Panatheon 23: A Shit Situation

0:01 Hello and. Welcome to a 7609 and I was the DAT podcast made by idiots. My name is Michael, and I'm here with Miranda Wilson. I'm playing it crassly. Matt Cole, the way he went. I'm Matt Cole. I wasn't sure for a moment of. Your name. He's had a long week. Long. Week AM. I. Called Inglis. I'm playing Bell Suffolis. And Alfred? You got a try. You got. You got a try. Sherman. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Alfred, I'll just take 1. He gets to. He gets to D6. This. Is how my life would work so far. Like I just.

0:49 Do a really shit job all of the time and then if I do a half decent job. You don't have to give him a. Rise when he. Gets it wrong because. You're rewarding his back. Bad behaviour. Epic voice. It's got a little. Where's that little? Puppy in it. Little puppy in it little puppy. In what the fuck? I've got a full. Collection of D eights with animals. I call you alpha. Do I get puppy dice? You know what her name is if.

1:15 I shave you from dying. Do I get dice? I have some I have some regrets about taking a family member, biologically a husband and the best friend, and mashing all you through together. Because then I get left here on the outskirt. Yeah, we all feel the same thing about you as well as you first, so. Yeah, you wish you had each other and not me. Yeah. Looking forward to tomorrow. Am I right guys? Hey, guess what? That's when you're married to me and I'm your ride home. Guys, anyway how we were doing?

1:46 It's been a mixed week. Let. Me tell you it's been 6 it. Was pretty bad. I don't know where to start. The car cost me over 1500 lbs. Mum had a couple of heart attacks. Minor, yeah. I mean, the first one was, we don't know what the second and third were, but the first one most definitely was. Well. No, they were heart attacks. My weakest. Can make me like edit that? Will I do that? Doubt a bit.

2:18 My week has gone substantially better. How did your week? Go Well it started on Monday at the start of my week off, which has been great. Monday was my birthday. Yes, it. Was. You know what that means? Don't. You, you're over the hill. Fuck off, I was over many hills because I did my charity trek 26 marathon hike thing and I remember saying at the start of it but calling it a walking marathon sounded really fucking lame. But you know what? It was really bad. And how did you Ruth place in the marathon?

2:58 Well, Ruth came fifth, which is really good. She was, she was the first female to cross the lines. It was a timed event, but like, in the interest of how we did, she came. She came fifth, which is pretty good. It's not fourth though, is it? So all that lack of training paper. Yes, well, like I said, I put no effort into anything I ever do and I still outclass everybody because I'm fucking awesome. I'm not, as I said before, 3. People were better than you. Yeah, they all started before me, like we had done really well if we hadn't got.

3:31 No excuse. At one point we had to go through this field of wheat like so the whole thing. So it was 26 miles and there was almost apart from this weird bit where we had to walk through the middle of fucking Leyston. Oh. Yeah, right. Because. It's Layston, you must never go there before. That it's all beach and sand dunes and like we at one point we went through like this marsh on this duck board thing through the middle of it and we saw it's called like knock down windmill and went through forests and like just all and then Layston fucking.

4:05 When I say oh, it's because. Well, just. Family. We had some very bad experiences of Layston, having lived there for a decade of my life, but it was really that long. It was like. 30 minutes just driving through it because I was only there for like 45 minutes and it felt fucking. Awful. No, it was a decade. There was, there was a brief moment where I wasn't sure that's where I was, and I walked out and it was. Where I'm Carl's from Saxmundum, so he goes Leiston anyway. It's just in his blood and I don't know any of these places.

4:33 You don't need to. You're literally missing nothing. Mate, we walked like the first bit we did, we left wherever it was. We went up to Wolverswick and between where we started and Sizewell Power Station, because we went through like past that, it's just all $1,000,000 houses. Like they're always huge fucking mansions. And you know how the proximity to laced it, you just think, how old are these? Fucking beautiful. I used to work in thought nurse and that's that's where we started. I used to do the holiday let's for all of the second homes.

5:04 Yeah, yeah, they're all really nice. I tell you what, I miss that paycheck. Anyway, point is. You. Did an amazing I did the thing I came forth, which is the main thing, but the actual main thing is that I've raised £560, congratulations and it's still going up. People are still. It will go up on payday because I haven't donated yet. The the bitch. Jar has. Not donated. Yet so I'll probably be up to about 6 grand by the time that's going but are. We talking. About yeah. Think it's about 20. I need to find the bit of paper, but I think we're at 22 LB on the bits jar and I will match.

5:43 That, but I've raised, I've raised 560 quids and if we're honest, most of the people who listen to this are people that we know, people I work with. And they might not necessarily have donated through this. More likely they've donated through the poster I left up at work. But still, for all of you out there that did see that that did. I. Will round you up to 600. Nice. Nice. Including the bitch trap. Appreciate it SO. I've got it covered, that one. Yeah, just to everyone who's donated, thank you.

6:18 It was worth it. It was a great day, a great event. If you write I came forth on the poster at work, people might. Believe me, everyone fucking knows I had one day back the. Tannery announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, I came forth in my marathon. Thank you very much and have a nice day. Yeah, that was. Went to the pub afterwards wearing our shirts and made all so we won. Yeah, we were there. Did you get like really drunk? Because we left off to like 2 pints. Yeah, we weren't there that much longer because we were so fucked.

6:47 I was massively dehydrated though, so I had one beer and it was just. Like basically if I spent. This has hit me. More than half an hour in Shorty's company, I broke out on hives. Anyway, yes, well, we're on that actually. Not not the hives, the charity thing one sorry, 560 LB raised roof raised over £1500 or whatever. So. She's phenomenal. Yeah, one of the things they did are these Jelly drops they were handing out on the course. So they're a water free ice or sugar free water based isotonic thing filled with vitamins and electrolytes.

7:28 And they're meant to help people with like dementia and Alzheimer's who might struggle to eat lots of different foods. And I think you guys should all. Try one. I'm in. Because. You could have given them to our dementia ridden grandfather, but no, we'll eat them you. Won't eat them, Take one and then wait. It's like holding a slug, yeah. Oh, what in the hell? Like Play DoH. Do you know what it's like? You play DoH? It's like spitting up a wine gum without chewing. It oh wine gum think. Wine. Gum.

8:04 Yeah, You sucked all of the crystal sugar off of the fruit pastel, masticated it a little bit and it's spat it back out again. Ready 321. Oh, wasn't wet. What the fuck? Oh my God, what? Is this in my mouth? Oh. My God, Oh my God. Why is there nothing to spit into? Hang on, Alex. No, it's where it's gone anyway. My God, I don't like. It Oh my God. I want to make. It really. Clear that it's probably fine, it's just we all have an issue with. Bit sensory stuff. So oh. My God, that was. Rice. Really.

8:44 Nice. Yeah. It's the. Texture. Yes, it's. Like. Among the reasons I'm going to kill myself at 60. Three. But anyone? Like getting old and. I have. This shit don't get. Wrong. A really good idea. I had plans to be out by 25. I was having a bit of a dry mouth. It Yeah, I felt bad. It's. Mostly water, which is why the texture is so. Strange, I thought it was water free. No, I, I it's sugar free, it's 95% water. It's mostly water well. Done. It was disgusting. It's it like? Just gonna leave those there in case anyone wants anymore.

9:24 I'm gonna forget because like me tell. Me. And swallow it whole. Have you ever had escargot? Like snails? Yes. Yeah, it's like kind. Of want another one, right? If you if you like overcook to undercook it like the way it like it's like broke apart. Can I try another one? Yeah. You're all swallow it. Whole this is how you know that you guys are on the spectrum and I'm not. You're all dipping back in. I mean. You know it's there and you have to. I'm not putting another one of those. You gagged and you've got another one.

9:58 Well, that's the thing. You gag on the first one, you gag on the first one, but the second one you like really get to like critique it and. Review it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get over the shop. It's the point of the water based stuff though because I just swallowed. The water very fair. Hydrating. Gonna be fair, we're just doing. A lot better, yeah. The second, I'm not putting that in my mouth. We started munching them about halfway around. We did feel a lot better, yeah. For it, I bet when you're.

10:24 It's just solid lump of. Water. Do you know when we go and do our next mountain pouches of like liquid Ivy and stuff you can get. Yeah, they like give you hydration and. Yeah. Do you mean the little power crystal things that you put in your water? Yeah. It's not like, yeah, no. But there's there's, there's loads of there's liquid Ivy is an American one, but you, they're the isotope things. Yeah. But yeah, yeah, I've had those. Anyway. That was disgusting. Well, so my week, you knew what that was going to be like.

10:53 It's a Jelly cube. Yeah. Yeah, it's like gelatin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Disgusting. It's it's like if you get like a a cube of gel. Yeah. But yeah, can we? They do lots of different favours apparently. Maybe we should just take a minute to. Yeah, I think a full minute. Of course. Thank you.

11:14 Look, I can see the timer on here. You have to keep going. Come on. Yeah, well, so maybe join in now. P OK. I am. There we go. I'm.

11:26 Proud of you. I'm not that proud. We came for a pint afterwards. Okay, enough. You're fucking me off Stop. Anyway, you asked for a minute. I'll give you a fucking minute. Shall we do a recap? Wait, we didn't ask about Alex this week? I think we we. Also we just before he does the the thingy we just need to recap that the reason there's been a bit of a break in recording is because everybody had a fucking birthday and then our mum had a heart. Attack everyone's had. To do a marathon. But we're back and we're sorry and thank you for coming.

11:57 Back. Yeah, we appreciate it. Life just lifed for a hot minute. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty wild. OK, Anyway, shall we do recap I'm. Absolutely desperate for it because I've. No idea what, Yeah. That's where it was. You found it.

12:17 And we can't, you can't edit that out because that like cuts off my conversations. Last time you guys, you guys. Huey the Hill giant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys approached the village that had originally sent you out to go and find their giant goats with Huey the giant, who in fact owned the giant goats. I think that sense. Makes sense. Oh makes. So much more sense. Now on the steps of the the town village hall thing, you step side to toe with the Timu band of adventurers and absolutely fucking destroyed.

12:54 Them, as I say, I just remembered what happened. Wild magic came in clutch. Oh it. Does Yeah, we were going to see if the same Unicorn comes back, if it ever comes up again. You've been lucky. You better use wild magic this session. Give us something to use Wild magic. I'm I use it forever. To be fair, all you've got to do is what cast an actual spell that's not. I just need to use my ties of chaos to give myself advantage on any role. I. Hope that's how this works because. That's how we do. What it is?

13:23 Well, I feel like I feel like it's quite good though, because I don't. Think you're meant to spam it by the way you do, but not yet. But I feel like it's kind of good because I clearly do not have control over my magic. Yeah. Also the premise of this podcast is it's made by idiots so if it's wrong people can just get fucked. It's a learning. I'm an idiot and I'm not going to learn. Right. Well, think of it the same way as what we did with Sentinel. We did. Why abuse that so hard? And then we learn so.

13:51 Guess what? No one listens, so it doesn't matter. Yeah. Exactly. That's the. Main. Thing This is the equivalent of living in your mum's basement and recording in your brother's garage. This is you won't understand this, but everyone knows who I pointed to when everyone used to have like cassette players that they record their own radio shows on as a kid. What's a cassette player exactly? I'm joking. Yeah, but you didn't have one with a microphone attached to it where you could record yourself. We had this.

14:19 We used to make radio shows. It was the size of a small building. It had I think ACD player in it. It was. Not player on the top but it had two standalone. Speakers and two microphone in the. CI did it on the PC. I wasn't born and thank God. Oh yeah, like you think this is me now as a relatively competent adult. Imagine me doing it as a fucking 10 year old. Jesus, there was lots of like putting the microphone into our mouth. Yeah, which? One do you think you are? You missed the start of that as well, didn't you?

14:51 Nutsack. Why do you want your dad's nutsack? How am I going to look at Peter in the face again?

14:58 It's it's a saying. Now all I can think about it, isn't it? Sorry, Jane.

15:08 Yeah. No, but we used to make this radio show. But when you listen back to them, 90% of it is like one either me, you, Nash or Alex with a microphone and inside the mouth just going Yeah, anyway. Oh my God. Right. That's not what I was saying. You destroyed the team Adventurous with all of your various skills and abilities. You didn't even need Huey's help. You recovered the goats, brought the village, you found the mayor hiding in the village hall. Pussy. Yes. Deposed him, then moved into a firewood and it's still Huey is the new mayor and then brought the entire town over to his cave so that you could have a giant cheese fondue and he gave you Oh I forgot.

15:55 About the cheese fondue. Gave you guys. I don't know if goat's cheese works in the fondue, but we does it. It's a very strong cheese. I love Huey and. Yeah, he gave you a bunch of stuff that he's found. It's the same shame Huey has to stay because I would have liked Huey to come. I'm sure you see me. Again, make sure we're about foreboding. That sounded really. Young, right? Sounded more like cover the frogs. Shall we commence the session because I've not played D&D in a few weeks. Much guys had your fondue and then set back onto the road tooth, I say.

16:32 And that is where we are. Why? Sorry. You know, I was about to finish a sentence. It's like. Sorry, I didn't know it was. Going to hit 4 words I stole from another vodka. No, it's it's it's OK. So I opened my drink. That's where we are now are. We are we walking to Yes. We'll just. In. Yeah, we'll skip. So you spend another couple. Of days, a lot of shit just stationary. Because we don't, we never say ohh, we are walking as we have this conversation. So. And you just. Say the conversation, then we walk in silence for like 50 miles.

17:12 I feel like it should always. Unless stated otherwise, it is assumed that we are moving. Yeah, if you made a cartoon out of it, it would be us having a really intense conversation and then 50 to 100 miles of just walking, not looking or interacting with each other, and then we all stop and go. How about we do? This I just had a thought. You guys are dumb. Right, that was a bold and what laugh anyway you. Spent a few days. Sorry, spend a few days. Crossing the step in the direction the step, it's, it's a geological area.

17:55 It's like grassy. Mongolia. Like Mongolia, basically, yeah. And eventually, on the horizon, you see the plateau, once the rolling sea of grass that's a perched higher top. Are these the horse lots? They are the horse lots. So around you there are, there are a few sort of like toiler stone cottages around the landscape. And there are some places where people have built like dry stone walls and stuff to keep like a pen of pigs or cattle in. But mostly there's just like herds of cattle roaming around.

18:27 And you've seen this before. You've seen that there's like bands of guys on horses that are basically following the herds and keeping them in place. So they're not so like Cowboys, but for horses. You approach that, say and imagine essentially like Rohan from Wolf Rings. Yeah, boy. So wooden palisaded fence the city. Very mutton baby. Do you know what mutton baby class is? She's read.

18:53 Like 5 books in a week, she knows what stuff it is. You don't, do you? Just so I can explain it to you so you know we. I know. Castles on the hill, village at the bottom, big wooden fence around the whole thing. How that song goes? I'm going to talk about Castle on the Hill.

19:10 Our reenactment group had like a whole conversation about how wonderful he is. I was like bitch please. Anyway you approach. He edit that out because if he likes D&D, we need his money. I don't care. I don't care how famous he is. I'm not accepting a penny from that fucking fraud. OK, well I'll have his body. I'll take. It you need to edit that out, but yeah, carry on. Yeah, you approach Let'sie, this big wood walled city, there's banners everywhere. Green banners with a White Horse on them, dangling over the walls and flapping in the wind.

19:43 You approach a city. Yeah, that's a wooden fence. Yeah. Yeah, the dirt track being into the into the sea is kind of like. Gaunt ginger person singing on the hill. And potholed, but yeah, there's a couple of guys standing guard, big Pikes and sort of lamellarish looking armour. So like fish scales and yeah. Can I ask very quickly before we carry on? What are we doing here? Trying to impress everyone. Oh, yeah. Thank you. We're on, we're basically on like a press tour for the Prince and. Everybody.

20:21 Is behind him. Making sure everybody knows what I'm about. Is he still Amos or is he the Prince? He's now the Prince. He's the Prince. Amos, but I'm. Hiding I'm. Going to call him Amos just to fuck him. Up. Do we know the name of the current Lord of that say? A history check. Oh. Meanwhile, it's just walking around going. What's your history? My. History and I don't get to use any more than that because Disney will cost me. Zero. I have memory files, but I do have proficiency, so actually it's supposed to.

20:54 Yeah, you're rolling. Wait, what's yours? I don't know what we're talking about. History. Yeah. No, you roll. She's got minus on. I've got minus on. I'm pretty much fucking everything, Dad said. He loves our podcast, but not the swearing. 13 fuck off, that's. What I said, I think my exact should I? I'll give that some action. Yeah, I'll. Go. I'll go. Well, I swear I remember. The name, I swear. Is it a tick that's helpful? Yeah. Because as a as a as a naval captain, you would naturally be in a place where there is no ocean.

21:28 Yeah. I. I do all right. Let's assess. We'd hope that the Prince knows. So that's a 13, no? That's why it's a high DC. This guy is, it's like the king of a country essentially, or whatever he's called Damzo. I guess we walk up to the. The main gates. Yeah.

21:50 I'm assuming we can just walk. In Yeah, there are people. Going in and out. There's there's traders with waggons, there's people on horseback going in and out. He's the. He's the horse Lord. He's the King's the horse. Lord of the Horse. Lords. Of the Horse Lords Crazy. So Horse Lords is kind of like the generic name that everyone gives to people running the region. Parliament. He is the actual horse Lord. The Horse Lord is kind of the traditional name of the guy in charge of that, say. Can I do like a just a?

22:27 General perception, check. See if there's people around what's here. Yeah, kind of unnatural training. Yeah, so as you go into the city, you go through the gates, the guys that the at the gate kind of like, are you up as you walk past? But don't really say anything as you go into the city. Immediately either side, the streets are lined with shops, Taverns, There's a blacksmith, there's a stable, there's just all the things you could possibly need again. So it's quite like a big. Yeah, this is a big, big city.

23:00 Like you've been to a few villages and shitty towns and stuff, but this is like this is White Run or Rohan or whatever. It's plumped in the middle of this region. It's on this big plateau so it can see for miles around and the road is still kind of like muddy and shitty, but it's very busy. It's bustling. Is it a castle or a stronghold? So Stronghold's more for Castle's more residents. Yeah, it's a castle. It's castle, yeah. So you've got the big palisade wall around the outside with like towers on it.

23:35 And you can, as you approached in 20, you could see guys sort of like standing in towers or walking up and down. It doesn't look like anyone's like, like, like we're seen as like, oh, there's new people here, but there's nothing like they know anything. There you can definitely like as you will pass, you can hear like a blacksmith sort of yell something sounds like it's aimed at bell syphilis about having like fine swords and OK people. That man knows. Do I mean, do we want to like? Do we want to head straight to?

24:08 I would like to there's, there's quite, there's, there's a few places I want to check out. I remember from my, from my event at the canning fields of the Elysium, I, I know that there is a gladiatorial arena here. So I would like to go. I would like to pay my respects to the fallen warriors from that event and visit them. I thought he thought he wanted to fight. And I also want to visit the stables to find out how much horses are. Oh my God, yes. Can I? Because if, because if we, if we can get, if we can get horses, it'd.

24:44 Be quicker. Yeah, we're a lot quicker and if we don't have the money, then I can participate in some points I. Feel we? Have quite a lot of money. We do have, I've got 530 gold written down in the inventory and we do have quite a lot of jewellery to sell do. You feel that maybe if we go and talk to the king 1st, if they've got anything they need doing, maybe we could get more money written down on my original seat, Maybe make ourselves known and be like, oh, we're here. We're just going to wander around the sea.

25:11 It gets super charming. I could charm a horse seller trader. I can't sell a stable, but I could I could convince him to like maybe bring the price down a little bit. I am it Grassley. I also have +3 animal handling. Oh, and command. So I could just be like sell. Make it longer, little bit more. Depends how badly you want. What's this? I was just saying to Bell. I also have +4 and intimidation. You're huge. I have +6 persuasion. I have +6 to intimidation. I have a very You're a devil. I've got +2 proficiency to intimidation, but -1 on charisma.

25:52 I have plus. 6 persuasion and it's coloured in so we could try and if he says no I can try and persuade him and if that doesn't work we'll set fucking rib on them. OK, so. Again, I, I, I was saying to Bell that maybe we should talk to the king 1st and maybe we'll get horses as like a thank you for doing something. Yeah, I'm sure he's going. To impress me, to escape. And therefore horses would make that much easier. Yeah, but that. OK. Yeah, I guess at that point we could just steal them. You can rob Persuasion to change my mind.

26:22 Why am I not? No, I can't. Times of chaos. No, I was just thought maybe if we're here for like, the promotion of this king, maybe we should start with like, why don't we let Bell decide which option? Because then that's like a democracy. Sure. I was. Going to ask if I'm going to say, but I guess it's a king or not going to say, you know, a democracy. Parliament decide for you, so shut up. You're just here to open and close shit, you know? It firstly actually does have a point. Are you ready to have your first official Royal audience?

27:07 Hey, girl. He looks down and he's got it. He's now wearing chain mail that he got from Bell. He's got a sword at his side. In. My mind his chainmail, you know, like it's how Sam looked in your doctor's coat. I feel like the chainmail, like, you know, like drags on the floor. It's too long in his arms. Yeah. Like that kid and sword in the stone in the red thing. Isn't that, Yeah, it's quite baggy on him, but he's got that, he's got a sword at his side. He's caked in like Rd dirt. So he's he's trying to prove that he's.

27:40 Has he killed anyone yet? No, I think he hit one person once. So he's probably. Feeling quite damaged. He's probably feeling quite ballsy that he hit someone though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's feeling psyched. Yeah, I, I feel like he needs to get he, I mean, he needs the practise of talking to Royals. I do think that Bell needs to shut up and let him practise and not interfere because he's never going to learn. It's very I guess I. I held my tongue in life. Syria. He handled himself well enough with the Princess Diya.

28:10 So. Right. Shall we see how this turns out then? Yeah, I think we go straight to the cast. I'm quite eager to see what happens. I I, I hang back with the Prince and I'm like, no, OK, what are? We doing just the. Prince. The Prince just goes no terrified. I I I'm like. Stand up tall, make sure you get your point across. OK, cool. OK. I'll give him a quote in hopes. That maybe kind of stumbles Brooke. Gets a towel out of a pocket, swells it around and Wicks them on. The same reason it's wet. Don't question it.

28:51 Never question. And then, yeah, I'm just typing him up as we go. I hope so. Maybe he'll get everybody hyped him up. There's Brad, Chad and Chester. It's a shame that you hate them. Do you know what you could possibly benefit from Bardic Inspiration? That would be really cool fine. I reluctantly give him Bardic. Inspiration. I slap him on my ass and give him my star shaped glasses. Incredible. So you guys make your way, you go up this like Main Street where all the shops and things are, which are clearly designed just to catch anyone that's coming into into town directly ahead.

29:30 So a mile in, you've got this big square in the middle. There's a sort of weird ornate kind of like obelisk stone, looks pretty like rough cut in the centre and then buildings all around and to the West you see that the path kind of like tails off and then kind of goes up between two sort of like huge rocks. Could I potentially do like an? Investigation or something on that obelisk? Yeah. There's like a path that goes between rocks. Like 2 big, like 2 big rocks. They're kind of like nestled in the ground, yeah.

30:06 And then the path kind of like weaves up between them. And then the top of that is this huge wooden palace. And it's kind of like kind of like, I guess like a sort of Viking long halls, like like quite long, yeah, sort of rounded roof with. Like windows. We came in from east to east. Yeah, yeah. So it's like shops Square. Yep. Path Castle. Yep. What about the other sides of the square at? The moment you can just see there's like there's other buildings and stuff, you can make a perception check.

30:33 If you can, I do a religion check on it instead. Yep, and I got a 17. Cool. So this is actually, as you go up to it and examine this, there are sort of like old, sort of like carved runes in the side of it, but there's also some sort of pictures and there's clearly signs of a Trident being Poseidon. Hey. Oh, no. It was Haiti's last one with don't worry. Yeah, Poseidon. Very different piece.

31:07 No, Do you say who was it? Who was in the? Zoo, Zoo. Did you say to a reception check? Yeah, if you if you wanted to look. 78910. Yeah. So you just see buildings, you you can see straight ahead of these two huge rocks. Yeah. That you've drawn a little map. Go between and then at the top. Is this long haul? Yeah. Any churches to the up and down? Or is it all like shops the other sides? You just see buildings, but you just see more of these like wooden. Yeah, long houses, yes. So is that the assumption that that's who they're praying to?

31:43 That's. Their name? Seems seems likely that there's horse. People are praying to Poseidon. Call the horses. So is that God of? Water he is. Zeus gave Poseidon 2 things, the waters and the horses like and it's it's it's so strange why Poseidon chose those as well. The shit end of the stick, but. Poseidon was trying to convince people that he was trying to convince people of Annan's that they should make him their dirty like their their chief dirty. And he was fighting against all they they're doing like their own sort of like contest of who can do the best thing or whatever talent contest.

32:27 They had to give everyone something and he gave the people forces. OK. He lost help. Yeah, I learnt something right. I think I have everything I need to know. And. This obelisk does it. Is it literally just a statue to say this is who we pray to? Or does it have a magical? It. Energy, it looks like it has. It looks like it's telling the story that I just said. Deciding, gifting horses to people. Yeah. And it's been a very horsely place. They kind of Revere that There are other signs of gods as well.

33:07 There's symbols, you see, for Artemis. So goddess of hunting, some of Pan. So for nature, there's lots of different situations on there, but the main ones you see are like beside them and it seems to be telling the story of how they end up with all of these horses here. OK. Cool. There and there are, you can see there's offerings have been made around this thing. So it seems like it's probably definitely used for as a shrine. Yeah. It's not like. I didn't know if it had like a protection or something weird like that on it.

33:36 Seems like just a a shrine that people are praying to. Carry on her. Yeah, yeah, I'm ready. Yeah, the. One that wanted to. No, I know. I actually. Want to do anything else? No, I'm good. I've got our bearings so I know what's around us and where the exits are. Cool, Let's. See.

33:53 We're sending the Prince in on his like to do his thing, unprepared to make us with. Getaway Yeah, you make your way up that winding path up to the this long haul. And again, there's sort of like banner stash with these banner like a green background with the White Horse on and all over the place now. And there's a lot more guards at the top. You get up to the long haul and there's a lot more of these guards at the top. And there are there's actually a line of them in front of the entrance to the the long haul.

34:22 As you get to them, they all kind of like cross their like Pikes over to make sure that you can't get through the door. And the guy sits always like. Oh. What? What brings you to see the horse, Lord I? Push. Yeah, I was going to say Prince means to. Hi, hello. Don't. Forget he's got my buttock. Yeah, I'm here to see the horse. Lord. Damn, not so damsel. Damsel. I'm here to see damsel. I, Prince, go to the ladies and I'm doing kind of like a tour my Kingdom. Before I become king. Before I become king, so I'm just.

35:01 You know, going to read out everyone how they feel about the bulky and the Empire, OK. Thanks. Let's. Give the man a chance to respond. That was biting us. We're all behind him like the fucking devil, an Angel on his shoulder. Eyes you up and down. So like eyes, all of you guys. Superman post I'm Mick Grassley Remember the hood up put my clothes across my. Face cannon. Yeah, you're going to need to. You're going to need to dig. We need to get for recognition purposes in case anything happens, but I think anything will.

35:36 You're going to need to. Surely they recognise me? Sure they get. He does not recognise you. Is he the only one there? There are other guys. I'll do a group check for them. It's an 11. There's a couple of guys like. The murmuring.

35:57 It puffs out his chest and like shifts from foot to foot.

36:03 Belsophilus 2nd in command under pancreatitis on a guard, it's. So close to syphilis. Oh no, Victor. Victor of the Killing Fields of Elysium.

36:20 History check 5. Fucks sake I. Don't get out much, just with my tail light being. Have you got some fruity back story? X My mother's devil. Naval Captain. Naval Captain. X So I just I just I just go captain of the 9 Hells, you should. Roll 10th he's sort of out of he's he's just aware of that as. He isn't because it doesn't exist. So it's like sort of starting to shuffle his bagpipes into view to sort of try and Jimmy them to recognise that he is the one and only amazing it wrestling. He's like, like making it really obvious.

37:02 I pull out the scroll that we had forged of the pancreatitis for right from pancreatitis that basically said that he's allowed to go on like a tour. Give that taste that. No one's sort of spoken to the Prince. Yet to see Lee. Cleveland. Sharks roll it hands it back to you so OK fair enough for banker diahis is is OK this fine shit is that all we? Need no one gives a shit about the Prince. It's all about what? Pancreatitis. No, it's fine the. More the more we the more good we do here, the less we will have to do that.

37:40 Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of just starting to throw my mum's name into see what happens Taylor, if my name doesn't work. Your mum's name ain't shit. My mum, my mum's a devil, so worshipping me have you, have you got, have you got a minute to talk about your Lord Saviour? Is. It hecate. Hecate, hecate. That's it. OK. Yeah, you, you guys can go in. I don't even know. You keep your weapons is you have a RIP from Pancrito and he's watching you. Ex Charisma has taken a dip. I take my head off so my horns are showing just.

38:20 Oh shit. Just to like, I feel like I don't get them out enough, you know, I'm feeling a bit. I feel I'm feeling a bit. Prouder about MyHeritage right now. I think the conversation my sister really like. I feel a bit. Better. Yeah. I still don't like a lot. I mean, no, no, and she's not the favourite. I know I'm the favourite, I have some real I need to. This is for another time.

38:50 Yeah. So you guys make your way up this hall and from the outside it's just this, it almost looks like an upturned boat, like it's a long Oval domed shape, has like a almost like a key or if you like, like down the middle, thatched on the top. It's got windows in it and stuff. It doesn't look that grand from the outside. Like it looks big, especially compared to everything else that you saw in town, but doesn't look like particularly grand. And then when you get inside, it's actually it's more like, it's like a cathedral, but it's all made of wood.

39:24 So there's like, columns that rise up to the ceiling with arches, and they're all made out of carved and painted wood. There's a long sort of like, fire pit going down the middle of the hall with benches lining it and smoke going up for like, a, like a Viking. Yeah. Like a like a Viking Long. Yeah. That's so cool and as you make your way up you kind of like go around the side of the fire pit. You can see that there are like guards like kind of alongside you as you go in case anything kicks off which I. Guess feels good.

39:57 Like there you see taking a job seriously. So you get to the top of the hall and there's this like wooden platform that's been constructed. It's only like slightly, it's like a step up and there's like long curtains that are draped over the back. So kind of give you a partition because. You sort of assume that the other side of that is where the Lord lives. There's a huge throne, again, like wood. It looks like a single piece of wood that's been carved and whittled down to this huge, huge throne.

40:25 And to the side of it is a beautiful white stallion fur, almost like glistens in the in the sun coming through the the window in the roof. Horse Lord Chair. Curtains was to the size, just seats and. Yeah, seating. Things like that. Chairs. And I'm I'm guessing the. Horse. Lord is not there at the. Moment you don't see a horse Lord, you just see a horse. Oh fucking hell, he's the horse. I'm a fucking. Horse get out of my. Way. Yeah. The Prince clears his throat. Like. The horse, the. Prince close this throat and goes.

41:13 Hey Horse turns to him, chewing a piece of straw, looks at him. He goes. Hey. Is that a hey, a horse noise hey or is it someone saying hey he's? Saying hey, I said hey, I need get me some hay. Get me some hay now. Who are you? On this hang on hang. On the horse house still like here is like cocks at eye at you say wait. Who am I? Wait, this is the perfect chance for the Prince to be like I'm the fucking Prince. Get your own. Hey, the Prince needs to stop being a pussy. Like someone has just. Demanded that the Prince does something for him and the Prince needs to be like no, I'm a Prince.

41:57 If we were on home turf, yes. However, we are guests in His Kingdom. Pancreatitis wouldn't go and get him fucking hay, would he? Pancreatitis would would would ask the people following him to get the hay. I ain't doing shit but like. So in that regard. Hasn't. Asked us. And so like he's talking to So the Prince also doesn't know that this horse. Yeah, but he doesn't know that the horse is the Lord, right? Though some the horses just told him to fuck off and get him food and the Prince should say no.

42:28 Well, yeah, maybe there's been some kind of misunderstanding. Can somebody, somebody get this horse? Smay, please?

42:40 Damn. So.

42:43 You've got to try harder. Got a try harder my dude. Yeah. What is it? How are you? What are you doing in my my hall? I was having a nice day. What do you want? My name is I'm. I'm birds gonna lost the 90s. I'm sure you know soon to be king. So I thought I'd I'd come and check out the Kingdom and say hi. See how you doing. And how you feel. About me being the king soon just. Close enough. Yep. Is it just if there is anything you need to do? I guess we're trying to boost my confidence mate, mate. No, stop.

43:21 Talking. Boost your confidence. What are you doing mate? I need to talk, I'm trying to bruise my aura. He was doing all right until he said that. Because he get them to me. Yeah, well, ribs going, Yeah, it's got hay fever. It's going to cast Tides of Chaos until she goes to a different plane.

43:44 Where would one get hay? You see like this acne ridden teenager come with like one of them pitchforks with a lump of hay on it and he like dumps it into the throne. Oh, the. Throne. Was just like. A feeding place, yeah. No, it's where I it's where I live. Is where I sit. But it was where he sat. He's got really good hearing this. 1.

44:11 My Lord, forgive my impertinence for asking, but what you what you cast no. I'm talking horse. It's in charge of a Kingdom. And I understand that God's work in mysterious ways. I just want to know if you've been like this your whole life or if you've been cast.

44:29 Just any kind of investigation on what the fuck is going on. Yeah yeah. I have +3 on Insight. I have -1 on Arcana I. Can give you help on that I can get yeah, yeah, I'll help you. That's. That's what I got. I have +3 animal handling, does that count? He is a horse. He's a horse. 16. Ed Grassley, legendary Rockstar, dominator of the horse. I'm going to get on this fucking horse and it fucking kills me. Oh, what I should do, bear with me, is royal persuasion and then if he says yes, royal animal handling.

45:06 OK, yes, So what you trying to do? I want to ride him. OK. You're asking everything. Yeah. Oh shit. I don't think he's. Hang on. 11. I'm not just. Like a random horse, I'm Lord of that. Have you always been a horse? No, no, always. What happened? They really want to go into that. Why I can roll persuasion? Again. My persuasion is really good. Shall I roll? Do you want me to roll persuasion again? I I can, I can roll persuasion. Would you, would you be willing to maybe Share your story and. Then I'm going to roll persuasion.

45:45 That's not. 20.

45:50 Those. Are the ready chaps. Let's get all this information jotted. Down. I mean, you don't after 9:20 you could spell it shoot the. Fuck. Up. University and my buddy, my buddy Chad and I, we were drinking. Yeah, boy, he's. Chad Immortal. You don't know how old the horse Lord is. Chad Senior. Chad senior or Chad junior? It was Chad. It was like a few years ago. It's Chad. Chad, we're in. This ball. We know Chad, Yeah. Oh cool. Yeah, yeah, he's actually the Princess of Visor. Oh. No. No way. Trying to sweeten the deal.

46:34 Yeah, he says. We're very happy. Bell leans into riffs. So much for me being quiet this time. Of no. Guy, of course, Lord is a. Frat bro this. Is. Perfect. I go up. Yes. He must. Know who I am then. These guys, Chad is my, you know, my closest most people advisor. So if you know Chad's one of my, you must know who I am if you know Chad. Sorry, he's supposed. He's supposed to roll to find out if he. Knows he's through Check. I don't know if he said his name. Your name. You haven't. Oh, I'm a Crossley, yeah.

47:11 There we go. Hey, Dean. Oh shit. Yeah, I think, Chad. Send me a send. Me a Raven saying you're hanging out? Whoa, cool. Nice to meet you. Yeah. I'll strike his nose. It's got me. I was about to ask why all rulers are frat boys and then I remember all our government went to eaten. So yeah. Scarlet Crossfade.

47:41 Right, so he hung out of chads, got a great taste in music. We went, we were at it at this party and he was, he was hitting on, we was hitting on these two, two absolutely like unbelievable hotties. And then one of them was saying that dad wouldn't be happy about it. And I was like, whatever, I'll take my chances. And then in the morning, it turned out my dad was beside it. He turned me into horse. Then why are you praying to him? What? Oh, because I'm scared now. Fucking hell, that makes sense.

48:23 I might go back to hell. That's. That's pretty rad. I have a question, do you want to come? I have. A question I. Have a. Question. Wait, you're writing me? I have a question, do you prefer being a horse or not? I I am kind of getting used to it. Now that you know who I am, can I write you? Advantage.

48:53 That's what, 20 5? Yeah, sure. I. Mean just one turn. Like one turn around the the hall. OK. Yeah, great. How big is this horse? Do my feet touch a full like the little white thing he's? A majestic giant. Oh, OK, yes, this is nothing like the Unicorn. Just cut a loss. I mean, you guys, you guys have a conversation when I'm just riding around like woo Hoo on the horse. What the fuck are we doing? What the fuck are we doing? I'm guys told to be quiet. Guys, I think. This is going really well. You guys, this is equal time to come up for a game plan on what you're going to do with the Horseman.

49:27 I've gotten distracted. You've have a fucking frat boy. We're going to get nothing done. I've basically taken him out the way so you can have the conversation. The whole, the whole idea for us being here will say that you could gain favour, I suppose. Find out what his allegiances are, right, Whether or not he's aligned with Annan's or pancreatitis. Oh, it's a. Good idea, yeah. I believe that he was. Can I have all the history check on that? Yeah. 1517 on History. What you do remember, so fasse being like where all of the cavalry or like the main cavalry came from that was used during the war.

50:20 They particularly were put out when they particularly were put out didn't return everyone's shit at the end of the war. Like they, they put up a lot like some people just put up money or just generally like soldiers or equipment, whereas they, they gave their entire cavalry, their entire armed force to this. I don't have this law because I'm riding the horse. And he basically kept it. He said I need your your stuff, your men, your army to help free us of Katie's and then didn't give it back. And they were always pissed off.

51:03 You also remember from your conversation with Archimedes before you left to go to school that Fasse and Damia, which Damia again another militaristic state and had both pushed for secession sort of quicker. Dasse is more or less dead north of Annens Dan near is quite self, but they're both relatively nearby. Historically they have a sort of rivalry. So our communities had said that Dania and Dasse have both been quite loud proponents of secession that pancreatitis was fighting off and the Archimedes was trying to help kind of like quell some of that.

51:42 So not not big fans of gluten anus and sort of what do they what's their vibe on pancreatitis? You. You. Don't know. Don't. Know No. All you know is that they started pushing for secession, and pancreatitis has apparently been keeping that at Bay. So once the horses. Come back. Have you ever seen a radio? No, when they do this thing with the radio where the horses like run and then they skid their back ends in the dust to get those kind of like a really quick stop drifting. Yeah. Drifting Horse.

52:11 Like and then we do. The jumps over the fire pit? Yeah, goes into a power slide. It quizzes bagpipes in the IT gets playing. Yes, Oh my God, we had so sick. That was fun, dude. Yeah, I fist bump his nose. Yeah, the feed him a sugar Cuba. Oh. My God, he's just so fucking kidding. That's one of the things about being horse. You don't realise it's some of the basic shit in the world. Something becomes fucking amazing. Oh, it's OK. I guess I give the Prince like a squeeze on the shoulder to ask the questions about his thoughts on pancreatitis.

52:48 Yeah. OK, well, welcome back. This is this is my chief entertainment and culture advisor, Grassley even. Promote it, damn it bristles with pleasure. It mostly does stuff about 80's pop is a glad rock, but you know. It's about 15 eighties, 1680s. It's about they're all the same, OK. Anyway, glad you had a good time with him. So when I was doing this tour to, it's kind of drum up support for my becoming king. And how? How do you? How do you feel about that? Well, I guess it's a little better. You know Chad is going to be involved.

53:34 Party is going to be epic. Yeah, thinking about the celebrations. I got to be honest, I'm looking forward to the correlation. That sounds pretty, pretty sick and pretty excited for that. I'm a huge fan of of Chad, obviously, and Kelly, obviously. He's he's these great guys. What's your favourite thing about Chad? I'm just curious, what would you say his best asset is? The fact that you didn't tell everyone what happened to me when I got turned into a horse, I'd be wrong. A lot of people noticed.

54:01 Someone could have helped you, though, if they'd known. Yeah, maybe Chad. Oh, wait. No, he was. He was indisposed. With the other hottie. Yeah, that's my great friends. Yeah, well. Chad Meister. Yeah. Chad Meister, General.

54:19 Let's just say that she she wasn't as hard as she made out. Anyway, she went. Home with the night and wake up the 2. Happy man, they do it all the time. I'm kind of the level, but it's a thing with people and a lot of my, my advisors and my close generals and stuff, they're all, they're all kind of pushing for not being, not being part of a great dependent then if you like not being part of the Empire. They want independence. Yeah, I mean, they were never like originally. Like my dad always told me that gluten is kind of fucked us.

55:01 Sorry. Who is your? Dad, his name was Zephaniah. Yeah. He, he was, he led the cavalry for gluten anus in gluten anus, just to give it back after the war. He was always kind of bitter about that. And some of the guys have got around me were there for the war and kind of excited and not being on the glue, the anuses. I mean, we've been getting a lot of threats and shit from pancreatitis. Threats. Yeah, yeah. He's, you know, he's, he said that everyone else is kind of toeing the line. I mean, you did say that Prince Kodio was dead.

55:34 He didn't have to send another letter out to say that that wasn't necessarily true. That's been a mistake. But he said that Prince was dead and. Out of curiosity, when did you get the? Letter about him being dead. I guess like 3 or 4 weeks ago. Can we? Yeah. Can we like cross check? Yeah. Can we, can we see this when? We knew. Well no I'm asking the DM can we cross check that With what? What happened to the Prince? Like when did they start receiving letters that the Prince was dead?

56:09 Was it like the Prince left and then? It sounds a lot like pretty much like the moment you guys set foot on a boat the Prince was getting or they were getting there saying the Prince was dead and then quickly let us retracting that. Good news everyone. Interesting. And can, yeah, can we read the letter about what the wording of the Prince? Being done? Yeah, I'll have to find find out, get someone to look for it. Interesting. OK. And these these threats, are they, are they threatening you as a Kingdom being like, if you don't follow us and be part of the empire or whatever, we're going to take over or whatever.

56:58 Yeah, yeah. He pretty much threatening that if we, if I don't, you know, bend the knee. So to say that he's he's going to remove me, he's going to replace me with someone who will be a bootlicker for him, you know? Yeah. For sure. I reach in to my, I reach into my inventory and I pull out a I pull up the piece of killed flesh that I still have. Jesus, I. Guess holy shut that. What the fuck is that? He goes up on 2 legs, right?

57:36 Focus on the symbol. Does this symbol me have any meaning to you? Has anyone come to your Kingdom with this symbol? He kind of like sits down, go on chasing structures, chain with the hoof. Huh. Yeah, that look, that does look familiar. The top of my head camera and why feel like I've seen that. It might have been on the ladder, I'm not sure. The latter. This symbol belongs to a death cult that follow Thanatos. We're. Going to have to see these letters. Yeah. Yeah, I learned it clopses hooves together.

58:21 The Prince has stopped giving a shit. What? No. I'm still I'm listening to you guys are asking good point questions shit. I just think the Prince should try. Well, I I. Well, I I mean, it sounds like you've got trust issues. I think that's fair. We've all we've all hit like the important marks, right? Is there anything that the? Well, he still needs to have a good relationship with him. Yeah. So like. Is there anything? Anything we can do to, you know, convince you that? We're we're on the level again.

58:51 My dad screwed you over. I think he did that. To a lot of people, I. Have like. A motto. Or a. Chant or anything other than Brad, Chad and Chester. Like do they have like? No, that's like. Like, like Victor. Like Victor Semper. Yeah, what's your clans motto? Oh, Parastra at Castra through the camp to the stars. Yeah. That's what we thought it was, something about butt chugging, but maybe it's maybe it's more important. Because the Prince could like, throw that at him and be like, come on, you can trust me.

59:25 Oh yeah, remember that this will. Say turn the cavalry when you become king and queen. Nudge nudge. Shit, that's great. You're the future. Yeah, And then say the Maher. Yeah, I'm pushing for ways voices make a good point. If I'll give you kicks soon then I can. It's in my pallet to give you back control. Of one more autonomy. Over your your cavalry like you did a huge thing for the Empire. I think it would be great if we were still one thing, but that's the only get to ransom is is not fair. I'm standing in the background.

1:00:04 Also, who's gets absorbed past the fruit? Pradashtra, whatever. Pradashtra. I get my, I get my. Castra at Astra to the Stars. To Castra.

1:00:29 Through the cup into the units. OK, cool. I. Mean. Do you want royal persuasion? Maybe. Yeah. It's. 14 What are? The Princess stats. He has some stats now, so while you guys are putting Sam to bed, I used. You very quickly. I used the sidekick thing from Tasha's culture and to make him I used the noble stats from. So he has something to add to. But yes, so he has he has proficiency in persuasion. Oh good boy. So that becomes a 60. You'd hope there's a monarch. And with his Spark inspiration, it becomes a 19-O.

1:01:12 Yes, boy. Prince did something useful. Yeah, OK. Let's appreciate it, man. I feel like we need like a freeway high 5 here.

1:01:23 Guys. Hang on. Guys, guys, guys. Oh. Yeah. That was shit. Yeah. Ruth's never made that noise.

1:01:45 It just throws river look of absolute fascination. And the side was a little bit closer.

1:01:53 Here's a weak spot. Jesus, I appreciate that. But my my advice is they're going to want more than words. They're going to want some kind of proof that you guys. Set us up a meeting with your advisors. What proof would they like? Let's go. Proof that you can handle a task that you can give us your selflessly do something to. Help us well task give us one. OK hang on Cedric. He cuts his hat. Cedric acne ridden teenager again muddle over his face. You hope his muddle over his face comes up. Can't we just have?

1:02:33 One like pulls up a list. Freaking like mountain man I don't. Know so we're looking at the the docket, the the grand grand stables do need clearing out. Clearing out. Yeah, actually it's a it's a really good, Yeah. OK, good. Cedric, you, you take him down there. That's that's that's a good thing. Good idea. You guys go do that and I'll set up a meeting with my advisors and you guys. Question. Are the tools and things that we need in there because I'm not using my hands? Oh, you probably need more than that.

1:03:14 Let me show you. Maybe you can hold magic all the shit away. I could maybe put the entire grand stable into another plane. I'm, I'm sorry, no. Well, you don't have to do shit. It was fun. We don't need you. Take a break, it's going to be a miserable bastard. You should know that sometimes you have to do stuff like this to get to where you need to be, so don't be a twat. We're not peasants. Belle, Belle, I've got it. You are real Persuasion. If you're fucking happy, can supervise. Listening to a word that was so fascinating because it actually did just sound like.

1:03:56 OK, show us these ground stables. I bet they're going to have some to like persuade. Yeah. Good luck, guys. Thank you. Great. Great to see you. I'll let. You do the work alone, really. Appreciate you coming there to see us. I come back and scratch between these ears before there you go. You know for a fact there's going to be some fucking crazy shit in that. Crazy amount. Of shit takes you. Out Bell, you could sneak off and see what's around while we're doing it. I think we all need to go together because I have a feeling there's going to be monsters.

1:04:23 We're all going together. At the time of Beast episode 3 down here and just assume something's going to happen so they take you out of the door, etcetera. This rough looking peasant brings you out of the long haul and back down towards town and then you head South out of the city gate. So there's another, there's another city gate to the South. As you turn around, you can see there's there's one on the north as well. And as you come out of out sort of just out of the gate, you turn immediately back to the West.

1:04:56 So you go back towards the sort of sea, the sea back towards the palace, the kind of like follow around and just below the walls on a sort of like rocky outcropping is this huge wooden construction.

1:05:12 And there's a bit of a river flowing down alongside it. But it's it's kind of like like a like a really fast, like rapid waterfall going down to a near this stable. This stable is huge, like it's mobile storeys tall, sick. It's like an aircraft hanger, not quite that big, but big. And it is to the rafters filled. Weird horseshit. I really do think you should see if you could do something worthwhile magic to clear it quickly, and if not, we'll come up with a different plan. But it's gotta be worth a shot, right?

1:05:42 You gotta you gotta do stuff like this to get to where you are. Bell. So that you should. Do me a favour, can you sit outside and like count our money out or something, or workout our rations or what we're gonna need because there's shocks here and we're going to have to buy stuff. So let us just figure a plan out and we'll come and get you when we're ready and you work out what we need in the meantime. Night Lights, probably running low on candles. It does need some candles. So you just don't go anywhere.

1:06:11 Just sit outside the stable and let us figure this out for a minute and we'll run our idea past you. Supervisor, before we do anything, I'll give you a Rubik's Cube. For what? Not saying I don't trust. Rubix Cube. It's just got my face on her. I'll use fucking command on you if I. Have not saying not saying I don't trust you, but what do you have? It's. You sound like you're scheming. No, we haven't had the conversation yet. We need a minute to assess the situation. I will use command on you if I fucking have to sit outside.

1:06:43 Calm down, calm down, I'm not about to debase myself by shovelling shit for an afternoon. I lean into ick and I go. I just want to let. You know that my magic I'm not. I haven't necessarily. Mastered it, so I can't guarantee that it's going to be something helpful. Well it's all giggles and shits until the horse is shit and giggle. So I vote we just give it a go. I don't think I can just. Cast wild magic. I've disguised that. Just fuck off. A nice long hard day's work done by I could thunderclap.

1:07:25 It'd be out of the stable. Eventually it would. Work. OK, let's yeah, we'll go and assess the situation. Yeah, what does? Shatter do. Thunder attack that makes a big boom. Can't do that on poo. Yeah. Oh, it's. Really, it was. I think I'll think of a monster, the one I. Think Kyle the daggers if I want to stab the poo. Cut it into chunks. Message if I wanna have a chat with the. Investigation or perception Check if you must be OK actually examine it. Where do I examine the poo? An investigation, Jack?

1:07:58 Yeah, or. Fuck this is 7. Perception Insight. Can I roll insight? Yeah. Because my investigation is bullshit. So is that 7. This is a really big pile of shit. I I want to ask the little rat boy Cedric. Sorry, Cedric. You can call me wherever you want, you're a much higher station than I am. Oh, you're kind of sweet. And yeah, this is what we're doing. Whatever's like the pussiest devil thing. Just look. There's a reason I don't get along with my mom. OK, don't bring it up. It's hard. OK, anyway.

1:08:38 And. What is your? What was? What's the idea here? Like how? What do you want us to do? How do you do it? We are, we don't do it. That's the problem. It's been put off for a few 100 years. So you can't even use this space. What can we do for her to use wild magic? What needs to happen? Because I'm out of ideas? I'm not shovelling 100 years worth of shit. I mean I can technically do a role and use Tides of Chaos. Yeah, you can't force it. She was fell into it. I will cast. False life on myself. OK, give myself some HP.

1:09:15 OK well I will get the beans out if this doesn't work. Yeah, so you so you do Tides of Chaos. Yeah. Do an investigation, check it Advantage. Just see what you think of the cloud of shit. Now you know it's 100 years old. Yeah, I'd love to know your thoughts. Do it not do it not on the, not on the shit, but on the building itself. For 19 she knows a lot about shit. Were you? Investigating. I think I want to look at the the stability of the building. Because I have an idea. I'll, I'll, yeah, maybe like the structure of the building.

1:09:48 How rough can we be without destroying it? Basically it has a jet. This is a shit situation. Oh, the stability in the building. Sorry, I forgot where we were for a second because. It said shit situation, yeah. Yeah. This is it's an ancient building, but it look, it's pretty sort of sturdy, right? Like it's it's gonna stay put. I mean, it's been there hundreds of years. Yeah, like it can put up quite a bit, of course. I'm so sorry. Oh no, I'm sorry. Don't worry if this goes wrong, I have a backup plan.

1:10:21 And if that goes wrong I might have a micro plan. Does anyone have a fire extinguisher Counterspell? Yes, and I have magic beans. You have a counter. Spell. No, no. What's the counter spell? Just. Find don't have. It's a high level spell you don't have. It is it. It's a third level spell, but it's higher level than you are. 75. You teleport up to 60 feet to an unoccupied. Space. I'm in the ship, guys, Guys, I'm in the ship. But it's like this. It's like.

1:11:12 I can't get back. I'll get back. It's too much shit. It's such a shame that no one listens to this because it's. So funny, I don't want to be here you've. Broken my husband. I want to go back. I want to go back to my mom. I'm sorry I lie down. You just think hate me. I'm done. I think this might be a good time to get a magic bean out. She dies.

1:11:46 You got to swim back to should like you. You can't see me, you can just hear crying it made. Me do it. That would be so good that this is a cartoon. I think it panics. And. Go through the back I've got. The IT. Panics and throws the magic bean. The magic bean OK, I think you also have to roll the D100. Let me check I. Do have one and I've never used it, so let's hope it's a good christening. I have a sending stone I'm going to call whoever's on the other end. You can't get to it because you're in shit.

1:12:37 Your sending stone I think goes to primos. Right. Everybody.

1:12:46 Come in, shit. Everybody some. Guys are great giving them this turn. Come on, Dragon Lady. Everybody think. No, we don't. Everyone think giant shovel. Thoughts. OK, well, giant wheelbarrow. 72 a. Fruit tree grows. Yeah, so you. Throw a bean into this manure. This huge tree just sprouts. Can I climb the tree? I was going to say can RIP gets. The tree is close enough. This tree sprouts out of the shit and rivers just tangled up in these shitty branches. I am. Glaring. Can I throw another bean? No, I. Haven't missed it yet.

1:13:26 But I don't want to waste it. That didn't work. No, Save up, save them. We have to get the tree down. OK, so there's. 1D1 D 10 + 20 fruit, so roller D10. I'm going to eat all the beer out of. Protest that one. I'm going to cover all the fruit and shit 9 or 6. Definitely. Is that A6 or A9? For the lines, that's yeah, it's a six. It's a six, not a nine. So there's 26 bits of fruit roller D8. Is that this one? Yep. Is it? That's not AD. 8 No, that's AD 4. It's the what? No, that's that's D8, isn't it?

1:14:09 Yeah, it's a weird D4. 4. 4 So there's four of those fruit actors randomly determined potions. I'm gonna eat one. Bring the fruit on your way down. Yeah, just eat one now there's four of us. Yeah. OK. I think we should hear Bell. All right, Bell, Don't be mad. It's. Not going well. Come back comes back out. Bell like strolls around the corner. It just looks like you covered in shit up a tree that wasn't there before. It was Bell originally. Bell picking through. Can you ask them if they have? Why it was It's not going well to.

1:14:43 Wash my clothes. What right? What happened? Why did it happen? My wild magic teleport. But why would you? What were you trying to do? I don't know. I don't even think. Anything would have helped on my.

1:15:07 All right. And then I threw a magic bean and I treat it but the fruits magic. I roll a perception check on the building I. Perceived that we're fucked. And that's a Nat 20 what I'm that's a Nat 20 with by all. And that's true. I need to wash a shit out of. Your mouth 23 on a Nat I'm going to. Get a taste of straw on. Too I I can, I obviously I already know that like the the building is old, but how close is the wall to the lake? Because you said that there was a waterfall. Nearby, there's a waterfall nearby with the river like free.

1:15:47 So the waterfall kind of falls directly behind the building this stable's on, like a power dropping just outside the water and the water's like flowing like from almost underneath the wall down like behind the stable. There's a little bit of like water, like hitting the edge of this thing. Oh, so like the stable's up here, but the. Travels up here and the water carries on going down. Well, actually, not really, Bell. Do something. Are you still picking the fruit? Yeah. I want to eat one of the fruits.

1:16:16 I literally. Can't on a 23. On a 23 is there a by any chances sledgehammer nearby? Yeah, there's random tools and stuff around. It's a stable. I pick up the sledgehammer and I go to the back of the building and I take AI, take a swing. I take a swing at the back of the wall. We didn't even look. You're. Going to break the break the hundreds year old stable. We're breaking that wall down. Ship will fall out that way. We then work together to push it over the Cliff and then the waterfall takes it away and we we rebuild the wall, restock the hay.

1:16:56 OK, fine. Yeah. Do we have what we need to rebuild it before we smash it down? Yeah, we'll. Figure out. We've got the tree, the wood from the tree that's sprouted up in the mid look perfect, yeah. All to attack on the walls. In the wall. Please roll well. Oh no. I go, I go bow. That looks like a weak spot over there. The Prince is going to help. Yeah, yeah. Thank God, because that was. Do you need bad against bow? It all takes a bad against bow. It might be. The shit in my eyes but it looks weak.

1:17:28 I could have given you bad against SO but I didn't. Nothing. Yeah, that's much bad. 13 if I'm and because I'm using strength 567 no 720. You get to roll the D6. Yeah, yeah, 24. That sounds like the ball came down. Yeah, you fuck that wall. Up. That was just a hit. I don't know how much damage I did. Or doesn't that matter? I'll say with a 24, you just stop hammering and after it, well, you make a pretty sizable hole in the in the back of this wall, right? It's just like plaster wood on the other side.

1:18:08 So it's just like knocked through. So you now have like you like, it's a little tricky. Like you have to watch your step because you're like right on the edge of this ledge as you swing at the wall. But yeah. Right. OK. Now that we have the hole, do you have Thunderclap do the hole and you have made hands? Yes, No. You took it off me. I'll, I'll. Yeah, I'll. Thunderclap and try and push some of this. I have shatter. Like. Push some of it out. Shatter. Have we had a long rest? Yeah, you're. OK. Because otherwise I don't have nothing.

1:18:41 Can I take that? Potion first. Of what? I'll just eat the fruit. Oh, eat your fruit. Yeah. Roll AD 12. I draw a thrust. Of potion if you think. Can we have a fruit as well? Yeah, the Prince. Can have one too. Oh great. Yeah, roll AD 12, I throw. Is that AD 12? Yes. 7. 10. So you get a potion of mind reading. Don't. Put that on my fucking pulpit. The Prince, it's gaseous form, so he turns into a fire. What did you roll? 77? You get a potion of growth, so. So enlarged weapons. So does that mean my weapons enlarged with me?

1:19:23 Yeah. OK with Cerberus Fang I start pushing the shit through the whole. Yeah. I'm gonna it's cantrip, so I'm just going to cast Thunder. Cool strength chicken advantage then. I'm hanging on to my potion and not drinking it yet. I think the Prince should save his for a moment where he's like this potion will help me. 15 on string track? Oh no it's not. It's not. It's a lot higher. That's 3020 on the string track. Cool. Yeah, You start shoving this shit like out of the back and you can hear it like falling off the back of this Cliff into the waterfall.

1:20:12 You can hear that happening. But as you do, because there's like, it's all in the rafters and stuff as well, some bigger blobs come down behind you and Riv is in line. Where's the acrylic standing? I was like at the bottom of the tree because I've thrown the bean and then it will you couldn't get in. It's bullshit. I tell about 60. I guess I'm in the. Doorway. Cool. So you're in the doorway, so you're kind of behind you see these big giant blocks of, you know.

1:21:01 Can I give? Her.

1:21:14 What am I doing? Deception. Deception. I've got +5 so that's unnatural 2021. Yes, yeah. They don't take you straight away, but you roll initiative.

1:21:29 But that's where we'll leave the. Episode. Oh my God. That was the funniest shit ever. I.

1:21:40 Refuse to break character. It's going to be a long drive home. Thank everybody for listening like rate, subscribe, etcetera. Share us with friends and family and people at work and all the other people. We do work really hard on this so please. I work really hard on. This please share us. Hey, my comedic timing is working hard. I have product fatigue just getting here as a mission. Fair enough, fair enough. Relatively easy for me.

1:22:11 It's a labour of love, but as we said earlier, it's that thing you do as a kid where you made radio shows and you cassette player or whatever the fuck. The equivalent of for Alex's generation, but I'm assuming that with mobile phones I had a. Anyway, sorry. Yeah. But yeah, like race subscribe, I've started as an Instagram account. There's nothing on there yet, so feel free to. That's how you know you're in the right place. They can't add stuff to our page. It's not how it works. Well, we're 6 or 9 D&D on Instagram anyway.

1:22:44 You can look us up, I guess, and follow us. I will. I will sacrifice a random set of my dice and post them to the 50th person to follow us on Instagram. Pick a number that you know you're not going to have to follow through with this. Yes. We don't to be clear, we don't have 6 or 9 dice. It will be 1 of my like cheap, random personal. Dice, personal dice that have actually been rolled on this podcast. Yeah, I will. I will send. We'll play with the. Dice that roll absolutely shit so. The the 50th person to follow us can DM us and will the 50th person will send some dice to Fucking hell.

1:23:30 Sorry, 50th person we will send some dice to. We'll just get their information and then send it, yeah. Yeah. Deal. So follow us please. We're fucking desperate. And for the first time since we started this podcast, I don't have a charity to plug. Wow. So. I'll see you next time. Yes, see you. Next time, bye. Bye.

1:23:58 What'll be showing him? Oh. I don't know gave. Me it. Gave me the energy of this DND post name. Is this cream soda? Do you want to try this? No. You touched my feet. Sorry, I bet we do. I don't like it. I'm. Touched by toddler? My Ding Ding Dong.