Panatheon 24: In The Shit

0:00 Hello and welcome to a 7609 and. I'm with the DNT podcast Made by Idiots. My name is Maricol and I am here with Maria Nicholson. I'm playing IK rastly. Carl Nicholson. I'm playing Bell Suffolk and. Armitage Shanks. That's not even close. Do you know what you do not get a dice. I even had some set out. What? Yeah. Fuck. Do you know her actual name? Amanda. Sheet paper. I. Don't know. I'm going so close. It's not even close. I don't know why, I said. That at some point this joke has to die. I can't do this for the rest of my life.

0:41 Right. And you will. I got to a point where I've stopped figuring it out beforehand. What ones were they? It's. Very unfortunate. Well there was 2 little duckies and this one is a cool boat. It's like a pirate ship. What's her name? What's her name? It's not the Nine Hells. It is. It's the. 9 Hells captured if that's. What this fucking? Is it's still, we're still in the studio and it's still 500° in here. So forgive us. The summer that never fucking ends. It won't end. That's it. Forever. Now I. Don't like it?

1:12 Well, that's a shame. That's climate change. No, it's not. That's not a real thing. Oh, sorry, Donald Trump said. It's not. Donald Trump doesn't exist. Thinks he's an expert on windmills. Of course he is. There's a bunch of windmills right in front of. His golf course, which is oh fucking. Hilarious. I've heard people come for Trump in so many ways, but I just wasn't expecting that sentence. Yeah, it's a famous thing about he he went to Scotland, he complained about. Oh yeah. It goes on and all about how windmills are bad for everyone because he's got money from petrol companies.

1:43 Yeah, and so the Scottish Government immediately voted to build a wind farm off the coast of his. And then he said, but he didn't like the Mayor of London because he's quote, nasty. He. Didn't like him because he's a Muslim. I know, but is he? But is he Muslim? Yes. Is he actually can't? Yeah, it doesn't mean he's Muslim. He is. OK. We're fine, but it's like that. He that's what he means. But have you? Seen The thing is, he's smart enough to know that he can't openly say racist, misogynistic, homophobic things.

2:16 So he says that person's nasty and his fans just fill in the blank because they're a bunch of racist, homophobic, etcetera. It's. Like your dog? Yeah, yeah, it. Is I. Fear. That that has not stopped him from saying. I do fear that we have got off. Topic Wait, wait, one thing did you see he had like a like, I think he had like a football team or a basketball team come to the Oval Office and he looked at them in the eyes and went, oh, women basically saying women shouldn't be playing sports. And they're like, our girls team is actually really good.

2:57 Yeah, well, they don't have to cancel games because people will vibrate, is that? Anyway, Oh my God. Yeah, what's going on? Saw your shit. How? America for fuck's sake. Anyway. Luckily we're not there. So anyway, we're gonna have to redo that whole fucking intro, but yeah. Before you've. Got our names? I think that's enough to go. On, let's do a recap. Alexis finds not on silent unprofessional. Was anyone good? Sorry, it's Donald Trump. Who wants to vibrate his back?

3:32 He needs a snappy change your balls recording for a minute. You know what? It's tough. Do you need to pay real well? Do. You need to. Pay anyone anything. You're right, it's a fucking scammer anyway for some reasons. Weirdly, weirdly anti Trump. It's perfectly normal fucking ponies anyway. Never be weirdly anti Trump.

3:53 Last time you guys finally made your way to Fasse, home of the Horse Lords, you had a quick look around town before making your way up to the Viking Mead hall style palace at the top of the hill in the middle of the town where you met to Matzo the horse Lord. Who is a horse? That's a Lord, get it? Anyway, get a little conversation about him with him. The Prince introduced himself and laid out his mission. He's feeling out everyone's vibe on him being the king of Panatheo and then he wanted to see if everyone how everyone feels about it.

4:32 The warlord. The matter revealed that he was pretty cool with Chad being the advisor and that definitely helped raise his opinion of the Prince and his decision making. He also really got on with it. Grassley, the fucking horse whisperer. I was like, what's she doing? She's playing this wrong. And I'm like, hey, well, I've got all the information and he's on board. Yep, he's ours now. Yep, he's he's well, he revealed that he's quite happy to be on side with the Prince. However, the local dignitaries of That's A were a little less cool on the topic and still harboured resentment for Gluteanus in the way that he treated them after the war against Kadir.

5:13 He also revealed that he was being blackmailed and threatened by Pancreatitis, who had been sending messages to the city and to them himself, warning him not to go ahead with the threats of secession that they had been making, that he would replace himself if he had to. He also revealed that he had sent a letter to the city claiming that the Prince had been killed around about the time that you guys are being shipwrecked, and that he quickly had to send the letter rescinding that claim. The Prince then suggested that maybe you guys could do something to help the Lords of that say change their minds on how they feel.

5:50 His assistant Cedric pointed out that the Grand stable needed cleaning out and had done for some time. You guys be gradually agreed to go and do that. You made your way down to the stables on the outskirts of town where you found a giant aeroplane hanger essentially filled with shit. You each took turns the oven R about how you're going to clear it before rib spam some wild magic in the hope of finding a solution and ended up just teleporting into the middle of it. It threw some of his through one of his magic beans which grew a tree which grounded potions.

6:27 Some of them were healing potions, some of them turned people into farts. Some of them were actually useful and created the growth effect on Bell, who then used Cerberus Fang his. And yeah, I didn't write down anywhere I don't think what my fucking potion was. Oh no. Mind reading you? Knowed it Cephalus used Cerberus Fang to start pushing the manure out of the back wall that he had previously destroyed and Rick was Thunder clapping at it to try and push it back and dislodge it. Meanwhile, it Grassley.

7:04 Sorry if it smells. I had to take my That was him. Dear, dear listener, that was not. Me, I didn't apologise, the hard time I didn't. Have to take. My shoes off to stop that happening. I had to take my shoes off because I'm so fucking hot and I can't my body temperature. Totally hot it Grassley standing at the door giving everyone encouraging words. No, it's some rather large lumps of manure dropping from the ceiling which then started to vibrate and come to life. And that. After 25 minutes where we are.

7:42 I vaguely remember with being like my brothers and trying to blend in. Everyone roll emission and then rib did roll something insanely high current. This is writing horrible things about everyone. A bits of paper. So you know what I love? What I love is I'm not. Really paranoid that you're upset with me for some reason. The largest member of our group has done nothing to help with the actual fucking manual labour that we are doing. Because it Grassley is actually scrawny. He might be tall, but he's weedy.

8:17 Is that A6 or A9? Point. 6 right initiative OH, plus 1/7. 21. 1212 You are first. So these lumps of big lumps of anur drop down onto the floor and start vibrating and start raising up, sort of like weird typically bits out of them and stuff.

8:42 Yeah, you know you've had a bad day when your shit actively tries to call out the toilet. You know, even a bad day when your shit grows tentacle would be like, oh I knew I shouldn't have that calamari. Never digest calamari. Probably like these lumps on the floor start wiggling and moving around and it Grassley being at the door manages to raise the alarm and let everyone know and Bell turns. It's all drawn. That shit's fucking moving. Shit's getting real. I think you'll find it's vibrating. Now, under the effects of the growth potion, do I gain any bonuses?

9:22 You have advantage on the strength cheques and saves and you get plus one D4 damage to your weapon. Am I, Am I on the other side of the mountain of shit? So you were pushing the mountain of shit out of the back of the building. Yeah. So you're about halfway and you've you're sort of like standing there with this mountain of shit. These things have also like dropped into the middle of this stable between the three of you, if you like. So currently you sort of turn around and you look in Grassley's direction, who's standing in front of the door, and there's all of these oozes.

9:54 But I assume there's a horrified look on his face. It's like a pretty boy, you know what I mean? Like, he's glam. He does. He's glam, right? He don't want to be anywhere near moving. Tentacle covered shit. This. Is going to ruin my kilts. Yeah. Your teddy goes off by sparring. How? What's the? What's the distance between? US Oh, you can easily get it with 31st. Was there two or how many was there? Was there like? There are. There were 6. Is it? Are they like spread out in like a circle? Or yeah, yeah, they kind of like just landed.

10:24 Right. I dash forward. I, I, I'm going to burn a superiority dice. I'm going to use a lunging attack yeah, 22 to hit that hits and I still have Cerberus Fang equipped, so I will be using the Great Sword 810. You lunge forward and slash down on this ears, you cut it in half and you you cut clean through it in the middle of it and you see them kind of like form up into two small users. Fucking hell. And then they both rate to see the pods. So primary audio poos. Action, Serge. I swing again, not 20.

11:03 50 slush down into this and it kind of parts into two, and then like you like just stab into another one. Keep fucking swinging and. So we we've killed. One, you killed half of 1/2. Another one, the one that's left is going to slam Bell. It's soupon rolls a 21 to hit. It hits. 6 damage. Lovely. You get slapped by this little thing. So that Mini 1 slaps you and then another one comes over to the from the side and it's actually 16. That's the second pair, and they're actually gonna go for Riff. But with friends she was like.

11:46 Brothers, I'm joking because you're just covered in shit, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, I've been. You're in your own. You're a cloak I've. Been swimming? Around OK, one rolled at 23 and the other rolls a 11. And I take it you are not within 5 feet? Doesn't it? No No 20. Three. No, you fucking missed it mate. By Mark. Where are my job? Sit in touch. OK, who is near me? Do you see the pods, Bell? Bell's about to charge for that. Yeah. So yeah, Bell charged into the fray. OK, I'm going to. Do oh wait, because you're now stood next to some.

12:24 You need to make a save and Manoa gives off an odour so pungent it can bring tears to the eyes. A creature that starts its tone within 20 feet of the use and I succeed ADC 13 conseil or have disadvantage in attack roles so. Well luckily my saving through constitution is +6 so it's not bad. My first one. You won that one. If you fucking genesis me, I'll break. You do. You. Understand.

12:58 She went on that one. This is.

13:02 Going to be a raucous. Oh my God, they're ripping their shirts off. What the fuck? It's a nine. Go yeah, this is fine. It's under your attack. OK, fantastic. I'm going to ask you guys this one more time. Please leave your clothes on when you're fighting. Three times is enough. But I don't want to get stuff on my clothes so I have to RIP them off. 90 feet, you dived into that shit. I think that's stupid. Pass. Right, I am going to. The toga, it's, it's compressing, you know, you need to have that upper movement.

13:36 Yeah, you don't want to get your armour all dead it up in a battle or anything. I'm I'm going. To.

13:44 OK, so I've got. 1330. Feet in movement. Yeah, but these things are standing next to you, slapping you. There's your pods. Where's that? 15 feet. I had a 15. Off foot to the right. Oh, no direct Dag Dagon. All right, What are you? Saying yeah, how many attack opportunities? You get 2-2 if you move away now I. Want to move away? OK. No, because I want to do a bonus action. Right. So I'm just going to take the hits. OK, fine by me. One world a 12 and the other world is 17. 17 hits, That's rough. Oh no.

14:28 What's that 13? 13 Oh, I'm hurting. I'm going to run up to Bell and I'm going to go and I'm gonna cast as a bonus action dragon breath on you and I'm gonna run away. You don't have to cut more and half now so. Now you've it's a 15 foot cone, right? And it's 3D6 OK. And then all the creatures in the 15 foot cone IS3D6. But you do that on your turn. And then as an action I am going to I'm going to get turned back around to the ones that were hitting me. Cool. So they make a say, don't they? One gets a 15, the other gets a 12.

15:05 So one of them takes three damage. Oh, use the dragon breath. I just. I haven't had a girl. No, it's because you always probably talk to you for an issue. You're always up. That's two more oozes. One's going to go for a Grassley and try to slap him with a super bod. That's a 7 + 4. It's 11. Is this armour class? Yeah, my Armour class is 12. Like me, yes, always irritating when he Grassley dodges, I feel. Like he Grassley jumps backwards from the poo thing and just like a. Little. He's like, no, no, no.

15:42 No, the other one. You're doing the cha cha slide away from him. Take a bath now. Yeah. The other one is. Going to go the. Other one is going to go for the person standing next to Grassley. There's someone sitting next to Young. Prince, OH. My God. Yeah, the Prince. It rolls a big Who's dead Dean to hit. That hits and. The Prince. Has no His AC is 16. Whoo it looks disappointed he. Snaps it away. Oh. If it was, if it was Chad. You better miss it. No matter. Yeah. I mean, yeah, no, Chad doesn't have any.

16:18 I don't want to him. One of these things poo piles charges of Grassley who jumps out of the way, and another one comes in a Prince who's like it also jumps out of the way. Let's see Grassley's turn. I feel like none of my spells are going to work on this. I can reason with it. I can. Make literally. Rick does shatter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Woo go. I blow all my bagpipes really hard and it makes a big loud noise and I can't shatter. Nice they make Constitution saves. The guidance there. The Big Brother.

16:50 Oh what? A2 and A5? So they yes, they definitely fail that. 62 and a 2, so 10. That's good damage. They don't split in half, which is good so that. Was a bonus I guess. That's the Prince. So they're splitting in half if they get slashing damage, right? And with the. Right, that's the prince's turn. Prince winds up with his short sword, takes a stab, and who's? Just like arms crossed, watching him, waiting to see if he does anything useful. That's a hit. I thought it's going to be a not 20 and. My boy.

17:23 Dabs into this thing my. Boy.

17:28 And he does 5 damage. Do a news. Shit, it's. Too. It's too hot. I'm so proud of you. I did it. He's stabs into this thing. He's just like wiggling it around. It's like that shit's made on his sword. He's like, I did it but. Now lift it to your mouth and you lick the sword in. Celebration. I've seen they'll do that. Background to Bell. You have dragon breath. Yes. What did you, why did you touch me? What did you do? I gave him like a big whack on the back and he just like coughed it out. The fuck the fuck was?

18:00 Just, you know, feel you're in a dragon, what you know, everyone's got one, fine. It doesn't. Like I think of I I I close my ass and I think of like a threat. Don't we all? Don't we all?

18:14 Razor wing? Razor Wing. I. Refuse to admit that she wasn't still in my bed when did. You roll A5 on perception when you found out. Like a practise that's just your fan girl, me and Alex like while she fucked me.

18:33 Who needs more help? I'm like covered and I've got like shit going into wounds and I go but I'm good. Thanks for the others. OK. No, yeah, no. You do what you. Need to do I position myself so that one edge of the cone is on white on the and white on the outside of the one that's attacking me, and the other end of the cone is right next to the OR is right next to Ick and the Prince so that I save them as well. Cool.

19:09 Famous con saves no Dick stage rather. Oh God, there's a gnat 1A they've got -2 six and a 14. OK, one takes 5, the other two take 10678. Yeah, 1010. Is it considered an action to change what? No, I. Can't for action. I sheath Cerberus Fang and I plant my flail. I am going to burn a superiority dice. I rally riff. Nice. You gained eight points of temporary help 0. Thank you. Waited for a gap. Don't you just He was initially in the middle of saying no. He was rolling, so it was silent. I waited. And then that's one time.

19:55 Cool, that's the first mini ooze. Oh shit, I take it back. There was another ooze in front of you, so there's another one that needs to make a save which failed so that also takes 10 damage. OK, good. How are? You. Yeah, that's fucking sick. It's like a shooting pain in my right arm and I just wanted to confirm that a heart attack is the left arm right echo cause of it's just like a nerve thing. It's coming of toast. I don't spend any. Shortness of breath, tight chest No. You're OK? Yeah, I know.

20:25 That's concentration not come in here I could. Drop dead and they'd say it's just the menopause. So try losing weight endo. Take the paracetamol. Yeah, take the personal. They're still like, it's just a bad period. I'm like. The mini U's and the U's are gonna pseudopod you. Uh huh with the flaming pseudopods. 1 rolls and 18 + 4 and the other rolls in that 20. Both of them. Oh. It's gonna be so much damage as well because they get an extra D6 for being on fire so. Oh. My God. No, that OK. This is 90 sixes, 20 sixes against Bell.

21:04 I'm so sorry. So. I have killed games. OK. He's so excited. So am I. 25. 25 Yeah. So when that hits, the little ghost tattoo on my arm glows and I get it insubstantial by half my damage. Bitch.

21:32 And you were so happy rolling that big amount as. Well, five rounded down, I guess. 12 damage, yeah.

21:41 Excuse me but lol Lamal isn't. It, Bucky, was your nice little D 20. Right, so that's 18 damage and tall. Prick fine, never get to roll well. You rolled well. Yeah, I did, yeah. It just didn't matter. That's the other two pseudopods, which annoyingly aren't on fire, are going to attack RIB. Well, this could be the end. No, it's a 12 and a 14. It beats it. 14 hits. How close are they? Oh, slash you to me? Slash them they. Still get them about 15. Foot, OH for Fox. Does it have to be my go to throw like Barbican spell at them?

22:26 Yeah. Sorry dude, that's all good one hits. 11 damage. Do you remember? You've got 5 minutes. Yeah, it's. 8910. 11 so that's I'm at 12. I'm OK, I'm chill. Really. That's your turn. OK, I am going. I keep forgetting this. Make a constitution check. Hasn't it matter? It didn't affect him on his go. 17 Yeah, he passed. I am going to cast chromatic orb on the dude in front of me. Cool. And I'm going to use ties AK. Go. To get an advantage on the rock, not 20. So, OK, right. First of all, so that's 25 in case you're wondering.

23:16 For those of you keeping score. OK, so if I roll two of the same number and it jumps as well. OK, so that's 6 D8. What kind of damage are you doing? Well, now we know that fire. They like fire. I'm going to do lightning. OK, good choice. I don't know if I like the way you said that. No, it's just it does have some immunities. But you picked it so. Go go with Lightning.

23:41 I'm going to go don't be a real Thunder because I know that works. Dammit. 30 damage on the first one. He's dead. He's not dead. He's he's Oh fuck, very he's they're surprisingly meaty and. Then it jumps to the next. One yeah. 7, seven hits. Oh. My God. 1010 damage a sandwich. Nice, nice. And then I'll roll my tits, OK? Oh yeah. Just because this is so focused on piles of shit, in two weeks me and Carl are taking Dad and Rachel Ireland. I've got to drive because obviously Dad can't and I'm going to force him to this into this.

24:27 So I've got him trapped in the car for 12 hours. 40 40 on the table. Oh. Shit, I forgot the thing. Don't know. You turn into a potted plan. Yeah, the incapacitated condition and have vulnerabilities or damage. If you drop the zero hit points, your pop breaks. Is your pop reverse, so I guess you just have your hit points.

25:04 I was very long way. Points. Anyway, it doesn't say what kind of plants. So what would you like to be? I would like to be. I think I'm going to go for like a nice leafy monstera. A cheese plant. OK, fine. It's gorgeous. I'm gonna look so healthy. I'm come from once. Or you turn into one of those tiny ones that your mum has. Oh my God. I'm surrounded by manure as well, so I'm just. Yeah, she has. Little baby monsters in your living room. Oh, the the mini one. Yeah, but like this big. Yeah, yeah. So right, she takes damage, the pot breaks and then she refers to a form.

25:43 When she reversed to a form, is she back at like? No, she just has her head points. So if she if it attacks her, it will she gets she gets knocked, Yeah, but I'm. Invulnerable to all. Damage. No, you're vulnerable. You take double damage. Oh shit so when so when the pop when the pop up breaks and she reverse back to her like normal self, she's dead. It doesn't say it breaks concentration or anything. So you still have your Dragon's breath for city? Consolation. So it was like when you turn, like when you polymorph and you turn into a beast and then that's there and then you revert back to your hit points that you were at.

26:21 So that's all I was saying. How many hit points does a potty plant? Have none. That's the question you've got to. Ask it says you. I'm going to say that it's just your hit points. Yeah, OK, fine. Can. I talk. No, you're a plus. You're fucking sat. Away. Shut up, you Bush. Fucking Trump. No, no, hang on. It's a couple of losers. One's going to attack it, Grassley. It's on fire. Fucking rolling that one, you lucky bastard. The other one's going to attack the Prince. Is this? Like the best luck when it comes to attack.

27:00 Fucking roll A5 on the Prince. You guys are like charmed or something. This is fucking ridiculous. We're just smoking. Big that is your turn. Does anyone need cure wounds this round? Like is anyone getting in really struggle without it? It's a flower. Honestly, just leave me. Yeah, I'm good. You good? Do you know what? We'll save it for a more edge. I might. Just stay as a flower I'm at. 50% health. So you're OK for now. I'm, I'm yeah, I'm OK, OK. Well, can I use Shatter again then? Yeah. Right.

27:34 Yeah, you can fuck up the two that you've fucked up. Before I have to roll to see if I hit right. No, they make a constitution, so and. Then you roll damage, Yeah. One pass, one fail. 17. 17. Yeah, I rolled a four or five and an 8. Down.

27:50 That's dude cool they got properly fucked up. Anything else bonus action. Do you have mate? I don't. I don't think you do. You don't have mage hand do. You, no, you guys took it away from me and then every game since then you've we use your mage hand, but you all took it from me. It's a shame I could actually like save you now. I could save Riv right now. Bonus action mate. Hand pick up. I don't know. I'm going to do Mantle of Inspiration. Nice roll a body of inspiration dice. That's the D6, isn't it?

28:23 Yep, D6. And it says I can do it up to four creatures. So I guess I'll give it to Bell, the pot plant. And does the Prince need any hit? Points not at the moment, but it can't hurt. 3. Everyone gets six hit points and you can use a reaction to move if you wish, as now without taking an opportunity. I do need to know. You can't move your plant. Is this? OK. Is that 6 temp? Just had. To hope that the poo's not smart and it hasn't figured out that you are the plant. No, it's all me and I attract it.

29:01 So you like basically attacked it and then just said you can't see me? Yeah, you guys would have seen this orbital like vibrating magic just bouncing around these things go and then we're just fucking. That's when you when you gave me that temp HP, I kind of go. I think. A wheel of cheese pops out of the leaf. As I understand, that's what those plants do now. I wish my one did. Cool. Good, good turn. That's the prince's turn. He has to make his constitution safe to see if he's going to be able to hit.

29:43 He rolls a heroes an 8 for Constitution, so here's a disadvantage. So now he attacks a disadvantage. That's a 16 in that one he misses because he's coughing too much on the stench of burning manure. Bell, you're up. Did you move? I have not moved yet, but I'm about to move. Good, we've got 2 pretty fucked up oozes attacking you. That's fine. I will expend. I'm going to start keeping track of these I have. You've got one left. Yes, I've got one left. Evasive footwork. I can I can expend 1 superior.

30:18 I die and take the disengage action. I roll the die and add the number roll to my AC until the start of my next time. I have AI have armour class of 22. What the fuck? Try and hit me now, you bastards, right?

30:36 All right, I don't know about you Armour Class 22.

30:43 I jump over to the plant. The evasive footwork doesn't actually do anything to OK, so they do. Get to hit you. You do, you do. You can roll for a cycle of opportunity. But I have increased AC. Nope. No, maybe close. They swipe at mid air. All right, now that I'm fucking close to the plan, Sentinel will help you with one, with the very, at the very least, with like, one attack. I'm not in control of the dragon breath, am I? You are. So you I can't change the element, which means dragon breath is fucking useless.

31:23 Yeah. Yeah, you can still target a whole bunch of them. I mean, I can, but they gain bonuses from being on fire so. Well, yeah, why would I want to do? That. Going to put up my fail. Oh, make a Constitution check 31. Yeah, it's. Fine, put up. I put up my fail and which one of the two is most likely to die? Which one? Can. I have a perception on that. Or should I have rather? No, there's the one on the left. If you're looking at the two that are attacking grave or fighting grave, one has had a massive chunk flowing out the side of it by some Thunder and the other one just was kind of saggy.

32:03 OK, I'm going to take the one with the chunk blown out of it with my flail. It hits. It's just there's a lot to add up. It's like 22 plus. Yeah. Clowns. Claim a wall. Smack this God damn.

32:21 It like 710 points are bludgeoning damage and it has SAP I feel. Like the Prince is on the side by it's like. The Prince did one good thing. Yeah, he's like. He only hit once, just. Full of himself now though, isn't he? He's going to be fucking unbearable. I. Kicked the shit out of a pile of shit. It gets. I can't fight. And just blows them right in the prince's face. And then he's like, oh, sorry, I didn't see that. Incredible spittle flies out the end of the pipes. He. Loses turns, so the first two that you were fighting, so after you.

33:00 I already feel sick. Don't do. That and they're just both going to take a swipe for you with their Superpods. What was your own class 23? 2. Yeah, not be close, right? Sorry, sorry. Yeah, 22. Yeah, don't think about it. I'm not the one you just attacked is going to attack you. Hold. On hold on, when does that until the start of my next time? Well, it rolled me, so it doesn't matter. And then the other one is still going to attack the potty plant because it hasn't been attacked yet. So it's going to attack Riff.

33:37 Yeah, the plant 16 to it. Yeah, definitely it. So you get your bomb and all to that. So that's double damage. Am I going to get like sucked into the? 17 damage are. You dead. I have.

33:58 Fucking irritating. Speaking of which. Sentinel and yes, now that now that I'm actually in range and I can use it. 6 temp and 12 normal.

34:11 It's now, is it? Because.

34:16 I. Need to Roll Tide the chaos again. 16 to hit. Yeah, 16 hits. Sixteen hits. Oh, it's only two at the start of your next turn. Oh, thank God. Come back alive. I won't hit points I'm. Still standing like I'm a point of blunt because I don't. Realise it takes 10 points of flattening and is sapped. It's a disadvantage as well. What's left? There's still 5 left. They're all looking pretty fucked up now. The damage has been spread. We're not zoning in. We're it's very AOE at the moment. Yeah, it's working brilliantly for me and Riv.

34:55 That is your turn though. Yeah, so Riv's back in the room. Oh. OK. Probably you will just get the fuck out again. You, I think you need to go back to like wizarding school or something. I think you should try it again because it's so far it's just been phenomenal every. Single time and.

35:16 I always want to know what's going to happen next. Bring back my Unicorn. Bring back my Unicorn. Is is is is drinking a healing potion a bonus? Actually, yes. OK. Can I? Yeah. I I subscribe to roles that I stole from an iPod where if you do a full action or drink it as a full action you just get the maximum amount of healing. Oh. Otherwise it's both action. Can I do that? Yeah, you can just use your turn to drink a potion. Well, no, because then I'm going to use my spell. Yeah, I'm going to use my sorcery points too.

35:48 Yeah, OK, cool. We're thinking category. Now I am. OK, so use your. Just make this through the heat and come out the other side. Why an A sorcery? It's literally a level one thing you get for the sorcery for a minute you gain you gain plus one AC and plus one's your spell saves and attacks or some shit. Didn't write it down, Carl's just had. This happening. Well, loser, fuck you, do you. Want to know what sandwich attacker does? I've not used this at all. Once per turn when you hit a target with a weapon, you can roll the weapons damage twice and use either roll against the target.

36:25 Yeah, you've done, you've done that when literally twice. What's Max healing then for a? For a healing potion is 2 D 4 + 4. That's twelve. Yeah, back. Thank God for that. Needed that. Oh.

36:42 You said that like an old woman that's just got a shopping, just like to get the business rained. She's ready to put the kettle. On okay, I'm. Almost. I'm almost 100% sure I'm using tighter chaos wrong, but you know what? It's fun. I think it adds to the story. And I also think it's our fucking game and well. I think it adds. It as long as we consistently fuck it up. Yeah, we have been completely clear that we are idiots. Yeah. I think it's using. Ties of Chaos roll a Constitution check. That's 21.

37:14 OK, Yeah, you're fine. That is 1415. 6/4. Ruses, that's a 6A7 and A4. 17 I'm sorry, I worked it out pretty much.

37:31 That's yes, that's 17. 17 Are you doing that to the moderately fucked up one or the very fucked up 1? I'll get the moderately, so go for the. Yeah, I'll go for the very. Go, it's dead. Thank God you stepped on that shit. I go. Mush it. Even though I've already got pool over me, I'm going, yeah. It's scraping it off. Good. Vase and then yeah, ties to chaos. That is a 47. Please don't be a point part again. Feel extraordinary. You went up three creatures you choose within 30 feet of you have the invisible condition for one minute.

38:04 You guys and me, fuck the Prince. What? I did mean three creatures, so yeah. OK. Yeah. The Prince as well. Oh. My God, you guys are just like, it's just like, what can I just. Say what we could do in this one minute is run the fuck away. No, we've got to finish it. I. Guess. I would have run up to the Prince and gone. You have to do this on your own now. Who's going? I can't see any of this. It depends. When we finish, it's our turn. I finish my turn. Cool. It's the finish turn. I knew this. They, they can't really do it.

38:49 They sort of fester around a bit and then they're sort of confused. They start moving away, back towards the big pile of shit against the wall. Perfect. They're crowding together, would you say? Yeah, they always start moving towards the big part of the ship the Bell was pushing. If you've made them turn into one giant poo and we're All in all. These two poos move away. These are the ones that standing in front of the Prince Grassley. As they move away, you can make an opportunity attack. OK. Oh, sure.

39:21 Which would be an advantage. So that's shatter again, right? No. No, no, it'd just be with your dagger. If you do that, you'll break your invisibility. So if you wanted to keep it. It's fine because I also have it's sky self so worst case scenario I can hide again in a minute. It's not how that works, but fun. Well, I have others. Sky self changes what you really like. How many? Spells on well, I can turn myself into poo, I can command them, it'll be fine. It's. Not bad 19-O. Yes. Yes, you do surprise me.

39:53 Then what do I roll for daggers? Because I didn't. Either you're on AD 4 plus plus your Dexterity plus one. Your DAG is becoming less shit. Oh my God, where did they go? 3. No, I rolled A10 no trip. Yeah, my Dick Siri is 1. OK, go. It starts to slide away and you attack it out of nowhere. It just gets a knife in the back, turns around, it turns around and we just stabbed it in the back. It decides it's going to attack you because it didn't like that roll the 2 so it doesn't matter even you're gonna dodge that.

40:32 I'm untouchable. Sit and say how bad your armour class is and they haven't hit once. It's fucking infuriating it. Happens every fucking fight. The Prince is gonna attack advantage against this as it rolls away, but he failed his conceive and his turn, so he's actually doing a disadvantage. Yeah, he's a disadvantage who just rolls flat. He's gonna stab his Who's in the back? He was a fucking 920. Oh. Yes. A pairing from Invisible just comes out just above this boost stabs down double sixes. My Lord.

41:07 Mighty Swing. He kills it.

41:13 Oh my God. Everybody go, wait. Die. Yeah, and you just see as he comes through shorts stabbing straight down, this pile of shit explodes. Bell is.

41:35 Anime stuff. That fucking flabbergasted. Anime style As his sword goes through the hooves and stabs into the ground, cracks appear in the ground, a cloud of dust cloud. Of shit. Incredible. That was that was an opportunity, king. I've, in my invisible state, walked up behind Mel, joking. King. King. Shit King Dick. That is your turn. So you've got the one that's right in front of you. It's pretty fucked up. 3 standing near rib and bell and they're kind of like, they've kind of like formed a semicircle around rib and bell.

42:12 We've formed the line. This is the third round of this fire. Stop it. Serious, I mean. But I can do shatter again. You can do shatter again. Mama as well, right? I mean. You can target one or you can target 3. I'll target 3. Cool. So they will make concise. A. 6A10 and A-15 what's your spell safe? Is that on the sheet? That should be. 4 And that's not right, that. Can't be that, can't be right? What is this fail save A plus number? It doesn't make any sense. It's whatever beats it and then +4. Yeah, I. Don't know.

42:50 I didn't write those. That's not my handwriting. It's 14. We did them OK. Cool, so one of them passes, they're only 3D eights and one just takes half damage. 19. Big damage. 19. I've got 2 eights and a fucking girl, Whatever. The other one, Three, yeah. Sorry, that's. Fucking you do.

43:10 Guys, Alex has basically tickled my palm with her finger. I would say the one that failed is the one that had four hit points left so the mini 1 explodes. For that X feeling quite smug now. Yeah. It's because he hasn't taken the liquor damage. It's insane. So funny. I'm. Pretty sure without all that temperature repeat would. Have riffs been tense like 3 times that's kept her up? Anything else? Not if I can't like heal them then no. OK, cool. Right. That is the prince's turn. He's going to make his constitution save passes.

43:45 He's then going to attack. Yeah. The Prince turns on the who's that was that's in front of you that you've been fighting and stabs his sword or he doesn't. That's he. Trips over his sword. He's. Doing. So, well, he's doing so well, he fucked it. He got gas, OK? He got gas. It's fine. He'll rally. He'll rally. It's fine. It's his turn. Oh, OK.

44:13 Background to Bell, you're invisible. I am not in control of dragon breath. You are and you have to change the element. Well why don't you hold your action? Let me change it. You literally just have to wait for me to go. I changed the element. I'll attack normally this one, but I won't use the dragon breath. Roll Constitution Check. 9. That's a fail to roll at disadvantage. But I have advantage on. The advantage? Because you're invisible. Yeah, OK. I'll swing. I will swing with my Mason. Hope I hit.

44:44 I'm not perception check. On what? The rafters. Above us, OK. 2120. Yeah, what are you looking at? With all of the fighting, especially like with all like the the Thunder damage that River's been doing, are there any, are there any like so are there any beams in the rafters obviously because it's like a stable, right? Are there any beams that look like they are loose, and if so, are they comically positioned above our targets?

45:19 21, I'll roll, I will roll a luck check in front of everybody above an 18. I would say they're a rafter that you could knock down with the Jasmine.

45:35 Isn't that one? They are all. Surprisingly for a 200 year old building that's literally just been piled up with shit, you die down. Surprisingly, these these these living ships and what are you doing? Just in your ear again. They all are very damaged. Maybe the fire won't matter. I'm not giving them bonuses. Why would I ever want to willingly give my enemy a bonus they. Might just die. Going to attack with the flail that's 7. Seven hits. Seven hits because I have no AC Fucking happy days. And that's nine points of bludging damage on the whichever 1 looks like the weakest that's.

46:24 Supposed to me, the one that was originally attacking the potty plant, yes. Gets splashed. It's dead. Yeah, I'm king. That's the other one's turn. It is going to attack Bell because River's still invisible.

46:45 You can't do that. No, I'm just invisible. I'm the only one invisible. Now it's worked out quite well. Oh, it's a 19 to hit Bell 12 damage. OK so that's my 6th temple. See this thing just you turned your back on it to smush the other one and as you do so it slaps you on the back with a shitty super disgusting rib. You are up. There is one near you and Bell, and there is one over by the Prince and Nick. Who's up What I think will be the last time to chaos this.

47:18 Yeah. We have to read up on this because this is not right. It's just just one last episode where it's absolute fucking carnage because of it. Go. Ahead. Oh, sorry, what? Are you doing one last chromatic orb? That's an 18 to 20 something that is 8 damage and then it bounces. To another one. OK, so 8 damage on the first one, Yeah, you compare, there's a ball of Thunder at this area. You see, You see this like invisible ball of sound energy, like impact on this giant, and it kind of like craters and then bounces off towards the one standing by Ick and the Prince.

47:59 Not 20, I'm just going to try. Quite well today.

48:08 So that is 28 damage. It hits the first one, you see a crater and then it just like pigs out across the stable just you can almost hear the air boiling in front of it as it smacks into the last one and it doesn't didn't stop, it just goes through. It's just a hole in the middle of the shitty use and it just goes into the ground. There's one left, right? Goes. OK, I'm just going to do my. That's chaos. That's 50. Creatures have disadvantage on saving for it against the next spell you cast in the next minute, there's a saving for it.

48:46 Last hour there's only. One left. Anything else? That was an action, right? Yeah, I don't think I've got anything. Bonus action, Eh? I just like am I still invisible? No, you came out of invisibility. OK, I'm just going to like when. You attack. Bonus action Chill out, it's. Actually chill. I get night light to bring me my weed.

49:18 I'll sit in a little bag. Night Lights 420 friendly.

49:23 Real chilly. Rib is fine.

49:28 Grassley, that's your turn. There's one they. Only have a tan before I do. They're all just they're, they're fucked up. There's one very fucked up by the shit in the middle of the stable. I'm going to stab it with my dagger 20.

49:47 Runs in knee slides stab up into the oozes cedar pod. So it's 2D for us. What is that?

49:59 It's the name of the Tavern that it's gonna open for all. The viewers at home it is a sword going through a. Great. Penis. I might. Just go through a fucking like a flattered penis. I was going to say flappy or soggy and I was looking for flaccid and I could only get I don't look for flaccid. I rolled 7.

50:22 I'm sorry, Dad should. You listen to this in the car with him. Hi Dad, I'm sorry, yes, I can see the look of horror and disgust on your face in my fucking rearview mirror. We should start just bleeping stuff. It would be horrific. It'd be like more, more code every episode. It's. Like the early seasons of South Park. So. So you're old. You're old. 7 damage, Yeah. Plus one. Yeah. So 8 damage. Yeah, it's dead.

50:54 See you next time. Bye.

50:58 I don't know how long you so far. So far it is. Not like to do a lap. Yeah, very true, Lap. Everyone take a puff. Holy shit, guys. Holy shit, guys. I think we've lost that. You how long? Have we been recording? On that 20. Three, we have. We, we, we. Yeah, yes. How long have we been recording? Yes, just under 2 hours. I just wanted to clarify, I also like that you didn't fist bump me because we're siblings, but you don't. That's when he. Finished the fucking OH. God, he hit me. I love how this episode is the perfect fucking anagram for Constipation.

51:40 It took so fucking long for six little Nuggets. When The Cave was huge, 20s all over the place. Worst part? They nearly killed Roof. That's how bad the conservation can get. It's. Probably the hardest fight. We may just think differently because for me, the worst part of the amount of people that have walked past this garage rodsmith and shouting about fighting poos that's. What we live for anyway. Did you want to finish pushing the shit out of the thing first or shall I just? End it. I think we should end it there and deal with the aftermath, yeah.

52:14 OK, that's what We'll end the session. Fucking hell. Jesus. Christ I love the idea that the ending the end of this episode is a slot covered in shit like.

52:29 I. Can't wait. To draw that image to put on. A T-shirt. My. God, next round of merch it's literally going to be bees. That and no, there was something else really, really funny that would have been so good on a T-shirt and I can't remember what it was. I mean there's you guys pretend to be heroes. I ick fucking rassley. I want that on a T-shirt. And like Superman post. Yeah, I'm thinking sort of a sort of a green, sort of a minty green T-shirt with a pink silhouette of Ick Rassley. Yes. Pointing into the phrase.

53:06 Fucking Rick Astley. Yeah, it's Grassley. It's taking wrestling. It you pretend to be a hero, I'm ick fucking wrestling. Yeah, I know my character, you know, Intrabruit for for the man and the myth for legend the. Famous Scottish bagpipe giant. You better clean those bagpipes out before you do anything. I kept, well, no, I had nothing. Nothing. I didn't come into contact with anything. Fucking unscathed, untouched Wallace victory MVP. I wasn't in the bomb. Nothing attacked me. Those have been attacked you.

53:40 Nothing.

53:43 As a class supposed to be nowhere near a fight, I was what? You guys, but. In fact, yeah, I was already in there so but like. Everyone went and praised the Prince and I feel like it's just standing there like the fuck? Yeah, because yeah, but it wrecks. Shit. And then the dealt the final blows, Yeah. And also it hits a lot of the time Prince doesn't. That's the Prince never hit what he does. Yeah. And Nat 20 and then 22 sixes on the D6 fell. Incredible, like Bell and Riv have like an investment in how well the Prince doesn't come back because he's learning from us.

54:19 You need to write a song. About my awesomeness in this fight. I will for next episode. Oh fuck yes, we'll have that though. We'll have the session there. Thank you for listening to that us fight some shit. The recording so far is an hour and 55 minutes. We'll be able to cut that down. So far is an hour and 55 minutes. Probably be able to cut that down because the problem is if I take out all of the stuff, it isn't actually D&D. It's going to be for 15 minutes, so it's going to be a Torque. And then you take.

54:52 Out all the farts and that's another 10 minutes. That's a lot of birthing and farting. Well I made a very chilly garlic heavy spaghetti boloaise nice for me and roof and then all ate out of date pizza so. Sorry, what? It was reduced. My pizza not out of date. Yeah, Matthew had spice. I had cheese do. You know what it? Tasted good, I did. We're appreciative of the pizza. So. Yeah, we didn't have to pay for it. And we? Didn't have to Asda. Shout out to Ruth she. Cooked it. It's Ruth. We bought them unannounced.

55:26 They were 40P. Anyway, thank you everybody for this name. Bye bye. This is why I'm in charge like rate subscribe. Comment. Comment Look us up on Instagram. Share. 6 or 9 D and DI believe. Yeah, we don't have any posts but. But you can still. Follow us to make us feel loved, yeah. DM us. You guys need to make some. Send the fans. You need to make some posts and. Everyone else needs to. Yeah, send us some fan art. That's probably how Instagram works, right? Just send people photos. We have a new logo.

56:07 Oh yeah, yeah. So probably. You haven't put it on anything yet, but. We have any Lego? Oh yeah, because I'm released in this show. Probably be the first post. Group chat, yeah. What the group chat logo, are we changing it in there or just maybe we can leave the picture that we've made on there and that, Yeah. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see. Anyway, Yeah. So look out for that and tell us what you think, I guess. And still no cherry thing. So buy me stuff, send me money, buy me beer. We need microphones.

56:44 No, we need beer. It's fucking hot. Bye. Bye. They stopped me pooping myself. Zero fuck ups. Popping pills down the fucking corner? Here we fucking go. Hello and welcome back to is that a six or a nine podcast? What's? Happening. Andrew Shaman. Is coming I've. Armoured in the building the. Fucking company behind toilets. Oh God. It's a very shit centric episode today, folks. Yeah, you. Fall asleep in enough. Remember the first name you see when you wake up each time. How many? Piles of shit, all that.

57:36 6/6. 6. Pounds. How many shifts did I give? How many are there? How many are there? 30. 636 last year, Last year I have 37. Right. Anyway you. Do that. Whatever it is we're fighting, I'm increasing it to 37. That's Harry Potter. Yeah, I know everything you fight. Every single time. Every time you fight something. Put your kids sets me in the car. I'm not allowed to like Harry Potter because the lady that wrote it is a bad lady I have. Written. Would you like to know what I wrote in my notes? Yeah.

58:16 OK. I've written Finch and Steel.

58:21 Why Chicken Jockey? Yeah, Minecraft on. The Oh yeah, it's good. Someone's seen the Minecraft movie today. Written a poem about. What was your initiative? I've written a poem about our journey from last session. Doesn't go it. Goes filled with shit. I'm in it. Oh no, big baby Bell with his big wolf bullshit.

59:03 My God. Vibrating poo. It's. Like a weird ass haiku. I'm going to say we should check it because I think that might qualify as a haiku. 737. I am the pandameter, right? Don't. Worry I'll do that for every catch up now. Slow concern doesn't translate well, I assure you. That was a slow.

59:35 Maverick to poo Magoo. And I just think that that's quite a good name for this episode, right? It won't make any sense on this. Like you leave that in and I'm not going to say.