Roll For Concentration: Unsolicited Opinions

Zoda 6. Or what is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Good, don't tell her I've started recording.

OK, well just so you can give me yet another bad edit, I won't match sentences together to make me look like an evil person. Yeah, you come here to try and impress me, and I do this so I can make you look bad on the Internet. Yeah. So welcome everyone. Yes, this is role for conference. What role for concentration, the slightly less formal version of what we normally do? But probably just as much firing. There's probably just as much of a fucking shit show. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, Alex isn't here today because she's got better things to do, so fuck her I guess. Damn man, knowing the reason why as well. She's such a strong player and I'm really sad that she's not here for us to just repeatedly say how good she is though, like she's been brilliant. We've just probably released the fight in the palace between Pancreatitis and you guys. So I guess firstly, how do we think that went? I didn't take any damage so I'm I'm fine. I know what. You never do. This is driving me fucking because like having like, I've been editing it this morning.

Yeah. And I actually go for you a few times and I still like, he rolls like a three and a four on the two attacks he takes against you. It's fucking infuriating. And yet like the episode before that or wherever where you fought the guys in the street, right, Two of them, like there was one guy who did like a good attack, but he only had like 15 armour class and like a little bit of health. The other two guys were completely like weeny, like Bell took one out instantly. And then you're all just fucking around.

Like Bell was just actively not getting involved to fuck with ribbon stuff. It was like for fuck's sake, like it's just so like how this is going to be how you die. And it was the same thing when you fought fucking like the knives. The knives was like, Oh my God, the the knives in the mansion were absolutely nothing. The bees if if no one had got, if no one had intervened, Riff would have died against the bees. You know who it is it. Means it's me, I say I have an idea, they say no, they end up nearly dying, then they do my idea, I take absolutely no damage in the process, and everything's hunky Dory.

Yeah, that that is quite funny. I that has, yeah. It's I don't know how that happened because I've no idea what I'm doing 99% of the time. I I think you're getting better in a fight, to be fair. I'm I've been trying. Like. Yeah, you've been not in your spot. I've been trying. You used because you used Vicious Mockery against pancreatitis and I let slip that he had a really good wisdom score because he rolled. I think he rolled something really shit. He had like a + 9 because he was using warrior commander stats.

So you used bestow curse to fuck of his wisdom. So then all because you looked at your sheet and all the spells you had needed him to do a wisdom save. So you give him disadvantage on wisdom saves. Great. You then just did like starry wisp, just like AD 8 or something damage and you wrote to hit and it's just like you're this close to figuring out how to play your character. It was good. For someone with like no experience in playing a Bard for the first time because the only experience I ever had was playing a Ranger.

In the dark. Was playing a Ranger playing a Ranger playing a Ranger. You can edit the best playing a Ranger and a Ranger but that was the inexperience they had and bards are so different the I've had to really. Yeah, so I think we said this before that you always go, you look at your sheet and go, I don't have any weapons. It's like you're not supposed to be using a. Weapon. I know I've got that. Now you're meant to go in like you're not even meant to go in, which is why you've started taking less damage because you stand at the back and do of your bug inspirations and stuff.

But like, it's good to have a backup where you just rolled a hit. But yeah, you are slowly starting to work that out and that's that's an improvement. Bell still doesn't know how to roll the hit with a sword. We were good. No, but when I fucking do hit. You wearing glasses? Yeah. How do we wear glasses? About a year. He needs them for playing video games and looking at screens and stuff. They have a .5 plus on magnification like it is like the the magnifier is so negligible it's nearly doesn't exist.

And I thought that was like a stats. Thing I can't see without my glasses but I need new ones so it's I'm in that weird limbo between like if I wear them too long to get a headache and if I don't wear them I can't see shit. So. Y'all are just funny. Now and he breaks them every week, so it's just a constant expenditure. I know he broke. Them on mine and I got really. Angry not many people have a weekly subscription to an optician, but we fucking do. Yeah, he, yeah, he broke them at hours. And I was not very impressed with them.

No, I was like, how did you break them? And it turns out he broke them jumping on the bed. Oh, it's livid. Yeah, and I'm like, I can't yell at him because he doesn't understand and then he's just going to cry and then I will never get him to bed. We were sitting in the dining room or the kitchen. Dining room have you upgraded? Yeah, sitting in the kitchen, Sam came through and he kicked the like, floorboard bit like in the doorway. Oh ow, that. Fucking sucks. Stuffy toe. He was like, he was. He wasn't quite crying.

He was like eyes fully watering. Yeah, He'd stubbed his foot. Yeah. He was like, oh, that. That looks really painful, but like, just breathe it out, mate. You're like. Stand on it roof. Was like, well you get tell you what you get one swear. Hey man, what? Here's your pass. Yeah. And I was like, OK, yeah, you get one word, but you have to make it a good one. There's loads of good ones. Think about it. And you could see him, like starting to crack up, like just thinking about this word. He was going to say.

I was like, oh, is it going to be, is it always going to be a good one? He was just like, he was like, he thought, well, he was like, Yep. I was like, go ahead. That's my boy.

It's one of those that when you stub your toe, you and I find standing on it and just saying to myself, it'll be over in a minute, it'll be over. In a minute, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kicked so much. I kicked. When we lived in Wales. We lived in a caravan and there was a nail sticking out and do you remember I caught my toe on the nail and I ripped like, oh, it was disgusting. I I think it's an autism trait of like having. Which is clumsy as. Fuck yeah, just having no like like coordination I guess. So I kick everything.

Ruth bought a fucking treadmill and she's put it in the doorway between. Like it's literally. At the bottom of the stairs. Directly at the bottom of the stairs, in the doorway between the dining room and the sorry, the dining room. Living room and. It's like, you know, like it's all edges, like, you know, like what you're doing, you're doing that. On purpose I am, yeah. I was having a conversation with Carl because it's, I mean more with because our our brother obviously has autism and one of his children is being tested and you're you and dad and stuff.

But I was talking to Carl about this and I feel like it if anything, I was more ADHD. Then he'll say something and it will trigger a song in my head and I can't remember what the song was yesterday but I literally sang like 2 verses of the song and I was like don't stop me I can't I have to get it out like. Yeah, that's a tism. I can't remember what the song was, but I was very passionate about it in the moment. I'll get a word like. One word 1. Word stuck in my head and I'll just repeat it over and over again until I can't even say it properly.

You know what word is for me? The one that loses all meaning? The quickest corridor. Tongue. Tongue. Yeah, it's it's spelt weird. It's hard to say. Tongue. Tongue, tongue, tongue. But then, yeah, I'll just do that over and over my head and then even in my head. And then you pick apart the word and you think, why does this word even exist? What is it? Why do they need that stupid words?

Tongue, tongue, tongue anyway. What are we doing? Obviously TV DD show isn't. It so yeah, staying back on track time. I do feel like we should maybe make a conscious effort to swear less. Why? Because I literally can't. I think that's part of it. Yeah. We're all grown-ups like. That's fine, I just I thought it was worth. I actually think swear like. I just think every other word out of our mouths is fuck. I don't know why we've decided that we're not allowed to say fuck. Like, don't get me wrong, as a society we've decided we're not allowed to.

So we say to Sam, don't swear at your teachers. Yeah, yeah. So the thing where he hurt his foot and we said do it because it's fucking. Like we said to him, it's like try not to swear all the time because then you sound like me and I just get fucking moaned out all the time. But like. Fuck him. Yeah, fuck everyone else. Who? Cares. OK, I was just. It was just. From a role-playing standpoint. It's just a thought because every other word out of my mouth is fuck. When you listen to the podcast back, it's not a lot of swear words.

It's the same swear words repeatedly and it's fucking shit. I think the only person who's used the the big C word. Is you you? Definitely. I did not. I was raised better than that. He did really, it was like episode 2 or 3 when we you asked, are we swearing in this podcast? And I said, let's try. I was the like overriding voice because at that point we were just using that little fucking mini. Doc Microphone. So I was obviously reading over it and I said let's try not to use the big three or something.

But in the background he goes, it's a cunts. All right then I didn't realise it because that was, I had shitty headphones and I was using Audacity to edit it and stuff and did. I split that in. I do think we should talk about the progression behind the scenes of like where we started to where we got to. Yeah, because I think the first, like the first episode, like episode 1 pilot where you want to fucking call it prologue, was probably recorded on the microphone on my laptop. Like we had that Echo Dot thing, but I don't think I said it out, probably because the sound quality was is so bad.

And then when we actually used the microphone, it has some AI thing on it so that it drowns out outside sound, which if you're in a meeting or whatever is fine, but. When you're recording. A conference in front of it. It's bad, yeah. And that really fucked with the sound. So it took a couple of episodes to improve that. And then, yeah, you've bought. You bought these microphones just in time for. Drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I they're definitely better. I think we need to work. The problem is, is we all, we have a very finite space that we can see.

Yeah, the Garudio got a bit mouldy. I think we need, as it does with every winter, but you know, we can fight that we. Can figure that out. Yeah, yeah. New microphones. I've added music. Yes, yeah, I. Could do music? Hang on. Dong, there you go. Yeah, sorry, I'll get the music. It's quite. Hard because the microphone is on the piano. I think I was using this as a pancreatic. Disney music and it. Will get that shit, no? That's OK. That seemed period March. John Williams owns that. It's got nothing to do with Disney.

I still feel like we can't afford it. Yeah, John Williams seems like a solid bro, but one of the few celebrities we can still like. Because I'm fairly certain he's not in the Epstein files. It's awful. Right. The thing is, though, not unexpected. And I they're, they're, they're having conversations at the moment, aren't they, about whether the police should get involved with Andrew? And I'm like, yes, yeah, if there's evidence, yes, yeah. Enjoy the present. I like my man meat rare. These are things that Epstein has said.

Royal Game Reserve, right? I. It frustrates me that America won't do the same with Trump. Yes, because he's in it. Currently in power, I know. He's like he's, he's mentioned like a million times. He's guilty, we all know he's guilty, but this is also a man that was guilty of what? Sexual happening and rape. And he's the president. Attorney General Pam Bondi is currently getting a fucking grilling at some Senate committee thing. And they're all just like, you're an awful, awful. You're a bit like we literally can't insult you enough.

We just have to put it in basic English. You are. Dreadful. And like at one point, because a load of the survivors are sitting behind her in the dock and she's like, but one of the people is like behind you with these survivors. Like what do you say to them? And she just went off on one about how Trump's the best president ever. She didn't even fucking look at them. She didn't acknowledge the comment that, but she was, she was attorney general, I think in Florida at one point. So I wouldn't be surprised if she's in the fucking fight.

Obviously that's libellous and that's pure conjecture on my part. I. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly, I think this.

I think we should put them in our campaign so we can kill them. Yes, you're going to go to some city where. While Trump appears the. Guy charges some fat Cheeto monster. One of the Dragons has like a really bad wig on and his orange wet lips. Oh my God, so. Sausage fingers. Years and years ago I wrote, I don't know if you remember this, I wrote a really, really bad book. There was like a sci-fi comedy opera thing. I feel like they. Go like semi autobiographical. I was the main character and like, it's not.

Madman and Doughboy. Yeah, I'm still waiting. I need a drawing next time Ruth picks up the tattoo gun. I need a drawing of Madman and Doughboy because I will get them tattooed. They're on. Facebook somewhere. But yeah, I, yeah, I wrote a story where we were like, like Earth had been decimated by some alien invasion and then. I do remember this. Yeah, all of you died instantly. Like I put prayer and Alex and our dads in it and they all died in like the first couple of the chapters and then I got have this great space adventure.

It was amazing. I. Was telling Carl our old computer when we were kids. Like the Packard Bell. We went on holiday to France, so we went to Cognac I think it's called, which is the although standing stones in France and there was like a phallic shaped one and one of us at some point, I can't remember. If it. Was William or Alex? We, we photoshopped just that we we'll do. We went on Microsoft Paint, cut the face out so it was still square, stuck it on the penis and then thought it was the funniest thing ever.

And then there was one of the Norwich City Canary hanging in the car, and we put William's face on that.

Let's kind of call about it. Anyway, the the like fight at the end of the book was against a guy who was clearly Donald Trump. I think I wrote it. It must have been very early on in his first presidency, if he was even president at the time, that you might have been trying to be a politician. But but he was a creepy in my book. He was a creepy pervert that hit because, again, all of the main characters were my friends. And so Ruth and I were both in it and he was hit. But we were like teenagers because it was like how we all met and he was hitting on the roof.

Then when in the book we'd be like 15. So it's like, apparently I already knew that was crazy. Yeah. Sixth Sense. Some like yeah billionaires are bad and they are all fucking raping children. I think when you look at how many children are homeless or starving in this country, the fact that billionaires exist at all is a huge problem. About it Shocking, but then this is the argument I had with but. We also don't want to make this podcast political because we need listeners. I don't know, I. Think I feel like we're not off the mark, but.

Yeah, Yeah. Well, anyone reasonable would agree. Yeah, which is why I had an argument with dad about it, who was literally defending Donald Trump. And it's like, you're a smart person. You're an intelligent man. Why are you? And then he just started like classic, like right wing Tory shit. He just started calling me a communist. A, like it was an insult and B, like it was a counter to anything. It was like, hello, dog. I'm. More of a socialist. Yeah, I'm more of an anarchist to be honest. Fuck the whole thing.

So we'll just go back to living in fields and shit. Never been in church, a copy of the Communist Manifesto at home because when I worked my previous job and I was opening second hand book shops, you would not believe the amount of copies of Mein Kampf and the Communist Manifesto will come through the doors and we're not allowed to sell them. Yeah, so we're. Not allowed to sell them, yeah. Propaganda. They're inappropriate. They're inappropriate. We work on it was, you know, a certain type of place that I worked.

It wouldn't have been appropriate. See, I obviously fundamentally disagree with the message of my camp.

However, I would like to take it. A turn. I would like to read it not, you know, just like it's to get to try and get inside the mind of the man as well. How? You think Hitler would write stuff, but it's. Just those stick figures and speech bubbles. It's all just like, really. Yeah. Like it's all just like every passage reads like that really famous clip of him in Nuremberg where he's standing there yelling and screaming. Like it's all just this raving ranting thing and like. His world view is like really fucking like warped though, like because that we're not obviously, but like are.

We talking about the same hit. No, the one from Mozambique, right. He won an election. Good man. Yeah. No, but they. Had to defend himself and say yeah I realise everyone is talking about how Hitler's come to power. I don't share many of the same beliefs. Just just the important ones. The important. Economic ones about getting people back into work. Well, I I I'm not. Sure, we can use any of this. There was a, there was a, there was a YouTube video I watched recently, I think it was called historically or something like that.

And like the premise of that, of the video was we're going to listen to this in English and then we're going to point out all of the things that you, all of the things that were categorically incorrect with your fucking live statements. Apparently he sent loads of messages over to England. Yeah. To to like to to Chamberlain was like, look, we really want you to back down. This has nothing to do with you. This war does not need to get any bigger than what it already has been. His best? He was like, yeah, but also you can't do what you did to the Jewish population and expect the rest of the world to go.

Yeah, we all knew that was a thing as well. And like I have the reason the because I say it's hard to do that now clearly it's not. But like they were just copying shit that everyone else not even copying shit like everyone else is doing that. We did that like we genocided most of the world. We enslaved what colonised. The the English did. We are Welsh Italians and had no part in it the British. Empire, let's, let's not look, let's not look too heavily onto the Italian side of things, yeah. Like, like, there's so much shady shit that we were doing.

The Americans were bigger on eugenics than a lot of other people. And a lot of the stuff that like Nazi philosophers and quote scientists took was from like American science. And that's what they were using to justify undesirables and stuff that they were then initially putting in concentration camps and like. Simon Wessler did a really good. Video their version of undesirables. I suppose it makes it sound like you're saying Jewish people are undesirable. I. Think people know that I'm using their rhetoric like that's how they.

That's their world view. That's what the Nazis classified, yeah. Yeah. That also included black people, homosexuals. Although again, this is very far away from D&D and I'm not sure any of it should be in this podcast. Just wait till Pancreatitis comes back with a neat little moustache at an orange tan. Alex is going to be like I. Was letting. You guys record without me again because it was really off peace. So there's so Simon Whistler did a did a hit like did a YouTube lecture about the stuff that the Nazi scientists like the stuff that like modern day science and like the Americans actually used from Nazi experimentation.

The stuff that they did on pressurisation and depressurization, especially what happens to the human body like in when you're when you're like inside an iron lung and they turned it on and then turned it off really quickly. That stuff saves lives today because that's how planes but. You know who else did that research? For us, not a great justification. You know, we could have figured that out. You know who else did that research for us? Ocean Gate.

Suck it, billionaires. Cheers guys. Pretty sure, pretty. Sure, I already knew, but I genuinely appreciate the practical, yeah. Have you seen a documentary on that? I was so fucked up. I've seen enough memes and shit. Yeah. Should we talk about D&D on this podcast? Yeah, I feel like all of that needs. So we sort of covered the fight so. With with her playstyle, I'm almost considering like trying to broach the idea of maybe have like Monte Carlson might like become like a spell sword. I. Mean you'd I would because as a fighter the obvious one would be to go for Eldritch night.

I think you're already you've taken a level in barbarian. Oh no, not me for Riv. Oh. For Riv, yeah, maybe I see him born as like a sort of rogue or something. She role plays as a rogue but she fights like saw. Me opening that cannon, you choose to speak. That's what Ignatius. Ignatius is in campaign. We play off air that Carl runs. I have a illusionist wizard who is essentially a rogue, which I thought was nice and original, and then having seen the latest, having seen the Mighty 9, it turns out I think probably the wizard in that is the same.

Yeah. But how do you feel about, I guess the story so far, but where it's going like? I'm already annoyed at the fact that I know that that's not the end of pancreatitis. It's a lot different from the last time we were here. I. Don't think it's got enough ick. So we've, we've done this in the, in, in the, in your first, in your original campaigns. Well, when we started like 3 or 4 years ago, we'll go further though, haven't we? Like more like 5 or 6. What now? Compared to the old campaign off air, we're about we're just over halfway and here is like.

Yeah, you've definitely fast tracked the Prince being in charge. Yeah, but I think that felt a bit more organic because, yeah, when I when I practised this in the past, you all like went all over the country doing everything to. Like we most certainly took the slowdown approach. Like no like well you kind of suspected the pancreatitis was bad. I made it a bit more obvious in this but I feel like it's only we've only come back to this for like 5 episodes and I feel like the story has progressed. A lot.

A lot. I don't know if it's just me and if it's an opinion that nobody else is going to agree with but I hate. It out if they don't. I hate combat heavy sessions. I like a bit of story building and I feel like when we've sat and the whole episode has been a fight, I'm just like, and then we're like, we need to record another one. I'm like, I really don't want to now. Yeah, that's something. So that was why I put in the

mechanics of the like the armies, the little units which I sort of half heartedly came up with based on stuff that I stole from other places or vaguely remembered because I did it pretty much on the spot. Because we feel we did the episodes where you came up with the idea to get all of these people involved and then like recorded, keep saying film recorded the next 1 immediately after. Yeah. So I had to kind of like on the fly come up with rules. But I think that made it a bit more interesting than just having you standing in a room fighting with pancreatitis.

Yeah. A something else to think about, but B it added a bit more dynamic because I Yeah. It's the. Same. It's like especially to edit, it's incredibly like clunky to like get it all working together. That was probably my biggest worry. But that is a core essential part of like DND though. Like fights famously do take a fucking age. Especially like the bigger than the bigger, the more dynamic that they get. Yeah, and that. And that's the joke isn't it? Fights only last a few seconds but they take fucking forever to do the.

Fight in the last one felt a bit more like proper D&D as well, because I had loads of books, loads of bits of paper. Everyone was working out where they were on the map versus everything else. There was other stuff going on so that I need to improve on because I always, that was the bit I was always going to be worried about was the fighting. Because I think there's like, the main reason we do this is because we'd mostly played like a version of this campaign before and I really like the story, so I wanted to tell it in a format where everyone else could appreciate it as well.

Yeah. And then I think as a group, you guys have distinct characters that interact with the world in a fun way, because where do you think it's going to go next? I need a scenario where we need to sneak into somewhere and I have to convince these guys to like dress up as backup dancers or something. Like I need ick to have a moment. Smuggling yourself into DNS, he says. Club just. Really love Rick Astley, I just love him and I thought about. Messaging him on Twitter or something if you're like, I don't have Twitter, but.

My sister. He would definitely do a cameo as well like he is. Like I thought about messaging, what are they called? Is the Sid on Instagram? Is it the Sid Sid sheath? Oh, the I fuck it, I'll. They're like. Them or the Real Mckenzies? Yeah. Yeah, no, I, I love them. Yeah. I just think I've. So I've been doing a lot of research on Karl's family tree. And by a lot of research, I mean I've been balls deep in the Scottish archives and. Legit. Yeah, like you will not believe how much work I fit into this to factually check his line because the the line that I have that linked him to all these Royals was so wishy washy that I was like, I need to redo it.

And actually it wasn't the link I had. It was a different link, but it was still a link. So he descends from like Robert Bruce, William the Conqueror, William Marshall, like William. Conquer one of those ones where? A lot of people. Like, yeah, he was such, so rapey. That is it. Like Genghis Khan. No, that was one of the Henry's I believe had like. Maybe the second or third one? That wasn't the second, but or the third, I don't think. I don't know. But also King John had a lot of like, we're actually related to Carl with King John as our like ancestor that connects us.

Yeah, see, that's the good thing about me and Rufus. There's no way that we're related because her family's tree is a. Circle but but I did I did all this research to the point that I can the clan that we're members of our clan. It's very exciting. They're like one of the oldest clans and the the line that I found, you can see where they on his grandmother's side, where they went from being like chieftains and leads down to burgesses down to and sort of they work their way down until they end up where his grandparents ended up basically and.

Height of society, you know, Generation by generation, chip away until eventually you get to the dregs of. The English colour didn't happened and it all went out the window. But it's been, it's been absolutely fascinating. And in during that deep dive I found like the village and the parish where like 30 members of his family live died and are still buried, that we can go and see the castles that they owned. We can go and see. And that's just on one side. On the Nicholson side. I literally got I have Vikings in his family tree.

It's so cool. Yeah, it's been, it's been so interesting. But then in doing all of that, you learn more and more about Scottish history, and the bagpipes is just something that I love, I just think. It's become synonymous. Yeah, it's just. And then when you have bands that make instruments like that fun, like as someone that plays wind instruments like clarinet, for example, it's very hard to make the clarinet an exciting instrument, but. Some actor famed. Acabilk. Jazz musician. Go. To Matt when editing insert name of.

Famous jazz musician. Who plays Barrett here?

Yeah. But like. Aqua was the famous clarinet. Especially for like stuff like like clarinets and stuff like I'm pretty sure you can find like a like a video game cover of a famous piece done and done on like a clarinet. There are ways to make instruments fun and. Interesting. But I did. I think that bands that that take something like that and make them awesome. And so I wanted to take something I loved, which was Rick Astley and something else I really care about, which is Scottish heritage, which we also have Scottish heritage on Granddad Harvey's side.

Yeah, I found his family. Our clients were not friends. Were you from? A fucking orphanage or some shit. Yes, I found his birth parents. How? DNA, but he's. Dead. But I shared DNA with common ancestors, right? Got you. I. I I don't believe this shit. Our our great granddad knocked up the maid and the maid. Legend. The maid put him. He was taken. Wait, his maid. His maid put in the orphanage. She was sent off to start a new life in the Midlands because that's what they did. They took mums off of single women.

They took their babies. And you have a whole bunch of family that want nothing to do with you. Because he was the problem. Yeah, what they he was like. Well, I've had some of them have contacted me and said. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are any of them rich? Not that I've found out. So I'm guessing fuck you, whoever you are. But. My point? Was I wanted to play a character I could be passionate about? What the hell has got to do with Granddad's weird? Ancestry. I wanted to find a character that I could be passionate about and so I took things I love.

So I took at the time I was doing all this research, so I took like the the Scottish stereotypical bagpipee aspect of it. And then I mixed it with Rick Astley, who when we started going out was when Rickrolling was like absolutely huge. And so everywhere we went this, everywhere we went, this stupid song played and it just like snowballed into a thing, kind of a banger. It's a great song. We played it at our wedding. We did our first dance and then immediately afterwards had that play. I briefly learnt how to play some of that song on here so that I could.

For so long. Not enough that we get serious. There's a YouTube video, isn't there where they've like changed it? The impossible pitch version, that's brilliant. It's. So funny. But yeah, my point is I wanted a character that I was enthusiastic about because he I'm not very good at the whole role-playing imagination side of things because I'm quite a self-conscious, anxiety ridden husk of a person. So I wanted someone that like I knew what traits I was putting in them and could really get behind I. Mean he's getting there yeah like we say he keeps every time you have to think of a plan it Grassley says something is this you're like shut the fuck up IC and then river Bell look at each other and go should we do what he says yes just don't don't tell him it was his idea.

You re suggest the exact same thing I've suggested. It's like, well, you know, it's. Very funny because I have like. Bell is salty as all that. If you listen to the podcast, it seems like that's how long the conversation takes, but in reality, it gradually says it, and then Bell would really argue about it for about 15 minutes and then come to the same conclusion. Yeah. He's right, but we don't want to make him believe that he's right. Kind of smart. Bad enough that he already owns a fucking whiskey line and hasn't bothered to mention that until up until recently.

Yeah, I like this. You know, where's the where's the fucking royalties? Why are we poor? If you have like. We're not poor. We you, maybe you are not poor. We have loads of gold. So I quite like all of the sort of spontaneous world building like it Grassley has a brewery or whatever, or. Riv, a distillery. Riv is a fake sea captain. The Nine House. Of which Bell still believes is true. I don't think he hasn't been given any reason to think otherwise. So I think Carl already had a pretty sound plan for a back story for Bell and then we've like messaged each other semi regularly to like if I'm like.

You sent me a bit of a back story. Yeah, but I had to come up with that completely. You came up with a sort of like character idea that gave me a blank slate. And so I've come up with. I really, I really struggle and I think the one thing that puts people off starting D&D is they're like, oh, I won't be very good at it because it's role-playing. Yes, it. Sounds like. That and I think having people that are willing to help you and it makes all the difference. If you have Adm that genuinely is like, OK, I'll come up with your back story, but there's going to be 5 blanks and you have to fill them in.

Yeah. Like which is more or less Yeah, you gave me a vague outline, but I have come up with something. Should I? I did it differently for the campaigns that I've run. So like, OK, you give me, you give me like a few little pieces of like scant information about yourself and then I will give you the fucking book. And if you don't like it, then we can rewrite and we can rework. Because I'm really no, because I I find that to be like one of my song points. I really like to like build up on shit. Well, this is the thing.

The three of you were all very creative, like Alex has a lot of DND experience and you guys both have a lot of DND experience, so you're comfortable with it. And I just feel like a pleb. So I'm like, Oh no, I don't know. I don't know. And then I second guess myself. And then you're like, yeah, so did you level up? And I'm like, no, I don't understand the spells or what I'm supposed to do with my sheet. And I'm too scared to ask for help because everyone's going to roll their eyes at me and get annoyed.

And then I leave it until we're literally setting up to record the podcast and I'm like, oh, by the way, I didn't level up. And then all three of you are rolling your eyes and annoyed. And then by the time we start. Does he know the sort of thing you could mention before? I know. We don't mind helping, just we. Want to help? Literally, we go right, everyone's ready and everyone goes yes, oh, there we go right, 32. I haven't, I haven't loven. Up yet? Do we live a lot next time? Yes, yeah, I think pancreas type.

So the guys you fought in the street weren't meant to be that hard, but were. That you made it that hard. Were but pancreatitis that block was actually quite a high challenge rating. And then on top of that you had to do quite a lot like you levelled up when you got back to Annan's. I think so there's only a couple of episodes ago, but so much has happened in that time. So I think just thematically as well, because I think that the actual the actual battle. Pancreatitis gives me Graeme Mctavish, so his name Graeme Mctavish vibes.

I'll Google him and show you I think. The actual what, Dougal? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you've said that before. I don't know who it is. I'll show you the. Actual battle I think helped develop. Your I get Mads Mickelson. I get Mads Mickelson when I think of pancreatitis. This is Graeme Mctavish. Yeah, I would go with that. Like let me show you him in. I I would go with. An Outlander because you'll get a This is him, an Outlander. Yeah, less like that, but. This one, hang on, there you go. More more toga than.

I think. Than tartan. Head. Yeah, yeah. Imagine that tartan was a toga. Yeah. There was nothing underneath it. OK. Done. So yeah, I think. Graham, it's Havish. Please come on up. And her husband is sitting right here. In a toga with nothing underneath. Yeah, I did. He is a hear me out. I don't care what anyone says. Look. I think Jesus. Christ, anyway. Have a shot. That is how it exits. Yeah, yeah. We'll level up next time. I've got a rough idea about I guess what do you want your next steps to be So story wise you know about there's a shares and cult somewhere that has been given rough directions.

To I really hate it when Carl plays any cult storyline, but that's probably because I had to sit next to you guys while he played as Shura. But this is different though. There's going to be so you've. Got the same cult? You've got the shares cult, you've got pancreatitis, as you say, you're pretty certain he's going to come back. So there's exploring that. And the Prince is got quite a good grasp of what's going on in the. North, I think we should get the Prince coronated. Yeah, I think we need to get him on the fucking throne as king so that there's no argument between Pancreatitis ruling and him ruling.

Pancreatitis cannot rule if the Prince is king. We have a few holds to secure, yeah. Before we do that though, like if we were to just charge and then try and get him on the throne, that might actually backfire on our face. We don't need to charge, we just defeated them all. We only defeated Bank of Tais and we haven't secured, we haven't secured loyalty, we haven't secured loyalty from Satya, we haven't secured loyalty from There's damn near. Do we need that loyalty? He's the right for there right he is.

But he's very, I think. You take someone from each high level of each of those places, stick them in the King's council, Job done. Yeah. I was just curious if you guys had any desperate issues. There's Casmiden is Belle's hometown that's got some shit going on. See what I said? Belle's. Is Elfis. There's the Dwarven forge city that apparently has lost communication. Do we know about that actually? I think it was briefly, but I think Silla mentioned it when you're in the. I think. With Ick, like obviously everyone around here knows who he is and he keeps like he keeps rolling and bolstering his ego because my roles are just so good.

Do you think that when he goes home they're like, oh fuck sake. I don't know where is home, where is where is egg from Because I've asked this before and. I don't have any dice. Hang on, hang on. I didn't come prepared to this DND podcast. I was just going to look and see if it's in our in our chat that we did. Roll, roll, roll a history check 11 You get a pounding headache and your nose starts bleeding. Oh. I said your nose starts bleeding. Well, I. Can't like. Hold on. Look, I have endo. I can bleed out of many places.

My nose is not one of them you put in here. Yeah, I know what I put in there, so don't start talking about it. Let's try and keep some of the mystery, shall we? But there was literally one, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what I put, that's why I wrote it down and sent it to you it. Doesn't say where I'm from though. It doesn't, doesn't, no. People kept asking it, Grassley about his back story and initially it didn't seem particularly important, but it kept coming up. So I was like, OK, roll, roll a history check.

And then even all the history check failure. I mean, I think Christ, I don't have to. It's just like I've said, there are a few things about it. Grassley being a world famous superstar like he has a brewery for example. And that's it. That's all we need. What was I going to say to you? I remember what I was going to say as you were saying that was his first campaign as well was saying to me because you DM the other off my campaign. She was like he doesn't DM like anyone I know who D is. She said I really like it.

So he puts loads of energy into it and it's really interesting and it's fun to play, but I've never known anyone like DM like that and I was wondering if you think he DMS different to how you DM? Yeah, I that comes across I think in the 2. It sounded that sounds like it was a bit too. It wasn't. She was full of praise. She loves your campaign. I was just. I've never DM so I was curious. It's a bit starker on the podcast, The Difference because. Oh yeah, definitely the the material difference. When we do it online or whatever, like just at home, usually we're all well, we certainly.

Are trashed at the very least half cut. Very rarely drunk on the podcast, but yeah. Touch what? My start recording it in the afternoon specifically to avoid it. My style is very much more cartoony. I like like there is a limit, but I like cartoon violence. I. Like, yeah, you're more Saturday morning. Yeah, I, I. Disney Channel, cartoon. I'm more HBO. Yeah, the yeah, I like the way I, the way I structured it. Initially, your Marvel and your DC, right? More or less. Yeah, the way I structured this, I like to think of it because you never really spend any time anywhere.

Yeah. Because I think the way we play, that would get boring. We don't want to be building a base and setting down ties and stuff. We want to like there's a clue in the next place, so let's go to the next place. I think is more engaging. Yeah, like that. So I kind of like that Saturday morning like Pokémon. Yeah. Like at one point you went to a Wild West town just in middle of nowhere. There was a Wild West town just just as a like a filler bit between the two. And it was like, this was fun. We'll never come back here.

Huey was great, but I. Forgot no one. No one fucking remembers the name of this town, so that doesn't matter anymore, Yeah. So, but I I like that thing. Whereas yeah, your style. And there was the first thing I said when I played in our home game felt way more kind of like dark horror, the war. Like I mine is all bright colours and open sky, and yours is way more like shadows around the edges. And everyone feels actually like they might die at some point. Yeah, way more tense. It's a, it's, it's very stark.

It's a, it's a very stark contradiction. Looking back how I how I DM we want my own home broke campaign and having to stay within the the guidelines and like the within the book of Strad. I think, yeah, that. Does that's that's the real fucking challenge. Yeah, because I remember Isabel at the at the end of like the first, first ever session that I ever DM. The thing was like no, there was like the second or third session Isabel sent me a message and she said don't stick to the book you DM better when you're not reading.

And like I've I've kept with that ever since. So having to like zone in even though I pushed so hard for. It yeah, I guess yeah. I mean, I would assume I'd like the book presumably tells you, but I would assume we've massively fucked the campaign, No? In Borovia by. You can like it is possible, like the only way that you can achieve like a end game quote unquote like end game state, even if you fuck up like all of these side quests along the way is if you do not kill Strad or if Strad kills you.

There are, there are certain, there's like a certain sequence of like, there's a certain, like a set of items that you need to be able to like properly destroy him and lift the curse. You can kill him and not lift the curse. And as you leave through the portal the next morning, the sun doesn't rise and he comes back. And it's like everything that you did means nothing. But there is a way. I think so, yes. Big funny, bright colours and relatively little threat. Like you always have fights and stuff, but so far, apart from like once or twice, it hasn't felt like you're actually going to die.

Yeah, it's more about the fun. Story anyway. It's a fun story we're telling. Whereas yeah, when Carl campaigns, everyone is constantly terrified that BBC is going to kill them. Like it's genuine, like way more tense once. Because again, Shorty, he does it with the mini figures and the maps and stuff and that's another totally different way of DM ING, right? So is there a wrong way to DM? Yeah, you just make up the rules as you go along. If you don't listen to your players say for example, wearing a Tavern and you've you've given us quest hoax, there is a mysterious guy in the corner, there are a bunch of sailors playing dice.

There are two Barbarians having a fucking fist fight in the other corner and one of your players is like, I want to go and have a drinking match with the barman and you're like, no, fuck you, you can't do that. It's one of these three. You've got to pick one of these three. That's that's a bad way to DM. Yeah, yeah. I don't not just a no, it should be no, but Jesus, there should be no but yeah, like. What I mean is like the way you guys do it is different to the way Shorty does it, and I think probably different to the way Isabel does it.

And is that? Yeah, yeah. She DMS for some friends, yeah. But yeah, I was just wondering if the people that play it the way Shorty plays it look down on the way that you guys run it. No, not just Shorty. Listens, so it's hard to. Say, I don't think he knows about it, but I haven't. Done any of my friends that we do this? That's right, like the there are ways to. Go around, I've got my boss missing. There are ways to go around the whole the map and figuring thing and it is, it is certainly a way and it does, it does help like the players like visualise what's going on like in session because you can see the map in front of you and you can see the grid and you're like, OK, I can move 30 feet and like a grid is like 5 feet.

So it does make it more easier. Where everyone is anyway. If I could afford it I would absolutely do the mini figures. There was. He he spends all of the money printing them off and then he he paints them and like, he does a lot of like Warhammer painting stuff as well. He's he's an excellent fucking like mini figure painter. Like the work he puts in is amazing. He's still like super single, right? Oh yeah, he, he, he. But he's really good. Like modifying them with stuff as well. So at one point we fought some demon thing and he just used a bow rock from the Lord of the Rings Warhammer.

But then he he like like basically cut little grooves into it and put a string of like orange LEDs across. It's like. Sword. So he put. It on the map and then it lit up and it was like, we did we did a thing where we fought in a maze underwater and we fought this weird crap beholder thing. Yeah, but it was like it was over like a volcanic vent. So we put a pipe in the middle of the map. And so like, like, because he has it all set up when we we all arrive. Yeah, we get there and he starts putting the figures out.

This thing appears, he puts it in the middle of the thing and then steam starts rising up around it and it was like, oh, it's so fucking cool. God, I don't like, I wish I had the time to do this. That's incredible. You chose to get married and have a family instead. You're a fucking idiot. Could be worrying my I could be worrying my single friends of my really cool miniatures, right? Well, we were like, it took us 45 minutes to park at yours today because of the school pickup. I said to Carl, thank God we don't for the next 18 years have to do school pickup.

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to high school at the moment. We live feet from the fucking school, so it's also bad. But. Yeah, by that age he can walk himself and there's a bus and be fine. I don't know that he could. I don't. Think he could get way too easily distracted I. Don't know he'll end up in like Germany. Yeah, I think that's where I went. That turned out all right. Yeah. One time I went to Russia and a man with three fingers tried to steal my hat. Tried to steal my fingers. We're on, we're on the 3/3 fingers total like he didn't even have.

Like the other one hand. Oh, OK, he so he was missing his ring finger and his index finger. But anyway, we we're on the just. Reminded me of something. We're on the. Fucking Abe. We're on the Truly bus or whatever it's called, from where we were. Where you were to where you were going to.

The centre of Saint Petersburg. So I have these little metro tram things that go around, which don't really stop. Yeah, like they have the button like you have on a bus, but they don't really. They kind of slow down a bit and you just have to jump off. Yeah, yeah. But. Yeah, we were sitting on this Julius thing and they could pick out a fucking tourist from a mile away. And so this guy's sitting there staring at me on this on this bus. He's like, well, you're English, man. It's like, yeah, yeah.

They've never been on the England where they're probably from London. It's like, yeah. No, it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm from London. Yeah. Well, you know David Beckham. No, no, we've not crossed paths for a bit. I mean, you're not David Beckham. No. You mean I like David Beckham. So. OK, good. But I don't know. It's nice hat you've got because I had, like, this ushanka that I'd bought. Yeah, it was. I bought it in Latvia. It's made of, like, seal fur. Yeah. Really nice. It's. So nice. I remember seeing that hat.

A fucking nice hat anyway. He's like, he's a nice hat. It's like, yeah. Don't say I bought it in Riga. Yes. Can I have your head? No. Like do something. She's just getting off the fucking butt. You can have my hat. He's like, can I see your head? It's like, no, I would like to see your head. No, you can't. No, this is this is my hat

because I take it off while we're on this bus. I'm just holding it and he's like trying to grab it and I'm like, like trying to put it away. He's like, yeah, I want to see your hit. It was like no give away from me.

Fuck it. I hit the button on the thing. We're nowhere near a fucking stop. And like the trolley bus, like the metro tram thing, I kind of like slowed down a bit. I was like, fuck it, bail just jumped off. And then we're now just in the middle of like suburban Saint Petersburg, which like the actual centre of Saint Petersburg, Nestle Prospect and where like the Hermitage and all that shit is where it's got all of the stuff that they built to make look like France essentially. Like that's all really nice.

The rest of it, once you get away from that very specific bit, it's just shitty, like Soviet flats and stuff. And I was like, fucking hell, this is shit. Like we're going to die now, like. We are going to die. But at least I'll die in my hat, so I'm. Pretty certain I saw two people die in Russia because like Roof says, you don't stand on like manhole covers. Because they're not fitted properly. They. Yeah. I'm pretty certain I saw someone do that and just gone. Yeah. And then we're at There's I. Would not be able to watch that and keep a shame face it's.

Terrifying. But it was like out of the corner of my eye, so I don't. I'm not sure. I'm just pretty certain that's what I saw. But why? Definitely. You did a double take and you're expecting to see someone be like, yeah, yeah. But. Does that mean I did there's? Clearly a hole in the middle of the road there. But we're at the I think it's called the Kuntz Camera, which is a museum, but it's the one that Peter the Great made. Oh yeah. Where he has because he was he was obsessed with like the. Greatest such a good TV show.

Well, yes. Is that about him? Is it? Yeah. Well, wow. So you know, he loose me. You know, he's into like dwarves and people with birth defects and deformities and stuff. Like he used to collect them. And so you're going around this music and it's really weird, like. Like Pokémon? But it's not like like you'll be looking at this cabinet full of jars of bits of body and formaldehyde. It'll be like dead baby, dead baby, dead baby, starfish, dead baby. And like I just, I remember 1 and it was all like weird, but like severed arms or whatever, like hands and jars like in this cabinet.

And then in the bottom was just a plastic shark, like a toy. What is that there? It's looking at the window and like we were there. I think it was very April, and so it had like there wasn't a lot of snow, but like the snow, they had it settled and like they had guys on top of this building. So I'm looking out this window and there's guys on top of this building and they're like, they've got like snow shovels, but they're like jamming into the top of the snow. And then it's like an avalanche, a big slab of like 3 or 4.

Building on YouTube. Sliding off into just onto like the path running alongside the canal, Yeah. Yeah, on to someone they weren't. Checking to see if there was anyone down there and there was this woman just walking down and like, because like be thick, this layer of fucking snow and ice on top of this roof just half the time straight down just onto this woman. I stood there for ages looking at the window. Like what? Oh my God, Three comes. I go, what are you looking at? I'm like, there's a woman there.

As she looks out of the window, she just sees this pristine snow. She's like, what are you talking about? It's like there was a woman. The snow, she's like, no, there is. It was like. I mean, not anymore. Fuck. She's dead now, but like like someone has just died out there. Like I'm swearing God, there's no way she's because these buildings are like one or five storeys high. Like there's no way she fucking survived that. I'm like. Anyway, this tangent has reminded me of two things. One is in London, there is the Huntarian Museum, which is all body parts and jars.

I went when I did history of medicine at PSC and they have like a foot with smallpox and stuff. Fucking sick. And the other thing is when you talk about the guy with the three fingers, you reminded me of Alex when we went to when we went to France's kids, we went to do some archery. Was it It was paintballing. But our little brother, he went for a phase of giving the finger without giving the finger, so he would cover his hand with his other hand. So he'd do this. Oh yeah. Yeah, he'd he'd. Throw the meeting.

Someone's flipping you a bird, but. They they're covering. Covering the the finger with your hand. Yeah. And now I think it was in France especially, there was a war, wasn't there, with a lot of people lost those two. Fingers like ex special forces. Yeah, so and people used to like do that to take. The Longbow arches so. They would do give two fingers instead of 1 as like a pig. You haven't got any fingers anyway. Alex got shot and point blank range in the arm is really bad. Wasn't it his whole arm?

A a grown adult shot. A child. Like a 10 year. Old. Yeah, he wasn't like an unarm point blank. Yeah, it was really bad. Like his whole arm was a different colour and it's. Funny now because it's Alex, but. The guy was basically telling Alex to just like, shut up and it doesn't matter. So, Alex. He was doing what we did with Sam at the start of the podcast, which was like trying to take your mind off it, breathe through it. But yeah, he was doing it in a jokey way. Because if you can make the kid laugh, yeah, because kids are dumb.

So he'll forget about it. I don't. Know brain. Alice's brain doesn't work that way and So what he did was he covered his fingers and did the like I'm swearing not swearing thing. Anyway, this ex special forces guy was missing those two fingers. Yeah, he got very, very angry. We had to explain, really explain it down to. Him. Yeah, like. I wasn't involved. I was too busy laughing at how I was getting shot. I think I was off at pony camp riding horses, but it was. Check out these motherfuckers, huh?

These rich ass motherfuckers. Pony camp paintballing France. I never had a, I never had a holiday as a. Child, I take you on holiday all the time to make up for it. It's not my fault you won't get on a plane. Otherwise I would take you paintballing in France. You can go to plane. You can get to France by using a train or boat. About the house we had in Florida then. Anyway, on that note.

These red tests motherfuckers over here it's. Been quite a life, hasn't it? I have to believe we fucking complained so much immediately. I complained because I realised I had it easy. And and now we don't. Where I want it harder Where? I realised, like I, I realised now, but I was a complete brat and I frankly I still am, but I don't then take that out on everybody else. I think we should all help each. Other I agree we should. Anyway, we need to wrap this up. I need to go get the kid from school.

Should we like tangent back to D&D so that you can edit all of that out?

Where were we? I remember what we were talking. About. So in terms of the future, how do you want to structure it? Vista V Strad. We have just hit an important milestone in this, so I think we'll do another few of Pan Ofeon to resolve the next arc. Yeah. And then once we've done that, we'll go back because I miss Yvonne, but yeah, we'll get back to Strad. I want to know what happens. And then at some point you can. You can. What was that? Who's Ivan? Oh wait. Dankovic, Dankovic. Dankil. Dankil. Ivan.

Dankovic. Who's Dankovic? I don't know. There's a, there's quite a few. Akovic is in Strad so. It's me, Ivan Dankovic. You want to buy some Marshalls? Want to buy a watch anyway? Yeah, sorry you were asking a legit question. Yeah, we'll do some more of these. We'll cover the next arc, whatever that is, and then we'll go back to Stride for a bit. And we need to resolve Stride so that you can make your own campaign for this. And you need to learn, you need to read Strixhaven so that we can do the Brad, Chad and Chester Chronicles and then.

Yeah, I'm really excited about strikes Haven. I am going to do it. I'm ready to DN Yeah, anyway. Well, not actually ready because I'm really fucking but but like I'm I'm like, ready. Start. Reading, I thought I'd have a job. What you doing? I know, I thought. Well, I. Thought you don't. You don't. You don't want to know what she'd spent her time doing. Fair enough. It would. It would it would. It would just infuriate you. I crochet. I'm making blankets for Sam and Amelia and Charlie. I don't hear any of those people are.

And when? She's. When she's not crocheting, she's watching reruns of TV reality. Rather than Attack on Titan. Or any of the anime that I have suggested in the past, you know? I need something that I've seen 100 times that brings me comfort. You know how roof like binge watches Grey's Anatomy? Yeah, Renville of House in a. Minute or Gilmore Girls. Yeah, House is so fucking good. You're only saying it because it's got Hugh Laurie in it. Back me up, it's fucking good. Someone. He's gone. Hot the three the three people that work for him.

Yeah, are. They just not the worst. Yeah, I hate. All of I hate supposed to like identify with them, No I. Hate them all. I identify with him and not with them. I'm like, he's he's got chronic pain and is. Addicted to tramadol. He's the angry autistic man. He goes out of his way to make everyone miserable I identify with. That but. The rest of them, like they're just dickheads. They're fucking awful anyway. On that. Probably I will be able to turn it into something that isn't it's going. To be about 15 minutes long.

I said I said this to myself when I went outside for a quick vape just now. I was like we were on DND and now we're not again. So there's about 5 minutes of actual like conversation we can use for this. Good D&D bits in there, and then the rest of it's just therapy we need to like. Just anything about our parents will take out. Anything about politics will take out or Nazi. So have fun like. Like I said, it might turn out to be a political tirade, but. I'm trying to get a job so I need kind editing.

Yeah, true. Weirdly, societally, telling everyone that you're not a Nazi is a good thing. But as far as getting a job for the six people who own the job market, being a Nazi is probably a good thing. I mean. She's nodding. Just so you know.

Bye. Stacey Grease.

Bye, you're awful. I am coming to get you. That's right. You've already got it out for me. Pancreatitis is clearly a fascist. It shoves his Dick and pancreatitis decapitated head. It talks. It tastes like a peppermint fape.

Peppermint tape. Are you wearing glasses? Yeah. How do we wear glasses? About a year. Because. Because. Juxtaposize is a word. Juxtaposize. Well, you know, juxtaposition, say. Juxtaposize.

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