of like hanging. Back your shoulder. And it comes around and puts his hand around. The shoulder. She's here with me. Shall we go? Who's first? Rib? Rib. You're an intrepid explorer, Yeah. Fearless Captain. Yes, fearless. That's. What we've been a Dick for?

22:10 So I love taking little like little like shots at the captain. The more I talk about it, the more I believe it myself. Really. I'm winning there. Yeah, fuck it, I'm going. To go cool, he's made an excellent bridge. Yeah, I do not say thank you. You carry on down the corridor for a little bit. Thank. You. I'm just in a bad mood, OK, Everything's gone wrong. So we're going down the corridor that ribs in the front. Yeah, right. It's just 1st over. You guys are slack fighting over shift. You don't need to fight.

22:50 I win. Ladies first. Men just before. But why don't we just whip on the table now? We need a table. I'm not playing that game with a bloody with a hell giant. I can't win that a. Dick swinging contest, I'm in. It's all animatically correct, right? Like. Anatomically. Anatomically. Anatomically. Anatomatopoeia. That's an automatopoeia. I hate things hard with great swords. You want words go to a languages.

23:23 Yes, exactly. It's like a lot to get that. How did Chad get in it? Maybe? I think this is like an initiation. Like maybe you should give Chad more credit. Oh. Okay, that yeah. Maybe you should give Chad more credit. No, no. He came in with a group. You guys are basically judging him on what he sounds like and looks like expected better from you. No, no, you said some stupid fucking shit. What did he say? The entire. How about I'll just listen to whatever pays me? Considering that he's going to be the advisor for the King, it's not something that you should be saying.

23:58 Well, out loud anyway, right? Yeah. No fair. I still kind of like him. I don't know. He reminds me of a younger Ick. Younger. I mean, it isn't in the business of serving his country. He's a musician. He just wants to have a good time. And where is your country, exactly? Are you? Because I don't think you're from anywhere near him. I know he's obviously in real terms Scottish. I used your family for inspiration, but in D&D terms I don't know what Matthew would call a Scotland like country Scotland.

24:34 Here he's a red haired kilt wearing, bagpipe playing Hilm Giant. So you come to the end of the tunnel and there's like another shaft of light coming down, and ahead of you is a war with a bunch of sort of raised squares with different pictures on. OK, wall in the schedule. Cool. So that's 6 or 9. It's a six. It's got a dot.

24:59 Yeah. About an 18 investigation. Of course. So an 18. 21. Shut off. So it's like a nap 20 of the day. That you see like on Yeah, you see the wall is sort of like it's got these like raised squares on it and they all have different pictures on. You also see next to it there is a tablet sort of inset into the wall and has text written on it. The writing says to help us improve our security and prevent any imposters from getting within. Please select any images depicting the gods of Panatheon. And on the grid you see a lightning bolt, a duck, a Trident, a thrissus, which is like the star thing that Dionysus has.

25:41 Well, that's one then, isn't? It a cake, a flaming snake, a ram, a spider and a pair of antlers. Hang on, I've got it. I've drawn pictures. Rather than writing them down. Well, yeah, because. OK, pictures, right? So it's the lightning bolt, the Trident, the star, the flaming snake, the ram. That's my guesses. Give us a clue as to how many. No, you can roll something to see if you can. Can I roll a history check? Yeah, or. Religion or whatever. Hold on. Well I rolled a 19 plus. So I'll let you roll for each thing to see if you if there's one that you're not sure.

26:19 Absolutely atrocious 3 You suck. Why are you investigating? She's nothing, clearly. I've got a 20 and a natural 20. So is there one that you're not sure of? There's three that I'm not sure of, four that I'm not sure of. OK, with that 20, I'll let you pick two and I'll tell you which ones they are. The Spire. Is not one of them. And antlers. Is not one of them. OK, that's fine, Carol again. And we definitely know that Duck and Katie. Do we? I don't know, 1718? Can I pick another one? Yeah. Duck. That's not one of them.

26:55 OK cake, don't listen to her 13 there. Could be. Perfect. Thank you. Can I attempt? 15 I think I have it. Cool. Lightning bolt. Yeah. Trident Star Flaming snake ram. You doing that? Yeah. Cool, The flaming snake is not one of them. Oh. You press the buttons, the light turns red and there is an echo bellowing around. The Room. Access denied. Access denied. Intruder detected. Intruder detected not. An intruder you. Go on then. A bit of a wall, a hidden door rises up out steps. So you're going to put the same things through?

27:50 Role initiative. You were so close. It's all of them except for the flaming. Snake flame snake is that. One. Oh, fuck, our older 4. It has no idea what's going on anymore. He's like, I got it. He was like, why isn't the flaming snake one? Yeah. Was yours the same selection as me? Yeah. Yeah. So let's check. This would have happened regardless. I thought maybe the spider was Hecata, God of magic. God of some magic and webs, yeah? Check. The spider face. To be fair, some of them are possibly Greek God symbols, but.

28:21 It was it like the antlers and the RAM kind of throw me because I was like, I know. I was like, ah yes, I'm. Assuming I looked this up, RAM in the back of. Them could also be arms. Yeah, out steps A. It looks it looks a bit like the rusty suit of army you fought before. Oh no. But it looked it's dark metal. The patches where there isn't armour sort of has red light glowing in the middle of it and from behind the visor to burning red eyes. Have we had a rest since our last fight? Yes, yeah, you're all healthy.

28:54 Thank Christ for that. I just realised I only had one superiority die left. I was like, hold on, no, that's not right. 18. 4/17. Really, if you're up first. I'd rather. Die, don't save me. As you get the thing wrong, the doors like this bit of The Cave slid up and he like emerged from within the wall, branching a sword. But does does it look like? It doesn't look like a a thing that you can talk to. Nope, with the red light and the siren blaring, you very much get the impression this is here to fuck you up.

29:26 Perfect. Is it perfect? Yeah. And the half the feeling is of hope. Thinking Does he look beefy? Yeah, it's a big suit of black metal armour with glowing red eyes brandishing A glowing sword. OK fuck it I'm going to cast witches bolt. That is an 18 to hit. Yeah, that. Flex. That's too. Deep. Yeah, these things. Can. Fly. Did it roll high? Yes. Keeping it We'll take it 12. 1314151617 damage. 17 damage. Yeah, now you're up. I'm going to make a lunging attack go with my superiority die. I just need ADA 19.

30:12 19 hits. I deal 10 damage with my opener. Cool. And then I action search to strike again. So 18/19/2021. Now hit.

30:29 And my follow up is 257 cool. That really hurt the arm. Well hold on first like 13. I forgot the +30. Nice. And the second is 5 second is also 1011, actually 710, yeah. Nice, yeah, it's arms get fucked up. Still always turn, though it crassly. So I just wanted to check with mirror image each time a creature targets you with the attack during the spell's duration bit, but only lasts a minute. Minutes or a lot a. Minute is a lot longer. Like, So each round of combat? Yeah, like 6 seconds. So a minute is 10 rounds of combat.

31:05 OK. Very few fights go on for that long. It's only when you. So it's a good idea to like. Doors and shit it takes. That so our cast mirror image which is my first step so that I have a bit more manoeuvrability when it comes to attack. I only have daggers or crossbow so I guess I'm going out with daggers because I'm probably a bit short range for a crossbow. It can't. It can't be charmed, but psychic damage can still work. For sure, but she's already done a spell. Oh, that's what she. Has and there's an action, so you can't bonus action daggers.

31:35 Yeah. Oh, so that's just my go. This mirror image you. Could buy if we inspire someone. Yep, and I've both been a bit dickish to Chad if I'm honest. So no Barber can spell for you. OK, fair enough. We just have. I love how survival practically hinges upon do. You remember what I said? Pleasing the bar do. You remember what I said to you this morning when you were being a Dick to me and I said you don't know when and you don't know how, but I will make sure the bell dies today. Mate I hit the armour for 20 damage, say something.

32:01 I will. I will say no. Barbican spoke for you. Oh no, it's the Princess. Go, is it not? No. Prince is not having a go. Oh. No, it's the Princess, right? And he's going to attack it with the dagger because he doesn't have anything else. A. Five and he ran away screaming. Oh God, I'm really not good at fighting though. You really need to teach me something at some. Point Have you not been watching? The. Are you not amused? The armour is going to take a swing at Bell, ring up, that's an 18 to hit, 14 damage and then it's going to take another attack.

32:40 Hit Grassley, he comes at you with his sword, he takes a slash at bell and then whips across to hit you. Technically he hits roll 3D sixes. The 345. Nice. So you only have to roll at three. OK, so it slashes down at Bell, takes a nick out of his arm, and then two handed swings back across at you. Takes out all my. Duplicates Magically one of your duplicates in. You swap places and it hits your duplicate and shatters in like explosion of light mirror. Image is so. Cool mirror image is awesome. Barely does say a duplicate AC equals 10 plus your Dexterity modifier.

33:19 That's because that's different. Don't worry about that car. Yeah, OK. But at least you know. Use it to remember you have the spell. OK, But it's different in here. OK, Yeah. Cool. Nice guys, Background background and. Riff So I am going to bonus action do another D12 damage. Cool. That's 11. And then I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna use Tides of Chaos roll with advantage for a dagger attack because I don't think I can roll another spell attack because I use the bonus that that is 19 to hit. 19 hits.

33:59 So that's just a nice little that's 4567 damage. Cool still. Standing. And then I do my wild magic. Yeah, roll your D100. 28. 28 yeah, yeah, you are transported to the Astral plane until the end of your next turn. What? Space you previously occupied. Or the nearest unocupied space. That space is occupied. So what did you cast by? What did you? Do sorry you you? Gave yourself an advantage, didn't you? Yeah, Dagger. What? Dagger. OK. So yeah, you just got over. You see rib? Walk over and just. Stab into the middle of the.

34:42 Suit with a knife and as soon as she does, she disappears. Dude, does my witch bolt disappear? Yes. Yeah, cuz you're not hearing. Anything fine? Yeah, well, there we go. Yeah, I don't think the lightning, I'm pretty saying this is the lightning bolt only travels 60 foot or something. So I feel like a different convention if you could cut it. Especially, especially if you have to like, concentrate on it. So if you're on a different plane, you can't concentrate on it anymore, sorry. I just really likely like using times of chaos.

35:13 Yeah, that's the whole point.

35:17 Fuck, you just hear the cut off. You know those really good cut off screens? Yeah, those videos you just hear a. Fuck though, you're up. Going in for a second swing missed but but grace. Which kills it. For damage. It just does 3 damage. Why do I keep thinking that I have to model? D4 damage at the moment because of your gourmets. In fact, it's just five damage because of your Red Bull. Oh my God I didn't even add up the Red Bull extra damage now. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

35:54 Yeah, you kill the suit of armour, it clads to the ground. Fucking yes there. Is a moment and then rib God. God. With a T-shirt saying I went to the actual plane. I woke up. Was this last T-shirt? I didn't even put this on. Where the hell did you go? I. Don't know man. Completely. This is normal apparently then. Completely different dimension. I go to a different one every time.

36:27 This one there was so many hamsters and helmets.

36:31 What? Berlin's internship. Is this normal in your family? Define normal in my family. Am I right? This arbour is destroyed. It comples to the ground. The red light sort of fades away, like smoke just pouring out of its helmet into the atmosphere and dissipates. Is the armour still there? The. Armour still there? Have a look at it you. Can have a look at the armour. I can't wear it. No. Hey, Bell. I think I can and I investigate the sun. Yeah.

37:09 And I I have training to wear heavy armour. Can't wear armour? You surely you just have like chainmail or something you. Got 16 AC yeah, because. You'd get plus if it was plate. Yeah, it's just cool looking plate armour. But that's better than your chain, right? But you can absolutely take it.

37:28 Does that up your AC, then it does it. Does 18 AC nice and then it does actually doesn't. It wasn't using its shield. It doesn't have a shield, but it does have a cool sword, an arcane sword. It's a long sword, so it's it's smaller than the one you have. Smaller than the great sword, what would be the what's the damage was on that so. It's a long sword, yeah, so it'd be AD 8 or D10 if you use it 2 handed. So if you have a shield, your AC would be 20. I am taking the sword. And it does AD 10 of force damage, which is probably something to do with being magical like the actual helm horror.

38:04 But I like the idea that the sword is powerful. What is it? So this is called the enchanted blade, Yeah. It's called an arcane sword. Anyway, yeah, so. You, you pick up this like you defeat this armour. The red smoke evaporates out of his eyes, and it's just a crumbled piece of armour. Do I still have? Scratch in the front from. Extra X. Yeah, it's still there for a minute. It's probably takes that amount of time for Elsa, who is to put on the armour anyway. He looks very fine in His Excellency of Armour.

38:37 We weren't needed, so we're just all high fiving each other. The ship doesn't know what to do with herself now that there's so many of us. Yeah, looks like she's getting ideas. We were just standing in a circle. Around and lift our kits up and do what it does. Oh my. God, Oh my goodness. Hey, this is a salt. Maybe I was wearing something under my kilt. You have, absolutely. You've gone out of your way at every opportunity to express that you are not. Yeah. 4 ball cages where you said I have. Nothing on under.

39:05 What if we do that? It's a bell instead of shit. Is it more acceptable? Then it's still a soul, but it feels slightly less damaging. Jesus. Anyway. Yeah. The door is still down. Yeah, just my bum. The door is still down. It's bum, not my bum. I look, the door is. Still down so we can just go through. No, it's not open. No, it's. Oh well then it's the lightning bolt, the tried and the star and the ram. Yes, yes. And then as you. It's just a rise, you hear? 1/5 button it goes back down again and the.

39:40 Douche was the. Enter. Oh, OK, cool. Yes. So you do that and the panel where these buttons are turns around and there is a doorway and you hear dumping music. Where's the ball? And that's where we'll end the session. I've no idea it's an hour and 50 at this point but. Yeah, it does. That's. Good. It becomes out like 3035 minutes for an episode every now and again. I don't think that's a bad thing. No. Cool. Yeah. And that's when we'll end the episode. Excellent. Cool. Thanks for listening everybody.

40:15 Like rate, subscribe, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. The e-mail will be in the show notes 6 or 9 D&D at [email protected]. I think we're just about within the time limit to still plug my charity thing. So pay my charity thing. Anything else anyone? No, we're good. No. Good. OK, see you in the next one. See. You next time. Bye. Oh, what was your thing? Oh, I took heed from what you said in the last episode about what Shorty did with the picture of you on ChatGPT, so I took one of Carl title when your D&D character has 18 Charisma, but you're older 3IN real life, captured here is a devoted D&D player in his natural environment, halfway between heroic immersion and wondering if he left the oven on, clad in the noble garb of a seasoned adventurer, a shirt that says I own more dice than socks.

41:13 He stares him into the distance, not because he's deep in role play, but because he's trying to remember if he wrote his spell slots down this session or the one in 2021. Mate. Before him lies to good, isn't it Him lies the tone of tactical Chaos, also known as Stevens Notebook, which contains crucial campaign notes such as Talk to Goat, Suspicious Questionmark, Ask the if Seduced Dragon counts as a bonus action. The mysterious pink cat dish of dice symbolises his approach to fate. Roll pretty rocks, play.

41:41 They don't pray, they don't betray you. He trusts them like a rogue trusts a locked chest blindly and with wild optimism. His posture says I'm about to make a questionable decision. His eyes say I'm already committed to it. And yes, he's currently trying to convince the party that jumping off the balcony while casting Thunder Wave is a tactically sound plan. It worked every time for sure. Yeah, it did. I did one of Matthew. It's called Dungeon Master, God of the Kitchen Realm. Behold the mighty Dungeon Master seated at the sacred table of battle, which also double S as the breakfast nook.

42:13 With the horde of dice rivalling a Dragon's treasure and a rule book of infinite suffering in hand, he prepares to emotionally dismantle his players with a cheerful grin and a deceptively innocent Are you sure you want to open the door? Wearing the ceremonial crumpled Henley of Plot Twisting, his hair tussled in the classic I've been awake since 3:00 AM thinking about goblin politics. Look. He pulls over his arcane scrolls, a notebook of some vaguely coffee stained printouts. On the table lies the orb of DM Omniscience, that one perfectly round dye no one uses but everyone fears, surrounded by a chaotic constellation of dice, each one ready to determine the fate of adventurers, Tavern goats, and poorly thought out self cheques.

42:51 The setting? A kitchen, obviously, because nothing says high fantasy like conjuring the world ending curses 10 feet from a dishwasher in a mop bucket. His players may think they're heroes, they're the heroes, but he knows they'll be arguing over whether to loot the cursor configus or adopt it as a pet in T -. 5 minutes. This is not just a dungeon master. This is a chaos conductor, A narrative ninja, a caffeine fueled deity with the power to say role initiative. Yes, amazing. Want your fake NPC introduction based on this guy next?

43:21 I want that on a fucking T-shirt. Ice cream. Shirt. Hey, it was conductor. That's fucking wild. Anyway, bye. Everybody. Bye 17. The old bed's completely fucked, the mattress is fucked, the like a camber sided which is covered in most format stands. OK. Well, that's why we're getting a new one.

43:44 Yeah, I know mine wasn't vomits games.

43:50 You can't say it like that and then leave the sun and sun. Yeah, like. Mine wasn't vomits. I've got Carl's notes. Fascinating insight into his mind. It's just he's just written loads of screens. While we're finding that, let's go and fucking drink ourselves silly. That is called Chester. Just want to make sure. Everyone knows that. Wait, this is, look, this is for idiots. We have to be saying this stuff, you know? I will call it out. Yeah. But then it's not for idiots. It's definitely for anyone who listens to this is an idiot.

44:24 We love each and every single. Night, I love you for us.