Panatheon 39: Satyr Assault

What is that? What was that? Oh, OK, cool. But he's. Got Maverick excited about it now. Oh my God. Idiot.

Did I tell you all about my amazing fuck up the other day? I was recording one of the episodes, I think the one where you went horse racing and you went and planted wine and out of your shirt, by the way. Just really start. It's courage to cowardly. Dog, it is courage to cowardly dog. Yeah, I don't know what was happening. I, I edited it, rendered it, and then went back to the start to like listen through and it was just like Jargoned and basically every cut that I've made it had like moved them all into like the first space.

You sent that to me so. Like an hour long recording suddenly became like a 22nd recording because every single edit block was just overlaid it over itself. That's ten. I couldn't undo it so I had to re fortunate. So what I did after the last time when I fucked it up and deleted the whole thing is as soon as it's saved I save it as a second copy. But I just had to re edit the whole fucking thing. Yeah, because you sent that to me and you were like at like 2:00. In the morning and you were like I fucked.

Up. I was so angry. I was like, no, I was like, right, good job done. I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I'm sure I'll be. Fine. Just ask Jeff and I. That's terrifying.

It was. Hard to listen to. We need to get a hard drive to back up all the original. I have one. Oh yeah, to put all the original stuff on so that we're not. There's a fucking ball, like anything. Yeah, put. The losses on so I can see what's happening. Anyway, hello and welcome to his out of 6/4/09. You know, with the D&D podcast made by Idiots. My name is Michael and I'm joined by Carl Nicholson. I'm playing Belsophilus. Murray Nicholson. I'm playing IK wrestling. And Alex? Stefanoff, Agus. God, I was going to say it, but I don't actually know what.

Samson. No. Shit. Close note Sherman. Sherman. That's it. Yeah, that's the one. First time. The days are you getting free dice at Long gone. Yeah, I'm running out of dice. We have a new mascot today as well. Yes, we are. I'm. Playing Riff, by the way. Oh yeah, nobody cares the. Important thing is you're here no care what you're doing. It's honestly. She was like, I'm going to be like really on it and we're going to like just bash them out. She was like, it's me that's going to fuck it. Up. I didn't.

I just reminded you who I was being well. Thanks for that. How are we all doing? Good. I feel like we should apologise in advance for any chewing sounds. We've given the dog a cow's ear specifically so that he's not barking and climbing all over things, but it's. Going to be hard to edit. The crackling it's. Fine, yes. So once it's something on fire. Matchstick has his candles. Riv casting here, what do you? Mean matchstick isn't. He, I mean, that is matchstick, whatever. The other one night light night light, night light night light is chewing a candle.

Oh. Fuck yeah. Matchstick. Once he's just eaten it, he should sell. We don't need to preamble this one. I suppose there's nothing really to talk about what's happening in the world. There might be a few gaps in episode releases because we don't know how much we can pre record and. Also because I forgot to put one on the Internet this week. You forgot. To upload one and then I'm going to be out of action for about 6 weeks. Yes, we'll try and bulk record a bunch of stuff. Yeah. What else? Oh, Ipswich have become a Nazi football team, have you seen that?

No. Ipswich Town Football Club had Nigel Fry's come around and do a tour. No and a a I'm not charging amount of the fan base is quite angry about it, but there are obviously a few fat white men with red faces walking around going oh I don't show you what if Bramble is, but most people are like what the fuck guys? I feel like I'm not shocked. That press officer I think is in a lot of trouble. That's fun. Oh, Pam Bondi just got. Sacked. I know, I saw. That actually one of the first piece of warning Alex today was.

Fuck you Pam Bondi got sacked. Yes, it's a good one. In South Park, there's a new series, The Blonde Woman. Yeah, probably she's the was the attorney general. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they mocked her. And yeah, sacked before a fucking bank holiday weekend or whatever.

He's like, the fact that Starmer turned around and was like, do you know what, though? If you leave me, oh, just, I'll go back to the EU. I was like, I think. The EU would necessarily have us. I know I did look. We have Bert quite a long bridges. Yeah, I don't I, yeah, I think it's about getting closer to the EU rather than rejoining it. Well, we spent billions leaving it for yeah, we weren't a good reason. So. But this isn't a political podcast. This is AD and D podcast. Yes. So last time so. Let's talk about my thinly veiled satire.

Last time in Panatheon, you guys were roaming around the forests on your way to find the village of Olympia. Along the way you found a shambling mound across your park. That's the sound of a shambling mound. A shambling mound across your Perth and you initially tried to walk around it before just deciding to fight it Riv choosing to use an electric bolt attack which actually healed it I. Forgot about this that whole thing. But eventually you're able to deal with it. I used like my biggest attack on it.

I was like. OK, and then as you were doing it, I was like, why does the Shambling mound regain health from electricity? What the fuck is that? Just like real trees. Anyway, eventually you found the little village of Olympia, ramshackle collection of wooden huts on the cross section of a road in the woods. You worked out that most of the people were hiding in the Tavern after they saw you coming. You explained to them that despite the fact you had Felicia Creetora, they say to her with you, you weren't in fact members of the cult from the temple up the road.

You were here to deal with the members of the cult from the temple up the road. They told you that every night creatures appeared from the dark and tried to kidnap people in the village. You came up with a very convoluted plan to attack them in a cross section on the road. As night fell, 2 giant goat creatures with bronze legs emerged hunting and you prepared your attack. And that is where we are. There's also. 3. Satan, there are also three. I can remember if I'd said that, but as you know there are also three Satan's.

If I take a bunch of people into the pub to entertain them, yes. So. Yeah, IK is in the pub, yeah. You I'm on the right side. Yeah, we're like flanking. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I wrote a map. I haven't labelled who's who. I was one side you or another. Yeah, we've got. So Chev was the bait. Sorry. Is that your map? I can't write and I can't draw them back. That's what whenever anyone has nerves tools, that's. What it looks like that's what RIM has gotten you here using. Yeah, OK. I'm like and it's just lines.

What? Direction's north? Right from where I'm facing, yeah. And sometimes I like, I like use a little compass and. You said that way, you didn't even point in stereo. Ground. It's the worst way. When I'm in the car of Alex and I'm like, do I go left or right? And she's like that way. Yes, Oh, in the corner. Shiv is in the middle of the road acting as prey. I think we had. Bell and Rhode Island were basically hiding behind the corners of buildings preparing to attack whoever attacked her. Ick was in the pub sort of near the end of the road, and Fellatia was in a building across from Ick getting ready to basically catch everyone in a kill zone.

So yeah, that is where we are now. So they're these creatures. The satyrs are like on the roofs of the buildings. They're clearly trying to like sneak, although you've already spotted them. Whereas these two massive goats, one's got a bronze leg on the front, the other's got a bronze leg on the back, and they're just sort of making their way towards. Downtown ship. Has it been another day since we travelled or is it done the same night? It's the same night. Fuck. So whatever you used when you fought the Shambling mound, yeah.

Do you not have heat metal?

No. No. Do you? No. Wish I did. I was going to look at swapping around some spells but I never did it so here we are. But we don't know what I do have. Chromatic or. OK, yeah, we've got mate hat we've. Got mate hand. Do you have the spell slots for fireball? Yeah, start off the round do. You want me to just go for it? Yeah, because otherwise you won't get a second chance because I'll be in melee. Do you want me to do the satyrs or do you want me to do big goat boys? Say, is it kind of spread out?

OK. So you got a couple on the roof opposite Ick and one on the roof kind of directly? Above OK if you like. Do we? Are we are we hidden? Yes. Do we get our surprise round? Yeah, I'll say if you attack straight away, then yes, I'll say you can do it, OK. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait for me, wait for me. Hold on, can I see the satyrs approaching X? The approaching this album.

Yes, yeah. I'll say I can't remember exactly what we rolled, but I think you already knew everything was there. So you can see, I think the way you guys are set up, you are essentially across the road and further up from where the Tavern is. All right, going to Ross, still check to see if I can't get up on the roof and like trial behind them. Yeah. Or cut them off because I think I'm. So you're across the road from them, so there's one on the top of the building, sort of on your side of the street.

OK. And did we discuss keeping one of them alive? Or did we we? Just don't necessarily need to because. We've got the goat.

Sorry come can never remember fucking. Glacier does the pleasure saying. Yeah, she's, she's, she's kind of given us all the like information we need. Plus she's our in to the temple. Yeah. OK, so you're going to try and get on the. Roof 21 on Stealth. Yep, that's pretty good. Yeah. So you're climbing up onto the roof. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on the right side of the road. So you're across the road from the ones above the Tavern, but there's one on the building on top of the buildings across from the Tavern as well.

Oh, OK. All right, OK, yeah, All right. If you want to launch your fireball now, then I'll engage with the one on my roof and then I'll leap over to the 2 on your on your side. OK, so it's a 20 foot radius? Yeah, 100. And 20 feet, so I'm getting them both. I will let them. I'll make them do that. A disadvantage because they don't know it's there. I think it annoys me sometimes that you don't get that kind of thing on a spell that's not in the rules. But I feel like if someone jumps out and fires a fireball like you, you're not necessarily ready for it.

So first one fails. Fails. Gorgeous what? Was your safe? 13. Yeah, Hey, what's that? And the second one, is that 6 or 9? A. Name they fail. OK, they both fail, so fuck them up. So that is. And then everybody roll initiative. 8D6. That's advantage. Including me even though I'm in the pub. Are you joining in with the fight? I'm in the pub regarding all the innocent people. I would roll in the ship. 17. 20. That's 651016171819202122232425262728293021 21 Thank you. 32333434 damage each. God damn and then roll initiative advantage.

Could you surprise them? 18. Big you're up. Well, so you're like kind of in the Tavern, like hushing everyone down because you know what's going on and you can hear the creaking on the roof above you of these sites, which you don't necessarily know are there. And then you just see through the windows this like orange glow coming down the street. And then at least you hear the goats in the street go. Everything's fine. I feel like I instruct the people to hide under tables and and and take cover because I see the fireball coming.

Yeah, but you, you can still, you can leave the building an attack or you can, you can do whatever you want really. I'm gonna stay and help like look after the innocent people in the tablet because it sounds like these still gonna just fuck up everything outside and I don't want anyone to get hurt but I could I guess give them my bardic. Go to the window and like lookout so you can get us so. Do you guys need bardic? Always need. Bardic's are always handy. So I could give my bardic to them? Can I only do one person?

Do 1 per round. So if I give my bardic to Riv, as long as Riv helped Bell, Yeah. Yeah. Because you have Fireball and he doesn't. Yeah, yeah, no, it's I can on attack rolls and stuff, I can give you a 1D4 to. Barbarian God damn it, I don't need fireball. Okay so I'll give my bardic to Rev and that will be my turn. Cool, I do have a question. Yep. These the sighters? Yep, the humanoid I.

Think technically no, but I'll say yes. What do you class as humanoid then? They have two legs, 2 arms, human faces and human bodies. They're four legs, actually. They're just a medium Fay. That's a sort, that's a centre. Yeah, yeah, they're a medium Fay, which I think means they're no longer humanoid. But what? I'm good. That's not they're humanoid. I gave you this call. Actually, that hasn't been useful for the first time in the entire campaign. No, you've stopped fighting people. My mistake was I was thinking Harry Potter and I should have been thinking Hercules.

Yeah, Phil. You're thinking of Phil. Phil Yeah. That's what Fellatia looks like.

Until that sucks, I'm sure. She look Fellatia looks like Phil from Hercules, but she's wearing Ariel's clam shell boob top thing from The Little Mermaid. And she doesn't have the beard. Well. She's quite a beard anyway. Yes. OK, you could attack the satyrs it. Oh, you've done your toe. OK, Riv, it's actually your turn again. Fabulous. Just want to say that with my hormones, I'm in no way shaming a woman for having a beard. These goats got fucked up. How fucked up. Fairly. They're also quite big.

Yeah, like they're like elk sized, these goats. They're huge. OK, where are they? They're like just stood next to each other in a bit of the street at the. Moment I'll hit the one on the left. Smoking. I'll hit the one on the left with which bolt? So yeah, a wild magic so I can get advantage on the hit. 17 just hits. Just thank God. OK so then I do 2D12 lighting damage. Take that 17, 76. You terrible up to 60 feet to an unoccupied space you can see. I'm going to go. Behind them. Nice. How? Why am I here you?

Don't want to give away that you've gone behind this idea. No, I'm going to go before I do it. Oh no, I don't really know what's happening, so I just go. Which bolt? Anything else I'll. Do that? Nope, I'm good. Thank you. No, we're. Up I charge the SATA on the roof. You, you're all 21 on stuff, didn't you? Yes. Notices you. Nope. She. Didn't notice you barbarian, you're pretty loud. Barbarian fighter. And yet I've got a pussy and fucking Dexterity that's. So funny these satyrs are stupid.

Dumb fucking goat man. Yeah. Stupid. Yeah, that's 22233 to hit. 17 including my strength model. Cool. Yeah, This guy is like, you can see him like leaning on the edge of the roof of this building, kind of like peering over, clearly looking into the Tavern window. And then you just see it like wide eyed as you jump out of the shadows. What's going on do? You have a second attack. I do have a second attack. Yeah, cool. I'm switching to dice just while I get myself loaded. Rolling the damage at the same time as the hit.

Yeah, very cocky. Thank fuck for that because it was a 19. Fine, OK, murder. Let's go, man. That was that was considerably a lot weaker. 12 So nearly dead.

So nearly dead. That is, the status turns the one that you just attacked is going to. Wait, Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Fuck you. Wait. Fair enough. That's. Rude. That's fucking rude. I have something for this. Wait so much attacker? I can re roll damage but I can re roll? Once and do I want to do Yeah re roll that too.

OK, yeah, he's dead. Yeah, OK. The ones. The ones across the street from you. Stupid goat. No offence. Felicity. What's the name Felicia? Felicity Fellatia. Felicia, sorry. Yeah, the two across the street from Bell are going to use their mockery make a Make 2 Wisdom saving froze. No.

As they point and laugh at you. He was the weakest buggers. That was nothing. OK. First one was 10. It's. The failure. The Sigma wasn't not 20. How much? How much the 10:00 to? Oh. Ben luck. Wait, it depends. How much does it need to get it? I'm going to. Tell you that. You can't. It's not your turn. Do you haven't cast? Yeah. But I can bend. I can bend luck. I can give it to you. More damage. Fine. OK, You can take it. Yeah. No, that's fine. Felicia is going to cast because it's Felicia's turn now.

Felicia steps out of the dark. Yes, it is. Yes, and. She is going to cast Entangled Sick on the SATA ladies. One gets a net, 21 gets a 5. We'll say the one that you fucked up with your witches bolt is the one that's tangled up. Oh, the goats. The goat, Yeah. Oh, OK, yes. So she steps out of the shadows, makes vines go out of the ground. They wrap around this one that's got a lightning bolt on it. Yeah. She thumbs up who's suddenly standing next to her.

I don't know how I did. That that is the impuser's turns. The one that is stuck is stuck. You can't move, Make a strike, saving the end of a turn, let's fail. The other one is going to move towards, I guess, riff. Come on, big boy. He's going to try and kick you. OK, get. Your wet here. That's what was that 13 to hit. Doesn't hit. I'm 14. OK, so she tries to kick you. It doesn't work. And then she like, raises her hand and she's got vicious fucking claws and she swipes at you.

That's good to hear. By how much? Quite a bit. That's 16 + 824.

I guess. I think what you meant to say, Alex. Was out, just hit it. Was sassy with me. 11 damage. Oh, she hasn't. Come on, Shev. She's the bait. She doesn't get a tonne, she does. She just stands there, flailing and panicking. She's just at the end of the order. To be fair, this is the first time our bait has actually needed to have a tonne all of the other tones. The Prince all. The other times they just get kidnapped. Using using the Prince's fish bait, not Fishman bait. Oh. Yeah, so much fun.

She's going to cast Ice knife at the one that just attacked you. That's my sister. Misses. Misses a table.

Shiv. Sorry, I'm actually really weak apparently. And the impuser makes a dexterity saving for her, which it fails, so it takes 9 damage.

Nice, sorry Rev I think I missed. No, you smashed it, babe. Thanks, eight, you're up. Well, is there anything I can actually do if I'm hiding in here with all these people? You could go stop hiding. Protecting you could. Protect from the doorway. You know you can. You can barricade.

Then you can't get in. Put some tables up. Yeah, and you couldn't get in. You can throw some ale out of the window and create like pyro traps. It's. Fun. How much alcohol is in the weakest ale in this village of shadow fucking nowhere? How many people are left outside like? The two giant goats are out there. They're like one of them is like covered in vines and it's like in the middle of the street. The other one has is kind of standing directly in front of you because it's come to attack rib and Flacia.

Ah, you sleep. OK, it does something it. Goes to sleep. I can tell you the page it's on. Makes the wisdom save. It's 4. Fails. It goes to sleep. OK. It becomes incapacitated until the end of its next turn, at which point it must repeat the save. Cool, that's. My game so she falls asleep. A little shock. I literally poke my head out the window. Go sleep. Yeah, she swipes a rib, then a ice knife hits her in the back, knocks her over, and then she just passes out in the street. Is there only one goat man left?

No, they're both. No, there's two. There's two. Goat Man. Across I've got the goat, man, you wore 1. 'S in vines and one's asleep. Yeah, that's your turn, Rib. You're up. Sick.

Well, I get another D12 on the guy I've already. Yeah. Which bolted. Yeah. Oh, did you make? Oh, I didn't concentration check. So that one. So I don't have that anymore. Oh no. Do you know what I'm going to do that? Will last. I'm going to cast which bolt at level 2 because I can, and I'm going to do it to the one that's entangled. Yep. So 15, yeah. Classical. 15 damage. Cool and. Then wild magic. 83. You radiate bright light in a 30 foot radius for the next minute. Any grease that ends its turn within 5 feet of you has the blinded condition until the end of its next.

Turn. You're asleep. I'm blind, bit blind and. Asleep. Jesus its eyes to get blinded. I guess so. I rise off the floor so. It fell asleep with its eyes open. Cool Bell, you're up. There's one asleep in the middle of the street, there's one that's entangled in the middle of the street, and then there's two Sayers on the roof opposite who haven't been hurt. How? What's the distance between the rooftops? That 30 foot so you can throw a javelin probably What? Are you thinking of jumping? I was actually, yeah, I. Don't think you could jump here.

Not many people can jump a street. Wait, you don't have a thing that could? Let her cook. Now let her cook. There's no way. Damn. It I could, I could have cast haste on you, which would have given you more movement. Movement which would have got you across. I didn't. So sorry, could have didn't. Yeah, I could throw Javelin. Yet.

See, my Max speed is 30 feet and if I jump from the roof like that's like it's like. Half. So don't you have like 15? I think you can take like, yeah, 15 foot, you can climb down the building. It's not like a massive like skyscraper or anything. It's a story high, so. I was thinking you're like. A little mediaeval client. If I if I run and jump off the roof then when I land I can expend A superiority die lunch. Oh, yeah. And then you can dash. Yeah. Up the building again. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Yeah, I don't know it.

Or will I? Yeah, I don't know it.

My am I falling like athletic so I. Can Nah, just fucking. I'll let you right across the street. You like jump down off of the roof and then like as soon as you land you do like there's all like a parkour forward roll and then spring up halfway at the building. Again, I'm my lunch. My lunch granted me seven extra feet. Yeah, I'll do 7 feet. Insane. That you can't. That's not how you lunge. That's crazy. That is exactly how you lunge. Yes, it's one. No, I'm not. No, I mean in, I mean in reality. That is exactly how you lunge.

Lunge the length of dolphin. Oh, I can attack one of the other government. Yeah, you can probably cleave, can't you? I do have cleave, yes. The axe gives me cleave. All right. Roll to Attack the Sup Bitches 1718192021220. No, yes, that obviously hits.

How does cleave work? So once you hit the first one, you can then attack again essentially. 21. Oh what the fuck? Who was the strongest of you again? Him. He points to the other guy. So make your cleave attack.

My axe is fucking thirsty. Oh so close, so fucking close, 19. Yeah. So with this one, you do the dice damage, you don't attack your strength modifier. Oh, OK. And. Then we said at but it sounds like you said X and it still wouldn't be wrong. 17 points of damage. To the other guy, Oh my God, L38 damage with one swing of an axe and then you have a second attack, don't you? Yes, I do.

Oh. My God. Oh no. It's a bad day for you. Yep, dog. Sure, I'll accept. I'll accept your apologies now I'm. Sorry, don't apologise. 1313 up hits, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was a little bit low and I was like, oh, I don't know, 16? Cool, which one are you doing it to? The first one or the strongest one? Which one of you called me a bitch? They point at each other.

We'll get to you later. I I take the head of the one on the left. Go. He's Yeah, You take his head. God damn it, stop collecting head. It's even got horns that you can just tie a rope around easy. Going to make a belt. Going to make a belt on the skulls of my enemies. God damn it. Good Lord, that is the safest turn. He is going to, I guess, hoove you and he's going to hoove you off the building.

Wow. Anyway. Oh. My God. That 20. Oh dear, you're getting hooved, mate. Five damage from the hoof and then if the target is you don't even make a save, you just get pushed 10 foot back. So you get thrown off of this roof. Make a Dexterity save as you get thrown into the street. Yeah, make a Dexterity save to see if you land on your back or your feet.

Damn, it's going. To be worse. Yeah, you're going to crush Yeah, gracefully, or you take hurt. 10. That's rough, man. That's not very good, is it? So you take six points of damage as you land on your fucking back, Yeah. Oh RIP just goes. Yeah, fucker shift and fellatio are like oh. I'm fine. That's fallacious. Turn so many pages. Christ, she's going to cast Moonbeam. That's concentration though, wasn't it? Sorry. She's going to do a verdant whip. She's going to attack the one. Yeah, she's going to do 2 verdant whips, actually, the one that's entangled.

So that's advantage because it's entangled. The first one hits 43D6. God damn. Pretty good. Holy shit she doesn't like this. Damn. God damn Fellatia. That's 17 damage. Shit. All back. That was hot. Yeah, that.

Was her first attack on that? That one was tied up. Good attack again. Shut the fuck up. Oh. My God, Fellatia's a badass 20. Damn. God damn she kills that one. Riv blushes. See that just like ball of nature energy I've. Never seen anyone handle magic so well. Averted whip. She vine whips it Ivy sauce style. That's her turn. That is the infusers confuser. There's just one left right and it needs to make a wisdom save as a four. It's asleep.

Incredible. Go ick, you're up, I feel. Like I don't need to do. Anything. Yeah, the infuser in the street is asleep. He's all the stuff. Right. No, there's one on the roof, one satyr on the roof. That's very fucked up if. I leave it there, won't be able to finish off. That. Yeah, it's directly above you. Cool. Yeah, it carries on protecting the villagers bravely from inside a building. You're. Just playing bombing at this point, aren't you really? I'm like pulling little sticky out tongue faces at the kids and stuff.

The one that's sleeping. Yeah, you're going to kill it. Going to try. That's it. OK. Did you fucking no, I'm just. I I get advantage on the here anyway. Yeah, you do. Yeah. Still misses. Yeah. Things impossible. How's it looking? Tired. Damaged. Yeah, it, yeah, it's had some damage. It's not it's, yeah, it's still got a way to go, probably. Great, I don't know, so I'm going to just use my last. Ring level. Not rolling perception or medicine or anything, you know, not trying to gain some fucking actual insight.

Use your action to see how it's feeling. Check its temperature I'm. Just going to fireball it cool, just really concentrate or it's 20 foot. Will it hit the one on the roof? We hit the building, Yeah, we hit the building if. What happens if I move back 30 feet and? They should stood there. Fuck the distance. She's probably blind now. Do you? Know what? So you ruined it. You ruined it all. I'm quite surprised that. Talking about Felicia, I mean, you were really cool, but get out the fucking way. I'm quite surprised I just did like 40.

Damage in a fucking cantrip attack. Yeah, and I could have done more if I could have done fireball.

How was? Felicia unable to make the hit. Wasn't she already blind? No, she's blinded if she ends her turn next turn, so I'm gonna say she moves away. I will do chromatic orb at level. Sorry, debris, OK, probably. Be able to get rid of that three. 45-D8 damage. 5D-8. And let's do, let's do fire just because we've felt like we missed now. Established it. Hurts, yeah. Then make a range attacks though. Oh yeah. 5 OK 1520 yeah. Killed my monster 5D-8.

Actual dog shit 317. And there was 2 ones so you can hit the other guy. Oh.

It's always paying attention. I thought it meant you have to roll 281 bit of the D8. I'm just reading it wrong. I've got dyslexia. OK so I can hit him as well. Do I have to roll a hit roll? Whoa, does. It say yeah, so you roll to hit again. You all can't leap again unless the cast is spelled with a level +2 slot, which I did it a + 3 so it can technically. If it does it, If it does it again, yeah. So. This fucking plasma orb is just bouncing. Off the arena. So I'm can I, I'm going to use wild magic as well to just having some fun.

That's a 19. Oh, hit. Yeah, wonderful. So that's more of these. Oh look, 2D8. My God. I mean that state is. I know you bother counting there. He's fucking dead. Dead. Baby guy in front of battle explodes in a bowl of flame. It doesn't seem to originate from anywhere fabulous. So. I'm going to roll my pingles back to fucking. That's my girl. Of course it's mine. 79 for the Royal Royal Magic Royal Royal Royal will be cold wild. A random creature within 60 feet of you has the poisoned condition for 1D four hours.

You assumes the. Infuser. Yep, a 1D4. He's going to be dead anyway. Yeah. So then I can use wild magic again? No, I can't. No, you can't do it twice in one round. That's that's. Just whenever you do a thing, doesn't it? It says I can get it back when I cast a spell. Oh, once per turn. Yeah, fine, that's fine. Just he's down anyway. They're asleep. He's down anyway. So I get they wake up at the end of the turn, but. I'll say, oh, it's nearly not 20, but it's not. But it was still a 21st 1. Oh, 17.

17 Write that.

Down. OK, let's get some 5-10, 14 or 15. It was shit, but there we go. Cool, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. The level of the slot expended and the creature can be targeted only once. Oh no, I shouldn't have done that. Oh well, we're going to pretend it doesn't exist. Fair enough. Yeah. So you blow up, she gets hit by a ball of fire, which pings off of her and blows up the one in front of Bell. That's Bell's turn.

Do I have to roll? I'm prone, No, aren't I? Oh yeah, you're on the floor. He's not nice to you at all, but he's dead. That's the main thing. You can just get up. And this other impuser is now awake, but it is still on the floor. It's the only thing that's left now, is it? Near me. Yeah, you can go up to it. You use half your movement to stand up, but I'll say you landed close enough. I took your kill. You can take mine. You're. So generous. You're. Welcome, start dragging my axle on the dirt. And you do notice point this out, this goat, as it fell asleep, morphed like it changed shape and it became like a really tall SATA woman with a golden leg.

Her right leg appears to be made of this like brass, copper metal. And she's got huge claws and a great boob tube thing. Can we give you a picture? Because why not? When we kill her. She's got like glossy black hair but like golden skin. We're going to take the leg, put a pole in it and we'll use it as a weapon. Sick. It actually says here the legs and hooves of an impuser are extremely powerful and are Chieftain magically hardened copper, allowing her to deliver swift and powerful kicks and make move at great speed.

The copper can be harvested when the impuser is slayed enough and used in construction of magical boots and starves. Dope take the leg so. You've got hardened copper if you wanted to make something out there, but you've got to kill her first. She's asleep. She's awake now because you torched her Belle. Well, she's gone back to her more human, human, less beast. Blessed beast. Stay, I should say. Yeah. She's still a goat lady. Hit her on the head. Well, she is kind of hot so. Not lethal. Take that head.

Take that head. Yeah, I'm not going to attack. You mean you're not going to attack? With him put the axe away and I kneel down. It's. Got a crush on her? Why are you raging still?

I mean the the fool knocked me out of it. Calm me down. The red mist has gone.

Val, what are you doing? You attacking. Whatever that was not attacking. Are you wonder? Are you still under Cirrus's control? Stop poking you in the in the side of the head with like the butt of my axe. Yes, obviously. I was hoping that that wasn't going to be the case. You changed it doesn't look right. It's not the same. I I'm I'm a magical creature. I could do that. It's just the thing I do. Oh, that's a shame, isn't? It I think it's pretty cool. It sucks. Oh God. Oh, you were all advantage because she's lying down.

That was less. That was 12. I I'll give you a Ben lock AD 4 to the 13 one. Then they can have bardic inspiration. I gave Alex my bardic, Yeah, she didn't use it. I didn't need it, although I could have given it to Bell then. It's fine, I thought I could have needed it. I asked her 13141517. Just hints, yeah. That's a fucking shame. Still, you have a cute head. It will come a new. Spell cuts off and puts it in his bag with a slab of meat that he's carved and salt two other heads. And her leg. Daddy.

Panky, 20. 212223 points of damage. Fucking hell are. You not dead. God. Second attack. Second attack, My God. God damn kill this bitch. Fucking hell, let's. I've heard of like, executions taking more than one swing before. I didn't ever think I'd see it. God damn. All right, that's 17. No hits. Yeah, it's. 20 points of damage. Twenty. There we go. Yeah, 20. Yeah, she's dead. Oh, thank God. Second second swing takes her head off. I come over and kick the side of her body. I'm not there, stupid. Go the abusers are just smouldering piles.

I got 2 heads. Bad guys are dead. I really think you need to chill it with the heads. You know you're going to look like a psychopath. He's been. Through a lot recently. Just like having heads, OK? These heads are just the beginning, I can hear. Him talking to them I. Know it becomes a bit weird for all of us. I'm going to learn maybe like a like a shielding spell around him so none of us have to hear it anymore. If you cast silence, we're going to be able to hear it. Yeah. Smart. I don't. Know what to make these into?

Going to make a belt. How do we feel about belts? Belts in. Yeah, belt. Yeah, belt. The belt man. Yes. Put up pancreas out his head from the from its jar and every time he comes back I'm going to build a throne out of his fucking skull. You could build a whole person of skulls and put it on a throne. No, that's no idea. I'll help. To hear about the Skull Throne. That sounds great. Great impression everyone it comes to see me. Berries, skulls for the skull guard. Make care of a mission check. Sometimes it's just better to go along with it.

Also, the ideas are quite fun to come up with. It's like craftings. Everyone's dead. Some people don't have heads. You've got a SATA head and impuser heads. Did you only get one SATA head? No, I did, yeah. Yeah, doesn't need them all, just one of each they're. Trying actually, just like Pokémon, right? You're in need. One of each, yeah. So I'm going to, I'm, what I'm going to do is I'm going to melt poker ties this skull down and then I'll be like the main centrepiece of the skull belt. And then every main, every main monster that I kill is going to be added to my belt.

OK, cool. Wait. I'm making a skull belt. I know I've got. A huge head. OK, but you're going to so you're going to melt them down first? I'm. Going to melt the skin off. Oh, I can help with that. Put them all on the ground.

I love how you instantaneously went from What the fuck is wrong with you too? Oh no, wait, I can help with this. Hold on. I'm like bell, bell, bell, put them all on the ground for a second, all right. And then I cast chromatic or but use acid. Let's get that white, that white bone. Tasted, you know, Yeah. OK, you melt my head the skin off of the best. Meeting. Do you know what that's a good? Word. I had an impusive skull. Cool. Wow, the anatomy is just really like fascinating, but. You know what?

I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of you, Bell. Proud of you. I need to find AI. Need to find a a morally ambiguous belt maker. Yep. It's very specific actually. Are. We let's go and tell it that they can come out. Real quick, are you actually burning the skin off of these skulls? OK. Are you doing it to all of them? Every major monster that we encounter, I will be collecting heads and making. It wait, maybe not.

If it's like a boss. Anxieties. Oh, because I feel like there's shit that's going to happen with dyed. I do like the idea of like saving it and then like building. Keep that one in a jar when it comes to add the other one and then we'll come. I just feel like, I feel like, you know, where you get like there's like story equipment and then there's like other equipment that's cool and you can keep, but it doesn't really matter, you know? Oh God, yeah. I feel like that's a story piece. Fine, so you have two skulls.

It's giving me solid fingers Hubert Cumberdale vibes. Getting weird. Go. You have two skulls. Yeah. You you let everyone out of the Tavern. Everything's safe now. Try to avoid the fires and vines in the icy puddle that she have made.

Yeah, Fellatia looks quite kind of concerned. She doesn't recognise the status that are on the Rose, but she's particularly troubled by the like, big goat changing ones. Is it the skulls are? These your. You know them well, I don't. I'm not sure I entirely recognise them, but they've been modified somehow. They didn't used to be able to do this. No, Someone who's given them this power.

I was. I just remember she's got a weird accent. Well, it was a druid. I can do shape changing and things. We never use it for this kind of thing. We mostly use our druidic powers to grow grapes for wine and things and I'm sure it's nothing. Big goats with golden legs? No. Are the golden legs normal? No, no, I've never seen that before. Fantastic. Oh, get the copper. Yeah, sorry. You can. You can remove their legs so. Someone get the copper. Is it just me? I just think it's really weird how it's just one leg.

Is it always the same leg? Nope, they have different legs. OK anyway. Anyway, temples that way boys down the road. But you're welcome to stay and have a long rest in the village. God. Please I have nothing left. Oh, OK. Well, I was going to do it right. Right for. Free, but as you're desperate, that'll be sorry. No, we can go as long. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, you can stay in the village, you can have a rest and you can head out in the morning. Bell Bell charges over to the other. Well, they is it Imperator?

Impusers. Impuser and I collect the head off that and I hand it to the Tavern master. Nail this on your wall. Make it a sign these things are no longer welcome in your village. OK. I worry we're making ourselves a target that way, OK? They send that best off to you and look what you did. You took that fucking heads and you've made them into an ornaments. Good point. OK, fine do. You have some beds. Yes, yes, dude, feel free to stay here. Thank you. You've done us a service. Hopefully no more will attack us at least tonight all.

Right. Yeah, you. Face first. Oh. Yeah, because you're tapped on the spells last night. Might. Yeah, fucking drained yeah, I need I need some back. It wasn't too bad. I had like level ones left but I. Think he's got everything? Yeah, well. It was protecting the villagers. I used to sleep which is a level 1 so. All right. And you took 15 damage time. Fair. Enough as far as like a barbarian goes, I'm considering that a big win. Anyway, you sleep eventually. Initially you could just hear the sound of someone hammering the skull of an infuser into the door frame above the entrance.

But yeah, you sleep, you get your ship back, and you head off into the forest on your way to the Temple of Shirez. Wonderful. Where's the horse? Where's ours? Pretty sure that's the place where you go to pick up your unicorns, yes?

Oh my God, that's where the Unicorn came from. Yes, they're native to Australia. Anyway, that's what we're in the episode we we had a break in the middle of that so we could all eat, see if we can figure out where and. Also because the dog. That also because we needed to walk the dog because it smells. Fuck me, man. I fixed it though. Yeah, he's all quiet and shit now, little fidgety. Anyway, it's. Because it's hot in here. Yeah, I'll. Crack a window for a minute. Thank you everybody for listening.

Like Race Subscribe Comment. Commissioner, Dice Bag. Commissioner dice bag from Maria I've. Actually managed to purchase some like initial merch things from sales from dice bags. So the dice bags are helping the podcast and I was thinking we'll do a giveaway on Instagram once the bits are here and we can work out what is good and what we'll just never, ever sell. And then we can run some sort of competition. OK, cool. Someone can win some free match. Hit Maria up on 609 D&D on Instagram. Your own Instagram is.

Nicholson Chronicles. Cool. We're on 609 D and d.podview.com is our website. Yeah. Other than that, send us an e-mail at 609-d&[email protected] or don't fuck you. Don't don't fuck you. I got off basically all my time. You know my work e-mail has already got 25,000 emails that I haven't read in it so you will not add to shit. I'm not looking at it. Sounds like a brag, but it's not. I had a second interview all lined up for the day before my surgery and they wouldn't move the date and I've had to cancel it because I have to do prep.

Prep for a job interview. No for my surgery. Well, yeah, if I got told that someone I was interviewing for a job was about to have major surgery, I would think that sounds like they're not going to be here for. A while they. Didn't care about that, they just kept. They said that literally didn't matter as long as I could come for an interview on the 8th and I was actually like I can do the 7th but no. Well, fuck you I guess. Yeah. Bye bye. He probably picked that up. To be honest, the amount you guys fart, yeah, I can't believe that there isn't like.

You can make this one. There's definitely one. Oh my God, fuck man. Stop feeding him ears for fuck's sake, he's obviously not good for him. I take it back like an incense stick. Shut up his ass. Yes, Matthew passed car. The lighter, it's up there. Fuck me. My God, it's violent. Jesus Christ. He's upset. Look at his face. We're shaming the fuck out. It's alright, baby.

Panatheon 39: Satyr Assault

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